This goose king is seeking humanitarian help. Until recently, he presided over the Heather Gardens Golf Course providing nitrates for the soil whether it needs them or not. It seems as though his eyesight's so poor that he can't differentiate between unfertilized grass and walkways the residents use on their way to the clubhouse. Is there any goose lover out there willing to help this poor aging gander? For a mere $100,000 we can give him cataract surgery that would allow him to regain 20:20 goose-vision. (Dr. Trifocal indicates that goose vision and human vision don't normally equate.)

Mother Goose (King Goose's wife) has problems reading the calendar. As a result, she hatched two little goslings just before her scheduled migration. However, she is a responsible goose. She and King Goose stayed in Aurora to take care of their goslings. It seems that she took aspirin when she thought she was taking the pill. If $100,000 is collected in time, both geese will have cataract surgery during early September.