Everything Little Thing She Does Is Magic

(Recap: Nami has just made that announcement that she is staying in Ohtori to be with her one true love - Juri.)

Luffy: You can't leave us, Nami.  We don't know how to work the boat without you!

Zoro: I don't want to be trapped in this crazy school forever!

Miki: Join the crowd.

Vivi: But why, Nami?  Why the sudden sexual orientation change?

Zoro: Change?  I thought you two -

(Sanji and Vivi attack Zoro before he can finish the sentence.)

Nami: Juri is a wonderful woman, caring and kind, quick to take my needs into account…

Juri (blushing): Really Nami you're going overboard.

Usopp: She's paying you, isn't she?

Nami: Yeah! Out the nose!  Literally. 

Shanks: You know what they call that, Nami?

(Juri gives Shanks her patented stare of doom.)

Shanks: - which doesn't bother me because I have a stare that frightens sea monsters, remember, author?

(Juri gives Shanks her patented lesbian stare of doom.)

Shanks: My bad.  I'm sufficiently cowed.

Nami (smirking): So what do they call it, Shanks?

Shanks (glancing at Juri): They call it good business sense.

Nami: Damn straight it's good business sense.  Show em, Juri-sama!  Show em what you can do!

Juri (nervously): Well, I don't do that for just anyone.

Nami: Puh-leez?!  With all sorts of sweet condiments, dripping and melting and begging to be licked off on top?

(Sanji is felled by a nose aneurysm.  Zoro quickly gets the upper hand on Vivi, who may be smart but can't fight worth a damn.)

Juri (who can resist most things but seems to be falling for Nami's wheedling): Well, just one won't hurt -

Miki (groaning): Not those lame-o magic tricks again, Juri. 

Nami: Magic tricks?

Nami: What?  It was fake? (she bursts into tears.)

Juri: YOU'RE DEAD, MIKI!

(Miki takes off at a sprint and makes it into the elevator before Juri can reach it.  The doors shut.  Juri immediately turns around and dashes down the stairs.  Nami weeps piteously.)

Sanji: There, there.  Sanji will make it all better.

(Nami throws herself into … Vivi's arms!)

Sanji: Nooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Vivi pats Nami on the back.)

Vivi: There, there.  Daddy thinks you're cute.  I'm sure you can get a few billion berii out of him once our economy stabilizes.

Nami (tearfully): Really?

Vivi: Yes.  Now let's find our bartender, get our sharpshooter, locate our doctor, and get the hell out of here.

Luffy: Amen.

(Shanks sighs happily.  Once again he is saved from making a plan.)

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Random Quote Analysis:
Roxanne, you don't have to put on that red light. - The Police

(Zoro and Kohza are attempting to determine if there has been clonage going on.  Sanji is definitely not looking - because he's waiting for the flash to power up on his instant camera.)
Kohza: For the last time, no.
Zoro: That's it!  You're going down, clone!
Kohza: Get the hell away from me!
Sanji (waiting for the red light to come on): Begin quote analysis.
Zoro: Off with the shirt!
Sanji: The author likes Sting. 
Kohza: Get your hands off - THERE!  STOP IT!
Sanji: End analysis.
(The red light does comeon.  Sanji turns and takes the shot…of two seriously pissed guys who are definitely full dressed.)
Sanji (non-chalantly puts camera back in pocket): So who's the clone?
Kohza: Told you something was fishy about this, Zoro.


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Terms Explained
The annoying white change in background is due to the flashback sequence, kind of like how Oda-sensee uses a black background for his flashback sequences! Coz you know the Smut Garden is in the tradition of One Piece in every single way! YEAH!