Chapter Six


“Gwenie!!” AJ squealed when he caught sight of Nick and Gwen entering Brian’s back yard. He bounded over to the two new arrivals and wrapped Gwen in a hug. Even at twenty-six he was still wild. Bright hair, double the amount of tattoos he had at twenty-three, and more piercings. Still, he had settled down into the husband role to his wife Sara, whom he had met after his break from Amanda, and they had given birth to a ‘little AJ’ not too long ago.

“Hey J. How’s the wife and son?” she asked patting his back before pulling away.

“Good, Brett’s walking!” he said excitedly. “Amanda is..well, Amanda.”

“That’s great. Where’s she at?” she asked.

“Kitchen with Leigh. They’re cleaning Bri’s rugrats. They discovered mud.” AJ said lightly punching Nick on the arm in greeting. He looked behind him to see Brett wabbling his way towards him. Bending down, he lifted the little boy up. “Hey, Kid.” he tilted his head towards the rest of the people and started over.

“I see.” Gwen replied laughing. She squeezed Nick’s hand and led him to the picnic table where everyone else had conjugated. “Hey everyone.”

“Nick, man. Good to see you! Gwen, looking beautiful as usual.” Kevin said getting up from his seat next to his wife Kristin to give Gwen a small hug.

“Why, thank you. Hey Kris.” she said looking past Kevin towards the blond.

“Gwen. Love the dress. Hey, you wanna head inside and check on the other girls?”

“Sure.”

“Great, lemme grab Jaymie.” Kristin said standing. She grabbed her and Kevin’s seven-month old girl and Gwen followed her into the house. Nick stretched before grabbing a beer and joining Brian in a lawn chair a little ways away from the crowd.

“Hey. Nice party.” he said extending his legs on the chair.

“Yup.” Brian smiled. “Backstreet get-togethers are always great. We’re just ourselves. You know? All the families together, husbands, wives and kids. Look at where we’ve come in the last few years. All married, or almost married. We have families...we did pretty damn good.” Brian said smiling.

“We sure did. When you and Kev got married three years ago..., I never imagined that by now we’d all be settling down. One more month and we’re no longer bachelors. It’s amazing.”

“I know, Nicky. I know. Man...you’re getting married. God, I’m getting old.” Brian said suddenly.

“Brian...”

“Nick..do you realize that I’m twenty-eight?! That’s old!”

“Twenty-eight is not old. Shut up. You’re still in your prime.”

“No..you’re in your prime. Twenty-four is a hell of a lot better than twenty-eight. I’m almost thirty! Trust me, dude.” Brian laughed.

“Okay..I have a little more endurance than you...but still.” Nick joked.

“Yeah...rub it in.”

“Brian, don’t you realize what you have? A wife, kids..the whole bit. That’s exactly what I want. I want a woman that will be with me for the rest of my life. I want kids, I can’t wait to be a father. That’s got to be so great.”

“Yeah, it is. It’s the greatest feeling in the world to watch your kids grow up and know that you raised them to be who they are.” Brian said honestly.

“I dream about Gwen being the mother of my children all the time. That’s how I know she’s the woman I’m going to grow old with.”

“I remember when you told me that you were really serious about her.” Brian said looking upwards, squinting his eyes at the bright May sun... “You knew how you felt, you just didn’t know what exactly you were feeling. Love.”

*Flashback*
Kevin paced, back and forth as Brian and AJ watched intently, their eyes following him from one side of the rehearsal studio to the other and back again.

“Where is he?!” the dark haired leader asked, his voice three decibels louder than usual. Nick was late, again. “I’ll tell you where he is. He’s with her.” Kevin said throwing his hands up in the air.

“Kev, man, you gotta calm down. This is only the third time he’s been late.” AJ said leaning back on a couch tucked in the corner of the huge room.

“Yes, J, the third time...this week! Nick has a responsibility to this group. I don’t care if he ran into Kurt Cobain re-incarnated...he is supposed to be HERE!” Kevin said sighing loudly. Glaring at Howie who threw him a dirty look from across the room.

“Kevin, try to take it easy on him. He’s just getting the hang of this relationship thing.” Brian reasoned. “Let me talk to him, okay? I’m sure he knows being late won’t be tolerated.”

“Fine..talk to him..but he better not be late again.” Kevin muttered, snapping his head up when he heard the door open and saw Nick stroll in, whistling to himself. “Where have you been?!” Nick jumped, startled at the anger in Kevin’s voice.

“I was running a little late this morning. Sorry, Kev.” Nick said, peering at Kevin curiously.

“Just running late? I don’t believe that, Nick. Look, I know you have a ‘thing’ for Gwen, but this is more important. From now on, make sure you’re here, ONTIME! We are running on a tight schedule here...with only a few months till tour, plus recording coming up. We can’t fuck around.” Kevin spit out before turning his back to the three men to join Howie.

“Thanks, Kev!” Brian said saluting him sarcastically from behind. He looked up at Nick. “Nick...”

“No, Bri. It’s okay..” Nick said dropping his bag at his feet before leaving the room. AJ let out an angered sigh and looked at Brian with a raised eyebrow.

“He’s all yours, Rok.” AJ said gesturing towards the door. Brian nodded and followed the path taken by Nick. He found him outside the studio building, making himself comfortable on the grass just outside the door.

“Hey.” Brian greeted him, plastering an ‘I come in peace’ smile on his face. Nick shook his head.

“Hey Frick.”

“Look, ignore Kevin alright? He has his head up his ass half of the time. It’s his own fault that he’s a perfectionist.” Brian said elbowing Nick jokingly.

“I know, but Jesus! Howie was late yesterday..did he get ridiculed? No, its just me” Nick said running a hand through his hair.

“This is the third time this week, buddy. You can’t be running late everyday.” Brian said seriously.

“I was..am..whatever.” Nick said frustrated.

“What happened this morning? Kevin is convinced you’re spending too much time with Gwen.”

“Then he won’t wanna know what I was doing this morning.” Nick muttered.

“So you were with Gwen?”

“Of course I was with Gwen.” Nick looked at Brian like he had just asked him if he breathed. “I’m always with Gwen, Bri.” Nick finished in a whisper.

“Do I want to know what you two were doing?” Brian winced.

“We met for breakfast at Shelly’s before she had to start her shift. I was running behind because I was with her in Tampa, instead of being here in Orlando bright and early to rehearse dance steps I can do in my sleep.” he rolled his eyes and pulled up a few pieces of grass, twiddling them between his fingers. “I’m sure that’s not what you were thinking though.” he smirked at his best friend.

Brian rolled his eyes. “So..you two are serious? After only, what, three weeks?”

“I would call it serious.” Nick nodded, tying two longer blades of grass together in a knot.

“That’s good to hear, Nick.”

“Yeah...it’s good.” he chuckled before looking at Brian again. “It’s reeeally serious, Brian.”

“How serious?” Brian asked, narrowing his eyes at Nick.

“I’m not sure..she just makes me feel so...alive.” he said squinting his eyes in confusion before nodding he head in satisfaction with his answer. “Yeah, that’s it. She makes me feel good. You know?”

“Sure..”

“I mean, right now I’m here. This is something that I love to do, Brian. Performing is in my soul, but at this moment, it’s the furthest thing from my mind. Going in there to learn a new dance is the LAST thing I wanna do.” he said cocking his head to one side, ripping a few more blades of grass out of the ground to play with. “I want to be in Tampa, sitting at a table in the back of Shelly’s Diner, just watching Gwen work. I’ve done that, you know? I’ve gone into that restaurant and sat there, sipping water, so I could watch her serve other people.” he shook his head at the way he was being. “Brian, what’s going on with me? I’m Nick, the one who can never sit still for more than five minutes. And for some reason, watching my girlfriend can occupy me for hours. Just watching.”

“That’s what happens.” Brian said softly.

“So this is normal? I’m not obsessing?” Nick asked nervously.

“Nope..this is completely normal.”

“Are you doing the same thing with Leighanne?”

“Actually, yes, I just manage to schedule the ogling around my rehearsals.” he said laughing.

“I just feel so different.” Nick reasoned, laying back on the grass.

“Nick...?”

“Hmmm?” he asked sleepily.

“What would you call what you feel for Gwen?” Brian asked, a small smile playing on his lips as he awaited Nick’s answer.

“Well..this goes beyond like. Waaay beyond like.” Nick said laughing.

“Infatuation?” Brian offered. Nick opened one eye to glare at Brian.

“I thought you said I wasn’t obsessing!”

“You’re not, you’re not. Relax..it was just a question.” Brian said calming Nick.

“Well, ask me a different one.”

“Is it lust or something else?” Brian asked seriously.

“I do lust for her...but it’s way more than that.” he answered truthfully.

“Love.” Brian stated. There was no question about it, now. Nick had denied feeling everything else for Gwendalyn, love was the only possibility remaining.

“Love?” Nick said the word like he was asking a question.

“Love.” Brian repeated, his eyes widening when Nick didn’t deny it. “Nick?”

“Brian.” Nick said meeting his gaze, a new air in his eyes. He blinked numerous times, no words leaving his mouth. “Love.” he smiled.

“Yeah?”

“Maybe..” Nick said, searching his mind for a doubt that he wasn’t completely in love with Gwen. Nothing surfaced. “Yup...definitely love. I think.” he said, his expression changing from happy to confused, again.

“You think?”

“I’ve never been in love, Brian. How do I know this is what it is?” Nick said, making a good point. Brian was speechless, unable to come up with an intelligent answer. “I guess I can’t really answer that, but from what I have heard, supposedly, you just KNOW its love.” Brian explained.

“Are you in love with Leighanne?”

“I believe I am. I’ve dated before, and nothing compares to the feelings she evokes inside of me. It’s unreal.”

“Like explosions within your body...” Nick whispered. Brian looked at him curiously until Nick elaborated. “That’s how I feel whenever she touches me. Like my body is on fire.” Nick said laughing at his analogy.

“No, that’s true!” Brian defended Nick’s answer. Nick looked at him, surprised, and smiled.

“So this is love?” Nick asked himself, more than Brian.

“Yeah..”

“Yeah...Love.”
*End Flashback*

“That was a memorable day for me.” Nick said exhaling deeply, reclining as far as he could in a lawn chair.

“I can imagine.” Brian replied.

“It was a scary feeling, knowing exactly how much I cared for her. Knowing she had so much power over me, and NOT knowing how she felt.” he said turning slightly to gaze across the lawn at his fiancée.

“Love is an amazing thing.”

“Yeah..so far so good.”


Chapter Seven
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