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COULD THERE BE A GLIMMER OF 'PLOT'? No, just heartburn.
In the Vortex
Nami and Vivi: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
(The girls sob in each others' arms. Usopp preens.)
Usopp: That universe was SO right.
Shanks: Darn. That hair rocked. My hair was like down to here! But you, Ben… (looks at his lieutenant with pity) What were you doing? Washing yours with mud?
Ben: Shut up.
Sanji: Ugh. Chibi-nasu all over again.
Chopper: I feel sick. We jumped around that universe waaaaaaay to fast.
(Luffy picks his nose with one hand and strokes his hat with the other.)
Luffy: Precioussss…
Zoro: I hate being chibi. It reminds me of… (gazes off sadly)
=================== (In Party's Bar)
F.O.Z. Girl: I have to pee like a race horse.
(The other sorority girls ignore her while they work on re-modeling Party's.)
F.O.Z. Girl: I'm gonna hang up.
Sorority Girl Salmon Pink: And leave the pirates trapped in the Vortex forever? That's mean.
F.O.Z. Girl: They could be dead for all I know. I could be wasting my time for dead people.
Sorority Girl Moss Green: Has anyone ever told you what a compassionate person you are, F.O.Z. Girl?
F.O.Z. Girl: SHUT UP! MY UNCARING NATURE IS YOUR FAULT! I HAVE TO PEE!
[I can go check and see if they're dead or not.]
(The Sorority Girls scream.)
Sorority Girl Sepia: How long have you been here?
[All the time. So shall I go, F.O.Z. Girl, and see if you're wasting your time?]
F.O.Z. Girl: If it means I may get to pee faster, then please.
[Be back in a bit.]
Voice from Phone: Welcome to Washuu's Wonderful Invention Technical Help Hotline. What's your problem?
F.O.Z. Girl: Hey, Author, wait….er. Oh well.
Voice From Phone: Hello?
F.O.Z. Girl: Sorry, um. We have a problem. It has to do with our ice maker with the dimensional flux option. It ate the customers. But before we start, I would like to say that you have the crappiest customer service ever.
Washuu: Kid. Want some advice? Don't piss off the customer service person when you're trying to get people back from a vortex of alternate dimensions.
F.O.Z. Girl: Oh. Sorry. I'm snappy because I just really have to pee.
Washuu (not caring): I can't help that I'm the only one wo-manning the lines.
F.O.Z. Girl: Why don't you hire someone to help you out?
Washuu: My inventions can alter the very fabric of reality. I don't think it's a good idea to let some peabrain kid who's working for six bucks an hour try and talk you through your problem.
F.O.Z. Girl: Oh. That does kind of make sense.
Washuu: What color's your hair?
F.O.Z. Girl: Er. Brown.
Washuu: Oh lord. Is there anyone around with blue hair?
F.O.Z. Girl: No.
Washuu: Crap. How about black?
F.O.Z. Girl: My employer does.
Washuu: How old is she? Is she shoujo? She's not from CLAMP is she?
F.O.Z. Girl: She's not shoujo. There's no CLAMP here. And she's at least -
(Makino looms.)
F.O.Z. Girl: A young and nubile twenty four years of age, though she is constantly mistaken for looking much younger than that.
Washuu: She's in hearing range, isn't she?
F.O.Z. Girl: Yup.
Washuu: Have her stand by. Between the three of us we'll be able to get you through this snafu. Assuming it's not too late for your friends.
===================== Random Quote Analysis I mean, if you're a group of sentient machines looking for a powersource and you decide on bioelectric batteries, why choose humans? Cows would be a better idea. Cows would generate more energy, they would never rebel, and the matrix would be just one endless field of grass. They could call it the Mootrix. - PVP
Kohza: Wow. That makes a lot of sense. Mihawk (with a mouthful of peanut butter and Nutella): Mmmf. Mmm. Mmm? Kohza: Good point. And yes, I was serious about what I said about Crocodile, sir.
next smut home
=================== Things Explained Could there be a plot? Of course not. That would mean silly things.
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