In the Vortex

(Everyone blinks except Zoro who is asleep.)

Nami: That universe was surprisingly IC.

Shanks: I am totally insulted!  Where the hell was I?

(Ben rolls his eyes.)

Shanks: I should have been Shanks Pan! 

Ben: You have the qualifications. You have never once acted like an adult since I've known you.

Shanks: I know!

(Sanji throws his lighted cigarette stub - at Chopper!  The poor little reindeer dodges it in time.  Everyone is shocked except Zoro who is asleep.)

Vivi: Sanji-san, what are you doing?!!

Sanji (outraged): I'm on to you, antler boy!

Chopper (in shock): Wwwwwhat?

(Sanji crouches down and gets right in Chopper's cute little face.)

Sanji: You did that!  That last universe was your work.

Nami: I think it was mine, Sanji-kun.  I mentioned money right before we were -

Sanji (nice and solicitious): Oh of course, Nami-san.  I was just referring to the cleavage incident.  That wasn't your work.  (turns on Chopper like a rabid dog) THAT WAS HIS!

(Chopper starts to sniffle.)

Sanji: Don't give me that crap!  You ate a Hito Hito Fruit - that means you're part human.  And you're 15 years old.  And we all know what 15 year old boys obsess on!  Right, guys?

Zoro: ….zzzz….

Luffy: Being the Pirate King?

Ben: Guns?

Luffy: Meat?

Shanks: Capes?

Luffy: Straw hats?

Usopp: Being a manly warrior of the sea?

Luffy: More meat?

Sanji: Idiots!  15 year old boys obsess on girls!

Luffy (snorts): That's just stupid.

Sanji: The 'Nobody loves me' thing is an act!  He does it to get attention from Nami and Vivi!

Vivi: What a horrible accusation to make about Toni-kun!

(Vivi scoops up Chopper and holds him away from the wrath of Sanji.)

Sanji: He does it for more than attention.  Haven't you noticed that you squish his face right into into your bosoms every time he cries?!

Nami: Someone apparently has.

Vivi: Listen to yourself. You're talking about Toni-kun! 

Luffy: He's our kawaii mascot.

Usopp: Sanji, you would suspect the motives of the Lord God Almighty himself.

Nami: Herself.

Everyone: Whatever.

Sanji: It's true!

(Everyone ignores his outburst as the ravings of a man driven insane by the Vortex.)

Sanji: Fine.  Don't believe me.  You'll see.  You'll all see.

=====================
Random Quote Analysis

"All I get for Christmas is grief.  Oh.  And presents." - Skippy Mitchell

(Nojiko and the Author now have blackmail material on Kohza, who apparently wants to be the king of Alabasta.  In exchange for their silence, he must do horrible nasty things - like 'enjoy' karaoke.)
[(dolphin squealing gleefully) It's starting, it's starting!  Get ready!]
Nojiko: Quick - do the analysis!
Kohza: Er, Skippy's insane?
[Good enough.]
(The intro music to the song begins.)
Kohza: Maybe letting you tell everyone about that slip of the tongue would be okay in the long run.
Nojiko: Think again, rebel boy.  We need a baritone, so get ready to sing. Dammit, you missed the spoken intro!
Kohza: I don't know this song that well…
[Here we go!  Here we go!]
(The music picks up.)
Nojiko (singing): I'm a Barbie Girl!
[(singing) In a Barbie World!]
Nojiko: Life in plastic
[It's fantastic!]
Both: You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere!  Imagination; life is your creation!
Kohza (who is bright red): Come on, Barbie, let's go party I can't believe I'm singing this.
Nojiko and Author: Ah, ah, ah yeah!
Kohza: Come on, Barbie, let's go party kill me now
Nojiko and Author: Ooh oh oh! Ooh oh oh!

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Things Explained
Overenthusiastic love of karaoke contributed by Kiki: Ferret With Too Much Power! The links will take you to specific Kiki/karaoke Sluggy strips. I included the last comic just coz Torg and Riff almost look pimpin.' (Worshipthecomicworshipthecomic)
Aqua's 'Barbie Girl' is best done by MXPX - find it, download it.  Love it.