The Past Weekend
Music: "Big Machine" Goo Goo Dolls
Mood: Good
Ok, so last weekend was Dobson speech. I was entered in humor and storytelling... my scores were as follows:
Humor: 2 5 2 3
Storytelling: 1 2 2 1
I broke in storytelling, and since it was a break straight to finals, I was ensured to stand on stage. And for once in my life in doing interp, i wasn't nervous. That was nice. I got seventh out of eight, but i don't really care becuase 1. I've never broken before and 2. this was my first time doing storytelling. It was a nice change of pace. This year I have been working so hard on interp, tying to be a good interpretation captain and what not, and something finally paid off. It made me happy.
But other things didn't make me so joyous. I saw the guy I had a crush on, standing next to this girl really close, a lot. Wherever he went, she was there,so I assume Girlfriend. But maybe its just my imagination, but all i know is that i don't realize how somethign could hurt, that wasn't even there. I think i still like him. But I also think, its easier to accept the truth that he actually has someone, than forget my hope. I don't know. It doesn't help, when i tell peple I am over him and they laugh. Or they talk about him to me. And all I will do is put on the obsession facade, and look happy, rather than show my true feelings. I use words such as "obsession" and "stalker" to make it seem lighthearted, when in the truth, I just don't want people to realize Alecia, god forbid, likes someone for real, and has real feelings. I mean, I had to put on a smile the whole day at Speech and Debate saturday, after i saw 'that' and then for a second i let my guard down, and heh, everyone looked at me funny. So yeah. Fine people, think I am some kind of hopeless person 'stalking' this guy. Maybe I am hopeless. I don't know.
"Ecstacy is all you need
Living in the big machine now
Oh, you're so vain
Now your world is way too fast
Nothin's real and nothing lasts
And I'm aware
I'm in love but you don't care
Turn your anger into lust
I'm still here, but you don't trust at all
And I'll be waiting
Love and sex and loneliness
Take what's yours and leave the rest
So I'll survive
God, it's good to be alive"
---Big machine by Goo Goo Dolls
Ok thats my girliest entry ever.. i promise I'll stop. :D
