I don't own One Piece or it's characters; that's the good fortune of Eiichiro Oda.  But the way the words go together - that's all mine.

==============

Sanji rolled it over in his mind again and again.  Why?  Why was there no justice?  Then he realized that there had to be a catch.  Usopp couldn't have gotten a normal girl.  There had to be something wrong with her!

He began gathering information about Usopp's mystery woman.

"So she was sickly?" Sanji asked Nami-san.

Nami was only listening with half an ear and concentrated on painting her toenails.  "Yeah.  Poor girl."

"Mental illness?" That would explain everything.

"Er.  No.  Physical; some kind of wasting disease."

"But not ugly." Sanji wanted to be perfectly clear on this point.

"No…" Had no chest on her though, Nami thought.  "Why are you so curious, Sanji-kun?"

"I merely want to know more about our sponsor," Sanji said gallantly.  "So how did she and Usopp meet?"

Nami smiled ruefully. "Against all odds is the best way to describe it.  She was stuck inside because of her illness and he just started coming around, I guess.  Those guys at the mansion didn't like him anywhere near her though.  Usopp had a reputation for being a troublemaker."

Troublemaker?  Sanji was contemplating the idea of Usopp 'being a troublemaker' as opposed to simply 'being annoying' so he didn't hear Nami say, "Really he was the only friend she had."

When Nami looked up, Sanji was gone.

==================

A young woman sleeps.  At the moonlit window, a figure looms and slowly begins to slide open the sash. The woman wakes and gasps.

Who's there?

Me, says the ominous figure.

You shouldn't be here.

I shouldn't be here. But I am. The figure steps through the window.  I've come to tell you a bedtime story.

No, it's too dangerous, the woman whispers.  A hint of nervous excitement tinges her voice.

The figure stalks across the room towards her.

Danger means nothing to me.

There is the squeak of bedsprings and a breathy sigh.

You're so bad.  Usopp…

*****************************

A terrified scream tore open the silence of the night.  Sanji flipped out of his hammock and landed on the floor.

"Shut up," someone muttered.

Sanji climbed back into his bed and stared at the ceiling.  It was some time before he fell back into an uneasy slumber.

====================================

Later in the week…

Everyone was in great spirits when they left the Going Merry at the dock.  Luffy, Nami, Usopp, Chopper, and Sanji went into the port city to get supplies and sight-see.  Nico Robin had offered to stay behind to keep an eye on the ship and Zoro had silently elected to stay behind to keep an eye on her.

"I can't wait to eat," Usopp declared.  He'd had to force down a couple day's worth of meals that he despised.  When he'd complained to Sanji, the cook had said something about supplies being low.

Chopper was in his reindeer form so that he wouldn't arouse suspicion - or be mistaken for a stuffed animal again. "I'll find you something that will help you sleep better, okay?" Chopper said to Sanji.  Sanji grunted wordlessly.

"Hey.  What's that?" Luffy pointed at a small crowd of people had gathered by a wall.  Nami immediately spotted the billboard that everyone was squeezing around.

"No one who has a wanted poster" - Nami looked pointedly at Luffy - "is going anywhere near that wall."

"I'll stay far away," Usopp promised solemnly.  Then he walked directly towards the crowd.

Now the guy had to rub it in his face that he was on a wanted poster, Sanji thought darkly.  The urge to kick Usopp in the back of the head was rising, rising…

"You coming, Sanji?" Chopper asked as he trotted after the sharpshooter.

"Not unless Nami-san is." 

"Go with them," the navigator ordered.  "Make sure they don't do anything stupid.  I'll have my hands full with this one."

"Yes, Nami-swan!"

"I wanna go too," Luffy complained, but Nami was already dragging her captain away.

Sanji figured he might as well check it out and caught up with Usopp and Chopper, but the three of them had a hard time getting close because of the crowd.  "I can't see," Chopper said.

"Then change forms," Usopp suggested.

"Don't do that!  Here - I'll tell you." Sanji's height gave him a bird's eye view of the 'Wanted Wall.'

"Is Luffy's poster up there?" Chopper asked.

"And mine?" Usopp added.

"Shut up, you two!" Sanji pushed forward a little closer.  There was no poster of Luffy here - or anyone else he'd heard of. He craned his neck to get a better look.

Sanji finally caught a glimpse of what everyone was staring at. A half-shaved pirate leered from the photo.  No style, Sanji thought scornfully.

"Oh goodness," someone sighed. "A pirate!"

A deliciously warm giddiness spread through Sanji as he realized that he was smack dab in the middle of a throng of young women.

"He may be here, on the streets of our town!" another girl cried breathlessly.

"Oh no!" But the tone of the voice didn't match the seriousness of the words.  It sounded like she wanted him to be in town.

"He looks so…bad."

Click, click, whirrr went the gears in Sanji's mind.

"Let's go."  There was no point hanging around, Usopp thought, if he wasn't hanging around.

Sanji followed Usopp and Chopper, lost in thought.

===============

Nami tapped her foot impatiently.  "Where is he?"

"He said he was going shopping," Usopp said, looking into the crowd for their cook.

"If he isn't here soon, we're leaving without him!" Nami declared.

"NO!" Luffy cried angrily. Who would cook for them? 

"He's here somewhere," Chopper said.  "I can smell him."

Nami and Usopp shaded their eyes, hunting for Sanji.

"Is that him?" Luffy asked, pointing with the hand that wasn't up his nose.

"Where?"

"Over there."

"I don't see…" Usopp's jaw dropped.  Nami followed his gaze.

And stared.

It must be Sanji, she thought.  He had the blond hair in his eyes and the cigarette and he was wearing his Mr. Prince glasses.  But what happened to his suit?  She'd never seen him in a sleeveless shirt before.

Or leather pants.

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