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What Are You Invested In?


The Essays of Brother Anonymous
Spiritual Essays

March 2, 2009

I have this private theory about old age. I think itís been designed into life to reveal to us what our investments have been.

Where your investments lie, there will your heart lie also, said the Man with the Plan.

Arnold Schwarznegger invested in his muscles. Where will they be when heís old?

Anyone who invests in their good looks, forget it. Not designed to last. Youíll be daubing the grey hairs forever.

Sexual conquests? Passing fancy, says old age. Sure, you can extend your time beyond your means, a little. But no permanent return on investment. Old age sees to it.

So as we grow older, we more and more get to see just what it was we invested in. And we more and more see what was a poor and what a good investment.

I had a sobering experience maybe ten, fifteen years ago. I had to take Prednizone and I completely lost my memory on it. I couldnít remember the name of the bridge I drove over every day. And I was employed as the corporationís memory (long story).

I saw what I would be like without my memory. Boring. Nothing. Complete loss of identity.

I had an experience of old age when I wasnít old.

So what to do?

I determined at that time that I was going to search and find out what it was wisest to invest in, what would stand up to old age.

I actually should stop here and ask you to tell me what youíve discovered if youíve looked at the same question. But I will say it anyways.

An attitude of service to God and humanity lasts. A meditative orientation lasts. The love of God lasts. Appreciating bliss and beingness lasts. All divine attributes last.

In other words, given that the purpose of life was to release us divine sparks into the cosmos and watch us grow up into supernovas, all the attributes of a supernova last.

This whole game is rigged. From beginning to end.

Depart from the path too much and karma kicks in like a ping-pong paddle in either hand. Not too far to the right and not too far to the left Ė over time.

The ultimate kicker is the low-level tidal thirst for knowing who we are that we donít even realize was built into the program from day one. Call it the longing for liberation, the desire to progress, or whatever else you want to.

It is a subsensible yearning for something that only knowledge of God can supply.

The game was set. There is no way out other than through Self-Realization.

Might as well surrender.

As old age approaches, we all get to look at the pile of chips in front of us and see how we did. Are there no chips left? What were we thinking of?

Is there a pile of chips? What did we do that was right?


The Essays of Brother Anonymous
Spiritual Essays