We all make mistakes.  And some of us make twenty page long, "I just entered the fandom and have no goddam clue, but I'll write a story anyway, have I introduced myself, please call me Mary Sue" mistakes. This is mine.  I recognized it before sharing it with anyone and then hid it in the deepest abysmal recesses of my computer.

But something niggled at the back of my brain.  I had wasted all that time and what did I have to show for it; nothing but embarrassing drivel.  Was this story possible to salvage?  Of course it was! I had only apply my wit and loathing to my own writing and turn it into an MST. So I did and now I present it to you.

This is a penitent act and hope all wrapped in one. For you see, I went from this level of eye-hemorrhaging garbage to OAG.  Not all at one go of course, but I did improve.  And so can everyone else. There is hope for the newbies.  Remember that when you flame them.

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Scene: A movie theatre.  And it's not one of those new-fangled 10 bucks a pop for some action adventure fodder churned out by Hollywood every summer, but a testament to the Golden Age of movies, when men were men and women were Marilyn Monroe.  An interior designer went mad with the burgundy velvet and gold tassel. Gilt is everywhere, especially on the tacky cherubs that are supposed to bring up visions of Renaissance Italy, but rather inspire nightmares of Valentine's Day gone bad.  The seats…the seats are gorgeous and comfortable and may be the only thing that saves today's participants in

Narrator: Otherwise known as Make it STOP. Today we're going to review how not to write a story.  Joining us in this little adventure will be the Luffy Pirates as well as assorted others.

(There is a large moan from the crew.  They are sitting in the movie theatre and surrounded by popcorn, every candy known to man and fishman and mermaid too, plus plenty of soda. But not even that generous bribe will get them to stop grumbling.)

Luffy: Can I have your Skittles, Usopp?
Usopp: No.
Zoro: Something's wrong.  I can't fall asleep.
Narrator: It's not fair to the others if you escape through sleep.
Sanji: I thought we were going to watch Titanic.
Narrator: That will be torture for another time.
Luffy: It's starting!  It's starting!
Nami: Why are you so excited about that?
Luffy: Oh.  Sorry.

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