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«I'M NOT PERFECT
This letter wasn't written by Justin, but it definatly shows a whole new perspective on things. Please read this and copy it on to your site to remind people that *NSYNC are just 5 guys who are doing what they love, but at a hefty price. Thanks to Becky for writing this awesome letter!
I'm not perfect. In fact, I am nowhere near it. Yet, thousands of girls
see me as this perfect being who can do no wrong. The moment I make a mistake,
the minute I act human, I could lose that.
I've spent my life in the
spotlight. I gave up my childhood to have a taste of fame. The years I should've
been hanging with my friends, dating, and going to school dances, I spent
touring, singing, making people scream.
I know that my face graces the
walls of many teenage girls bedrooms. I know that there are girls out there who
make websites devoted to me, who write fiction about me. I've never read it, and
I never will. The thought scares me. The fact that people use me as a
character, write stories about me. I could never read it, it's something
I find impossible to fathom.
Barely a day goes by when someone's not
taking a picture of me, or shoving a pen and paper into my hand, begging for an
autograph, proclaiming their undying love and devotion.
Those girls don't
know the first thing about love. Hell, I don't know the first thing about
love. I haven't been given the chance to fall in love. I've dated, and dated
often, miraculously hiding it from the public. There was a time when I thought I
was in love, but I've come to realize that I was nothing more than a stupid kid.
When you're me, there's no room in your life for love.
I guess you could
say that finding love is my biggest wish. We've gotten so famous that, now, I
can't meet a single person who doesn't know who I am. I've been burned before,
had girls who I thought could be someone very special, only to find that they
were only dating me because of who I was to the public, not who I really
am.
In some ways, the face you see on television, the face you see in the
magazines, he's not me. He's always happy, always laughing and smiling. I don't
always laugh and smile, I'm not always happy. I get depressed just like every
other teenager. But no one can know that, because then I would lose the perfect
image. I would become more human.
When I was younger, I used to play the
'what if?' game. What if I hadn't joined the group? What if I had gone to high
school in Memphis and had a normal life?
I've since stopped doing that.
It doesn't change anything. I'm on this course, and there's no way to take back
my past and make different choices.
I watch the fans sometimes. I watch
them and I wonder; why? What is so special about me? I'm not that much different
from the guy who sits behind you in chemistry class and plays basketball. The
only real difference is that his face isn't plastered all over the world.
Sometimes I wish that I could just have a day of no fame. Just one day
where I could go out and do as I pleased, not have to worry about which security
guard is willing to accompany me, not have to worry about being mobbed.
I know I should be careful what I wish for, because, one day, this will
all come to an end. This industry, the pop market especially, is extremely
fickle. I'm constantly amazed that we've lasted this long, and, by the looks of
things, how long we will end up lasting in the long run. But no matter how
popular we are, how big our fan base is, there will come a day when we just
can't do it anymore.
It's so hard, sometimes, not to feel contempt for
my fans. They made me who I am, but at the same time, they've made my life
impossible. When I'm in Orlando, I barely leave my home. Not even a hat and
sunglasses works as a disguise anymore. More often than not, if one girls sees
me, she'll scream and start a mad rush.
That happend to me, a mad rush,
when I was, for once, alone and free of security. It was the scariest experience
of my life. They literally had me backed into a corner, and damned if I wasn't
afraid for my life.
Maybe because I'm the youngest the younger fans feel
more connected me, maybe it's just because I'm a pretty face. I know for a fact
that I have fans who stare at my pictures but rarely ever pop in a compact disc
and listen to my voice.
It makes me wonder. If I didn't have this face,
would they still listen to my voice? Or do the looks outweigh the talent? If
something happened to me, if I had a disfiguring accident, would they just stop
being there? So what if I'm 'hot'? Without true talent, I would never be where I
am today.
I live in a constant fear that I will do something wrong, that
I will upset someone, do or say something I shouldn't. I'm not allowed to have a
bad day, I'm not allowed to show when I'm feeling emotional stress. That's when
they turn on me, call me names, say I'm arrogant, full of myself.
I'm not
arrogant. I have stayed amazingly grounded through all of this. Do you know how
hard it is to keep your ego in check when thousands of girls scream practically
every time you breathe?
God forbid I show an emotion other than
happiness. God forbid I act like a person, and not a Stepford boy band member.
God forbid I be me.
But that's what I am. I am not perfect, I am
just me.
I'm Justin Timberlake, and that's all I
am.
This letter is just a reminder that the guys of *NSYNC are human. So they may be famous, they still have feelings just like you and I.
Now it's our job to fight back and make sure this doesn't happen to any of the guys again. Put this image on your site to show your support and show that you respect the guys for who they are. If you don't have a site, e-mail this page to your friends.
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