Prolouge
The stars above him shimmered, letting their bright
lights dance upon the ocean. He sighed, wishing for a moment that he was a star..
a true star. Not some synthetic star. Then, he wouldn’t have to worry, then he
would always shine... always have his bright light dance upon the oceans.
He sighed as he let himself fall to the sand, his legs
stretched out in front of him. He scrunched his toes in the sand, letting it
fall between each toe. He had always loved that sensation. Ever since he was
younger; since that first trip to the beach.
He laughed silently to himself. The amount of funny
things he thought of like that. Really, he thought as yet another wave broke
upon the shoreline, the sensation of sand? Gosh, Nick.
His head turned heaven-ward as he remembered why he had
come out here in the first place.
"Please, God," he whispered. "Let this
be okay.. let it work.."
He shuddered, thinking of everything that could go
wrong tomorrow. Their first single in almost two years. Nick was terrified.
Everyone else had told him not to worry, that it didn’t really matter how many
people bought it or what the critics thought. It was true.. as long as he loved
the music, it didn’t matter. And he did, he truly one hundred percent loved
it.
But..., he thought, laying down. He knew everyone would
be none too happy to find all the sand in his hair, but at that very moment, he
didn’t care. He needed comfort. And the sand just about did it.
"Okay," he said, at an almost whisper, "God,
I’m gonna talk to you. Like, actually talk. Not just think what I want to say,
but actually say it.. out loud."
He cleared his throat, listening to the breaking waves.
"I’m scared," he admitted. "I keep telling myself that it’ll
be okay, but God.. we’ve been gone for so long. I’ve actually missed it..
the TV shows, the interviews, the fans. I just.. What if no one likes it? What
if they say it’s bad? What if it doesn’t sell and we get dropped?" he
asked the stars, his symbol of God.
He could feel the tears rising behind his eyes. The hot
scorching ones that stung as they fell out of your eyes. He smiled behind the
tears. "It’s funny really, God. That tears can actually hurt. I mean..
you cry to let the emotions out, to get rid of the pain, but yet.. they hurt.
Have you ever cried, God?" he asked, wiping a tear away. "No, of
course you haven’t. But, you know what I mean. You always know what I really
mean, don’t you?"
Nick laid silent for a moment, wondering what to say
next. "Crying," he started, "Is kind of like fame. On the
outside, it should be good. Crying somehow helps you.. solves problems, takes
the weight off your shoulder, but yet.. as I said before.. it hurts. Well.. see
fame.. it’s seems to be the one thing everyone strives for. And, we did.. the
guys and I.. we strived for it, fought for it, and we got it. It has it’s
amazing moments. Actually, there’s a lot of amazing moments, but then there
are these really bad parts too. Like, the rumors and the hate. And.. this.. this
stupid anxiety that I’m feeling," he tried to explain. He felt solace
knowing that no matter what, God understood what he was trying to say.
He sighed again. "I just don’t know, God. I wish
there was some way to know that it would be fine whatever way it turned out.
Whether we sold ten million records, or just ten. Yeah, sure.. its still the
same music, still the same emotion. But, God, I don’t know if I can take all
that crap again. I don’t want to know what everyone thinks of our looks. I
don’t want to hear what the critics have to say. I don’t want to hear what
the fans have to say when we get girlfriends. I don’t want every person that
knows me to have to wonder whether or not people are their friends for the right
reasons. I don’t want to have to hide it when I fall in love. But yet,"
he contradicted himself, smiling slightly, "I want that feeling again. That
feeling of knowing that millions of people have heard your music. And loved
it."
He stretched his arms above his body and exhaled.
"I’m not making any sense here," he replied.
"Yes," he heard a voice say, "Yes, you
are."
He quickly sat up and shook his hair, trying to get the
excess sand out. He felt his cheeks burn with embarrassment.
"I.. you..," he stuttered, noticing the voice
belonged to a small-framed girl. She wore a white cotton dress and her feet were
bare. Her long, black hair feel loosely to her the middle of her back.
She sat down next to him, her hand touched his, sending
feelings of tranquillity and serenity through his body. "Nick, you have
essence. You do shine," she started, looking deep into his eyes. "You
said you wanted to be a true star. Of course, that isn’t possible. You’re
human. But, your light.. it does shine brightly. You have touched many people,
given them hope and inspiration. No one can ever take that away."
Nick breathed in deeply, wondering who this mysterious
girl was. "But, what happens...," he started, only to be cut off by
her soothing voice.
"It doesn’t matter. You, Nick, will always see
the stars up above. They will always shine on you.. and you will always shine
beneath them," she replied.
"I.. I don’t understand," he responded, shaking his head.
"Keep shining Nick, keep doing what you love.
It’s all that matters," she explained, shifting to sit on her knees.
Nick breathed in her scent. Roses, he thought, smiling
at her.
Suddenly, she broke the silence between them.
"See," she said pointing towards the sky,
"That is your star. It will watch over you,
protect you, and guide you. No matter what, it will always be there for you. To
shine under."
Nick sat mystified. He had just been given his very own
star. "Its almost like really being a star," he replied, still
watching it. He thought for a moment. "Hey," he said turning around.
She was gone. There stood no trace of her. Vanished.
"How did you know I wanted to be a star?" he asked to the wind.
He stood up and wiped the sand off from his pants. He
glanced at his star one last time as it glistened.