before

This is from before, in case you would like to read it.

Some poetry, in order of appearance.

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Cased

She used to be afraid.
water would come in while she slept,
crept up to her side bedside, and
it took every gasp from her tiny hovering mouth
preserved her last thoughts in a soggy mantle
glazed and protected,
floating just for glee.

Who wants Her to be frightened?
it’s all been fixed since then.
I've sealed Her windows up with skin
and now that water can’t get in.

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You shook me up!

Ooo!
You shook me up!
I've been hung upside down before
from a string
big toe hooked
winding around in a timid manner
stretched out to say "excuse me"
Spouting these words that ran just like a fear plan.
but now,
dropped precisely again between ages 7 & 4
everything becomes a glorious treat
novelty touch me,
gift eyes!
I sit around eating my grammar school paste
It's acceptable to shove flatware up a nostril
..sometimes I just lay around all day long
blessing you

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Origin.

I hate talking with you
My words are fluff
But spewing out turn into solid objects
each letter I speak becomes a blunt tool
Chairs and bottle openers and mainly branches

I had a dream about this once and then everynight after
I cringe(d) at the absolute nature of everything that I say
Cried because of how stable my thoughts were
Until so many reasonable arguements came along and snuffed out my accountability

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Enchanted

I've always been enchanted by footprints
Weary echoes of what used to be
I've always been tempted to find them embedded in the ground
and follow them back to the beginnings

Step by step
backwards
I want to chase patches of flattened earth
once green, painfully lustrous;
trampeled and touched by rampant feet
once travelling with unknown destinations,
once burrowing deeper into unchartered soils,
but now so safe and explained...
now safe enough for me.

Stepping, one foot in front of the other
My barefeet meet with fear in every inch
that I crawl-
which I crawl
pretending that my heart is open and that my toes have been here before.

Wiggling, shimmering across the land
dreaming and praying for the pixies that dance to a beat that is said to guide scared little girls
-I've heard of these dancers-
whispered legends that I was given to protect me..
in the night
in the dark
in my dreams
in my wake in the forest

Every step a new print
Unlike anything that I've ever seen before
damaging the earth
damaging her earth
breaking beneath frantic Feet
Panicked, but still Feet.

Constantly tempted to stand still,
where I've stood before
No more rushing in fear
disillusioned by my own leading toes..

So much earth ahead
My body could easily fall
Leaving my shape pasted down
helplessly glued,
again and again

********

Untitled

Dismantled and Disfigured
I remember better hours
Molded letters on the ceiling
Staring through up to the wisdom..
that I just couldn't touch

Something felt so right
Pieces fitting in the pegs
blocks deep down in my chest
My face smoothed by the touch
I'm starting to believe

I gave in to the moment
My body felt so cherished
My lungs were full of air
I danced unlike my demons
For a moment I was there

Then I remembered what I was
and I gave up on the ceiling
My hands are clasped behind me
but they still linger there