Alright, this entire shit started
out when i was bussin' my ass going to toy stores looking for items to
circuit bend. As I'm leafing through the random bullshit in all of
these stores I'm thinking, "What the
fuck? Where's all the killer shit like giant popcorn kernels eating
themselves and lions enfused with
cyborg heads with bitches frawlin' on their arms?" I find that I'm
even more disgusted with the
random bullshit I find on the internet. So I, Alex/ShackMaster/Professor
of Awesome/Ambassador
of the, took the initiatitve to rock these toys up to par for maximum bizzaro-enjoyment.
New bullshit
will be added as I see fit, and if that doesn't rock your ass then I will
see it fit. "Neener, neener,
neener. The dog's with the man's cat's cradle. We all lived happily
there-in-out after. Enjoy."
First, we have this stupid fucking mirror. The "Disney Princess Light-Up
Talking Mirror":
Now this isn't some "ordinary" mirror. This shit, and I do mean shit
in the meta-physical sense (sucka), will have some random Disney
bitch talk to you as if you ate too many cupcakes. I'm sure they say,
"We have fairies the side of your head fatty, go suck on some
eggs you giant piece of corn." What the fuck, I was expecting something
awesome. So i ammend that shit like this pops up, you know
REAL thug stuff man, serious:
With this shit, your child will grow up to rock, ride, and slide across
a fuckin' car with the fuzz ridin' their ass, "Mama George
we alive, WE ALIVE!"