chapter one
I sighed once again and sat down on the Chair. It was a wet but warm
September Morning and as I stared out of the window the grey clouds refelected
my mood. I felt depressed latelty - and I didnt know why, I guess loosing my job
and my boyfriend within a week hadnt helped. I was sitting in a Purple fluffy
dressing gown and big slippers my long blond hair held back loosely in a Black
Scrunchie.
Sighing again i got up and switched on the TV. The News was on and the Headlines
were that Westlife were expected to go to number one again with their Single if
I Let You Go. It was then I realised how much I missed Shane and how much i
needed to be with him right now.
It's not what your thinking - Ive known Shane since has was 10 years old. Even
though there was a 3 year age difference between us - The bond was unbreakable.
Id never really fancied Shane and as far as i know - He's never fancied me. We
were just friends - and the best of friends at that.
I hadn't seen Shane since Christmas - 9 months! 9 WHOLE months with out my best
friend by my side - Yeh we has spoke on the phone loads - and he wrote me the
longest letters ever - But that wasnt the same as holding him, seeing him,
laughing with him. I needed him - I wondered if he was thinking of me - I doubt
it i said - I mean why would he? He's Famous.
A Tear came to my eye - I missed him, even though he was a sucsessful singer and
idol - The bond between us and never changed - Obviously I loved Westlife - and
the other lads were fantastic - But Shane, well he was just shane. I know it
sounds like im obsessed with him - But Im not - Were Soul mates yeh - But
Destined for friends ship and thats all were destined for. Hed helped me with so
much over the years - and I had helped him too - We both helped each other.
I went upstairs to get dressed. Staring into the full size mirror made me
realise how much of a mess my whole life was turning into! My Phone Rang.. and
rang.. and rang.. and rang! Finally i awoke from my daze and answered it.
"Hello?" I said. "Hello Sweetheart" Said the irish voice on
the other end on the phone! "KIIANN" I squealed "Hi". "Hiya
Marie" Kian Continued. "We've just been annoucned Irish Number one, I
thought you might like to know" A Tear came to my eye "Thats great
Kian, Congratulate the others for me wont you?" he laughed "yeh sure i
will - Well I've gotta go, speak to you soon" Said Kian "Byee, Love
you" I replied "Love you too" Kian giggled. I didn't fancy Kian
and he didn't fancy me! The Westlife lads and I always said it too each other of
the phone.
I hung up the phone and sank to the floor. I cried. The tears kept flowing and
didn't stop - I couldn't believe it. Shane was there having the time of his life -
all his dreams and hopes being ful-filled and i wasn't there to share those
dreams with him - I wasn't there to hug him, ccngratulate him, see him in all his
glory - see him in all his happiness.. i wasn't there for him - at all, and..
and... I'm his best friend, I should be! I should be there to share that life
with him - Even if only for a little while.
I knew exacly where Westlife were today - pre-recording CD: UK. It would take me
about an hour to get there, and half an hour to get ready before that - I should
be at the studios before 2. with a Bit of luck. I packed my things, grabbed my
money, phone and keys - Wrote my mam a note
Mam.. Gone to See Shane - Dont ask me why - You know what I'm like!! Will ring
you tonight - Don't Worry! Love Marie.
I got onto the train and found a seat all to my self. I didn't know what I was
doing here - and what Shane would say when he saw me - But right now i didn't
have anything else to do. If Shane thought it was a bad idea - Then i'd just go
home again - I guess he might think im cramping his style. Shane was like that
sometimes - It was then I began to worry of i should even be here at all... Why
was i doing this, who oh why oh why!? - I didn't know.. i sure as hell didn't
know.. But it was too late now.
About an hour later I arrived outside the studios - about 100 fans were waiting
outside for Westlife or some other band to come and say hi. I sat way back on
the wall opposite the building, staring at the big double doors. I didn't feel
like pushing through the crowds - infact I kinda wished i wasn't here at all..
Shane has his own life now and he probably didn't need me in that life. I looked
to the floor wondering if I should go home.
Suddenly I heard some screamings... I looked up and saw Shane look at me - He
looked away. I wasn't sure if he was ignoring me, or just didn't see me - I wasn't
waiting around to find out - I got up and ran down the road - Crying my heart
out. It was then i realised something that i should have realised a long time
ago - I loved Shane - I loved him with my whole heart and my whole soul.. I wasn't going to tell him - that was for certain.
I felt a tap on my shoulder - Spinning round i was face to face with Shane.
"Marie" he said with a big grin on his face "The one and
only" I replied - Trying to act normal. I hugged him - I hugged him for way
to long - It felt so great to be with him - as his friend and nothing else. I
cried - Shane held me - trying to calm me down.. "Marie" whispered
"I have something to tell you...."