Take a sick day from school
To be honest, this is a little somethin' somethin' I threw together after I used this sick day idea I had.
Just so everyone knows, this was inspired by Ferris Bueller after watching it last night. I figured, "Why
not fake sick myself?" So I did. By the way, if you haven't at least heard of "Ferris Bueller's Day Off",
you go shoot yourself. Please. Do us all a favor.
I am 16 and go to school in Michigan. I obviously have some good computer knowledge (i am making this
after all), and I love video games with a passion. I also play football, and do swimming and track.
That about sums it up so my crappy intro is over.
If you're still reading this, you're a moron.
The Gist of It
Okay, so you're ready to be able to take a well deserved sick day. Good. What we will be making today
is artificial throw-up. Sounds nasty, you say? That's the point! You will need ingredients, but I'll
get to those later. You will have to chew it, but don't worry! The "puke" is made of food, so it's alright.
And it is best to apply the made throw-up at night. Late night. All will make sense later.
1. Cookies (no chocolate chip)
3. Leftover Breakfast Sausage (optional)
Okay! I hope you're ready to start. Chew the popcorn up really good in your mouth. until is in a viscousy
(thick, but runny) like state. Then put in the cookie small chunks at a time and chew until mixed with the
viscous popcorn. If you opted to use breakfast sausage, make sure it has been cooked at least once and that
it was refigerated/frozen. If it was frozen, then thaw it out a bit. Chew it up like the last two things.
Now on to the final step!
Before spitting it out, strategize about where to "barf" the stuff. I suggest the bed, my mom was convinced
from the second I said that's where it was. Or you can say the toilet, but that is unoriginal and common.
Also remember that the best time to do this at night. Nothing panics a parent like, "Mom, I threw up on my bed,"
at 3:30 AM. When you spit it out, spit it slowly. And if your mom/dad wants to take you to the doctor's, tell
them that all you need to do is sleep. You're sure to be fine if you take a motrin and sleep. If you have a
stay-at-home parent, you should get some extra sleep, then go watch TV and play games later. If they both
work, then you have free reign of your house. If you can find a way to leave, that's great. Do it.
Have fun attempting to execute this. Oh, and don't let your parents see this page.
If you have any questions at all, feel free to email me at DarkEntity07@aol.com.
Be sure to title the subject as "Sick Day" or something like that.