WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
GEORGE W. BUSH
I don't think I should have to answer that question.
AL GORE
I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the
chicken crossing the road represented the application of these
two
different functions of government in a new, reinvented way
designed to bring greater services to the American people.
RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been
polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not
reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because
it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.
RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it
was
getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet
someone
out there is already forming a support group to help chickens
with
crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more
of
this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road
paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax
dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the
government took from you to build roads for chickens to
cross.
MARTHA STEWART
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had
a
standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the
price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any
insider information.
JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't
you people see the plain truth in front of your face?
The chicken was going to the "other side. That's what they call
it
- the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if
you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott
all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal
media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the
other side."
DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes!
The chicken crossed the road, But why it crossed, I've not been
told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain. Alone..
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Someone
told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good
enough for us.
BARBARA WALTERS
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to
the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of
how it had a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish
its
life-long dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.
ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were
quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas down
the throat of the imperialist infidel.
VOLTAIRE
I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to
the death its right to do it.
RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?
CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed
the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES
I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross
roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and
balance your checkbook... and Internet Explorer is an
inextricable
part of E-Chicken.
ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move
beneath
the chicken?
BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by
chicken? Could you define chicken please?
THE BIBLE
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto
the chicken, Thou shalt cross the road." And the
chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
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