Emperor's New Groove Quotes
Here are some quotes from Mark's and My favourite movie Emperor's New Groove!!
[Kuzco and Pacha are tied to a tree branch floating in a river]
Pacha: Uh oh.
Kuzco: Don't tell me: We're about to go over a huge waterfall.
Pacha: Yep.
Kuzco: Sharp rocks at the bottom?
Pacha: Most likely.
Kuzco: Bring it on.
Kuzco: No touchy!
Pacha: Where did you come from, little guy?
Kuzco: No.... touchy!
Pacha: Aah! Demon llama!
Kuzco: Demon llama? Where?
[Turns around and sees Misty, a real llama]
Kuzco: Aaah!
Misty: Maaah!
Pacha: Aaaa! Demon llama!
Kuzco: Demon llama? Where?
Kuzco: [On pulling the wrong lever in Yzma's secret lab and falling into a crocodile infested pit] Why does she even HAVE that lever?
[Kuzco considers seven potential brides who all look remarkably alike]
Kuzco: Now what do we have here? (1st) Hate the hair, (2nd) Not likely, (3rd, 4th and 5th) Yikes, Yikes, Yikes, (6th) and let me guess, you have a great personality.
Kuzco: Living proof that dinosaurs once roamed the Earth.
[re: Kuzco]
Yzma: I practically raised him.
Kronk: You'd think he would've turned out better.
Yzma: Yeah, go figure.
Kuzco: OK, I admit it. Maybe I wasn't as nice as I should have been but, Yzma, do you really want to kill me?
Yzma: Just think of it as you're being let go, that your life's going in a different direction, that your body's part of a permanent outplacement.
Kronk: Hey! That's sorta the same thing he said to you when you got fired!
Yzma: I know, it's called a "cruel irony". Like my dependence on you!
Yzma: Tell us where the talking llama is and we'll burn your house to the ground.
Kronk: Don't you mean "or"?
Yzma: [sighs] Tell us where the talking llama is *or* we'll burn your house to the ground.
Chaca: Well, which one is it? That seems like a pretty crucial conjunction.
Waitress: Ordering! 3 pork combos, extra bacon on the side, 2 chili cheese samplers, a basket of liver and onion rings, a catch of the day, and a steak cut in the shape of a trout! You got all that honey?
Kronk: 3 oinkers wearing pants, plate full of hot air, basket of grandma's breakfast and change the bull to a gill, got it!
Yzma: A few drops of this in his drink and he'll be dead before dessert.
Kronk: Too bad, because it's gonna be delicious.
Old Man: Oh, that wasn't the first time I was thrown out of a window and it won't be the last. What can I say? I'm a rebel!
Pacha: Someday, you're gonna find yourself all alone, with nobody to blame but yourself.
Kuzko: Thanks. I'll log that one away.
[Plotting ways to kill Kuzco]
Yzma: Aaah... How shall I do it? Oh, I know... I'll turn him into a flea. A harmless, little flea. And then, I'll put that flea in a box. And then I'll put that box inside of another box. And then I'll mail that box to myself. And when it arrives, (laughs) I'll smash it with a hammer! It's brilliant, brilliant! Brilliant, I tell you! Genius, I say!
Yzma: Take him out of town and finish the job now!
Kronk: What about dinner?
Yzma: Kronk, this is kind of important.
Kronk: How about dessert?
Yzma: Well, I suppose there's time for dessert.
Kronk: And coffee?
Yzma: All right, a quick cup of coffee. Then take him out of town and finish the job!
Kuzko: Oh no, now I feel really bad, bad Llama
Pacha: We shook hands on it!
Kuzko: You know, the funny thing about shaking hands is...
[wiggles hoof]
Kuzko: You need hands!
Kuzko: Cheese, me no likey!
Yzma: Kronk! Quick, on three, knock down this door!
Yzma: Kronk, do you have the poison?
Kronk: Huh? OH! The poison...Kuzco's poison, the poison to kill Kuzco...that poison?
Kuzco: Boo-yeah!
Kuzco: It's a good thing you're not a big fat guy or this would be really difficult!
Kuzco: Boom, baby!
Yzma: A llama!?! He's supposed to be DEAD!
Kronk: Yeah, weird!
Kronk: Look at him with that sissy, stringy thing.
Kronk: We've been over this. It's a harp.
Kronk: Yeah, that's a harp. And that's a dress!
[The palace guards have been transformed into animals]
Cow Guard: Hey, I've been turned into a cow. Can I go home now?
Yzma: All right. You're excused. Anybody else?
Other Guards: No, no. We're good.
[Kuzko collides with an old man while dancing]
Kuzco: Aargh! You threw off my groove!
Tipo: Dad! Watch out!
[waking from a dream]
ChiCha: Tipo, what is it?
Tipo: I had a dream dad was tied to a log and he was careening out of control down a raging river of death!
Yzma: [handing him a bottle of poison] Feel the power, Kronk!
Kronk: Oh, I feel it.
Kuzco: Oh, and...by the way, you're fired.
Yzma: Fired! Wh-wh-what do you mean, "fired".
[Kuzco snaps his finger and a servant comes in and writes down Yzma's "pink slip".]
Kuzco: How else can I put it? "You're being let go." "Your department's being downsized." "You're part of an outplacement." "You're life's going in a diff'rent direction." Take your pick. I've got more!
Yzma: That's it, Kronk! That's it! I'll get rid of Kuzco!
Kronk: The real Kuzco?
Yzma: Of course, the real Kuzco!
[while Kuzco and Pacha are trying out all of Yzma's potions]
Kuzco: Yay! I'm a llama again! Wait a minute...
Kuzko: Ok, What's with the chimp and the bug, can we get back to...ME?!?
[Chandelier falls around Yzma]
Kronk: That usually works.
Yzma: Ya and so does this...
[pulls lever]
Kronk: Shoulda seen that coming.
Kronk: Now what are the odds of that Trap door leading out here?
Yzma: It's like working with a monkey. A big, stupid monkey named Kronk.
Kronk: Oh.
Yzma: And you know what? I never liked your spinach puffs either.
Kronk: [hurt gasp]
Yzma: Never!
Kronk: Oh, that was harsh.
Kuzco: I can't believe this is happening.
Yzma: Then I bet you weren't expecting this!
[Yzma shows Kuzco and Pacha her ugly knee and both of them scream.]
Yzma: Ah-ha!
[Yzma shows a sword on her leg.]
Kuzco: Oh, okay.
[After telling Pacha that he intends to build Kuzco-topia]
Pacha: But where will we live?
Kuzco: Hmm.....Don't know, don't care. bye! bye!
Kuzko: [after throwing a rock at Pacha's head & acting innocent] Somebody's throwin' stuff....are you going to build a fire, or what?
Yzma: [squeaky voice] Looking for this?
[clutching her throat]
Yzma: Is that my voice?
[coughs]
Yzma: Is that *my* voice? Oh, well.
Kronk: You're not just gonna let him die like that.
Kronk: My shoulder angel!
Kronk: Don't listen to that guy! He's trying to lead ya down the path of righteousness. I'm gonna lead ya down the path that ROCKS!
Kronk: Oh, come off it!
Kronk: *You* come off it!
Kronk: You!
Kronk: You!
Kronk: You!
Kronk: You infinity!
Pacha: What happened?
Old Man: Why, I threw off the Emperor's groove.
Pacha: What?
Old Man: His groove! The rhythm in which he lives his life! His pattern of behavior! I threw it off! And the Emperor had me thrown out the window!
Pacha: Oh, I'm supposed to see him, so -
Old Man: DON'T THROW OFF HIS GROOVE!
Pacha: Okay.
Old Man: Bewaaaaaaaare, the grooooooooove!
Pacha: Say, are you gonna be all right?
Old Man: Groooooooooooove!
Guard: Now, for the last time, we did *not* order a giant trampoline!
Delivery Person: You know what, you could've told me that before I set it up!
Pacha: We're on our honeymoon!
Waitress: Bless you for coming out in public.
Kuzco: It's my birthday present to me, I'm so happy!
Yzma: That is the last time we take directions from a squirrel!
Kuzco: How did you get here before us?
Yzma: Ah...How did we, Kronk
Kronk: Well, you got me.
[pulls down a map]
Kronk: By all accounts, it doesn't make sense.
ChiCha: I have to go wash something.
Yzma: This isn't poison! This is extract of LLAMA!
Kronk: In my defense your poisons all look alike. You might think about re-labeling them.
Kuzco: When I give the word, your little town thingee will be "bye-bye". Bye-bye!
Yzma: Do you have the poison?
Kronk: Huh? Oh, right, the poison, the poison for Cuzco, the poison chosen specifically to kill Cuzco, Cuzco's poison. Gotcha covered.
Kuzco: No, don't drop it!
Yzma Kitty: I'm not going to drop it you fool, I'm going to drink it, and once I turn back into my beautiful self I'm going to KILL you! Muwahahahaha!
Kronk: Woohoo!! FASTER FASTER!! Yzma put your hands in the air!!
[After getting hit in the head with a frying pan]
Kuzco: You lovely wife! Both very pretty.
Yzma: That's it! Break the door down.
Kronk: Break it down? Wha-, ya kidding me? This is hand carved mahogany.