Movie Review Numero Uno
Ghost is a pretty sweet show.

Movie Review Numero Dos
Whitney reviewing "Double Whammy" starring
Steve Buscemi, Elizabeth Hurley

The only close-minded thing i was thinking was "I'm going to have to watch a whole 1:30 of this hot chick." Which I hate... but that did not interfere with my ... unbiased movie reviewing skills.

Okay this is the most symbolic comedy I have seen since Haiku Tunnel. I'm not really sure what it means yet, but it's deep. It's got the black guy from Clueless in it. He like wears this red suit. There are several great scenes portraying reverse racism, Elizabeth's legs, a red-haired kid, the gay actions of a straight man, and my favorite, painting over graffiti on the wallpaper.

This movie is quite funny. Though I didn't laugh that much, I think I would have if I wasn't tired out of my mind. Maybe not, because the comedy is extremely complex, but it has some dumb humor also. Yeah I was just really tired. There are several reasons to see this movie and I've already emphasized the deepness of it. So now I'll say that Steve Buzcemi gives, as always, a great performance and he's a reason to see any movie in my opinion. Yeah, this flick doesn't show any nipples though. Sorry.

Movie Review Numero 3
Whitney reviewing "The Singles' Ward" starring
Some unknown Utah actors that really aren't that great.

Okay, I hate LDS movies that try to be cool and go to hollywood and in the meantime spread the gospel. Honestly, if god supported theater evangalists, the point is he doesn't. Heh yeah good point Whitney! And if, heaven forbid he did I'm sure he would make these movies suck 74% less, and choose people who don't make movies suck. There is a lovely difference between going to the movies, and going to church. And I think only Mormons confuse the two. That being said, Here's my review.

I don't want to be a traitor to my religeon or anything, but I think I'm too late for that... Okay the religeon is great but the people in it suck. The first ten minutes of this movie were extraordinary. Emphasizing how annoying, obnoxious, and intrusive leaders in your ward are. Like seriously I might go to church occasionally if every time I went I didn't get 17 people who barely even know my name rushing up to me trying to fellowship me by asking "Where have you been? There's a seminar tonight. We're baking cookies tomorrow. We're going skating on Thursday. Up for Young Womens' camp? Oh, how about a calling. Bishop wants to see you this week." What the hell does it matter?! I'm here now, please back off so I can leave and ask myself what on earth I was thinking by going to church. They make it too social. So yeah, Moving on.

Then the rest of the movie... sucked. Enough said. And this movie displays the basic culture of all 'good' Mormons, so it's funny in that sense. But really, don't see it.

Movie Review Numero Quattro
Whitney reviewing "View from the Top" starring
Gwenyth Paltrow, Christina Applegate, That chick from Jerry McGuire, and the former Murphey Brown

Okay, just last night I went to this movie with Amando, Jamie, Crystal, Jordan, Heather and her new boyfriend who is a... millionaire. Yeah, I wanted to see "Boat Trip" but I didn't really have a problem seeing this one cause, you know, Mike Meyers is in it. And also Chris from Coldplay is engaged to Gwenyth... Yeah, um uhuh. But I didn't want to bail on my family or anything. So on to the reviewing

Heh just so people aren't confused, whenever I say 'that chick from Jerry McGuire' I'm talking about the one who does the sex scene at the very beginning. But this movie... wasnot funny. This movie wasnot worth seeing. This movie was a flop. This movie didn't know what the heck was going on. The parts with Mike Meyers are somewhat standable. But altogether I think Mike Meyers is on about 20 minutes of film. So here is what... everybody else thought.

Jamie:
That's the most stupid movie I've seen in my life.

Jordan:
That's the stupidest movie I have ever been to.

Heather to her boyfriend:
What's the reason you wanted to see that movie?

Heather's boyfriend:
The girl!

All the guys:
Yeah that was the only good thing about it

Amando:
At the beginning I thought 'well I hope this is ok' then when it was in the middle I thought 'okay when is this going to end?', but hey well the girls in it are ok.

Crystal:
I thought [it] was Kinda Stupid BUT I didn't think it was that bad like everybody else did. (heh, naturally) But you don't need to see it!

So that's that. I also heard people saying "It had no plot", and yeah it was gay fag lord.

Movie Review Numero Five
Whitney reviewing "Signs" starring
Mr. Mel Gib.Son. heh

Mmm this is one I caught down in Spanish. It never really looked that great.. hehe and previously to the viewing of this movie, when I was kicking everyone's bum in cards, I said "Independence Day was a pretty good one" And then Jordan's like "Oh please that is so unrealistic" and man I'm just like... "Well it's an alien movie dork" I probably didn't say that, heh but his reasoning is lol ok. here. "He flies the plane straight up and down for 2 miles. You know the crazy guy who dusts the crops, well he gives some lame-ass speech and flies his plane straight into the weapon ship or whatever it was. Gravity won't let you do that going that slow." So then I argued with him for the sake of talking about this movie a little longer, cause it is really cool. "How do you know how fast it was going? I think he was against blue sky so gee... Maybe.. You don't know." Yeah then he said something and I totally agreed, then started bashing Independence Day for its totally impossible-ness. haha. Yeah then he said I have a real subtle way of making fun of people, which I took as a great compliment... sigh yeah but SIGNS

This movie is OK. Like the little girl is awesome. And the kid is really smart. But it kind of... was good. I just hate it when you're at somebody's house and everyone falls asleep but you as you're watching a movie..

Movie Review Numero Sechs
Whitney reviewing "8 Mile" starring
lol WHO ELSE?!

Well, we had this one rented out for like a week because Crystal had to wait for the *Perfect* moment to watch it… When she finally did I kinda drifted into the living room and Aaron told me this movie was pretty good so I kinda started watching it, then uh… Kinda watched it with full attention later on I guess. Yeah.

Uh, this movie was alright.
Crystal:
"Ugh… How did he get his record deal? That didn’t show anything! I was thinking the movie would go up through his career until he got his movie offer. Ugh… That didn’t show anything”
Then she asked me and mom like 700 times what happened in the next year of his life. Also she wrote on her whiteboard about how much she wants to meet Marshall (She spelled it ‘Marcial’), marry him, and talk to him about the movie 8 Mile, and why he even did it

Movie Review Numero Eight
Whitney reviewing "Lonestar State of Mind" starring
DJ Qualls

I wanted to watch this one, then I didn’t.. Cause I wasn’t in the mood for the accents. But then I went in the living room and wanted to watch it because of the goofy kid.

Seventeen thumbs up. Fine holiday fun. It was so good, I was able to get over the Texas thing entirely. Only weird thing is there’s this girl named Baby. And she’s pretty hot, but I don’t even care. Good show. Lol. My sister… She spends the whole movie asking you questions about one word she didn’t understand, and it’s a never-ending cycle. Plus… I’m super-sensitive Dad says. Hmmmmm. So Whitney recommends this comedy :)

Movie Review Numero Eight, (really)
Whitney reviewing "Southpark Bigger, Longer & Uncut or some junk" starring
Cartman, and Cartman’s mom.

A certain someone’s first priority for the past 2 months, maybe 6 weeks… has been to remind me daily that I need to see this movie. So uh, Blockbuster didn’t have it, but I went to Hollywood Video where I got lots of dirty looks.. But that just makes it all the better. Only I scraped up mom’s car. Heh… yeah

Yeah the movie isn’t all that bad. Say… m’kay is pretty neat. And also when Cartman says “fuck.” …. Yeah that part rocked.

Movie Review Numero Nine
Whitney reviewing "Identity" starring
Johnny Cusack

Yeah, well I know, I know it's "John" now, but I prefer "Johnny." Just like the good old days... I recommend Better Off Dead

Okaly then. I think I'd give this a very good .. You know, for good measure. hehehe. I really enjoyed this one. Good to discuss afterwards... director did a fine job of sucking us all into the trap that all the victims were a part of... and uh... I feel like I should be murdered now. I feel so bad :( I'M SORRY!

You should see it.

Either you should learn how to count, or think. Or just not be heartless... But, my birthday is not May 10th. Which is why I am still alive.

Movie Review Numero TEN
Whitney reviewing "Abandon" starring
Katie Holmes, Richie Valens

We spent $30 to rent this movie. We’ve had it out for a month. I put it in, because Crystal wanted to watch 7th Heaven.

Just Okay, this is a flick where it’s gonna turn out to just be genuinely weird, but then it takes that cheap turn into one of those shocking endings that Hollywood has been abusing lately, and turns ungenuinely weird.

But 7x better than 7th Heaven.

Movie Review Numero Releven
Whitney reviewing "Jackass the Movie" starring
Johnny Knoxville, Bam

I went and picked this movie out at Blockbuster last night. I saw Mikey there, but avoided him… and I never do that… hmm Okay I couldn’t be more impressed. Every element needed to make for a great viewing experience was executed to the extreme. I will recommend this to anyone and anyone. Lol.

Seriously, Bam is kick. And uh… I just don’t know what to say anymore other than I watched this at 11 o’clock and then I watched it again and it’s 3 now so… yeah that’s cute of me. Anyways if I talk anymore I’ll be much too exposed and [expletive deleted] heh check this out, this is how Stevie Oldfield reviews a movie.

It's um... Yeeeah... [groan] Mmm.. You know? Yeeeah...

Lol I love Stevie don't get me wrong I'm just a little crazy these past 40 hours BYE

Lots of male nudity.

Movie Review Numero TWELVE YAYY!!
Whitney reviewing "National Security" starring
Steve Zahn, Martin Lawrence

Yeah… yet another movie where Martin Lawrence really isn’t a cop, but acts like one… shocking. I was willing to watch it because he’s usually got some mediocre humor in his flicks… but I was just like… not entertained. Steve’s great so props to him, but other than that this movie was just weird and retarded and not funny and a flop. Don’t watch it. Watch Blue Streak for the very same plot with better jokes.

Movie Review Numero Thirteen on Friday the 13th.!!
Whitney reviewing "About Schmidt" starring
Jack Nicholson

The only reason I rented this is cause the gay guy at blockbuster insisted I didn’t. I didn’t eat through this whole movie except for the very first. It’s good. I won’t tell you anything about it because you should probably see it. Jack is a good actor I’ve decided… I know everybody knew that but I don’t think it’s really been true until this movie. Plus I never want to see Anger Management but I’m sure I will some day. Watch About Schmidt.

Oo Oo... cause you get to see something you never thought you would =)... Kathy Bates nudity.

Movie Review Numero 14.
Whitney reviewing "finding nemo" starring
nemo

stevie oldfield called this his favorite flick of the year so I made dad take me to it lol I’m awesome. Well I didn’t eat through these movie either. it is a capital Terrific movie and I recommend it to everybody. Seriously over all the other shit out there times 400 go see finding nemo. Ok well god adam duritz is great. That’s all. Peace out..