Wankery
courtesy of Jack
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Mmalade: he has an imported Naruto game!!! :-D
rodophyta: what?
rodophyta: no fucking way?
Mmalade: yeah, it was great
Mmalade: 3D 4-player simultaneous
rodophyta: oh my fucking god
rodophyta: no fucking way
rodophyta: we fucking have to get that game
rodophyta: NO FUCKING WAY!
rodophyta: OH GOD!
rodophyta: S
rodophyta: P
rodophyta: O
rodophyta: O
rodophyta: G
rodophyta: E
rodophyta: !
rodophyta: excuse me
rodophyta: my laptop is on my lap
rodophyta: I think I have to replace teh battery now
rodophyta: ANYWAY
Mmalade: did you look at the screenshots?
rodophyta: hold on
rodophyta: no
rodophyta: jesus fucking christ
rodophyta: SUPER SPPOOGE!
rodophyta: BLORSH!
Mmalade: yeah, cell shading is nice
rodophyta: nice?
rodophyta: nice?
rodophyta: that's it?
rodophyta: justin.... are you gay?
Mmalade: ...
Mmalade: no, jack, i am not
rodophyta: how are you not spooging all over your monitor looking at the screen shots?
This is referring to Jack's prediction following Game 2 of the Spurs-Lakers series that the Lakers would win in 6 (which they did). This was also said out in public, with ppl within earshot.
rodophyta: so I say to all the people who said the Lakers would get swept:
rodophyta: I STICK MY COCK IN ALL OF YOU!!!
Prlzvs: Jack, you're losing the battle against context.
rodophyta: anyway
rodophyta: can I borrow some condoms?
rodophyta: I'm using my right hand tonight
rodophyta: you know
rodophyta: I'm not sure where it's been
rodophyta: or how many partners its had
rodophyta: so....
rodophyta: I guess I could left-it
rodophyta: but
rodophyta: I'm thinking of trying a threesome
rodophyta: although
rodophyta: I hear those always end up fucking up the relationships
rodophyta: Ok
rodophyta: that's enough
rodophyta: abort and all
rodophyta: you had your chance to fail
rodophyta: but you didn't take advantage of it
rodophyta: hmmm....
rodophyta: I've successfully worked abort into my speach
rodophyta: next is retry
rodophyta: and then
rodophyta: FAIL!
rodophyta: FAIL! is like abort, except you use it on other people
Later in the conversation...
rodophyta: I think I'd have to kill him, if he existed
rodophyta: you know what?
rodophyta: ABORT!
Mmalade: yeah....
rodophyta: you should've failed that mofo
Mmalade: true true
Mmalade: i'll be on the lookout next time
rodophyta: ok
rodophyta: *cough*
rodophyta: *ahem*
rodophyta: so
rodophyta: what's up with clothespins?
Mmalade: clothespins?
rodophyta: dammit justin
rodophyta: you let me down
Mmalade: FAIL!
rodophyta: ok
rodophyta: ok
rodophyta: good
rodophyta: um
rodophyta: let's try that again
rodophyta: so
rodophyta: why are they called safety-pins if you poke yourselves with them?
rodophyta: that doesn't seem very safe
rodophyta: ...
Mmalade: FAIL!!!
rodophyta: ok
rodophyta: sweet
rodophyta: all cylinders are firing
Mmalade: but i've mostly been playing badminton this break
rodophyta: well
rodophyta: that's healthy and wholesome
rodophyta: and the badminton ladies are definitely bettter than the physics ladies
rodophyta: although
rodophyta: I guess that makes it less wholesome
rodophyta: or something
rodophyta: no
rodophyta: I guess it's still wholesome
rodophyta: I mean
rodophyta: if you're going to check out the ladies
rodophyta: and since you're a guy
rodophyta: of course you're going to check out the ladies
rodophyta: it's more wholesome if you're not checking out the physics ladies
rodophyta: that's definitely gross,
rodophyta: and unhealthy
rodophyta: and other stuff that creeps me out
Mmalade: it creeps you out and yet you still do it?
rodophyta: look, man
rodophyta: I can't hold myself responsible for my actions
Mmalade: haha
rodophyta: are you saying you've never had a conversation with yourself, where it's like
rodophyta: you: mmm... physics ladies
rodophyta: your brain: yuck. Hey man, what the fuck?
rodophyta: you: mmmm... physics ladies
rodophyta: your brain: hey, you better stop that, it's grossing me out
rodophyta: you: mmm.... I'd do her, and her, and her, and if that's a girl, her too....
Mmalade: lol
rodophyta: your brain: WHOA!
rodophyta: you: mmmm..... I'd do all of thenm
rodophyta: your brain: look, I'm not going to get involved, just tell me when you're done
rodophyta: left hand: does somebody need me?
rodophyta: OK!
rodophyta: that's definitely gone to far!
rodophyta: ABORT!
Mmalade: LOL
rodophyta: ABORT!
rodophyta: ABORT!
Ok, this quote has modified fonts and imitations of the other person. I'll bold stuff for my font, regular is Jack's font. And anything indented with > is an imitation.
rodophyta: I'm pretty sure dinoflagella=dinozoa
rodophyta: dinoflagella=terrible flagella
rodophyta: dinozoa=terrible life
rodophyta: thus
rodophyta: life = flagella
Mmalade: ...
rodophyta: what is the meaning of life?
Mmalade: 42
rodophyta: WRONG!
rodophyta: it's to waggle
Mmalade: ???
rodophyta: life = flagella
rodophyta: flagellas waggle
rodophyta: there like the tails on sperm, right?
rodophyta: so
rodophyta: the meaning of life is to waggle
rodophyta: waggle back and forth
Mmalade: interesting... 'proof'...
rodophyta: take those quotation marks off my proof, you jack-ass
Mmalade: and if i refuse? ;-)
rodophyta: I'll take them off for you
rodophyta: *cough*
rodophyta: ahem
rodophyta: Mmalade (10:33:12 PM): interesting... proof...
Mmalade: um... it's not even 10:33 yet...
rodophyta: or, how about this....
rodophyta: Mmalade (10:33:12 PM):
rodophyta: shit
rodophyta: dammit
rodophyta: !
rodophyta: no
rodophyta: not blue
rodophyta: ok
rodophyta: hold on
Mmalade: haha
rodophyta: Look at me, I'm rodophyta!
> Mmalade (10:37:55 PM): and I'm mmalade! I'm sorry for ever questioning your proof, jack. :-P
Mmalade: haha
Mmalade: pretty good
Mmalade: except that i don't use time stamps
rodophyta: i do
rodophyta: and
rodophyta: it worked
rodophyta: but now I have your font
Mmalade: yeah
Mmalade: you have to fix it
rodophyta: there's only one way to fix that
rodophyta: ERGH!***CHANGING FONT!****GRAHSHAG!
Mmalade: lol
rodophyta: there
rodophyta: done
rodophyta: hah
rodophyta: I win again, mr shah
Mmalade: haha
Mmalade: not that kind of shah :-P
rodophyta: I know
rodophyta: hsia kind of shah
rodophyta: hsiaman you
rodophyta: justin
rodophyta: oh man
rodophyta: that's the worst pun every
rodophyta: I'm sorry
Mmalade: ...
Mmalade: yeah, that's pretty bad
rodophyta: hsiaman you = shame on you
Mmalade: yeah, i got it
Mmalade: despite it's obscurity
rodophyta: ok
rodophyta: good good
Mmalade: lol
rodophyta: obscurity?
rodophyta: what?
Mmalade: hsiaman is more like shaman than shame on you
rodophyta: it's not [I] that [/I] obscure
rodophyta: don't give me that -___-" shit
rodophyta: you're not impressing anybody
Mmalade: i'm not trying to
Mmalade: -___-'''
rodophyta: well
rodophyta: one of us is trying to impress someone
rodophyta: if it's not you
rodophyta: it must be me
rodophyta: are you saying I'm trying to impress someone?
Mmalade: yeah, i guess so
rodophyta: dammit
rodophyta: I'm so transparent
rodophyta: I guess
rodophyta: the first time I really talked to you
rodophyta: it was like
rodophyta: your girlfriend came up
rodophyta: and you were like
rodophyta: *I'm so shy*
rodophyta: so instead of going somewhere
rodophyta: you for some reason
rodophyta: took her into evan and my room
rodophyta: I mean
Mmalade: showing her my suitemates
rodophyta: that *is* one of the highlights of berkeley
rodophyta: but still
Mmalade: like... zoo... animals... ;-) or something
Mmalade: j/k :-P
rodophyta: you should've been working your mojo
rodophyta: or whatever
rodophyta: and
rodophyta: FUCK YOU!
rodophyta: you fucker
Mmalade: -_-'''
rodophyta: ?
rodophyta: what does that mean?
Mmalade: it means you're not asian enough :-D
rodophyta: OH!
rodophyta: I see how it is
Mmalade: haha, j/k
rodophyta: exclusive
rodophyta: very exclusive
Mmalade: it's the teardrop thingy from anime
rodophyta: well, some day
rodophyta: I hope my children will be judged by the contents of their characters
rodophyta: and not the color of their skin
rodophyta: Dr Martin Luther King Jr
rodophyta: anyway
This is in reference to a poster for a workshop on safe sex that had "Sex and Candy" written in big letters on top.
rodophyta: Hm... I'm tempted to go to that
rodophyta: sex and candy
rodophyta: you can't go wrong
rodophyta: either one or the other is going to satisfy
rodophyta: ... unless the candy is flavored condoms
rodophyta: i'm a bit too male to enjoy that
rodophyta: That’s like saying someone without a left hand is lonely because he can’t masturbate.
rodophyta: MAN, Misty is hot!
rodophyta: I mean, just look at those short shorts, gay man suspenders, and short t-shirt
rodophyta: she's like a little boy asking to do be sodomized
rodophyta: cost to rent housing at berkeley
rodophyta: $150000
rodophyta: cost to get an appendectomy after eating the DC food
rodophyta: $2000
rodophyta: having access to super-fast T3 ethernet
rodophyta: priceless
later...
rodophyta: that cost, cost, priceless thing
rodophyta: it's pretty cliche
rodophyta: *shame*
rodophyta: man
rodophyta: I'm awesome
rodophyta: no
rodophyta: I'm an attention whore
rodophyta: I say anything
rodophyta: for attention
rodophyta: *shame*
rodophyta: man
rodophyta: you konw what sucks?
rodophyta: I have allergies to cats right?
rodophyta: well
rodophyta: one of the symptoms
rodophyta: is pimples inside my nose
Mmalade: o_O
Mmalade: uh... maybe that's too much info
rodophyta: well
rodophyta: it does suck
rodophyta: *sigh*
rodophyta: now I can't pick my nose
Mmalade: .............
rodophyta: well
rodophyta: I can't think of anything to top that
rodophyta: wait
rodophyta: how 'bout
rodophyta: it sure does make masturbation interesting, though
Overheard from the hallway...
"Do you know how much a guy would have to masturbate to do that? It’s like: spooge, spooge, spooge, spooge, spooge, spooge, ..."
This was in reference to the spooge-encrusted toilet seats at his high school. o_O
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