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| November 3 | today i had a day off...father went to the doctors with quy, hong went to work with mother, kids were in school, and i stayed home to babysit andy with grandma....then hong came home around noon and i went to the library to get my FIU stuff printed out...called in for orientation and they told me i would be able to pay for everything tomorrow rather than coming in today...thank you...saves me the ride and toll. anyways...after that...got stuff ready for orientation. i've been going crazy because everyone insisted that i needed the meningitis shot but hav not received it...i was wondering if i would be able to get it today and still make it to register for classes (since u hav to submit proof of immunizations prior to orientation) and the lady informed me that i did not need meningitis...it was only required for those who decided to live on campus. pooping face! all this worrying and finding a place to get cheap shots for nothing! but i shouldn't complain. at least i dun hav to take the shots and it saves me money. after that, i went to the UPS Store to make some faxes. i hate the owner of that store but its the closest to my house. i wasnt in the mood to drive further just to send some faxes. his bitch ass cheated me out of $2.00. he told me that before i can send a fax, i would have to also pay to fax in a cover sheet...but when the spanish lady came in and asked him to send a fax, he didnt tell her to fill out a cover sheet. so along with paying for the pages i was faxing, i also ended up paying for the faxing of the cover pages...an extra $2.00. bitch ass! i HATE mi dang and nguoi me people. drives me insane.... after going home...hong left me to baby sit andy again because she had to go talk to StateFarm with daddy...took care of the little guy...he's so hard to feed milk now...and he throws up a lot now. everyone is saying that he's getting skinnier and ppl are freaking out...but to me, he still looks like my 'fat ass baby brother'...anyways...hong came home again and later that night, we went to Brandsmart to get cindy a digital camera that was on sale. she wanted one for like ever and i decided to get it for her for a graduation present so she can capture her senior year. lalala... i have everything i need for orientation....all ready..except for my high school transcript copies...but oh well. they should have them already. i'm terrified to go..and it's so long. from freaking 8AM to 5PM....i just hope it is sort of like nova's orientation and i'll survive.... duong is watching his movie now....he kind of has me suspicious...but no snooping. i heard some tv noise in the background so maybe he's telling the truth. but blah...i just want to talk to my hunnie before i fall asleepy...kinda hav to wake up at like 5:30AM so that i can find everything alright at FIU....anyways...toodles and goodnite. | November 2 | i reallie feel like a failure. as i read this journal over...i begin to ask what happened to that 'anal, always on task' trang?...i've reallie been slacking off a lot lately...i've also been blaming it on work and taking care of the family...but half or a majority of that blame shound be pointed at me. i need to get back on task. i need to figure how this FIU stuff and what i reallie want in life. i need to start planning and making those 'to do' lists again so i can get back on track. no more slacking. there's a lot of things i reallie need to change about myself....i shouldnt blame other ppl or things anymore...they are my choices...and now i hav to find the solutions... so i think that since parents are giving me a day off tomorrow...i'm goin to drive to FIU and get everything done. i'm going to ask parents to see if i can make the orientation this weekend because its a must...i dun want to be stuck with the sucky classes in the end...then i reallie need to get my financial aid information done with to insure that i will be getting some money towards school...then there's hunting down the 'big people' that are in charge of scholarships and talkin to them about this whole valedictorian thing.... that's education wise...health wise...mother was right all along. i've been eating a lot of unhealthy things and not reallie caring. i've gained a lot of weight in my tummy area and get too tired doing a tiny little workout...i need to start drinking more milk so i wont become a statistic with osteoporosis in the future since asian women are more prone to get it...then i need to take mother's advice and drink that aloe drink she suggested for me...as well as more veggies and good healthy, not-so-tasty, but good-for-the-body food...less coca cola and other carbonated drinks...more water and if i crave for the sugary drinks...there's always that healthy orange juice... after i get done with the health dpt....i reallie should work on my attitude towards everything. i get an attitude when i have to work for my parents everyday...but daymn, am i selfish or wat? my parents work every single day...especially daddie who work all day at the nail shop and then come home to take care of both andy and quy...getting less than 3 hours of sleep every night and i'm complaining? i reallie need to get an attitude check. i need to control my anger and temperament....that is also true in the love dept. with duong...i promise to myself that i will not snoop anymore..i will trust his word... i reallie hope that i can keep with these things....it will help me...i need to be the good, on task, never lazy trang that i once was not so long ago... so WELCOME BACK TRANG! | March 11 | JUDGEMENT DAY!!! ahhz…the SILVER KNIGHTS INTERVIEW was GOOD!!! Not like I’m going to win or anything…but I mean, I didn’t make a fool out of myself so that was a relief… Last night…I stayed up forever, switching from skirt to pant suit, pant suit to skirt…it was nerve wrecking not knowing what I should wear…. eventually, I figured I stick with the pant suit…picked out my jewelry, got my purse together and all the belongings inside..laid my eyeliner and lipgloss out on the dresser…made sure the straightening iron was ready to go…seemed all ready and there for me to wake up in the morning and be okay to leave on time….THEN, how could I forget…I had to do my supplement form and get together items to bring for support and show….GRRR…thought I would have been able to jump right into bed…boy was I wrong?…ended up staying til possibly 3 o’clock aligning the word document with the supplement form for printing…finding some support documents, organizing my new programs for the judges…realizing that I needed to make photo-copies…it was all fine-and-dandy (sarcasm)…eventually I think I was prepared to lay asleep…with 2 and a half hours of sleep…. Woke up at 5:30 AM…feeling so lazy and unwilling to get out of bed…got ready…ate breakfast…put on those painful shoes…walked outside and couldn’t bare the shoes…went back inside looking for some band-aids…*remembering that I went through the last box of band-aids w/ the last new pairs of shoes*…left to wal-mart…made my copies….wobbled to the first-aid aisle…grabbed a box of band-aids…paid for it…and OMG…$2.47 for like 15 band-aids…complete rip-off…too bad my feet hurt too much to walk back and get another box…went to get gas…went to andrea’s…onto N I-75 and 595…made it, but like everyone else…missed the turn so had to go all around again… Soon enough…we were parked and safely there in front of Signature Grand….alex was already there so all three of us went in first…soon people began coming and before you know it, we had to register and check in…waiting in the “wait room” for our names to be called…Flanagan high school went first so little by little, each of us was called in to see the judges…the girl helper called my name and with an anxiety attack about to emerge..i walked with her…she told me my judges were really nice and to relax…met my judges…shook their hands…sat down…and the interviewing begins Questions: -Tell me about your volunteer experience in Madie Ives Elementary. -What motivated you to stay with Madie Ives and work about 215 hours with them? -How does it feel to be 1 out of 1223? (Judge’s comment: I would probably been 1222 out of 1223...Hehez…humor…relaxation) -What kind of work did you do at your Buddhist temple? -What has kept you involved in your Buddhist temple and do you still help there as of now? -How do you manage to do all of these school activities, community service, and be ranked 1? (lots and lots of coffee) -What do you plan to do with science in the future? -What obstacles have you overcome and what’s motivated you the most to want to pursue a medical career? -What was your SAT score? (Grrr….) Answers….no “umms” and “likes” (surprisingly because “like” seems to be the only word that ever comes out of my mouth) and tons and tons of SMILES…^_^ Overall, I think the interview went well…one of the judges didn’t seem interested to be a judge…the other two were prepared with their highlighting in my portfolio and scribbling away with my answers on their evaluation card…and you know…since Flanagan went first…people always remember the first and last things and there was no basis to compare us with….wooo hoo :P After the interviews (which seemed like 2 minutes when it was supposed to be 15 minutes long), we waited for everyone from Flanagan to be done and we took group pictures…took andrea home and confronted my fear of that those highway ramps….home now at 9:07 (first period just ended…)…debating whether or not I should go back to school…maybe ill go get my prom ticket and make up that ap world history test…then leave..that seems like a good plan…so toodles ^_^ | March 10 | AHHHz…my feet are in pain …they are so freaking sore…stupid gay shoes…I hate it when the cute shoes are always the most painful…it’s so gay : ( !!! anyways…other than having sore feet…today seems pretty good…first hour, it was fun talking to mrs. Gunn…since the sophomores were all taking the NRT, there were only 3 seniors and we just spent the time talking to her about school and the gay things that schools in broward county do…then we actually had to do work… but it was good because she allowed us to review the test and go over the answers and such…so I’m kind of expecting to ace that test *smiles*… second hour…hahaz…NO SECOND HOUR…NO AP CALCULUS….yippee ^_^ lunch was fun…although I was shivering because I was an idiot and wore a skirt when it was chilly outside…we had to sit outside in the bench since the library was closed. And I ate today…may and I shared a salad… third hour….sooo sooo boring…but we watched a little documentary on Elizabeth I so that was nice…it was some relax time from those gay Socratic discussions *super smiles* fourth hour…test…seemed okay…fact of life: prexl’s class always simply suck…oh how I hate that class…can’t wait to take the final and ADIOS!! afterschool…may and I went to tutor for NHS…felt bad that I wasn’t being all “leadership” quality since I didn’t remember geometry and simply felt too lazy to tutor anyone….just wanted that stupid tutoring hour for the quarter…may and I had fun just talking and laughing away…goodness, that girl is such a good friend. She is soo hilarious, like no other I’ve ever met….no one kisses “grandchildren” or goes smoochie smoochie for everyone..it’s always so much fun and full of giggles… after tutoring…hong came to pick me up and she took may home also… there was a stupid lady at may’s gate so was taking forever…she seriously didn’t know how to punch in numbers on the pad…well hong’s honking and may actually putting down the window to scream at the lady.. it was full of laughs… now…I’m trying to figure out what to wear to the silver knights interview tomorrow…pant suit? Or skirt? I bought a skirt and I feel more comfortable in a skirt…but then andrea is wearing a pant suit and we’re supposed to be all “professional” and business-like that I think everyone will show up in business suits so I think I shall wear one too…but then I hate how it feels…I feel all covered and smothered….digusting…someone help me??? later…ahhz, I have a night class today…oh how I hate these night classes….i still need to get directions and find my way to the signature grand …grrr…and find all my items and supplement sheet to bring for the interview tomorrow….so not prepared and sooo scared to be interviewed tomorrow…. | March 9 (continued) | Prom, prom, prom…the prom drama seems to be dwindling…wells not really… I just want to kick Hudsi’s and everyone asses for calling Vanessa “evil” and then saying that it’s all my fault that han is hurt…HELL NO!!! First off…if Vane didn’t want to go w/ him…then should she have to sit there and just be okay with it because he is mad at her??? HELL no…last time I checked…no man should tie any woman down (only perhaps in marriage…but that doesn’t mean she has to do everything to satisfy him)…Second of all… “puppy” asked her on her own so for you stupid people to sit there and still blame me…that’s some freaking bull shiet. Move on, drama’s over…let’s get on with our lives please… prom is supposed to be our fun.. LAST senior event together and right now it seems like it will be a hell ride… Bleh…other than getting pissed off w/ Hudsi and this whole drama in second hour…the rest of the day seems to be okay… I was terribly sleepy though….we ran out of coffee filters in the house and frankly, it was too late to stop for coffee, so I had to go the entire day without caffeine…all I really want to do it crawl into my bed and sleep…I can’t even concentrate on the content to be learned in school…rather I’m trying to tell myself not to fall asleep…therefore, it is quite a waste of a day if I’m not learning anything… Thank goodness I don’t have night class this tonight…it was heaven not having to go to classes last week with spring break…but now, I’m back to the old routine….go to night class…waste my life…come home and sleep…never having time to do homework…pull an all-nighter til 4AM when my body decides to breakdown…however, since I’m sick this week… I haven’t been able to stay up so late at night… I’m falling asleep every minute, and slowly falling behind in my reading for AP Euro..grr Ooo…I went shopping for shoes…little cute black shoes…closed….so that I can wear and be business-like for the silver knights interview…I think I’ll probably have to wear them tomorrow and loosen them so I wont be all blistered on the day of the interview…I can just imagine the pain…. Bleh…I think that’s about it…toodle loo ^_^ | March 9 | I’m so sick…I hate it when I’m sick…I hate the runny nose…I hate the coughing…I hate the sore throat…I hate the disgusting medicine…and I hate having to go to school when I’m sick…daymns… it’s lunch time now…the Ho and I are bored so we’re basically here updating in our little daily rambles... I just want to call home and get Hong to sign me out early…but then I won’t be in school on Thursday, so it won’t look so good if I’m not here two days in a week…GRRR | March 7 | grr…I’m soo sick…sick and tired….woke up this morning and felt like shiet… last night was fun…went down the Miami and met up with Jennifer…then followed her to shawn’s house…it’s been such a long time since I’ve seen him..ever since jen and my 16th birthday party get-together… it was nice to catch up with them and get those updates on everyone at krop..its amazing..i always thought that I would come back to the same wonderful table we had during freshman year…little did I know how people change so quickly… first off….the one smart girl…miss I am better than everyone DROPPEd out of school..i understand it was for money problems but wow…never would have imagined that… then there’s the guy who guy cut his hair… the girl w/ hernose job the casual hookups and so non-innocent things that everyone seems to be doing and being okay with… the I hate K_ _ _ cuz he’s such a jerkoff….first, you tell people not to tell me that you and her are together..just happens I found out from a random person when I came to visit in January…fucking jerk… and I can’t believe I would ever like you…it’s disgusting when I think about it…you think you’re all hot shot…but guess wat? YOU’re DEFINITELY NOT!!!! …I can’t believe you would lie to me…and then ur switching ur top college choice to be w/ her and share an apartment together…that’s sickening!! I’m not even mad at her… she’s just her…however…you’re one disgusting, ugly person inside..how deceiving ur looks are other than that…it was a fun night out…scary drive home…4 AM at night…driving down the ghetto streets of Sheridan off I-95…kind of creepy…but worth it…had to get away… I can’t wait to see everyone at krop’s senior prom…yippee ^_^ | March 6 | everyone is driving me insane…I hate everyone….i need to get away from this place for a while….time to jux get the keys and head off somewhere | March 5 | all of the things that happened this week made me realize one thing….you’re not really that “best friend” I always thought of you to be… I wanted more than anything for you to go to prom and if you hadn’t been so stubborn about going in the first place…maybe the things that happened wouldn’t have happened this week. I was willing (along w/ him) to pay for you to go but you refused if the money came out of our pockets….after questioning you, I saw that you would have gone w/ the “puppy” if he asked you…even thought I promised not to interfere, I didn’t tell may bout it…call it a coincidence that when may was about to hint…he asked her about you…next thing you know….the scheming began and you were going to prom….yippee…great… How WRONG? I believe a real best friend would have told me that he had asked you earlier and you refused him…then maybe I would have known that he would be hurt with you saying “yes” to the other…rather…instead of telling me…his misery is at the fault of mine His “inseparable” best friend even blamed me for it (Boo HOO)…how sorry of me??? I was only thinking of making my freaking “best friend” go to prom…I should be ashame of myself huh? (sarcasm)… Furthermore…what makes it worse is that you weren’t even considering all this….rather you were complaining about your dress….some bestfriend… Also…for you to think that I had some motive behind asking him to go…that’s so terribly wrong…how can you think of me so lowly as to do something like that? Ur constant suspicions only make me wonder rather or not you did want to go w/ him all along but was afraid of hurting me…. I never realized this before until I talked to someone today that when I told you I liked him last year April…it was way before I ever found out about how you two felt towards each other….so maybe the only thing that was holding you back was hurting me??? guess again…I’ve been hurting since the beginning of this senior year Reality is…there is no way I could ever compete with you…he is madly in love with you and no matter what I do and how many times I’m there for him…I will always be the middle man…the one that sits on the sidelines watching everything….before…I was fine with it all…but before long…that hurting feeling was too much to bare and instead of “nagging” to you like I’ve done before…I had to do something else… What happened? I drew back…pushed away…almost ending my friendship with him because if I got away from one, then the pain would go away right?…how foolish of me to think of that…I rather suffer than throw away a good friendship..so I was back….but things were okay because I never saw you guys… So when you question me about why I never said “yes I would want to go with him to prom” when you asked me if I would…think about me not wanting to put myself out there to be hurt (too late for that) and think about the million times I heard people tell me that han and vane are supposed to go to prom together…so dun think that I would ask him because of some secret motive… All I know is that when I think of everything…what have you ever done for me besides get my hopes up and then disappoint me…make fun of my girly ways…hide things from me…be stubborn or the “I wont do this or that if you don’t do this or that” to always get your way…..It’s FREAKING SICKENING…and I know that once I say this…you’ll wish that you moved away and blame yourself….and I wish you wont…I just wished u understand where I’m coming from. I look so highly too you…you’re the greatest friend I’ve had…and even thought I write this… I don’t want to end our friendship…I just wanted to vent…. I’m been stressing out trying to get vane to go to prom…she’s being very stubborn about it all..which I understand is because of a money thing…but we could pay for her ticket and all she has to do is wear her old dress and happy pappy? No..not so simple…vane doesn’t want to go if the ticket is paid for out of someone’s pockets and she claims her dress I not good enough (although I think is absolutely beautiful and would wear it myself if I wasn’t so goddamn tall)…grrr Anyways…like I thought would happen (and no.. I didn’t interfere)…but someone asked vane to go and she said yes….and now some other person isn’t happy and I bare the weight of everyone’s misery…. The musketeero seems so distant and far now… What makes it worse?….i asked han to prom myself (it’s not always the guys job u know)..and once again…I feel “second-best”…it’s possibly even worse than rejection…omg, only if I could tell the both of them everything…if they knew all dat sanjay knew about how I reallie felt then maybe things would b cleared…but surely, it would make everything among us uncomfortable and I rather keep feeling that second best than feel a weird vibe between all of us… So I guess…after trying to get vane to go to prom all week and her finally going…I’m having doubts about going…the drama doesn’t seem to make things fun anymore…maybe ill jux go to krop’s senior prom and skip mine so that my dress doesn’t go to waste… | March 3 | hahahz…. never planned on skipping today…possibly skipping in the morning because of FCAT but not the entire day…then I felt rather lazy and didn’t want to deal w/ prexl’s crap so I stayed home…. it’s wonderful…I guess I am living up my spring break from BCC…hahhaz… slacking off…sleeping until 11…watching 7th heaven reruns…what can be better??? planning to go shopping for shoes later too ^_^…gosh…I wish we never had school. | March 2 | slept until 10…skipped school until 11:30…signed in tardy, supposedly having a doctor’s appointment..school sucked…ap environmental is by far getting on my last nerves… Hudsi came back today…missed having his sarcasm and mean comments around…showed me his prostitute card…so gross…supposedly “whatever happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas…hahaz. Vane thinks he got turned down by a prostitute..that would have been hilarious..Hehez Afterschool….slacked off…Michael and I went to get our hair cuts…my wonderful lady moved so I got stuck w/ some bitchy ass spanish ladies dat freakin think they can talk about me in spanish and I wouldn’t understand??? Guess again bitches…4 years of spanish didn’t go to waste….i understood everything. You shouldn’t look down upon me because he’s my brother…not my son…I’m freakin top of my class, not some whore bag w/ no future ahead of her…I hate people like that…but I guess we’re all at fault of pre-judging in our lifetime…but I also hate how that lady cut my hair…it doesn’t even look like layers…it looks like chunks..i think I could have done a better job to myself w/ my eyes closed… After haircut…hongo and I went to dolphin mall..since it was a free day, I decided to go shopping for something “appropriate” to wear for the silver knights interview…after trying 60 million skirts in 60 million store…the one place I would not think of looking at…I found a beautiful skirt for $5.99…ahahaz…so wonderful…it’s a pretty elegant knee-length skirt…and then I also bought this short black skirt that pretty much would qualify for indecent exposure if I were to spin around in it because its ruffley and flys up…but it was $4 and so adorable so I couldn’t resist ^_^. Now all I need is a matching top for the skirt and shoes for the silver knights interview…yay…MORE SHOPPING!!!! Aftershopping…yummie chicken chalupa went into my tummy…now I’m here on the comp…supposedly starting APEs homework…but haz…here in this journal and chatting away w/ duongie…when will I learn? | March 1 | happy MaRCH!! Ahhz…this week is going to be sooo much fun and relaxing….first…it’s spring break for BCC so I don’t have to worry and stress out for night classes. Then it’s also FCAT this week so in first hour is extended and since I have AP world history first hour and Mrs. Gunn is proctoring…we’re stuck with siflinger until 11:30…I kind of have him for third hour so there is really no point in going to school in the morning…therefore, on Tuesday and Wednesday, I plan to have a “doctor’s appointment” in the morning..Hehez. Bleh…I’m really tired right now but for some reason I can’t fall asleep. I should be doing some homework but I feel like slacking. A while ago, I was watching grandpa’s funeral with mother and father. Great Uncle Re just brought the videotape over and we watched it….the ceremony was beautiful. I thought it was great how everyone was there on both nights and just so helpful. They made everything so simply beautiful. It was sad… just really hit that grandpa is gone and I never had the chance to meet him. I saw where he was buried and it was cute how he was next to grandma…goodness, I wish I did have a chance to meet my grandparents….even with grandma from daddy’s side living with us now, I still can’t really speak to her…there’s so much I don’t know. Like when we were watching the videotape, mother was naming all of our aunts, uncles, cousins, and etc…and I had no clue I had soo many relatives…I just really hope I do have a chance to go to Vietnam this summer and finally meet everyone…fill in that empty “Vietnamese-ness” inside me… | February 29 | lalala…so much to do…bet you $1 million that I will slack off today? anyone want to take me up on that???……no one, eh? Why is that? Oh…because I became the senior with senioritis…ahhhz….wells at least I did the banners for science club…that was fun ^_^ anyways…I see another Sunday staying up late, catching up on homework and cursing myself for not doing anything the entire weekend | February 28 | work work work….it’s so nice…it seemed slow today but according to daddy, we did well ^_^… after workie…went over to vane’s house w/ Michael…han was there…vane and him were reading the Bible together…han developed an interest in Christianity…it feels weird listening to all of it but I don’t cares…I spent the time there using her cable computer to finish my fafsa…then afterwards…Michael wanted to play “paraques” (or at least I think that’s the name) which was a spanish board game…of course mrs. Vane and her strategy was kickin our asses and she calls herself my friend while sending me back to jail TWO TIMEs…tsk tsk…but I’m sure we would have won if Michael didn’t get so tired and wanted to go home… | February 26 | skipped theatre class again…omg, I’m such a slacker… and still…even with the so called skipping so I can catch up on work…it’s freaking 3:44 AM and I’m still here typing up my DBQ for AP euro…and I also have this major “midterm” type of a test and the information just doesn’t want to stay within this head of mine….GRRRR….so frustrated | February 23 | okiez...yes...sometime's i'm just a "true dork" (cindy's words as i describe to her what happened today...)...normally people wouldn't get all sad and stuff...but i did...i dunnoes. i just felt like i wasn't being appreciated and that the officers didn't want me to do anything in the club anymore...so when i saw that they gave the job of making banners and flyers to someone else...*sadness*....i know they were doing it because they felt like i had too much to handle but i love making banners and helping out with Science NHS as much as i can even without having that officer title...plus, its a good activity to put into my Silver Knights Form...so anyways...after telling henry and lawrence dat i was mad at them...everything was fixed and i got my "banner-making job" back...yipppeee!!! hahaz....(spoken like a true nerd ^_^) | February 22 | serious serious serious SENIORITIS.....it's not even funny anymore. i woke up around 1 today....went downstairs...ate....watched dat vietnamese video that mother told me to watch....i never realized all the successful vietnamese people we have, from assistant attorney generals, to mayors, to doctors, to newscastors, and etc....it made me kinda proud to be a viet...hahaz. then the entire day....i tried to do one essay for the scholarships but became frustrated with the computer so i gave up and resorted to writing it by hand....doing any type of work on my bed=quick way to fall asleep...before i knew it...the entire day was wasted and now i think i hav to pull a freaking 4AM kind of all nighter to finish my APWH DBQ, reading & studying for APEH, reading & studying for APWH, hajj pajj integration practice for AP cal...and those gay oil calculations for APES....grrr...why have i become such a slacker??? | February 21 | o lordiez…the drama that exists in life…so freaking annoying… first off…we invite you to Cindy’s birthday dinner…either you come or you don’t…..(but most likely…ur asses had to come because it is Cindy and she would do anything in the world for you guys…from doing ur AA page to always having your back no matter what idiotic things we all may do…)…instead of choosing to come…you had to go on and require specification on who was attending the dinner…who gives a rotten ass that she was going also…so what if you guys don’t like each other…all I know is that Cindy loves both of you guys with her deepest of hearts and if more than anything…those two of her girls had to be with her at her birthday dinner…so all I asked was to put aside the drama…there was no reason for the drama in the first place…it was a celebration for a wonderful sister name Cindy…and you had to go ahead and turn it into a stupid soap opera…why fuckin thank you??? thank you to YOU for being an idiot and thank you to our customers for making me and hong work so late at night that we had to cancel on the dinner all together….instead…there were happy moments at Wendy’s and then buying some new goldfishies at wal-mart….*smiles* Michael and I hav friends…Hahaz (so I guess I can thank you for that because if you didn’t ruin the night…I would have never thought to buy goldfishies at wal-mart….) so after going home and introducing the fishies to mother and father…we were informed that we couldn’t keep it due to this Buddhist thing and reincarnation of my grandfather who recently passed away….we would have to wait another 49 days to have goldfishies…so those five little fishies…3 bright orange ones for the girls and 2 dark grayish ones for the boys….will be going to someone else….take care of them… after all that ordeal….hong decided she didn’t want to stay home tonight…so Michael, her, and I went to see a movie at Regals..it was 12 AM and we went to see “You Got Served” ….which I thought would have been a stupid “bring it on” type of movie but it was truly a good movie…I liked it…it was amazing how those guys/girls danced in that movie….i wish I could “shake it up” like that (may’s words for dancing)…hehez now I’m home….can’t really fall asleep..wells actually, I’m not letting myself fall asleep because I have much to do that I want to begin now….i plan to begin on my 5 different Asian scholarship essays after this…we’ll see how that goes…then tomorrow, I wanted to immediately get my dress altered but bleh…I got DBQ’s for both AP world history and AP European history…and then I have tests in all of these classes in which I really do need to get my act together and start cramming or else I’ll be screwed…and then I also have much homework and research studies to do along with the tests…goodness, the vigor these ap teachers have to give us work, work, work….someone please shoot me now | February 20 | HAPPY BIRTHDAY CINDY VAN!!! I hope you have a wonderful 17th birthday…you deserve everything that’s coming you’re way. in one year, you have changed so much and its all for the better…you became interested in school and caring of your GPA…staying up late and doing homework…cleaning up w/o me yelling at you to do so…handling everything with patience and being content where others would wear frowns…you’re such an amazing girl and I’m so proud to have you as my sister…Happy Birthday darling. The real surprise comes tomorrow ^_^ !!! Possibly better than the present hunt and clues… School was rather bleh…last night I really didn’t get much accomplished….so I came to school basically unprepared…the only reason I really even go to school is for AP World History because Mrs. Gunn stresses attendance and participating in class…so yea…today was bleh. Didn’t do much in any of my classes… I missed 3rd hour today for my Silver Knights Luncheon and “mock interviews”…of which I cried…I feel stupid in a way. Everyone else did so well in their interview, talking about their category…being able to answer all their subject-related question, and discussing their programs/community service…where as I….fell into tears…Why? Because Dr. Shaulis told us to introduce ourselves and begin talking about why we love our subject…and basically, I love Science and became interested in it ever since I was young because of Quy. Many people may not know…(which was why I started to cry in my interview discussing this)….but my little brother (Quy) is physically and mentally handicapped…and when I was 8 years old, I remember my parents taking Quy to Denver, Colorado for a medical research/study program and saying this program would be able to help Quy. My parents told me that when they came back, Quy would be able to walk and talk and basically be that normal brother I could play freeze tag or run around with….but when they came back from Denver…Quy was still the same…don’t get me wrong and all…I love Quy no matter what…but I just wanted him to have a chance to live life and be that little happy child…so ever since then…I knew that I wanted to be a Pediatrician…to help little kids and work with studies and researches for cures or treatments that would allow other kids like my brother the chance to experience their childhood and grow up…. So after talking or at least getting a few words like that out into the open…with Dr. Shaulis and Mr. Frasier next to me…as well as all the other Silver Knights candidates around the table in front of me…it was quite hard…something that I never really let out into the open…I began to talk and tears started to flow…then afterwards…it was over, I couldn’t talk anymore. I never got to talk about my programs and community service activities…so I feel kind of bad…and I hope others didn’t think that I talked about my little brother for those extra “brownie points” or for sympathy because I didn’t say what I said for that…he is really the main reason I would ever want to pursue something within the medical field…especially helping little kids…. So after the interview…I just thought about all those opportunities that I’ve missed throughout my life to pursue my medical career..first off, that wonderful medical research program the University of Texas Medical center offered me…I never went…then when they invited me to the Youth Medical of America League…I never had the chance to go and experience the hand’s on experience of being in all different areas of the medical world…it’s just amazing how I basically even gave up human anatomy honors and joining HOSA organization in my school just so I can be valedictorian…it makes no sense now that I sit and think about it. being valedictorian is for one day….and having those experiences in something that I plan to do in the future would have been a much more significant and powerful impact on my life than wow, “you’re #1”… Grr Anyways….Cuc and Nga came over since they brought a birthday cake for Cindy…we sang and ate cake…it was yummie…then enjoyed many laughs over how Cuc beat up this annoying girl and Nga’s joke over tipping cows…it was hilarious Then vane came over to help me fill out my UF Housing Application…by the way…I FINALLY got my acceptance letter…I was getting all worried that I really didn’t get in because I only received word from an email rather than from an actual tangible notice…I thought that possibly my email address was mixed with another that was accepted…the paranoia…so now I’m relieved and on my way there… I felt bad lying to mother…she still thinks I’m living in an off-campus apartment whereas I’m actually applying for on-campus dormitory for the first year… Bleh bleh bleh…. there’s not much to ramble about now…it’s really late and I should sleep for work tomorrow….but I still need to write Cindy’s 5-page birthday letter…so leaving now…love, trangi | February 19 | arg...why can`t we be normal? we have known about both each other`s existence for a very long time now...and yet...why aren`t we normal? what exactly is normal??? wells i can tell you that normal isn`t looking away once we both catch each other`s eyes, talking only when it comes to homework, never saying hi or acknowledging each other`s presence, pretending we don`t know each other, and it`s definitely not knowing each other`s parents and basically one`s entire life story and NEVER talkin to the other...it`s just so weird... | February 17 | skipped 3rd & 4th hour today….first, because I reallie did not study for my AP euro chapter 17 quiz and I knew we would have it today….and also, I rather stay home and study for APES chapter 14 test than listen to mr. Prexl and his pointless notes….so hong-o signed me out early…while I was waiting in the officer for her to come during lunch, they had the prom papers and everything…and that little spot where there needs to be an escort signature just basically is blank to me…I need a prom date. I really want a prom date….anyone want to take me please? (and I’m not the gold digger of a girl that would make you guys pay…I understand how hard it is for you guys to make your money and for me to take it away would be wrong…so I would pay my own way, no ifs and buts)…I JUST NEED A DATE PLEASE!!! I kinda sound desperate….I’m not. I just want to spend prom with someone that’s fun while everyone else is with their other half. anyways, Hong took me home….we made this big lunch and watched Amanda Bynes movie, “what a girl wants”….simply cute and adorable…cried many times…I love the it… then I knocked out sooo many times… and I just got done studying for AP euro….now there’s ap environmental and ap world history to go through….GRRR… but I’m taking a break….need one….i already drank coffee so I expect to pull an all nighter…bleh bleh bleh…time to update AA page…bye lovelies…Hehez | February 16 | yippee! no school ^_^ Hehez…I thought I would sleep in today since I stayed up late last night dying vane’s hair to that reddish-purple color and then coming home to remake my entire room since I just bought a beautiful white bookshelf to tidy myself up a little bit more. (very anal retentive….ahahz) so now everything in my room is nice and neat and just so “homey” and supposedly in hong’s words “girly.” But sure….father and mother called me up this morning…really early….and for what???? to take some freaking pictures of their garden!!!!! OMG…my parents are turning freaking oldies on me, worrying about their precious flowers and expecting me to wake up early to take pictures of their bong mai….oh my lordiez… other than that…woke up and basically slacked off until hong came home from her BCC class and we went to sawgrass to buy my dress….my decision came down to the ivory dress…hopefully there will be no “stains” or etc that prom day…Hahaz. afterwards….came home and basically knocked out….daddy woke me up to take me to my BCC class but he had to leave at 5 and my class didn’t start until 7….and then I would have to wait until 10 to come home with Hong since her class doesn’t end til then…the drag of not having a car…so I decided that instead of wasting my 5 hours away for a One hour class…I would just skip it…. senioritis is hitting me big time…like as of rite now, it is 1:20 AM and I should be off studying for one of my classes or doing some of the homework that I neglected to do this weekend but I’m here typing away in this journal…it’s a shame…I hate myself for having senioritis but I can’t help it. I’m not interested or willin to push myself further into studies…I really just want to have fun I was talking to my old friend Sara from Krop and it just made me think about everyone back there and how it’s been such a long time since I’ve talked to them…most importantly, my SHAWNZIE POOH…where have you BEEN???? I cant wait til the school stress ends and I can have more fun and see everyone at krop before our senior year ends and everyone goes their separate ways…btw…congrats do Chris on your engagement…I can’t believe I had to find out from someone else rather than You…good luck on everything Okies….now its time for me to stop slacking and get on back to work…..Hahaz, I bet everyone that I will fall asleep within a minute of reading my AP Euro book…ZZZZZZ | February 15 | hong and I went to sawgrass mills mall today with a mission…to find myself a prom dress…and WE DID!! I found a beautiful tubey, poofy dress at Group USA and it’s just simply amazingly beautiful…the problem was….i didn’t know what color I wanted. It was between a tannish, coffee colored with white or ivory with gold…it was just too too hard…therefore, I called my wonderful Vanessa Pineda and had her come to sawgrass and we even went home to pick up Cindy…all of us went to Sawgrass and back into Group USA ….yet, still stumped on the color. I didn’t think white would be a good color for prom. Because white is usually for like weddings and etc…but for prom, wasn’t quite sure? So yea…I even had the ppl in the store try to pick a color. Many people went for the ivory and truly, I wanted ivory also but for some reason, cindy’s opinion always gets stuck to me. Cindy liked the coffee colored one more so that gave me my doubts. In the end, I asked them to hold onto both dresses so that I can bring more people tomorrow to help me figure out which dress color to pick….Hehez, I’m just so happy I found my dress..it’s simple, but elegant. I love it!! *smiles* | February 14 | HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY everyone….to all those lovebirds out there…you suck. Hehez…just kidding. I’m only “jealous” because I just happened to be lonely this year…but its okay, being single isn’t so bad…want a prom date though….anyone free on the 7th of may to take me ???? PLEASE???? (don’t make me beg? J/k) today=worked, worked, worked,…very busy and quite insane with the customers…some I wanted to strangle…others I wished would leave…but in the end…mucho money makes it all worthwhile…but yea, all that mucho money ends up going into parent’s fund… afterwork….called vane…our plans were to dye han’s hair and then see “along came polly” at midnite…but we all decided to have a “streaking” party..han’s highlights came out reallie nice. I did vane’s and they came out nice just one spot happens to be much more blondish than the others…but she plans to dye it purple so the blonde was only meant to lighten her hair for the purple dye…they somehow convinced me to do highlights….came out nice *thank you vane* instead of blond highlights, they are more reddish-orangish…hope mother doesn’t kill me…. home now…itz 3:21 AM…can’t sleep… oh yea…I went upstairs to my room after work and there was this great big bag for valentines…ahahz…HONG coffee cup I wanted with the little stuff animal, two of my fave teddy bear statues, pukka keychain, two wonderfully cute hello kitty pencils, more babu stationary, picture frame, hand sanitizer, and a hello kitty stamp roller…AHHZ…it was all the goodies that I wanted and pointed out to hong…never thinking she would get them all for me….I LOVE HONG ending…valentine’s sucked..maybe because I don’t have a loved one to share it with…duongie called….but I don’t know what we are so its weird…we talked but I think he got mad because I was out with vane and han that he said he had to go….tried to call him back but he didn’t pick up… I think that’s all the rambling for now. I going to try and see if I can go back to bed…99z and sweet dreams ppl…even though everyone is in their REM sleep time…grr…I envy you guyz | February 13 | I just noticed a while ago that it was Friday the 13th….woke up with fog and everything..creepy? should I be careful? Bleh… valentine roses/balloons were delivered…success…everything was great. Although mr. Pennel was a grouch, we sure got a kick out of mrs. Hawkins “he and I perfected integration”….woot hoot. Hahaz. afterschool…sent out duong’s valentine present…hope he likes it. and if he doesn’t, he can just kiss my ass ^_^ now….bored…waiting for quy to come home and take care of him…then hit the sack…no telling what time I will wake | February 12 | afterschool…craziness prevailed. Balloons everywhere…string all over. 3 ballons escaping…hazardous conditions when driving because we can’t see anything with all the balloons…it was simply, insane. It was even more insane when we had to put everything together. But it all worked out. In our own little groups, each person took a job like an assembly line…although it did take 3 hours or so…things would have never been done if we had done everything during fourth hour. So basically…deliver tomorrow and this valentines sale is over baby. Hahaz…. I was late to bcc class today because of the balloons thing….i would have skipped altogether but we had a test….i hate those tests…even if they are open book type tests…she basically copies sentences from the book and takes out a couple of missing words and we have to look through the 100 pages and find the exact sentence and fill in those freakin exact words…it was simply gay. I couldn’t find one and all I wanted to do was go home so I made it up. oh well, I just hope I get the others right…. Went home…aunt and uncle were over…parents decided to have a little dinner thing…everyone was eating and enjoying themselves while I come home so tired and sleepy…end up eating alone….i cried…it’s just so sad to know that I can’t even participate in family dinners or such because I am in school…is school going to be my entire life??? *tears* | February 11 | stressed…annoyed….i wanna stop. I cry every nite because I dun get enough sleep. I always feel so sick. I gave up my social life and basically my family life altogether. I have new little war of pimples going on my face. I never have time for anything. With the little free time I do have, I choose to write here. But other than that…I really want to just end it all now. I know…its only 3 months away…but can I really survive it all?? | February 10 (continued) | I’m going to have a new baby BROTHER!!! YES, it’s a BOY!!! | February 10 | life is great….i’m getting used to my classes….doing well so far I think. However, I have the greatest feeling that a B will find its way onto my report card…need to get myself ready for that one…Hehez the valentine’s sales are going great….sold 124 rose & balloon sets already….only 20 more to go baby. Hopefully we will be done with the sales tomorrow and everything will be set and in order to go. Hip hip horray! bleh bleh bleh…I swear…the lack of sleep or whatever has caused me to loose all interest in really writing anything important within this. This reallie is supposed to be a day to day ranting, reflecting, sharing, and etc…but these last few entries kinda suck…sorriez to the readers…ahahz… (I make it sound like ppl actually read this). Anyways…need to get back into studying mode. 99z and sweet dreamz everyone. Luv, trang | February 7 | yippeeeeee….i got accepted to the University of Florida…I’m a GATOR now!!!  now that I’m accepted…I’m sad…I should be happy like others to finally receive word of acceptance but knowing that UF wants me only takes me one step closer to growing up and leaving… soon I’ll have to be independent when I never ever left home before…NOT EVEN for a sleepover!!! I’ll be forced to cook my own food or gain hundreds of pounds from fastfood. I wont have my parents to nag me or siblings to make a mess for me to clean up…although these things would push a normal person away…they have me enthralled to never leaving and staying HOME forever. I already know that ill b homesick the minute I step into the car with friends and travel my butt to UF…but I guess I hav no choice..it’s now or never. it’s funny…before my plans were to go to UT (texas) and that’s within a whole different state…I never had a problem of going away but then during senior year…as reality comes into check…I knew for sure I wont be able to leave…so for now…UF is my choice….but definitely…being in a whole different part of florida for 4 years will brace me for leaving to Texas for medical school…ahhz…I think I’m going to cry =’( | February 6 | whoot hoot….straight A’s baby…Hahaz…disappointed though…got a B+ on my english final….but I guess that doenst matter since those exam grades don’t know up on our transcripts and such… today was a good day…I guess so anywayz….nothing reallie happened….it was just good…kind of stressed out though…there’s tons of homework and then our valentine sales are coming up next week…I need to get those balloons ordered and ready…AHHHZ!!! So stressed that I don’t even want to think about it…all I want to do is to go Abercrombie and shop….my new must haves:   | February 5 (continued) | how is it that i don`t really know you, yet you can pass judgements on me? i always thought u were a nice, sweet person. we never seemed to have any trouble...i used to poke fun of you when u constantly copied pre-cal homework from ur friends...but other than that, it was all fun and games...never thought u had that hate or “whatever you feel like calling it” towards me. but i was wrong....you told my friends i "lied" to you when i technically did not. you were the one that invaded my privacy by looking onto my information behind me and then telling the entire class about it....i never confirmed nor denied....i remained silent...and that is registered as a lie??? then you tell them that i`m not a "proper" girl because i shared food at a dinner...supposedly, “sharing with many guys”,??? first off...hudsi and i were not hungry...so we decided to split something to eat...he just happened to order something i really didnt like so i asked around to see what everyone else had so that i can order again and now i`m improper??? kiss my freaking ass...then…you also must add in that I don’t deserve to be ranked 1…why? What makes you think I haven’t worked hard to be where I am? Do you really think I cheated my way through everything??? Let’s just remember that you mister would ask for the biology tests, meanwhile I worked my ass off in biology, being in her first hour and never knowing the short answers in advance like so many others…and I made it out all on my own…so when you say that I don’t deserve to be where I am…think again…you don’t even know me. You don’t even know what I have to go through just to remain where I am. So the next time you decided to say something about me...get your facts straight...and know that when you are talking about me...its derived from your insecurity about yourself. you`re not hurting me...you actually bring me laughter...in turn, you’re just hurting urself. i never did anything to you. i always wanted to be your friend but you chose this path...and however things come about...know that you were WRONG in doing what you did… sorriez…just talked to one of my friends and found some not so good information being passed about me….just needed to vent for a while | February 5 | Hehez…skipping theatre class….too lazy…I’ll just get the notes from niren or something….bleh, I’m so tired….i think I will go take a nappie…99z… | February 4 | HUNNIE lied to me….GRRR…you suck | February 3 | ahhhhz…..school is sooo frustrating….i think today is much of a laxer though….my classes are driving me insane. They are fun…interesting….but there just never seems to b enough time for me to actually become intrigued with the material that I just go into overload…if dat all makes sense??? bleh….everything was fine and dandy today. I was freaking out over a quiz but then siflinger said “you all get 100%s” …^_^ smiles of course…he said we get 100s in like everything….i just wished I would learn to participate and talk more in his class…it would earn me much needed extra credit points…. bugallo and I went to bookkeeper today…we got the roses finally…yippee….144 silk roses to sale. This is technically my very first organized fundraiser sale and this must go very smoothly….i hope it does anyhow. After this….that’s all. I’m taking a break from all those officer activities because technically I’m not an officer. Sad huh??? bleh bleh bleh…it’s nice to sit there and not freak out over homework and such…I should though because I do have an AP world history test….but then again….mrs. gunn basically showed us the tests so we know the answers….all I must do is work and memorize the essays…Hehez, itz like going back to 9th grade villuci’s world history honors class and memorizing the esssays….ahhz, how I miss the easy years of early highschool. I’m basically just rambling on about so and so….there’s nothing really much to say….oh yea….my hunnie…where the hell is he???? He came here….but then the number he’s staying at is supposedly disconnected and then his cell phone is broken….when will I talk to him and get to see him???? if ur reading this u loser of a hunnie….please call me???? *wink* Hahaz….love u anh. | February 1 | my hunnie, sugah-daddie is here…. called from a 305 number…suspicious…didn’t believe him…still in shock…just out of nowhere and hunnie is in Miami…I want to go see him but sooo much homework. Hopefullie, we can go see each other this week…. he’s here for two weeks…does that include valentines??? It better or else I’ll make him change his flight. Hehez…I love you hunnie. *Smiles, smiles, and more smiles* | January 31 | happy birthday may ho and ty!!! Bleh…just came home from workie…rather bored…I want to go see a movie although I have lots of homework to do….i want to see win a date w/ tad Hamilton. It just looks so cute….bleh. possibly next weekend. Off to do some homework…. | January 30 | surprise surprise may ho….Hehez….we schemed and we would have almost surprised the dork if it weren’t for han and Vanessa parking right in front of tho and may. *shakes head…*Hehez….yupz. may’s birthday is tomorrow but tho called and wanted to do a little birthday dinner thing for her. Thank goodness he called because I was having a real problem finding his number and trying to concoct something for her birthday. Plus, with the stress I’m in, I would have never been able to pulled off a nice dinner for her. So yea….we planned for a dinner at Bahama’s Breeze at 8…Hehez…the entire day may was talking about how she thinks tho was up to something and then how she raided his house to find plans and etc etc….Hahaz…all along, everyone was planning around her. So yea….vane and han and I met up at the mall since they had to do their last minute shopping for may. I bought her two pink shirts and her “grandchildren” but I decided to get her some of here antibacterial thing…then when we were done…I left first to go to Bahama’s breeze to save a table but Christine was there first. We waited…waited…then I get a call from Han… “trang your going to kill us…” why??? Because those two love birds of idiots parked right in front of may…although they tried to play it out and say they were going to office deport (there is no office depot…rather an office max)….but no, may caught on for sure. Eventually, may and tho crept up from behind the back somewhere and surprised Christine and i. We still waited for the table when may opened her presents…then at the table…we all ordered and shared. It was yummy and full of constant laughter. Possibly one of the best dinners ever…with memorable dies of laughter. Hehz…wells, then the night ended and may and I still didn’t take our picture…grrr, right may? Hahaz. Oh wells, time to head to bed…99z and sweet dreamz. | January 28 | ahhhz……I’m still number one baby…..thought I was going to loose it this semester since she had 3 APs and I only had one…but hey baby….5.0566 GPA and still there…..*all smiles* | January 27 | ahhz…I love Mr. Frasier. I love that I got nominated for silver knights and finally was able to meet mr. Frasier….Hahaz…I hav connections. While everyone was waiting and signing in to get a schedule change with lines stretching as far as the eye could see (exaggerating)….i walked right through…said I was there for silver knights and just squeezed into mr. Frasier’s time to have myself a schedule change ----out of AP US history….into AP World History….this so better be worth it. Sean said it was a good class and less busy work than Gibson was giving so hopefully I do well *A A A A * Hehez… wellz…need to really finish my silver knights portfolio…toodles | January 26 | first day of second semester…new classes….sucks ass…. 1. AP US History 2. AP Calculus BC 3. AP European History 4. AP Environmental Science so basically to conclude….the rest of senior year…up until the final week of ap exams….may 11 for me….will SUCK!!! Senioritis is here….and I’m piling up with these 4 APs in school, along with 2 BCC Dual Enrollment classes…. I think I will be switching AP US History for AP World History…they are still stupid history classes…requiring a bunch of reading but at least World History won’t have all the “busy” work that Mrs. Gibson is giving us…..and then Sean is also there to entertain me ^_^ Looking at my schedule…I believe the class that I can actually slack off with is AP Environmental Science. I believe that will be my easiest class….Hehez On the good note…I found out that I was the only one in AP Calculus to get an A on the final exam….whoopee:P right now…I should be doing my AP US History h.w…but oh yeah…I’m terribly sleepy…coffee is wearing off and I’m still too tired from reading for AP European History… And exactly what time is it? 3.09 A.M. Just why am I subjecting myself to this kind of torture…I don’t know…this is all supposed to be a challenge…but not going to having 2 hours of sleep only…that’s far from the norm for me….arg…I should get off now and try to do as much as I can before I fall asleep..99z and sweet dreamz people with lives… | January 21 | just got home from visiting mr. Garrison…cant wait to go back and see him….perhaps probably because I will get a hello kitty clip board for free??? Hhahaz….yea. I’m kind of psycho. wellz….ap government exam was pretty easy…it was a class/teacher evaluation survey kind of thing….i loved that class and that’s all I can say. I’m so going to miss seeing mr. Jiminez and his psycho smurf theories in first hour. then the calculus exam…she decided that she was going to give us all multiple choice..Yippee….that seemed decent…her catch?? We would not be allowed to use the TI-83….rather we use those weird scientific calculators….normally, I wouldn’t mind. But those school scientific calculators SUCK! I wished she would have told us a head of time..i would have brought my own calculator…those casio ones with a display screen so I can see what I’m typing…rather than those gay ones the school offers. Bleh…the exam for some reason…didn’t seem so hard…but I cant say anything because ill end up jinxing myself. afterschool…we sold pizzas….han, Jeffrey, and I managed the booth at the student parking lot. Luckily Donald was nice enough to come help us. He handled the money while I handed out the pepperoni pizza. Han and Jeffrey handled the cheese pizza. It was amazing…we sold out so quickly…YAY… even when we did sell out, people came asking for more…I guess we will order more for tomorrow most definitely. Hehez…:P the other booth in the bus area sold out in like 2 minutes. When we were done,we just cleaned up and counted the money. for some reason when Lawrence counted the money, we came up $10 short but then carmem counted it up and apparently Lawrence just forgot one of those big bills…I swear, we’re ap cal students and we cant count. Hehez. Bleh hong came to pick me up and we headed to Miami to see mr. Garrison. I just saw him last week when hong signed me out early on Thursday to get some scholarship information from him. he’s so hilarious. He bsed the recommendation so much that I couldn’t breathe after he read what he wrote about me. it sounded so nice yet so fake at the same time. Hehez….furthermore, I asked him to sign me hours from all those times that I’ve helped him so I can put into for silver knights and I was expecting…u know 60 hours??? Yet, mr. Wonderful garrison signed me 215 hours. AHHHZ…made me sooo freaking happy. Hehez. But yea…that’s besides the point. I just went and hanged out with him and his class. he’s so mean to them…he makes them stand and screams that them…but I don’t blame him because some of them really needs some discipline. I just find it really funny sometimes how he uses soo much sarcasm into screaming at these kids. Furthermore, he started to talk in third person… “the MIKE”…hahahz…he thinks hes the rock now and he even makes that face..hahaz…I love mr. Garrison. The best and greatest teacher ever…only if he could perhaps write my speech for valedictorian or introduce me. Hehez. after seeing mr. Garrison, hong and I did some shopping. I found the cutest gift bag to put may’s present in….now I need to find the ACTUAL present. Hahaz. I’m going backwards I guess. I bought the bag for myself also and two picture frames for future dorm room seeing how ill need many many many pictures of my family if I’m expected to leave from them…:( after that….we went to walmart to make some copies. This lady didn’t know what she was doing with that machine and ijust wanted to knock her out. Luckily hong was there and had patience to help her. We got rid of her quickly and made our copies….ready in an hour? Yippe….how I LOVe Walmart :P now im home….really should study for ap environmental exam….chapters 1-12….but the senioritis seems to be prevailing at the moment…. I have theater class tonight at BCC…grr…we have a test. Open book and open notebook baby…that class seems to be such a BS class….easy A I hope…since we’re taking a test, she might let us leave right after we finish. I hope so, that way I can leave realy early and pick up my pictures from walmart….then get some much needed work done….silver knights portfolio…. Bleh…nappy time before bcc class ^_^ | January 20 (continued) | ahhhz…its like 10 now and I’m so worried about thiscalculus final. Hudsi just took me home a while ago from studying in the library. Hong dropped me off but then she needed the car so Hudsi said he would take me home. When hong took me there, I saw Hudsi and Natalie walking out…they were about to leave me to go to McDonalds….so I just followed. Natalie and Hudsi ate….*memorable….Hudsi being a klutz and dropping his McChicken and then water all over himself…* after mickeys, we went back to the library and studied…we got some things cleared and figured out some of our mistakes but I still feel somewat unprepared. I think I will be up really late tonight doing problems from the barrons AP book and then those sample examinations that mrs. Hawkins gave us….all I know is that I’m at a borderline…89 or something and if I don’t get an A on the exam or in her class…I might as well take PE next semester because I will never ever get my rank back…. GRRRRRRR…the stress … | January 20 | back in school…this week is going to be the best. First off…we had Monday off. Today was a waste of class time because it was all meant for reviewing in which we never EVER review. Then Wednesday and Thursday are for finals…then Friday off…this should be an easy and happy week. Hehez. school was a breeze today. didn’t reallie do anything. Although I had a chapter 12 test for APEs…didn’t study and same goes for the objective part for english…I’m getting so so not trang…. Afterschool, we had a meeting for pizza sales for Science NHS…it seems to all be in order. The 6 officers and then me “unofficial” person are putting in $20 each to buy pizzas and then we will pay ourselves back. I hope we do sell out tomorrow. That will be awesome. Everything seems to be in order and hopefulllie my first organized fundraising activity will do well. :) right now…I’m feeling rather lazy. I know I should be studying for AP Calculus but for some reason im not in the mood to study. I think itz called senioritis??? Hehez….bleh. it doesn’t matter. I’m going to the library to study with Hudsi at 6…. Yay…1 and half for a nappie. ^_^ bye. | January 19 | itz dr. martin luther king jr.’s birthday today and that means NO SCHOOL!!! Hehez….wells we were supposed to go looking for my wonderful & beautiful civic today at the Honda dealerships but then parents were too beat because of the funeral preparations and then since new years is this Thursday, we have to have one of those new year parties to quaoi for may ong me…so yea, those plans were cancelled. But I really don’t care. I remember over the summer when I would cry because mother and father refused to get me a car…..CRY?? how stupid and selfish I was? Bleh…it reallie doenst matter anymore. life comes with sacrifices. Althought It would be nice sometimes to have a car and leave BCC early rather than waiting 3 extra hours for hong’s class to be over with, I’m okay with it all. Wehave to look at everything positively anywyas…. eh…mother and father went to thai an and vinh an again….buying food and stuff so we can have that little small new years party. I should get started on some APES h.w……tooddlies | January 18 | woke up…daddy called screaming with all these errands to do for ong ngoais dam…meanwhile I’m just exhausted…. went home after a while….did some homework and then han came over to pick me up for the snhs officer meeting. Im techinically not even supposed to be there but bleh. I do just as much as an officer. We met henry at Atlantic bread and discussed how we were going to do the pizza sales. And etc. after two hours of deliberating and laughin at each other….vane took me to cau quangs house for the dam. I got there in time for the praying. It was a lot longer than the previous nights. The relatively close family to ong ngoai, we had to wear these white pieces of clothes while we pray and they would be burned later. I’m still not sure why we do that. I plan to ask mother later but she was crazy with things to do in preparation of today so I never did get the chance. Anyways….after praying, hong and I went home because quy was home. after getting sick of being home and I was feeling rather productive, hong took me to walmart (getting too lazy to drive these days) so I could buy the poster boards and paint to make the posters for pizza sales. I spent the rest of the night finishing those posters and the parents came home. They all ate and then uncle kinh brought cau trung home and they spent the time talking. There’s reallie nothing much to say about today. it was just all very busy and I should be getting off soon since everyone in the house is beat and wanting to fall asleep…complaining that my typing is way too loud. Hehez. 99z ^_^ | January 17(continued…) | went to work today….wells half day. The other half I drove mother to vinh an and thai an to buy stuff for grandpa’s dam. Tonite we’re going to cau quangs house to pray again. I jux got a phone call from cau trung and he told me to tell father that he was coming from Chicago and he needed someone to pick him up from the airport. Most likely hong and I will go pick him up because they need dad and cau Quang at the service. Just hopefully I remember how to get to fort Lauderdale airport since I went with vane last time…although I did fall asleep. Bleh. just being bored and waiting til its time to go over to cau quang’s house. I don’t know. I’m sad that grandpa is gone and I never ever got to meet him. yet I’m not crying or anything…is that wrong? Or is it because I just don’t know him well enough to cry? I don’t understand. I think I should be crying whether or not I know him because after all, he is my grandpa. I reallie do hope I meet him one day. Possibly in another lifetime. All I know was that grandpa was a great man I would be honored to meet him…. tick tock…tick tock…times a ticking. I didn’t expect this entire weekend to be of having a dam for ong ngoai. I had many things planned from finishing all my homework and getting ahead of certain tasks…as well as organizing and cleaning up my room already….then looking for that wonderful silver civic on Monday…looks like everythings just going the opposite. I’m not complaining oor anything…. | January 16 | grandpa passed away today….cau minh called mother and said he passed away at 4 today…so tonite we’re going to cau quang’s house to pray…this is all just happening too fast. I knew he was sick for many months now but still….i was holding onto that hope of finally being able to see him when I went to Vietnam this summer… | December 29 | so…woke up today with a call from May Ho to tell me that we had to take pictures today because the $5 grand opening special will only last til Wednesday…GRr… I had to go to work first because father had to run some errands, then I would be free to go. Therefore, I went to work and it was quite busy w/ full sets and refills….*thinking…nothing ever runs according to my plans*…I was still working when the clock rang 3…finally the busy-ness stopped and I called May to tell her I was leaving… rushed very quickly to do my makeup (lipgloss and EYEliner)…then off to Emerald Coast shopping center to meet May and Tho. They finally came and we went…the new cute shots is in the shopping center on Miramar Pkwy and University…it’s called VCV Pictures …which May said was short for Vietnamese Creations Vietnam…okies psycho girlll…. after finding parking spots, we went in….first thing Trang noticed was the cute guy working there..hahhaz….so cute. Then I noticed Amy and other ppl that used to go to Flanagan waiting…May knew them all. She said CA’s lover/prom date was amongst those Korean girls…ooh lala…I don’t see what he sees in her…but bleh. May and I chose our background…they were all very ugly…I didn’t like them at all. They looked like regular backgrounds offered at school pictures with ony color while the other Cute Shots had nice paintings for their backgrounds….May took her solo first, then her and Tho, then it was our turn….i don’t think the girl knew much poses…but May ended up choosing what to do….i guess they were okay…at least we didn’t look like homeless people like in the 163rd pictures… We waited…and I stared at the cutie…still don’t know what his name is…I told May I thought he was reallie cute and she said he looked like he was 12 years old…*thinking: grrr….why can’t he be older?* But I guess Ong Nam recognized me and asked me if I was already in college (mistaking me for Hong-o) and I said no…still in highschool but it was my last yaer…then the cute guy asked if I went to Mirarmar. And I said No, Flanagan…and I asked if he went to Mirarmar and he said he used to but now he goes to some place in Coral Springs…GRR….that means he lives kind of far huh? Daymnz…he still is very cute…I guess not cute cute, hot, hot, like every single girl would think…but I guess the cute innoncence in him drew my attention…he walked with his arms crossed and his head down like he was so shy…it was very adorable…*I think I’m in love with a guy I spoke less then 2 words to…* Tho talked to him…they apparently knew each other from Mirarmar…I wonder if I can find out his name??? from tho…Hehez. Our proofs were developed…I didn’t like any of the ones that May and I had….but I chose to pick 5 of each….waited, waited, waited, waited….pictures were taking way too long to develop….but then May and I thought we should just take another package….and we did…same background and everything…just different poses…hopefully they would come out better than the first we wished….i left after we took them and just hoped may would choose the best pose…. Work work work…it was really slow so Hong and I ended up going home early at like 7. I called May to see if I could pick up the pictures…she told me that Ong Nam made us extra copies where we were only supposed to get 10, we instead got hooked up and got 20 of each…Hehez…he told May to tell me that he gave them because I was his great grandkid…ahahz….how sweet? ThANK YOU ong Nam…. I picked up the pictures at her house and the second set definitely came out better…they weren’t the best…still kind of dark. But heys, it was only $5. Then hong and I went to buy Taco Bell for the kiddos to eat and I just got done with my highlights…kind of auburn reddish…barely can see it against the dark brown…but bleh. It’s better than the boring dark color…. So…I’ve noticed that I’ve been slacking off a great deal…I was supposed to study for my SATs, finish my AP Comparative Government Outlines so I can study them when AP exams come rolling, and study study study for DECA competitions since I really want to place first. It’s scary when I think of how lazy I’ve become. I never thought that Senioritis would hit me…but it surely has…and it seems like there’s no cure for it…with that being said…my greatest fear now is if I will be able to work hard enough to beat Shirley for the Valedictorianship…I go to sleep every night thinking about it…I wake up usually thinking of it…when I slack off, I think of it…when I am working, I think of it…I tend to think so much about it that the fear is becoming a reality. I really don’t believe in myself anymore…and isn’t that the biggest problem of all…when you loose faith in yourself? Ahhz…there’s just so much more to write….just today and yesterday…there’s just been so many changes in my perspectives towards family, friends, school, LOVE, and just life altogether….so I guess…stay tuned ^_^ |