leaving on a jet plane

date: october 30, 2000
time: 9:16 p.m.
listening to: you're the boss brian setzer orchestra and gwen stefani
talking to: no one
feeling: depressed and fat
wearing: undies and tori amos from the choirgirl hotel tee

god i hate my life right now. i'll start um... the beginning of the day? it was okay at the beginning.

i woke up from a rather strange dream. it took place at my grandma's house, only in my dream it wasn't her house... it was the site for a moffatt autograph signing, of which there was only one moffatt - scott. go figure. ;D anyways, there was a table set up in her living room where he was signing autographs. margo and myself found out about it and went. i think i was wearing my superstar shirt, the black tight three quarter length sleeves one. frank and sheila were there, and my psych teacher, mr. gosciewski was seemingly the person who set up the signing...? anyway, for some reason, i didn't have anything for him to sign (LIKE this would happen in real life), so i picked up a sheet of yellow paper (which turned translucent like a laminate type deal shortly after he signed it) that appeared to be like those free concert ads that are passed out at concerts. he signed it, and it was something really strange, like... "you are only what you percieve" or "you only see what you percieve". something wacked out along those lines. i wish i remembered it. anyways, i sat down on my grandma's couch and i was like, "what the fuck, this doesn't make sense" cause the words in what he wrote were all scrambled... in different order. so he came over and he's like telling me how to read it... but he wrote something else than what he was telling me it said. [[side note: i like this lyric....hey you with the dreams in your head, you've been so misled by your heart's pull.]] so i sat back down and he like, layed his head in my lap or something weird like that - having just met us. and he was squirming around for god knows why, and i was petting his hair absently, when he reached over to grab margo's arm or something. she slapped him away and he like, FLEW across the room and hit the wall. heh. then sheila, frank and scott all went into the kitchen of my grandma's to talk about it, i guess. mr. gosciewski went with them and he came out minutes later, pacing and stressed, almost like he was going to cry. but the few members of the moffatt family were nowhere to be found... he started to pace, and clasp his hands and explain. he was saying how that they decided to leave early due to margo's beating of scott... and he was like, almost crying while telling it... then i woke up. *shrugs* weird. lace?

um. school. choir was fine, though i was annoyed as per usual with mrs. taylor. nothing new. french, we had class in the auditorium, because our classroom is being renovated. that was pretty much a blow off hour. psych was fine, we listened to albums played backwards to see if there were "hidden messages" for backmasking...i have a test in college writing that i will undoubtedly fail because it's on grammar and i'm so bad at it. science was stupid as usual... in math we didn't do anything cause mr. wahl was sick and could barely talk.

josh and i decided we were going to go thrift store shopping down in royal oak tomorrow, so that should be fun. hopefully we can find some cool things, that aren't too expensive... cat's meow and stores like that are sorta on the high level for a thrift store. but who knows.

i came home, and i had a package waiting for me, my no doubt tee shirts came in... they're way cute. i like them muchly. one is white and like, torn and whitetrash like and has a huge "painted" on x and says "ex-girl" on the back. the other has a picture of gwen and says "got gwen?" on the back... so i was excited, as they couldn't have come at a more perfect time - i wanna dress up sort of, for halloween, tomorrow... i was going to wear fishnets, my flame shoes and a black skirt and of course red lipstick and black eyeliner and the ex-girl shirt... but i decided i look terribly fat in the skirt i got, so i'm going to just wear jeans. it's a baby tee and i still look fat (go figure), but at least i'll feel more comfortable. plus, i couldn't find fishnets.

then i get an email from the person who wants to buy my moffatts tickets off me... i'll copy and paste an email i wrote about it.

i had to sell my tickets to ottawa that i got for the moffatts concert in jan cause it was too far away right? well we got tickets to kitchener instead, and so i signed up on ebay to auction them (totally illegal) off... so thank you margo for posting on the moffatts board about them, cause i'm getting all these ppl emailing me and wanting them. there's this one person who's like, the return address was a dude, but i'm like "well maybe it's her dad", right? okay so they're all "I WILL PAY OVER FACE VALUE FOR THEM" but they wanted to call the civic centre (where the concert is going on) to check how good the tickets are.
WELL I GUESS THEY MUST BE PRETTY DAMN GOOD.
cause this person's all "I WILL BUY THEM I WILL BUY THEM I WILL BUY THEM" in an email i get and like screaming it that they hope i haven't sold them yet...they give me their PHONE NUMBER to call them and let them know that they're still on sale... so i call and it's a UNIVERSITY! and the recording pops up and it's a DUDE who's in fucking COLLEGE who wants the tickets. hahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. lmfao. oh god, how amused i am.
so i just called and left him a message lololol. how funny.

there it is. oh and i found out the tickets were sixth row, center. that's my luck for you. but whatever. so i get to sell those, that's good, cause i needed to get rid of them.

then, um, my mom comes home... and we decide to go into richmond to see if they had fishnets. we looked at the apartment she's getting... well we're getting. yeah. we're moving out. apparently. my mom usually pulls this charade. i don't know if she's serious this time, it seems like it, but i can never be too sure. but then we came home and she told my dad she found a place and they started fighting, blah blah... she walks upstairs to go to her room thingy (that's right next to mine) and she's crying so i go in there to ask her what's wrong and she said my dad was like crying when she told him or something. so basically he's trying to make up for seventeen years of mistakes. just not possible. he always tries to do this, tries to make up for everything last minute. well too fucking bad.

so that's... it, i guess. i'm just so fucking sick and tired of my life. chrissy has issued some suicidal thoughts, and frankly, that scares the fuck out of me. she said "i can visit you" meaning in ghost form... *sigh* i'm just so scared she's going to do it, i can't sleep at night and such. ...

i guess that's it. on a funnier note, cassie and i recorded lame wavs that you should go listen to on the stuff page. heh.

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