Violence Solves Nothing
October 2, 2000

Yesterday during lunch I saw one girl grab another girl's hair and pull her down slamming her head down on the plastic stools where people sit. She shattered two of them. Shattered them to pieces. Super glue won't work this time. The girl has no reason to. Not a good enough one anyway. If the girl killed her mom, maybe. I doubt that was the case however. Everybody was giving her high fives. Saying way to go. Good Job. Congrads. That girl on the floor could have been me. That girl that ripped the other girls hair could have been me as well. It could have been anyone.

I have often thought about slamming someone in the face before. We all have of course. It's bred into our society. It's something we are brought up feeling, thinking. This case wasn't just someone punching another one. She shattered plastic stools. These stools are a hard plastic too. That poor girl. She layed on the floor screaming for about 3 minutes before a teacher even got over there. 3 minutes.

There are two things I don't understand. One, how can someone do that to another person and then celebrate it? and two, why does everyone else celebrate it as well? I've learned in the past seventeen years that racism strings from ignorance, people scared of what they don't know. Is it the same way for this act of violence? What does hate equal? Does it equal ignorance as well? I sit here trying to think of all the times I have actually hated someone and what it strings from. I have never actualyl hated anyone though, I've been really angry before, but not to the point of hate. All I can think is that the girl was jealous maybe. Jealous that she needs hate to live and comes from a broken home and the other girl didn't. Who knows. I know nothing about the girl who was laying on the floor. The girl who did this though, I used to work with her for about a week before she quit coming to work.

Do people congradulate other people for the sake of their image? Did everyone tell her good job because they thought it was really awesome? I have never seen so many hate induced people together in one room before. All the same. All of them full of ignorance and hatred. It was sickening.

In the three minutes that it took the teachers to get there, I wish that I would have helped the girl. Told her I'm sorry this happened to her. Did something. I just sat there though. Like everyone else. I just sat there. I had the chance to fight for something I actually believe in. Instead, I just sat there. I did nothing. I am weak. I am weak this time.

I have lived an isolated rose-colored cotton-candy life. I know I have. I'm not street wise. Not at all. My family doesn't have a lot of money either. My mom just did her best to keep me straight-edge. Worked as hard as she has to in order to survive, but was ready to give it all up in a second if I ever got myself into a situation that called for those extremes. I bring this up because I hear people say all the time that her financial situation has everything to do with it. Does it? Is it because her parents couldn't afford to live in the higher upper class part of town that this happened? It is because she witnesses acts like the one she commited so often that now she feels that she is allowed to it?

I have never been more sick calling myself a human being then I am now. To think that another person could actually do this to someone else is beyond me. I know I'm callow to the violence area. I know I am. I accept that. But maybe this is one area it's good to be callow in. I'm not sure I want to know what goes on in the minds of people like this. It's disgusting. All I do know however is that I will never be the same as everyone else. I will never celebrate in someone elses pain. I will never cause someone that much pain. Never. And next time, I'll stand up. I'll stand up and say something. I'll do something. I won't sit there and say Oh My God. I'll sit next to the person holding their hand telling them it's okay. I won't lie down.