(At a bus stop in the snowy Colorado town of Grandline Park.  Four little children wait for the bus.  One little kid is wearing a blue bobble hat and has nose, lots of it.  One little kid is wearing a funky black hunting cap and he has green hair.  One little kid is very, very, very round and is wearing a red vest and a straw hat.  One little kid is wearing an orange parka and has the hood pulled tight so a person can't see who it is.)

Zoro: Hey look.  It's Kaya Morgansoaker, Usopp.

Kaya: Hi, Usopp.

(Usopp pukes on Kaya's shoes and Kaya runs away screaming.)

Luffy: Hey guys, wanna see what my brother packed me for lunch?  Cheezy poofs and pot pies and snacky ho-ho cakes and lots and lots and lots of meat -

Usopp: No one cares about your stupid lunch, Luffy.

Luffy: You're just jealous!  Because my brother packed my lunch and yours didn't!

Zoro: We wouldn't want our lunches packed by your dirty brother, Luffy.

Usopp: Yeah, everyone knows that your brother stars in German Schizer doujin.

Luffy: Liar! He does not!

Zoro: Does too.  I saw it on e-bay.

Unnamed little kid: Mmmhmmmmmm.  Mmm.

(Usopp and Zoro chuckle.)

Zoro: That was a good one.

(In outer space, a piece of space dust hits the orbiting, but very old Walpol IV lunar satellite. It plummets to Earth…)

Usopp:  Hey look - it's Uncles Ben and Shed.  What're you doing out here so early?

Uncle Ben: We're going hunting.

Zoro: What's that?

(Standing on a ridge, bathed in the light of a pure cold mountain sunrise, is a rare blue-nosed reindeer. It pauses and regards the humans below it.)

Uncle Ben (breaking out his shotgun): It's coming straight for us!

(The shot goes wild and the rare blue-nosed reindeer makes it into the forest safely.  Uncles Ben and Shed race after it, leaving the kids at the bus stop.)

Unnamed little kid: Mmmmhmmmm.  Mmm.  Mmmmhmmmhmmm.

(Zoro and Luffy chuckle.)

Usopp (turning red): Leave my uncles out of it!

(The school's chef drives up in front of the bus stop.)

Chef Sanji: Hey chillun.

Chillun: Hey Chef.

Usopp: What're you doing with those girls?

Luffy (picking his nose): Girls have cooties, chef.

Chef Sanji: That's very true. Some girls do, chillun.

Unamed little kid: Mmmmmmhmmmmm. Mmm.  Mmm.  Mmmmm?

Chef Sanji (chuckling): That's right. I'm going to give them a taste of my vanilla salty balls.

Vivi (giggling): Oh chef.

Nami (also giggling): You're so funny!

Sanji: See you at school, chillun.

Chillun: Bye, Chef!

Usopp: Hey. Do you guys hear something?

Luffy: Uh. Guys?

(The kids look up to see the giant Walpol satellite coming straight for them. They run, run, run - through town and to the school to the playground. The giant satellite squishes everything up to a point, barely missing the kids. But the unnamed little kid was at the teeter totter when the satellite hit. The kid is thrown into the air and gets spiked on a flagpole. The body slowly slides down, leaving a trail of blood. Then the flagpole snaps in half. A flock of rabid turkeys comes out of no where, defecates on the body, then runs off.  A group of hunters who are after the turkeys runs through the scene, trampling the body. The school bus appears. It drives over the body, reverses, runs over the body, stops on the body, then goes forward again.

Then rats scurry forward and feast upon the remains leaving nothing but half eaten organs and bones.

The Grandline Park boys are outraged at the random violence of the universe and its cruelty.)

Zoro: YOU KILLED KUINA!

Usopp: You bastards!

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Random Quote Analysis
My crotch salutes you!  Adios, Ba-Chachos! - Bert, Sluggy Freelance

Mihawk: I am not touching that.
(Kohza is in shock. In his cage.)
Mihawk: It insults my heritage.
Kohza: Kuina?
(Kohza shakes his head.)
Kohza: Who's Kuina? Why am I so affected by her death in that alternate universe?


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Things Explained
This was written nine months ago. Nine months of waiting for the Zoro torture to begin.
Come on. One flame. Just one. I was BRUTAL to Kuina. Surely someone will upbraid me for that? Or perhaps the very un-PC burning space debris (even though in my defense I did write it before the Columbia incident.) Anyone? Oh. Well, I'll just have to be MORE offensive.