Hi Chris: I finished the GRE today. I scored below what I did on both of the practice tests that I took at home, but still made it in the average score range that physical science majors score in nationally. Yes, you get immediate feedback of your results. The guy who administered the test was an ass. He told me I couldn't bring my water into the testing area. When we went in, I saw his water on the floor next to his computer! He said he was allowed to. To make matters worse, I forgot how cold the rooms at the university are. I didn't come in with a sweater. The man did have one but it was huge and STINKY. I tell you, the combination didn't aid in optimizing my score. He wouldnt even let me use my own mechanical pencils, I had to use his and they didn't have erasers! Thank God it was a computerized scoresheet, but if I messed up a calculation, I had to start over, wasting time. Time is of the essence in a GRE exam. I had to start by writing two essays, forty five minutes each. That was a nightmare. Worse yet, the old man was staring at my back the entire time rather than doing his own thing. That vibe didn't enhance my performance either. He had a condescending air to him as well. At the end however, when he saw my scores, he looked impressed and stated that they were some of the higher scores he's seen out of the university. He didn't know that they were 60 to 100 points below my practice tests, thanks to him and the environment.

Did you save any of my past letters I sent to you? I noticed that the prior letters are no longer on this page. I needed to talk to you the last couple of days but thank God, the problem got resolved. I was so glad that I didn't cancel the ED program opportunity when I thought of it. I'll tell you about it on the phone. I don't feel comfortable writing it. I had to suffer until I found the results, but God gave me the best possible result. It appears that it is a definite that I will take the Hilo High position, I canceled with the charter school but Marcia Miller is still on hold in case of other complications. I need to talk to people for advice. I'll hopefully hear from you on Saturday. Sunday is Robin's 21st birthday and yes, we are taking her out to drink that night! I plan on going camping starting on Monday for a couple of days. I have very little time to make my mind up and I must do it very soon. I hope to hear your input.

Circe

Hi Chris:

I just got home from Kona. Believe me, it wasnt my idea to go to outback. The plan was for the church to go to Hapuna Beach today, then people suggested going to dinner at Outback. I promise you, I did not put my opinion into that choice. Since I hitched a ride with Kyle and them, I was there for the ride and of course I enjoy the place. You may be impressed to hear that despite some of my difficulties lately, I still was not led into the temptation of drinking even though so many around me did.

Please dont feel hurt by my friends. I told Robin about the UCSD incident on the way home after you talked to me. She suggested something that I never even thought of that made me realize another mysterious way God works in. She noticed that I was really angry about the racial discrimination that the cop displayed. I explained that I was just to be so angry since he was potentially ruining my future jobs. She explained that my anger at the incident could be the root to why I am angry about the racial discrimination around me, and the anger was fed and grew worse throughout the years. She explained that God had it in his path for me to run into this to realize why I had the bitterness so I can finally address it and begin to heal, now that I know the root of that particular problem. Thinking about it, you may not believe it, but before that incident, I was not bitter like I became. I did start to get bitter after that incident. I do believe God was speaking through her to let me know how to address my judgement issues with racism and anger. God is trying to clean me from the inside out by exposing past traumas! I am being forced to face these issues because God knows its the only way I'll begin to heal. To me, this makes sense. What do you think?

I love and miss you,

Circe