Wedding Journal: February
Where and When?
One of the first things we talked about was where to have it – Pennsylvania or Massachusetts? Tradition has it that the wedding should be in the bride’s hometown. Two factors went against having it in Williamsport 1.) how could I ever plan all of those thousands of details from 8 hours away? and 2.) there is no major airport nearby so it would force our out-of-town guests to connect several times before reaching Lycoming County Airport :-)
So based on this, we talked to my parents and they were very much OK with the wedding being up here. I had been a little nervous to talk to them about it because I didn’t want to hurt their feelings. And even though I have no idea where I will get dressed on the morning of the big day – as my parents house will be 100s of miles away, I think getting married in Boston was the right choice. Everyone I’ve talked to is very excited about coming here for the wedding.
So city done – now where in the world to actually hold the festivities?
Sometime in Early February - Talking with Tufts:
Our first thoughts were to have the wedding ceremony at the Tufts University Chapel. This idea was so perfect it seemed too good to be true (read on!) I’m Catholic but Michael is not so having it in a multi-denominational chapel but with a Catholic priest officiating seemed like the perfect compromise. Not to mention the fact that we met at Tufts, that we live only three blocks away, the chapel is unbelievably quaint, and the view from the library roof next to the chapel is gorgeous.We go to look at the inside of the Chapel to make sure both of our memories of it are accurate. And when we arrive there is a wedding about to start! It must be fate I think. I remember seeing a few weddings there while I was in school, it was so neat to walk by and see the limos or horse drawn carriage parked in front of the chapel in what is usually a pedestrian only Quad! Then seeing the bride and groom….so happy… So we decide we love the chapel. My favorite thing about it is that it has the old fashioned pews that are almost like boxes, that sit about 3 people comfortably, and a wall divides you from the other half of your pew.
So I call Tufts. After a few tries I am connected with the right person – David Schwartz, the chapel sexton. Well connected with his answering machine. I leave a message and he calls us back that night. I wasn’t home from work yet so Michael talked to him on the phone. He was very pleasant and helpful and sent us info through the mail about the chapel.
Setting the Date:
So now, when exactly would the great event take place? Michael ruled out 1999 completely. His reasoning was that we just bought a house and both money and time would prevent us from being able to plan and pay for the wedding we wanted by the fall of 1999. So our thoughts moved to spring 2000. Summer just seemed too far away! So it was to be April or May. Hmmm…could still snow in April, have Easter and Passover…in May there is graduations…oh and don’t forget Tufts Spring Fling Concert – that would be a date to avoid as the campus is swarming with students and loud live rock music directly behind the chapel! Usually it is held in late April so we settled on the date of May 6 after consulting the Tufts academic calendar and seeing that was Reading period – good quiet studying students!May 6, 2000 it is. I call Tufts, the sexton says he can not book the date yet as Tufts has not yet published their Events Calendar for Fall 1999-Spring 2000. But he will definitely pencil us in and we have dibs on the date, barring any University event taking precedence. Feeling this would be unlikely given that it was reading period we said OK to be penciled in.
February 13 - Boston Sites: So we have the chapel – now what about the reception? This is unbelievably the most important decision (well maybe that and my dress!). The reception location will set the theme, the mood, the tone, the character, the everything for your whole wedding day. Will it be at a quaint country inn, an historic city hotel, a modern city hotel, a museum, a favorite restaurant, in the city or outside the city? Decisions! We first narrowed it by location. We did not want people to have to drive forever after the ceremony to get to the reception site – and we wanted it to be pretty easy to get to as well because Boston roads are treacherous for lost out-of-towners! That decided, I turned to my trusty Boston Brides magazine and made out a list of potential sites and called them all to request their wedding package pricing plans. I received tons of information form all of them except from the Boston Park Plaza which never got back to me. Obviously a bad business practice and their loss. (Note: Our college formals were held there and the ballroom is spectacular but more appropriate for a wedding of 500 guests than 150 – and I didn’t want to get stuck in a smaller room – wouldn’t have been the same!) So this is what our list looked like:The Hartwell House in Lexington – a charming restaurant where Mike and I ate on his 22nd birthday
The Sheraton Tara in Lexington
The Colonial Inn in Concord
The Hyatt Regency in Cambridge
The Sheraton Commander in Cambridge
The Seaport Hotel in Boston
The Omni Parker Hotel in Boston
The Fogg Art Museum at Harvard (in Cambridge)
The Gamble Mansion in Boston
The Museum of Transportation in Brookline
So we got in the car on Saturday and drove out to Lexington/Concord to check out the sites out there. First stop the Colonial Inn. The Inn is very quaint from the front and is right in Concord’s historic town center – which could be out of a picture book of New England towns. However, driving behind the Inn we hated the back area – odd way to choose but that’s how we felt. There was an ugly modern addition, and the reception room pretty much looked out over the parking lot rather than the town square. Nope not for us. Second stop, the Hartwell House. We’d been there before and knew we liked it but just wanted to stop by for a second peek. Because there as snow on the ground it was hard to picture it in the Spring but we tried. Once again we decided too much view of the parking lot. Nope. Next stop the Sheraton Tara. I’d never been here before but I knew the ones on Braintree and Framingham are decorated like Tudor castles on the outside and thought that might be kind of neat. Nope, not this one. This was more like a motel with a view of Route 128. No thank you. We headed back into town and drove by the Hyatt Regency. We’d been there before for dinner in their Spinnaker restaurant, which revolves around and gives an amazing view of Boston. Michael’s parents had recently stayed there as well so we were pretty familiar with it. We didn’t go in but kept it on the list of potentials. Next we drove by the Sheraton Commander which is right in Harvard Square. It is an older style hotel and is supposed to have a lovely ballroom. Once again however, parking lot view. Just not what I had in mind.
That was it for that day. We didn’t go and look at any of the Boston locations because we were pretty familiar with them, but they were knocked off the list as well. The Seaport Hotel had reasonable prices, was brand new, and was supposed to have fabulous views of the Boston skyline from the east. However we decided against it because if you drive over there, all you see are CRANES – as a result of construction of Boston’s new underground highway a.k.a. the Big Dig, and development of the seaport area. Not a pretty site. Nope! Next the Omni Parker. Absolutely gorgeous old city hotel on Boston’s Freedom Trail, near the historic Quincy market area. Think Edith Wharton’s Age of Innocence. Spectacular. But when we saw the prices it was out of our league. Too bad. And as I mentioned, the Boston Park Plaza never got back to me and I did not pursue it as I figured that would also be a little pricey.
I love all three of the last three sites. The Gamble Mansion is an old house on Commonwealth Ave in Boston right near the Public Gardens. Its ballroom is spectacular. However, the rental fee plus catering, plus all of the restrictions, plus no parking, led us to sadly say no to this site as well. Oh well. Next the Fogg Art Museum – it is part of Harvard University’s Museum and it houses much of their Impressionist collection. The main lobby is glorious, with marble, high ceilings, archways. But we ruled this out for the same reasons as the Gamble mansion. Catering costs are unbelievable. They nickel and dime you for every glass, every napkin. What a racket! I knew given my work schedule, I did not have time to plan all of these little detail with a caterer. I was leaning more and more towards a complete hotel package that came with EVERYTHING including a personal wedding coordinator and the honeymoon suite!
Lastly we talked about the Museum of Transportation in Brookline. Michael the car freak had been to several car lectures out there but never once mentioned how beautiful the place was. I saw it listed in a bridal ad and he agreed that it is beautiful, set on acres and acres of land (a rarity in Boston) with a gorgeous castle like carriage house where they have the receptions. This site appealed to both of us – to him because of the cars and to me because it sounded so romantic! But then he mentioned he got lost trying to get there and it was quite far from Somerville. The fact that he got lost worried me. He knew the Brookline/Brighton area reasonably well.
Hmmm…so we looked on a map and it truly is in the middle of nowhere. Well at least as far in the middle of nowhere you can be and still be near a city
J It would be all street driving, no highways. That would be very difficult for our guests. For anyone who has ever driven in Brighton/Allston/Brookline, you understand. It is awful. We thought about doing shuttle busses but with that number of guests it would just get too confusing – we didn’t want the guests to be tied to the bus schedule, we wanted them to be able to leave as early or stay as late as they chose. So, the Museum of transportation went the way of the other sites – Nope!We were left with the Hyatt. I shouldn’t say left because it seemed to incorporate everything we wanted – a spectacular location and view, a complete package deal, reasonable cost, and all of our guests could stay there as well so we wouldn’t have to worry about people driving late, in a strange city, after maybe having a drink or two. So we called the Hyatt, spoke with the Wedding Coordinator, Kristin Wissig, and arranged a meeting.
February 19 – Our First Site Tour:
Our appointment was at 12 noon to meet with Kristin. I left work at 11:30 for a long lunch and drove down to Cambridge to pick Michael up at his office and then head to the Hyatt. It was a beautifully clear day and even driving down Memorial Drive we were appreciating the Boston Skyline. Once inside the hotel, Kristin came down and met us in the lobby. She briefly discussed the two locations within the hotel available. One was the "Empress Room" on the 14th floor which had floor to ceiling windows and two balconies. The other was a tent connected to the hotel. Hmm.. First we went up to the Empress Room. So not to spoil the effect of the room on the guests reading this, I won’t go into too much detail except to say it is breathtaking. Pray for a clear night! Anyway, after we toured the room, we sat with her and talked about some of the finer details – kids menus, bathroom locations, food tastings, the cake, group hotel room discounts. She showed us various pictures of the room set up for weddings and also of the tent. I’ve never wanted a tent reception and definitely not one just off of a hotel. So we expressed our interest just in the Empress Room. She looked up our date of May 6 and horror of horrors – it was booked! Now this is about 15 months before! UGH! And it was booked for a bar mitzvah! That lucky kid! So we discussed alternate dates. We didn’t want to move further into May because we knew that would be tough with Tufts and others that have graduations to attend. She said all of April was open. So we had to do some quick thinking. But she said she would give us a copy of the contract and we could call her when we have the date picked out, she’ll hold the date, and then we just return the contract with the deposit. So we went off to do some thinking. Well actually we went back to work but did some thinking over the weekend.Our Second Date:
Well, I looked up when Easter and Passover were in April and they were the end of April so we decided to avoid that. That left us with April 1, 8 or 15. Hmmm….April Fool’s Day? Tax Day? Or April 8th? The 8th it was. Called Kristin, she held the date and we sent our deposit in.The Tufts Fiasco:
So now to change the date with Tufts. I called the sexton and explained the situation to him. He said May 6th was never a guarantee anyway and then went into a song and dance about how he really couldn’t schedule or pencil anything between January and May 2000 until at least June of 1999. I was a little confused as he hadn’t mentioned this earlier and I had been under the impression we were penciled in. He said no way, we would just have to wait until June when the events calendar comes out. And he would contact us as soon as it did and we would still have "first dibs" behind any University related event. What? He wants me to wait until June – four months from now – and then book a reception site, a florist, a photographer, a DJ, etc…all because he can’t give me an answer? In Boston in 2000 when everything is going fast? I don’t think so. UGH! Everything was falling apart – we already have the reception site for April 8! UGH! So of course I was at work when I called him. When I got off the phone with him, I am of course crying. I shut my office door and call Michael, I can barely speak to the receptionist because of the tears! Finally I get through and he calms me down and says we’ll just keep the reception site and see what happens with Tufts but will keep the date and go from there.St. Catherine’s to the Rescue: Of course I can’t deal with anything being up in the air, so I called my church, St. Catherine’s in Somerville. I speak with Father Ward and I want to cry again because he was so wonderfully nice to me. He offered his congratulations and talked briefly about what St. Catherine’s offers, what we need to do to get married at the Church, and best of all he said the date was free! Wide open whatever time I wanted! Woohoo! I was so happy. The times were 10, 11, 12, 1, 2, 5:30. Hmmm….because of confession at 3 and Mass at 4 those times were blocked off. We decided to go with 2 p.m. because 5:30 seemed so late. But now we’ll have about a 1 ½ hour gap between the ceremony and reception. We will figure something out
J But at least I have a church and a reception hall!We will still wait and see what Tufts says in June but we’re not holding our breath. I was just so angry at their stupid bureaucratic policies. Having attended the school for four years I was not really surprised but still! Needing someway to express my displeasure, I sent a letter to the Director of Alumni Relations. The response was as expected…so sorry for the inconvenience…the calendar will be out in June…we have to do it this way because one couple was inadvertently scheduled to marry during Spring Fling and ended up suing the school… In other words, hopeless.
