my life is slowly crumbling down around my ears,
all i want is for someone to hold me and erase my fears.
trapped and cornered, that is how i feel,
all i want is to go far away, go away and heal.
it's my own fault, i got me here, and now all i feel is pain,
i try to block it out, then my emotions take over, and the tears fall like the rain.
i've made bad choices,
i've chosen to not listen to the voices.
the voices of experience and time,
but now i'm paying the price, it's out of my own fear filled hole i've got to climb.
my heart is broken and the pieces have scattered,
can i leave them behind as if nothing ever mattered?
maybe some day, i'll find the pieces and put them back together,
i can't go on like this, no not for forever.
this is my journey, without reason or rhyme,
all i have to do is to take things...
one day at a time......

Ebbie 8/1/01

i awake in a cold sweat, breathing hard, tears in my eyes
i'm alone, another nitemare, no one around to hear my cries

i wipe the tears from my face, search in the dark to find a match
striking once, the flame flickers, i move to light the candle but the wick won't catch

Once, twice, third times a charm
So cold in here, i rub my arms trying to stay warm

i stumble out of bed, i teeter and totter in the dark
i walk into my nitestand, ouch, that's gonna leave a mark

i go to the wash basin to wipe clean my tear-stained face
i feel a slight chill, it gets so cold, in this dark and lonely place

i slowly walk back to my bed, climb in and up to my shoulders i pull my covers

On my pillow i lay my head, close my eyes and not knowing what dreams may come, my heart shudders

i lie there still awake, breathing slower now, but again with tears in my eyes
i'm alone, another dark and lonely nite, no one around to hear my cries

Ebbie 8/19/01

This is by a very good friend of mine! Love ya babe!

UNTITLED ( 09/18/1999)

Love is hard to explain,
Emotions, feelings you cannot ascertain.
Living by lies and deceit,
Having to keep your desires discreet.
It's not fair, this life of mine,
While others are free to shine...
Other people can show affection,
Kiss and hug without discretion
We have to find a dark corner and hide,
For love like ours, "normal people" won't abide.
I think about the days of Stonewall,
What was the point? We're still not equal.
I hate the fact that we are not accepted,
Every chance for total equality somehow intercepted.
I dream of a wedding, minister and all,
With the MAN of my dreams, dark and tall.
My own mother will not be there, nor my dad,
The do love me you know, but still it's sad,
That they cannot accept how i feel
When all I want is their understanding of my ordeal.
Maybe someday things will change, I hope they do,
C'mon society GET A CLUE!

Anonymous Homosexual