"I went to the bookstore the other day, and I saw this book of the 100 most influential people of all time. From the beginning of time until now, everybody who has ever lived, these people compiled the most influential people of all time.
The top three in order #1 Muhammad, #2 Isaac Newton, #3 Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ #3. The Son of God #3. What the hell do you have to do to impress these people? And talk about somebody who could have had his father throw a little weight around. Maybe a plague of toads to sway the vote in his favor, but no #3.
I would be a little pissed if I was J.C. right about now. Here I am the Son of God, I helped to create the Heavens and the earth, I came down from Heaven, I walked among men, I made myself mortal, I healed the sick, I performed miracles. I died on the cross so every man, woman, and child could go to heaven and live eternity in bliss. AND I GET THIRD FUCKING PLACE. Isaac Newton gets #2, what the hell is that. So he discovered gravity, who do you think invented gravity, that was me, that was my idea. I never thought that would come back to bite me in the ass."