I don't own One Piece or it's characters; that's the good fortune of Eiichiro Oda.  But the way the words go together - that's all mine.

==============

23. La Vie Pirate (Party's) (was La Vie Boheme (Life Cafe))

(Makino is surprised and appalled when the Luffy Pirates show up at her door.  She glances back into the bar and tries to keep Luffy from entering.)

Makino:
No please no
Not tonight, please, no
Luffy - can't you go-
Not tonight - can't you see?

Luffy:
What?

Makino:
Go please go
You (hissing: Marines…)
I said no!
'Important' customer!

Luffy:
What am I? Just a blur?

Makino (loudly, in case anyone is wondering why she's preventing a customer from entering):
You sit all night - you never buy!

Luffy:
That's a lie! That's a lie!
I had the special the other day.

Makino:
You never pay.

Luffy:
Oh yeah.

(Smoker and his Marines step out of the shadows.)

Nami:
What! Captain Smoker is here?

Vivi:
Oh no!

Guys (ignoring the danger):
Wine and beer!

Luffy (blinks):
I'm hungry.
We'll stay.

Makino, Nami, Vivi:
Oi vey!

Smoker:
What brings the Pirate King (in his own mind)
To Party's Bar?
I would like to propose a toast
To Nami's little scheme.
It went well.

Nami:
Go to hell.

Smoker:
Were all the pirate scum fleeced?
Hope you aren't too attached
You aren't keeping a single gold piece.

Zoro:
Why did Buffy - ?

Smoker:
Hina.

Zoro:
Miss the show?

Smoker:
An important Marine quit
If you must know.

Usopp:
Who quit?

Smoker:
Our doctor -

Luffy, Sanji, Zoro:
Chopper.

Smoker (to Chopper, who is 'hiding' behind Luffy):
Chopper - I'm surprised.
A bright but weak reindeer like you
Hangs out with these pirates
who don't adhere to the law.

They commit crimes - yet I'm the one
Attempting to do some good.
Or do you really want a world
Where pirates do whatever the hell they like?

One Piece, One Piece
Is a dream inside your head.
This is Loguetown.
Gold Roger is DEAD.

Luffy (removes his hat solemnly):
Dearly Beloved. We gather here to pay our respects.

(Usopp and Sanji do the Tibetan Chant of the Dead in the background.)

Luffy (mock solemn, raises his glass to a picture of Gold Roger on the wall):
Here he died.
No one knew his worth
The late great pirate of our dear earth!
On this night, where we stand upon his turf
In this little port of buccaneers…
We raise our glass -
YOU BET YOUR ASS TO
LA VIE PIRATE!

All:
La Vie Pirate
La Vie Pirate
La Vie Pirate
La Vie Pirate

Luffy:
To sunny days and sailing!
Having fun, to weeks of
doing nothing
To never repress
To eating anything
To going against the grain
Going insane
Going mad…

To having friends, no ends,
and 100 ways to bend,

Nami:
Willing to lend …

Luffy:
And to defend
Any island
Not to mention of course
My mysterious mom and dad!

Nami:
To getting away with another pirates' loot!

Sanji:
To suits!

Chopper (changing forms rapidly in succession):
To no absolutes.

Zoro (with large glass of vodka):
To Absolut!

Usopp:
To Choice!

Nami (with newspaper):
To the East Blue Voice!

Luffy:
To any pirate flag!
To being an us for once, instead of a them!

All:
La Vie Pirate
La Vie Pirate

Nami:
Is all our treasure on the ship now?

Vivi:
Not yet Nami.

Nami: (checks watch)
You gotta pick up the pace.

Baroque Works Agent (staring at Vivi):
I think I know that face…

Sanji (looming over the Agent in a very ominous way):
Ahem.

Agent (hastily coming up with an excuse):
Hey mister, she looks like my sister!

Makino:
So that's five miso soup, four seaweed salad, three meat burger dinner, two hot dog platter and one pasta with lotsa meat balls

Chopper:
Hey.

Usopp (to Luffy):
Is that all for you?

Luffy:
Darn right it is.

Usopp:
I can't believe this guy.

Makino:
And thirteen orders of fries.  Is that it here?

All:
Wine and beer!

Zoro:
To hand crafted swords made in local forgeries.

Sanji:
To Patti, to Carne, to the kuso old Jiji.

Usopp:
To slingshots, to pellets, big ole' cannonballs,
To fighting scary pirates and really close calls!

Zoro:
Log Poses, Long noses
To being lost at sea
Island vacations

Sanji:
Amazing Food Creation!

Chopper:
Compassion,

Nami:
To fashion, to cash! (when it's new)

Luffy:
To Buggy

Sanji:
To Don Krieg

Nami:
To any cool tattoos!

Luffy and Usopp:
To Whitebeard, Blackbeard, Hyena Bellamy!

Usopp:
Captain Kuro

Luffy:
Crocodile!

Nami:
To the sea!
To treasure

Sanji (to Nami):
To pleasure

Luffy:
And to my rockin' crew!

Luffy and Zoro:
Why ole Roger and his crew, they entered the Grandline to blow off the Marines!

All:
La Vie Pirate!

Nami (to Vivi, who's still lugging treasure):
And count it twice before you pack it up.

Vivi (glumly, but obediently):
Yes Nami.

Nami:
Well, hurry back.

Sanji (who has caught the BW agent eyeing Vivi again):
Your sister?

BW Agent:
Take it easy, mister!

Johnny and Yosaku (who had been drinking in a corner):
BROTHERS!

Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Chopper, and Usopp:
Integrity, morality, to our principles,
Having the gall, answ'ring the call,
Jaws!
Flaunting the law!
Plundering, pillaging, despoiling,
Are what we stop the villains from doing
Because we're the heroes!

All:
To being free, insurgency, impunity, liberty!
Devil Fruit! Sky Island! And One Piece!

Sanji: (toasting the women)
To no shame
To every beautiful dame.
(steps up on table, raises glass high)
To ONEE-SAMA!

All:
To the best of friends!
To the very end!
To NAKAMA!

All:
La Vie PIRATE!

(Smoker's walk talkie squawks.)

Hina's Voice:
Back up! Back up! Back up!

Smoker:
Dammit, not now!
(He and the Marines leave the bar to help Hina.)

Usopp:
To honor the death of Gold Roger, an impromptu performance will commence immediately after dinner. Miss Wednesday, clad in hypnotic clothing, will perform her perfume dance to the sounds of a battle saxophone.

Zoro:
Sanji will preview his newest culinary creation - a jello mold in the shape of the Pirate King's face!

Sanji:
Nami-san, the best thief on the Grandline, just back from her one-night engagement on the docks of Loguetown will soon be surveying the local topography in order to draw the most perfect map of the world - a state of perfection rivaled only by her glorious beauty!

(Cut to outside the bar. Smoker and Tashigi meet up.)

Smoker:
Tashigi, it's 'bout time you showed up.

Tashigi:
Forgive me, sir.

Smoker:
There's something we have got to discuss.

Tashigi:
What is it, sir?

cont