pure massacre

date: october 31, 2000
time: 1:02 p.m.
listening to: shade silverchair
talking to: no one
feeling: depressed, my stomach hurts... just blah.
wearing: ex-girl shirt, blue flares

don't go hiding, hiding, in the shade...

ugh. i'm wearing makeup. i had lipstick on, but i took it off... so i have smudged black eyeliner... it looks okay, but i don't like makeup - and i thank god i don't have to wear this everyday. of course, i guess i didn't HAVE tow wear it today, either, but it's halloween, so yeah.

we only had a half day today and after school josh and i, along with dawn and maybe christina and jacque, were going to go down to royal oak to go check out the thrift stores. well, it started with just josh, dawn and myself. then of course, jacque can't let anyone do anything without going too. *sigh* so she had to come, then christina... so yeah. i don't know, i don't really... get along with them when all three of them are together - i feel sort of left out, i guess. but i guess that's too bad.

anyway. we were going to go right after school - but noo, jacque decided she wanted to go out to lunch with dana )josh's ex) and christina and basically fuck us all over by not inviting us. and yet, she could invite herself along with us, see? it's rude. and to make it even more rude, we're s'posed to sit and fucking wait for her to get back from her lunch. which of course, she was late. it's already past one, and she was supposed to be back at 12:30. okay, well excuse the fuck out of me, but you don't do that to people. make them wait for you like that, especially when you weren't invited in the first place! god. she really pisses me off with her rudeness. yeah yeah, i know, i'm a hypocrite, blah blah.

i came home and found that i had yes indeed sold my tickets... thank god. but also, see my dad gave me one hundred bucks to go shopping today, of which i'll probably not spend. but anyways, he comes into my room and is like, "so i heard your mom talked to you", alluding to the apartment and moving out and such. i'm like, "uhhhh, yes." what do you say to that? and then he starts crying and telling me how he doesn't want to lose me too... and asking if he's going to lose me. i mean, what the fuck am i supposed to say? nothing like putting me on the spot. cripes. and how he's really upset and blah blah he never wanted to put his kids through this...

well isn't that just fucking splendid.

i'm sorry, you probably think i have no fucking heart whatsoever, but i don't care anymore. i don't. because i know what it's like and maybe i'm being selfish and heartless but oh fucking well, that's just my nature, i guess. if he didn't want to put us through this, and didn't want this to happen, then maybe he should have fucking loved his family and his wife and not put them through shit like he manages to do most of the time.

i should go, josh is going to be here soon. i'll write more later.

time: 6:20 p.m.
listening to: nothing
talking to: no one
feeling: triumphant, lol.

lol oh man i just got back from shopping with josh and WE CLEANED UP. lol. i got ten tee shirts for only $14.90! me happppyyy...and they're all 80s tee shirts, well most of them are. i DID get a seniors '99 one lol. they're so funny. i think my favorite is the "continental youth" bowling one. lmfao. oh god i love thrift stores! wooooo. here's a list of the ones i got.

dark green "march madness" basketball
purple "the caribbean" with a map of the caribbean
pink "new orleans bourbon st. time to party" with what looks like mardi gras
pink, blue, white and turquoise stripped alligator shirt
grey blue, red "continental youth" with bowling ball and pins
light blue, long sleeved "america's pride" with confetti
green "michigan state ncaa champs 1979"
blue short sleeved alligator stripped sweater
black, "seniors" on front, "99" on back lol
grey "fast forward skateshop 1984" with "staff" on back

my dad had given me that much, and i also bought two magazines, but i kept forty bucks of the money... i feel bad, but oh well. lol. he was going to give me the rest anyways. and i have to get pictures copied for the little hanson thing this weekend. so yeah.

well, i've got to wash all those clothes and then do my psych homework and write a paper for french and UGH study english for my test, so later...

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