WARING this site has some jokes that may offend some people with imported cars. if u can't take a joke plz leave now.im not saying all imports are slow and ugly.im talking about the ones people have put a body kit a wing and a fart pipeexhaust pipe on there enco car there mom used to drive and calling it fast for those of u who dont what what the term ricer is heres a picture of one
You have aftermarket FRONT wheels for racing but stock rear wheels.
Your engine makes twice as much horsepower as torque.
You ever painted your wheels to match the same color of your car.
You put your automatic car in neutral at every stoplight in order to roll it back and try to fool other people into thinking you have a manual transmission
DuPont gave up trying to figure out the shade you were asking for.
Your mod list includes stereo equipment, shifter handle, MOMO steering wheel, PIA driving lights, exhaust tip, but no REAL engine parts.
A chameleon lizard undergoes fewer shade changes than your custom paint scheme.
Your tires / rims stick out from the lip of your car by more than 1".
Your paint job is from the WRONG end of the color spectrum.
You installed spacers on your STOCK wheels and tires to get them to stick out past the fender.
You see cars like yours in a Shriner's Parade for Children and clowns are driving them.
You bring an empty Maxwell House coffee can with you to compare size when you shop for an aftermarket exhaust system.
Your Eclipse GS-T hardtop has a "SPYDER" emblem on the rear...
Your sum knowledge of suspension is: "the more negative camber, the better the handling."
You push your car through the staging lanes. That way, maybe you can break into the 16s by keeping the motor cool between runs.
You add a super tall rear wing, and a hundred pounds of aftermarket ground effects, neon and stereo yet you gut the interior and yank out the rear seat for weight savings.
You cut 4 coil springs and scrape the chassis on the ground. Sparks are cool when you corner at normal traffic speeds! .
You install clear corner and brake lights.
You ever put neon on the bottom of your car, and then busted it on the first speed bump you went over.
You painted the UNDERBODY of your car to match
If your rear spoiler is taller then you are.
If your tailpipe extension is the most expensive mod you’ve done to your engine yet.
Your tailpipe extension fell off during a quarter mile race and you went three tenths of a second faster due to weight savings.
You spent $5,000 on the engine and you can not out run a stock Camaro, Firebird, or Mustang
You want the 'wastegate' sound, but don't want to install a turbocharger system.
You think Nitrous Oxide on your Hyundai Sonata puts you in the same performance league as the Chevy Corvette.
If the 1970 Plymouth Daytona Superbird has a smaller spoiler than your car does.
You think the Del Sol is a sports car...
You think a deep farty noise = the sound of high performance
If you think that horsepower is far more important than torque
If you have ever claimed that switching to a cone filter has given you more than 50 HP.
If you have ever considered installing more than one set of fog / driving lights.
If you claim that the aftermarket cold air intake system you just installed doubled your horsepower
Your baseball cap is always on backwards when you drive (the first sign of mental retardation, wearing your clothes backwards... ).
You spent all night on the Internet trying to find a company that makes a turbocharger system for your Hyundai...
If you removed your side view mirrors and put them at the TOP of the door / window frame.
If you think the Fugees are 'speed' music.
MOMO is 'absolutely required' to go fast.
Your four cylinder has a dual exhaust system installed.
Your four cylinder has four exhaust pipes ("Hey, one for each cylinder!")
The color of your interior upholstery hurts the cones and rods in other people's eyes.
If you cannot drive your car in snow as the ground effects create a plow effect.
If you have installed driving lights to compensate for headlight blackouts / tape.
If you have stickers on your car for parts that you could not point out if asked where those parts are installed.
You think pushrods are a bad thing…
Your car has more decals than you do the quarter in seconds.
Every Honda you EVER owned, all the way back to your 1978 Accord was either a V-Tec or a TYPE-R.
You took your rear seat out and gutted your interior for weight savings but you installed 400 pounds of electronics, neon, DVD, Sony, etc.
If you gutted the interior to save weight on a car that you will never take to the track…
You lean your seat so far back when you are driving, that everytime you hit a bump, its your back and not your butt that hurts.
You have hydraulics and sixteen switches on a car you claim runs low 10s on the street and corners better than a Porsche.
You claim that you can get a titanium block for your engine.
If you have ever thought Hyundai and "performance" went hand in hand
If you've ever gone to a parts shop or speed warehouse and asked for a 1" to 6" exhaust adapter...
If you've ever contemplated adding "TYPE-R" stickers to your Sonata…
If you've removed more than 1/2 of the coils from your springs by cutting them yourself ...
If you have more neon lights on your car than a strip club...
You put Kanji on your Ford ZX2, Ford Probe, or Mercury Cougar ...
You own a "TYPE-R" Hyundai or Mazda.
You couldn't afford headlight masking, so you just painted them with flat black Krylon and it's peeling. Badly.
You own a V-TEC Hyundai or Mazda (especially a V-TEC rotary engined Mazda RX-7)
You ever claimed that high gas mileage made your car superior in performance to V8s.
If it takes you 8000rpm to reach 30mph from a dead stop at WOT.
You think yellow plastic interior trim makes your car cool
You spend $500 for a giant hand welded tube for a muffler with the weld marks extremely visible
If you paint your drum brakes to simulate Hi-po calipers
If you install fake hi-po caliper / disc simulators You have a front wing.
If you lower your car and add ground effects but retain the stock 14inch wheels with disc style wheel covers
If you equate the sound of performance with the sound of a Weed Eater™
If you think bolting a fake muffler to one side to simulate dual exhaust is cool
If you think colored head lights work better Clear tail lights and turn signals. They’re colored for a REASON!
If you take mom's 4 door Honda accord and do any kind of mod to it
You drive a Ford Escort station wagon with Kanji, wide tires, and Limp Bizkit stickers on the rear hatch
You claim how if you went from a roll you would have beat him.
You claim you lost because you missed a shift... and your car is an automatic.
You claim you lost because he must have been on the juice..
Flying past the person who is 10 car lengths in front of you after they have put on their brakes.. and claim a victory.
after losing you flip your opponent off... rev your motor and fail to break the wheels loose even around a corner.
Tell everyone about how you lost the cop because of your "driving skills".
you are a white kid driving an import.. wear baggy pants/hat turned around, walk with a fake limp and end every sentence with "yew know wha I'm sayin? Relate."
Your idea of aiming a handgun is raising your arm over your head, pointing the gun away from you, and then just letting your wrist fall to the side to where the gun is almost sideways ...
drive around in a $20,000 import with $10,000 in mods.. and still live with your parents.
You can relate to every line of the song "Pretty Fly For A White Guy" by the Offspring
you take offense when I say.. "your sister is like your car.. small, tight and relatively easy to get into."
Ricer's are like tampons...every pussy's got one
Ok.so ive shown u guys the cars i do like mostly all american muscle.
frist the chevelle wagon SS.
next up the 70 1/2 camaro a very sexy car
email me at camarokid07@yahoo.com
IM me at camarokid07@aim
