Mmalade - Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes

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Dan (roommate) just gave an old, semi-wilted flower to Winnie (suitemate).
Winnie: Why thank you! It smells like porridge.
Winnie: I love food.

Prlzvs: singapore teenage whores?
Prlzvs: so why do you also have female condoms
Prlzvs: and what's with the cervical cap in the middle pocket
Mmalade: you've been reading the health tips too thoroughly
Prlzvs: hey man
Prlzvs: I need to keep myself from impregnating the globe- I shall do so correctly
Mmalade: lol
Prlzvs: because since men produce a billion sperm in each shot- I could theoretically repopulate the globe in six tries
Mmalade: if somehow you could guarantee every sperm to hit its target
Prlzvs: they're heat seeking. Patriot Sperm
Prlzvs: computer guided

wabbitgurl2000: can you believe what teh sadies theme is
Mmalade: what is it?
wabbitgurl2000: HOEDOWN
wabbitgurl2000: wth..
Mmalade: o_O
wabbitgurl2000: can you imagine what the pictures are gonna look like?
wabbitgurl2000: lesse...a couple of haystacks
wabbitgurl2000: and uh...more hay
Mmalade: lol
wabbitgurl2000: and on the haystacks will be that fake food thats like in every single danc epic

chu bb ych owd a: wish i had a wax machine
chu bb ych owd a: ERR FAX MACHINE
Mmalade: LOL
chu bb ych owd a: jeez fax fax fax
Mmalade: subliminal messages? ;-)
chu bb ych owd a: LOL
chu bb ych owd a: alas..... no...
Mmalade: denial?
chu bb ych owd a: rite.... thats must be it

navyboy688: dOOd
navyboy688: i can't believe 2nd quarter's gonna start
Mmalade: haha, it's 2nd SEMESTER for me
Mmalade: think about it
Mmalade: i'm already 1/2 done o_O
navyboy688: damn you
Mmalade: hahahahahahahahaha
navyboy688: what you laughing fo?
Mmalade: i'm gloating
Mmalade: *gloating*
navyboy688: well........
navyboy688: i'll gloat when you guys start a month earlier than me
Mmalade: heh, you already had that chance
Mmalade: now it's our turn
Mmalade: here and later when we get out earlier :-D
navyboy688: well, i'm not looking foward to this summer
navyboy688: cause i have boot camp
Mmalade: heh, and whose fault is that?
navyboy688: mine i guess
navyboy688: but i'll learn how oto shoot
Mmalade: yeah, so i guess i should be shutting up right about now :-P
navyboy688: that's right
Mmalade: okie dokie then
navyboy688: lol

navyboy688: leslie doesn't go back til when?
Mmalade: tomorrow
Mmalade: er.. wednesday
navyboy688: lucky bastard
Mmalade: heh, it's only one day later than you
navyboy688: i won't even get started on you

navyboy688: call mike yeh
navyboy688: *yen
navyboy688: get him to come
navyboy688: cause that's the only way i can get a girl....
Mmalade: lol
navyboy688: only with pimpmaster mike yen

rayne122884: badminton tomorrow?
Mmalade: uh... maybe
rayne122884: :-o
rayne122884: "maybe?"
rayne122884: for badminton
rayne122884: are you ok?
Mmalade: haha, yeah
Mmalade: i'm hecka busy this week :-(
rayne122884: wow
rayne122884: too busy for badminton
Mmalade: yeah... sacrafices must be made >_<
rayne122884: that's like absolute zero...or infinity...or something just as abstract
Mmalade: lol

denuolnceptum: and you can sujck it
denuolnceptum: and sign my year book
denuolnceptum: cuz you haven't done that yet
Mmalade: lol
Mmalade: i'll make sure to "sujck it"
Mmalade: ;-)
denuolnceptum: suck it
denuolnceptum: you bastard
Mmalade: lol
denuolnceptum: >:o
Mmalade: no thank you mike
Mmalade: i'm sure you'd like that
Mmalade: but i'll have to pass :-D
denuolnceptum: PLEASE?!?!?!
denuolnceptum: itll feel so g ood
Mmalade: ...............................................
Mmalade: that's just wrong >_<

mLeEoRcA 1 9 8 4: oops, i dropped my nail between the key board
mLeEoRcA 1 9 8 4: now it's back on my finger

j EAK K SIFA ng: i need new badminton shews
j EAK K SIFA ng: hoes*
j EAK K SIFA ng: shies*
j EAK K SIFA ng: shoes*
j EAK K SIFA ng: woops
Mmalade: lol
j EAK K SIFA ng: typing's off
Mmalade: need new badminton hoes, eh? ;-)
j EAK K SIFA ng: yea
j EAK K SIFA ng: mine crapped out
Mmalade: er... that sounds kinda funny...
j EAK K SIFA ng: yea...there are rips at the sides
Mmalade: lol, care to reread the line I wrote? ;-)
j EAK K SIFA ng: hahahaha
j EAK K SIFA ng: ne wayz....
Mmalade: lol

Mmalade: hm... how has Monta Vista done so far this year?
phyreaway: I don't know.
phyreaway: I think Ann Ly is still there?
phyreaway: She did really well last year for GS.
Mmalade: good question
phyreaway: The real question is what they will do in defense against Jacquie.
Mmalade: I don't think this helps, but I saw Ann Ly a month or so ago at Verde :-D
phyreaway: If they put her in doubles, it's going to do lots of damage to us.
phyreaway: ...
phyreaway: Well, maybe you can be one of our agents or something.
phyreaway: Undercover PMT operative.
phyreaway: Almost sounds real...
Mmalade: lol
phyreaway: You need a new screen name.
phyreaway: pmt_operative
Mmalade: haha, no thanks
phyreaway: ;-)
phyreaway: Too geeky?
phyreaway: Too fobby?
Mmalade: lol, too WRONG
phyreaway: Doh.
phyreaway: Well at least it's not pms_operative. haha
Mmalade: LOL

phyreaway: There we go.
phyreaway: New ARF topic.
phyreaway: I was going to do nutrition, but doubles rotation is better to rant about.
Mmalade: HAHAHA
Mmalade: I'd like to see your nutrition one :-P
phyreaway: Oh, it's because people always talk to me about, "What should I eat before a match?"
phyreaway: It actually depends on the intensity and level of activity, as far as competetive sports go.
phyreaway: So I was going to post something about, "What you should eat, depends on how much you suck." or something like that.
phyreaway: It was going to be something like that. haha
phyreaway: People know I'm joking, so it's alright to be rude to a certain extent.

navyboy688: and we have to get a friggin corsage
navyboy688: my cost total is ~300 frickin $$
Mmalade: yeah...
Mmalade: but it's a once in a lifetime experience
Mmalade: especially for you ;-)
Mmalade: lol, j/k! :-D
navyboy688: gee, thanks
navyboy688: i think you've pierced my soft, neugety inside
navyboy688: yea, thats right

Today (2/23) at the badminton tournament, I was sitting next to Josh and Sarah and we were watching an A mens' doubles game:
Josh: Oh my goodness! Soooooooo sexy!
Justin: wha???
Josh: Their smashes. It's true; their smashes are hella sexy!"

This is about girls' varsity:
phyreaway: It also depends on who is going to try out.
phyreaway: Let's say everyone trys out.
phyreaway: *omitted*, *omitted*, *omitted*, *omitted*, *omitted*, *omitted*, Emry, *omitted*, *omitted*, *omitted*...
phyreaway: I think those might be Varsity candidates.
phyreaway: *omitted*
Mmalade: btw, it's "Amery" :-P
phyreaway: Ah right.
phyreaway: I knew a Emry from before.
Mmalade: i c
phyreaway: Now that I think about it, it was dude though.
Mmalade: lol

And this one's about boys' varsity:
phyreaway: Let's also look at some of our returning players. phyreaway: Seniors: Josh, Justin, Nathan, Mike, James, Sean, Brian.
phyreaway: Juniors: Brandon, Jeff Tan, Mark, Matt, Kevin Chen, Andrew Kim... and... who else was there...
Mmalade: Jason
phyreaway: Soph: Ruven, Raymond, Kevin Won, Jeff Chi, Davis, Kevin Lin.
phyreaway: Oh yeah, that guy.
Mmalade: LOL
phyreaway: Out of those, realistic Varsity candidates would be...
Mmalade: Davis, me, mike, josh, jiaxi, jason, brandon, nathan
Mmalade: that's 8 right there
phyreaway: *omitted*, *omitted*, *omitted*, *omitted*, *omitted*, *omitted*, *omitted*, *omitted*...
phyreaway: I forgot Jason again haha.
Mmalade: lol

Mmalade: but you wouldn't have a good Senior practice with JV for two weeks and then move up?
Mmalade: assuming that the Senior is obviously good to begin with
phyreaway: Well that's the thing.
phyreaway: If he can't move up - what am I supposed to do?
phyreaway: Cut him?
phyreaway: That's lame.
Mmalade: yeah, that's why I said that if he's clearly close to varsity
phyreaway: I honestly thought about that also, but the idea of having them go for a couple weeks, and then get cut is really mean.
phyreaway: It's like...
phyreaway: Hey, we had a good time while you were here, but we thought about it and... you really aren't good enough for us - later.
phyreaway: Or something like that.
Mmalade: haha, yeah
Mmalade: that's why I was wondering if you might bump a few "extra" spots up to Varsity automatically
phyreaway: That's the sort of thing you tell someone if you want your car torched, or your house TP'd.
Mmalade: lol

Mmalade (11:16:58 PM): great job yesterday! ;-)
Mmalade (11:26:20 PM): lol, did I play that poorly?
Mmalade (11:26:29 PM): do you never want to talk to me again or something? :-P
lildang34 (11:29:55 PM): heh
lildang34 (11:29:58 PM): i forgot i was online
lildang34 (11:30:01 PM): food
Mmalade (11:30:02 PM): LOL
Mmalade (11:30:36 PM): muching as always :-P
Mmalade (11:30:42 PM): *munching
lildang34 (11:30:43 PM): muching?
lildang34 (11:30:44 PM): heh
lildang34 (11:30:46 PM): yah

rayne122884: ah well...oh, btw
rayne122884: this is gonna sound slightly weird
rayne122884: and probably stupid, but
rayne122884: when is sadies?
rayne122884: might be a good idea to know what day to pick up my date

rayne122884: hey, just curious....
rayne122884: who do you think's gonna win tomorrow?
Mmalade: lol
rayne122884: well?
Mmalade: hm... haven't really been following
rayne122884: =-O
Mmalade: :-P o well
Mmalade: I'll say Raiders
Mmalade: why not? ;-)
rayne122884: yeesh.... it's the classic case of the #1 offense vs. the #1 defense!!!
rayne122884: you could at least show a bit more enthusiasm
Mmalade: lol, too bad
Mmalade: it's not badminton-related ;-)
rayne122884: lol

This is from Heather's profile:
the spanish final: i love guessing games

Ok, after "conditioning," we drive to Subway (around 4:45). Marc orders a 12" sandwich and drink; I get a bag of chips.
Justin: So, is that dinner or just a snack?
Marc: This? This is a snack. It's just vegetables. (pause) But I'm sick right now.
J: Um... people usually eat LESS when they're sick.
M: Yeah, I know.
J: (laughing) What's wrong with you?

Later on in that same conversation.
Josh: (to Aluma) Do guys get boners when they wrestle girls?

Marc's "snack" count for the day:
12" Subway sandwich
Peppers off of Josh and Aluma's sandwiches
Josh's bag of chips
However many doughnuts he bought after we left.

lol, this was kinda random in physics...
Leslie: Ooo! "Smallville" tonight!
Justin: We all know why you watch it. ;-)
L: Yeah. Tom Welling... of course.
J: Naw, KK, right? ;-)
L: Most people think so, but no; she's not that pretty.
J: Ahhhh! i c! Saving yourself for someone? :-P
L: (turning away) no... I actually think Superman is hot!
J: =-O Whoa there...
L: Haha. No, it's not about Kristin Kreuk -- it's about Clark Kent's mom! (pause) >_< I can't believe I just said that...

Today (1/8) during GRT, Josh L. and I started talking about badminton... (paraphrased, obviously)
Me: So what're you playing this year?
Josh: I thought I told you already: everything!
Me: Who's going to be your partner for mixed?
...
Josh: I'll just pimp one!

elizyma: what will we be doing in try outs tho?
elizyma: YOU DON'T KNOW???
elizyma: I'M FREAKIN SCARED!!!
elizyma: I'm the most OUTTA SHAPE PERSON IN THE WORLD!!!
elizyma: WHAT DO I DO????
elizyma: AHHHHHH!!!!
elizyma: I HATE RUNNING!!!

s n r k l buddy: have i shown you their web page?
s n r k l buddy: http://www.bintangbadminton.com/eliteTeam.htm
s n r k l buddy: d00d
s n r k l buddy: that website sounds hecka stuck up
Mmalade: lol, no kidding
s n r k l buddy: yah, the "elite team"
Mmalade: lol
s n r k l buddy: we should form our own academy
s n r k l buddy: the gunn academy
s n r k l buddy: with coach jason mei
Mmalade: LOL
Mmalade: we should :-P
s n r k l buddy: :-D

Mleeorca1984: I AM GOING TO DRINK a HUUUUUGE cup of PMT
Mleeorca1984: btw, and i DO mean a HUUUUUGE cup
Mleeorca1984: in tw.... there are actually sizes
Mleeorca1984: and the size for large is like the double amt. of the PMT here!!!
Mleeorca1984: and they costs not over one US dollar
Mleeorca1984: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Mleeorca1984: me 'n my PMT....
Mleeorca1984: *dancing around celebrating*
Mleeorca1984: *singing* lalalalalalalalalalalala
Wow... that's kinda scary... :-P

UnLiMiTEd Mp: justin hsia's grades: 400$
UnLiMiTEd Mp: bribing the driving tester: 200$
UnLiMiTEd Mp: justin's "..." : priceless
Mmalade: lol
UnLiMiTEd Mp: also priceless: spying on justin's female friends
UnLiMiTEd Mp: O:-)
UnLiMiTEd Mp: i mean nothing...
Mmalade: >:o>:o>:o
UnLiMiTEd Mp: like i said
UnLiMiTEd Mp: O:-) priceless

UnLiMiTEd Mp: quiet beefalo!
Mmalade: beefalo???
UnLiMiTEd Mp: =D
UnLiMiTEd Mp: mmm beefalo
Mmalade: ???
UnLiMiTEd Mp: they normally travel in herds and sometimes interact with the beeralo :-)
Mmalade: ...
UnLiMiTEd Mp: whatalo?
UnLiMiTEd Mp: :-P
*sigh* Don't askalo 'cause I don't knowalo. :-P

thewriteofspring: ur profile is full of cuteness.
Mmalade: lol, my links?
thewriteofspring: yeah.
Mmalade: i realized
thewriteofspring: pokey-fuzzy sweet *purr* cuteness.
Haha, that's an interesting way to describe it! :-)

lildang34: you suck!!!
Mmalade: LOL
Mmalade: huh? O:-)
lildang34: you misquoted me too
Mmalade: did I? how?
lildang34: mike is a poom, BUT a cute poo
Mmalade: o, my bad
Mmalade: I'll make sure to change it to "poom" ;-):-P
lildang34: ashhhh
lildang34: dsljjgfkds
lildang34: no no no no no
lildang34: poo
lildang34: so mean
Mmalade: haha, I'm j/k!

Mleeorca1984: there's something wrong with me... it seems like watever i say always entertains others.... :-P

Mleeorca1984: does mike have abs?

lol, I am quoting Heather Dang exactly here! No joke!
"He [Mike] has a nice body!"
"Mike is a POO -- but a cute poo ... with nice abs."
Hm... could there be something there??? ;-) :-P

Princess Yaz 01: jon surrounded by girls: (^~^) (^~^) (^~^) ( o_O) (^~^) (^~^) (^~^)

rayne122884: so now all of the ppl are wearing skimpy clothes and trying to save tidus
rayne122884: lucky bastard
Mmalade: lol
rayne122884: especially if you see the pic i have of yuna
Mmalade: um... what pictures are you looking for??? ;-)
rayne122884: ;-)
Mmalade: lol
rayne122884: right now i got this one tho...i think it looks good
rayne122884: now if you start quoting me like you do with jon, i'm gonna kill you
Mmalade: LOL
Mmalade: too late :-P
rayne122884: ....

mochz R: wait a sec
mochz R: that's retarded
mochz R: it says 4 yrs english
mochz R: but u can only put in 6 semesters
mochz R: & the app can't add the courses either... it needs u to do 1+1+1+1+1+1 = 6
Haha, problems with the Cal State application.

?We're Asians; we don�t know typical American sports,?said Eric Hui, a senior cross-country runner from Hong Kong. �We just do badminton and tennis. Too bad they don�t have pingpong.?
- Almond, Elliott. �A New Mission.? San Jose Mercury News 17 Nov. 2002, A1.

UnLiMiTEd Mp: haha, justin.
UnLiMiTEd Mp: i'm looking at the quote counter
UnLiMiTEd Mp: it should be like this
UnLiMiTEd Mp: Joyce Pan: 24
UnLiMiTEd Mp: Jonathan Yu: 28
UnLiMiTEd Mp: Jeremy Lim: 2 million!
UnLiMiTEd Mp: (u knoe keep it up with the J names;-))
UnLiMiTEd Mp: JOYCE, JONATHAN, JEREMY, (u , urself = justin)
UnLiMiTEd Mp: somekinda J fetish
UnLiMiTEd Mp: ^_^ heh
haha, I've never heard of a letter fetish before!

Auto response from navyboy688: shower
Mmalade: yeah, that's right navy boy
Mmalade: scrub-a-dub-dub navy boy! ;-)
Mmalade: you got model battleships in there, too???
Mmalade: maybe a lifesaver just in case? ;-):-P
navyboy688: yes
navyboy688: i got a lifesaver AND a battleship!
navyboy688: ;-) :-P
Mmalade: lol
Mmalade: and a sailor's cap on?
navyboy688: yeah, i'm a navy freak
navyboy688: and PROUD OF IT!!!!
Mmalade: and a crew standing watch -- er... outside?
Mmalade: ;-)
navyboy688: not that......
navyboy688: that's nasty
lol, we have the TRUE navy boy! ;-)

Mleeorca1984: so... which body do you like it better?
Mleeorca1984: mike pan's?
Mleeorca1984: josh chen's?
Mleeorca1984: or... the "soft" skinned boy
Mleeorca1984: i'm sure it's the soft skinned boy
Mleeorca1984: since his skin feels SOOO SOOOOFT
IS THERE SOMETHING I NEED TO KNOW MICHELLE!?!?!?! >:o >:o >:o lol, j/k! ;-)

UnLiMiTEd Mp: yeah so any ways
UnLiMiTEd Mp: here at LAHS i'm big pimping
UnLiMiTEd Mp: hence "unlimited mp = unlimited mega pimping"
Uh... whatever you say, Jeremy... If you're really that desperate...

navyboy688: gr....
navyboy688: michelle spilled her guts
navyboy688: i am going to unleash the full fury of hell upon you

n m055: how about "college AAAHHHHpps"
Mmalade: lol
Mmalade: that works too

n m055: heh i have barely any awards and recognitions...im gonna end up putting down crap like "2nd grade - room 9 chess club co-champion"
n m055: 4th grade - lunch time winner: Loudest Belch
n m055: maybe, if i cant impress the application ppl, i can at least give them a laugh

Mmalade: how are you doing on college crap?
Mmalade: er... I mean apps?
Mmalade: lol
Mmalade: I should call them "crapps" from now on! ;-)
Yes! Everybody! From now on they are known as "college crapps!" :-P

DanielHui: =-O oh
DanielHui: how scandalous
DanielHui: like brandon in a pink bikini scandalous
Mmalade: !?!
Mmalade: not that scandalous
Mmalade: definitely not that scandalous
DanielHui: but pretty close
Mmalade: *shiver*
DanielHui: haha, made you imagine it
DanielHui: ne-neer-ne-neer-ne-neer
Mmalade: >:o

This is from Cecilia's Xanga page:
Expertise: (X.x)o-(*.*Q)

wabbitgurl2000: i have a feeling some part of this will goign into someone's profile..
Mmalade: lol
Mmalade: yup! ;-)
wabbitgurl2000: haha
wabbitgurl2000: dont worry, i have more of your stupidity to post too!
Mmalade: hey! >:o

wabbitgurl2000: besides..i can sing too!
wabbitgurl2000: i can give myself a concert!
wabbitgurl2000: hehe
Mmalade: in your room
wabbitgurl2000: which i have been doing for like the past 15 mins anyways
wabbitgurl2000: yep
Mmalade: with no audience
wabbitgurl2000: and my parents and brothers hear it!
Mmalade: heh
wabbitgurl2000: yep!
wabbitgurl2000: and they are free too
wabbitgurl2000: hehe
Mmalade: haha
Mmalade: but you only get to hear yourself sing
Mmalade: wouldn't you want to hear others?
wabbitgurl2000: i like to hear myself sing!
wabbitgurl2000: :-P
wabbitgurl2000: i get to admire my voice!
wabbitgurl2000: haha

mochz R: justin longs for a real math class
mochz R: "Where's my DE Calc?"
mochz R: n000000

wabbitgurl2000: AAAAAAAH!!!!
wabbitgurl2000: no fair...my mom and my bro are playing badminton outside..
wabbitgurl2000: hmph..
wabbitgurl2000: I WANNA PLAY
Mmalade: why don't you join them?
wabbitgurl2000: tennis
wabbitgurl2000: ugh..
Mmalade: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mmalade: I mock you and this "tennis" you speak of! :-P

wabbitgurl2000: and he says mr. ja lala (the sports director dude) is a hard person to deal with
lol, it's JACOBOWSKI!

wabbitgurl2000: darn..i didnt see you at hc
wabbitgurl2000: i wanted to see you dance
Mmalade: lol
Mmalade: no you don't
Mmalade: trust me
Mmalade: ;-)
wabbitgurl2000: yes i do
wabbitgurl2000: cuz then i get to LAUGH and LAUGH and LAUGH

mmalade: >_<
phyreaway: that's a really japanese face
mmalade: really?

During badminton training at Paly, Brandon laid this monster fart while watching Josh and Heather play. Even Josh, who was on the other side of the court, could smell it!!! =-O

"Happiness is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth inside :-)"
- Ken (Josh L.'s cousin)

the2AMstudygroup: my love for you is like a fart
the2AMstudygroup: it is powerful and comes from deep within

JoshLin33: actually, you're not a dork
JoshLin33: you're just a dickfor
Denuolnceptum: lets not think about that
Denuolnceptum: huh
Denuolnceptum: what havey ou been thinking about?
Denuolnceptum: wait, whats a dickfor
JoshLin33: hehe. coo
JoshLin33: you dont know whats a dickfor?
JoshLin33: of all people, you should know the most!
Denuolnceptum: shut up
Denuolnceptum: you suck
Denuolnceptum: i hate that
Denuolnceptum: i hate you
JoshLin33: haha
Denuolnceptum: that is sooo stupid
JoshLin33: oh man... profile time
Denuolnceptum: you know, thats liek the fifth tiem i have fallen for that too
Denuolnceptum: dang it
Denuolnceptum: the first four were verbal too
JoshLin33: haha
Denuolnceptum: CrAP!!!!!
JoshLin33: seriously, mike
JoshLin33: haha

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