(Mr. Prince walks into the Raindinners Casino and goes straight to the bar.)

Mr. Prince: A martini, shaken not stirred.

(As the bartender pours his drinks, Mr. Prince looks aroound the Casino, trying to find the other agent.  The lights dim and a spotlight is turned on the main stage.)

Announcer: Put your hands together for…Miss Vivi LaVoom!

Mr. Prince (leans back in his seat to get a better view ): Oh yeah. That's what I'm talking about.

(Miss Vivi LaVoom enters stage right.)

Announcer: And now Miss Vivi LaVoom will perform her world infamous number - the Dizzy Dance!

(Cue perfume and obnoxious, yet oddly hypnotic, gyrations. The men in the room love it up…especially Mr. Prince. Miss Vivi LaVoom leaves the stage and begins 'greeting' members of the audience.)

Mr. Prince (with a heart eye): Hey baby!  Come over here and meet the prince of your dreams!

(Miss Vivi LaVoom dances her way over to Mr. Prince.)

Vivi (whispering): Excellent way to signal me, Mr. Prince.

Mr. Prince (sighing happily): My pleasure, miss…

Vivi: And then you pose as a highly obnoxious misogynistic playboy, successfully fooling Crocodile's agents. A fool-proof cover.  I would expect nothing less of the Triple X Division.

Mr. Prince (blinks): Cover. Right. (rallies magnificently) Feel free to lose a few more veils.  We want it to look real.

(Miss Vivi LaVoom presses a piece of paper in his hand.)

Vivi: Follow the instructions.  I'll meet you later.

=============================

(Mr. Prince is standing in a dark alley behind the Casino as per the instructions from Miss Vivi LaVoom even though dark alleys are great places to be ambushed and he's only just met the girl today.  He's holding a martini.  "The Look of Love" sung by Diana Crall is playing faintly in the background. Vivi LaVoom, exotic dancer and spy, appears.)

Mr. Prince: The name's Prince. Mr. Prince.

Vivi: I knew that. We're on the same team and I just met you in the casino.

Mr. Prince: And now that we've gotten the silly name thing out of the way, shall we -

Vivi (all business): Crocodile is just about to unleash his evil scheme upon the planet.  He's in his secret base underneath the casino and he's holding people hostage!  We must foil his plan and save the hostages.

Mr. Prince: Aren't you supposed to be flirting with me now?

Vivi: Flirting? The fate of the world is at stake here!

Mr Prince: There's always time for "We Have to Stop the Supervillain from Destroying the World" nookie.

Vivi (gritting her teeth): Mr. Prince…

Mr. Prince: Okay, okay.  Have it your way.  So who are these people exactly?

Vivi: What?!

Mr. Prince (examining his fingernails): I said 'who?' I don't put my Armani clad butt on the line for just anyone you know. Are these hostages ugly? Or…(shudders) are they men?

Vivi: Crocodile has kidnapped Dr. Nami X. Ploreme -

Mr. Prince: Certainly.

(Vivi adeptly continues the exposition while fending off Mr. Prince's advances which are hampered slightly because he refuses to put down his martini.)

Vivi: - a scientist who has invented a machine that can control the weather. Her bodyguards were also taken.
Mr. Prince (pauses in his attempts to remove Vivi's clothes without dropping his martini or wrinkling his suit): I have to rescue one hot chick and some guys?

Vivi: Oh - and Crocodile kidnapped the entire Swedish bikini team.  But I'm not sure why.

Mr. Prince (tossing his drink back and wiping his mouth): Quickly!  Where are they?

==================

(Dr. Nami X. Ploreme and her bodyguards are in a giant cage. She is really not pleased.)

Dr. Nami: I'll never reveal the secrets of weather manipulation to you!

Croc: No, my dear, I expect you to die!

(Croc laughs insanely.)

Dr. Nami (whispering to the supervillains's second in command): Did he ask me a question?

Miss All-Sunday: He really likes that line. He says it's genius. I've tried to explain that the genius lies in the situation it's used in but … (she shrugs)

Croc (continuing on like the two women aren't making fun of him): With you gone, the world's weather system will be under my complete control. No one will be able to stop me!  And now, Dr. X. Ploreme, farewell.

(Croc, like any good supervillain, leaves his captives to their fate at the hands of his elaborate over the top death mechanism.)

Croc (as they are walking out): And don't even suggest that we shoot them. I'm not getting kicked out of the Supervillain Club for expediency.

Miss All-Sunday: I didn't say a word, sir.

(The water-tight doors slam shut. Water slowly fills the room. Luffy yawns. Chopper sobs. Dr. Nami X. Ploreme yells.)

Dr. Nami: I am never using your security firm again.

(Luffy picks his nose.  Chopper sobs louder.  Dr. Nami sighs in exasperation. Then screams as a wall (obviously non-supporting) bursts open. Concrete shards spray everywhere. A figure stands silhouetted in the dust and smoke.)

Dr. Nami: We're saved!

Luffy: Do it again. Do it again!

(Out steps - Zoro! He's all Diesel-ed up. Literally. He's packing a bunch of explosives and a few gallons of really cheap fire accelerant. He immediately starts setting shop. Nami watches him for a few moments.)

Nami: Take your time. It's not like we're going to DROWN OR SOMETHING!

Zoro (calmly hooking up wires and things): Look. I don't save people. I destroy stuff. It goes against my spy code to go around saving anything.

Nami: You're going to blow up this room while we're in it?!

Zoro: Collateral damage. You understand. It's for the safety of the free world and general anarchy.

(Nami screams and shakes the bars of the cage in her rage. Chopper sobs. Luffy cheers.)

Luffy: I'm gonna see something explode!

(Nami begins shaking Luffy in her rage. Suddenly there is a blare of trumpets. Mr. Prince swings from the rafters from his utility belt. Zoro, who was distracted by the ghostly brass orchestra, is nailed in the face with a powerful kick by Mr. Prince.)

Mr. Prince: The crocodile can be removed from the endangered species list. It's now extinct. (looks back at Vivi who is descending lightly from the ceiling) How was that for witty dialogue?

(Vivi shrugs as she removes her rappelling harness.)

Vivi: It was pretty good but that's not Crocodile.

Mr Prince: I wasted my wit on a minion? What a disappointment. (he adjusts his tie and sees the cage then rounds angrily on Vivi) Miss Vivi LaVoom, you LIED to me.  You said they were cute.  That one is gorgeous (points to Nami) and that one (points to Luffy) is kinda cute too.  But I'm not saving that reindeer. (points at the sobbing Chopper)  He can save himself.

Luffy (happily): Yeah!

Mr. Prince (talking a closer look): Hang on. You're a guy too.

Luffy: Yeah?

Mr. Prince: Scratch it. Just saving the hot chick now.

Dr. Nami: Get me out of here!  Before we drown!

Mr. Prince (becoming all suave): Certainly, miss. Thanks to the Head of Spy Research, the man known as U, I have just the thing I need. (Sanji uses his laser cuffs to cut through the cage bars.  Then, using the lasers, he starts writing his name on the wall - just because he can.)

Luffy (jumping up and down): Me next!  Me next! My name is L-U-F-F -

(The dangerous laser is swung towards the cage. Luffy ducks as it cuts the bars just where his face was. Mr. Prince's laser cuffs cut through the cage. Bars fall to the ground, making a door for the hostages to pass through. He holds out his hand to help Nami as she steps over the jagged bars. When she is safely past, Mr. Prince kicks Luffy in the face preventing him from leaving.)

Mr. Prince: I said just the hot chick!  You two can rot in there.

(Cue an annoying laugh.)

Croc: So Mr. Prince. We meet again for the first time for the last time.

(Everyone blinks.)

Nami: You are so LAME. And where's your assistant?

(Cut to outside. Miss All-Sunday is waiting in the limo.)

Miss All-Sunday (grumbling): …always forgets something…

Croc: That doesn't matter. Prepare to die!

Vivi (whispering): Do you have a plan, Mr. Prince?

Mr. Prince: No plan. Just this stick that breaks down into a bunch of pieces. U said something about emergencies...destroying world weather patterns...or something.

Dr. Nami: Give it to me!

(Quick as a whip, Dr. X. Ploreme puts together the Clima-Tact and summons rain - soaking Crocodile to the bone and making him substantial. Then she summons lightning. One strike is enough to turn His Sandiness into glass.

Mr. Prince steps up and pushes the glassified Crocodile with his index finger. The Crocodile statue tips over and shatters on the ground.)

Vivi: You saved us, Mr. Prince!

Dr. Nami: Hel-lo!

Mr. Prince: Our work here isn't done!  The Swedish Bikini Team - where are they?

(Dr. X. Ploreme points to a large heavy steel door that previously was unnoticed because the camera never panned over there.)

Dr. Nami: He said they were trapped in there.

(Mr. Prince sprints to the door, throws it open, and dashes inside.)

Mr. Prince: I've come to rescue you, ladies!  It's your hero! Mr. Prince! GAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!

(Mr. Prince stumbles out of the room, looking as if he aged ten years in the space of a few moments.)

Vivi: What happened?!!

Mr. Prince: …original members…

(Note: The original Swedish Bikini Team was established in 1907 in honor of Gustavus V's ascension to the throne.)

Dr. Nami: Then shouldn't they be dead?

Mr. Prince: Yes…oh gawd yes…

Vivi: I never did quite understand that part of Croc's plan.

Nami: Beats me.

Mr. Prince: Okay.

(Mr. Prince grabs Nami and Vivi around the waists and pulls them close.)

Mr. Prince (leering): Shall we do some celebratory "just saved the world" shagging?

(Nami and Vivi exchange glances.  In synch, they bring their fists high and bear down upon his - )

=====================
The Arsonist Anonymous Group Returns - to Economy!
(When we last left the arsonists, they were hot on the trail of fellow relapsed arsonist, Makino. With the help of Conan, they were flying to Japan in the hopes of stopping her before her trail of destruction grew any longer or included Starbucks.

Now, their business in Japan having been concluded, they are flying away. Destination: Unknown. It is highly unlikely that it is paradise or Ruby Soho.)

Shayla Shayla: Couldn't we have sprung for business class?
(The Moderator, whose normally easy-going mood has been eroded from all the arsonist induced stress, glares at her.)
Shayla Shayla: Goddesses shouldn't be seen flying economy.
(Hikaru beams from behind her gag.)
Sailor Mars: No one asked you, Hikaru. (fumes) I can't believe Conan got moved to first class.
Shayla Shayla: It's those baby blues of his. No stewardess can resist them.
(Hikaru mumbles into her gag.)
Moderator: I don't see why not.
Sailor Mars: Yeah. They ship dogs in with the luggage all the time.
(Hikaru frowns and mumbles.)
Shayla Shayla: You worry too much, kid.


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Things Explained
Yes. I use Croc as the villain a lot. He's just useful like that. I'll try and be more versatile in the future. Oh wait. No I won't. Did you notice that Croc stole material from Spaceballs AND Goldfinger? What a jerk. No wonder he got kicked out of the Shichibukai.
Gustav the Fifth really did ascend the throne in 1907. Records are hazy about the presence of a bikini team.
Dr. X Ploreme Bond Girl name stolen from Bond Girl Name Generator. It was the best one they offered.