"war and peace"
laying on the job
i have been shot by a guy
i hate working here

"milo and otis"
a little white cat
frying pans and lots of shit
tweezers dangle there

"jesus christ: superstar"
wearing long robes
the messiah is coming
where are my bitches?

"picnic in springtime"
long green blades of grass
maggots eat a rotting corpse
mother stops to eat

"geography lesson"
a country that i like
dominican republic
too bad it sucks there

"frogs who make people have bleeding gums and spit out chunks of their teeth"
bleeding from the gums
spitting up chunks of my teeth
froggie jumps in pond

"a haiku about music"
music music yay
music is not very gay
soon i pray for death

"o, canada"
canada is cold
the united states is not
quite so cold, mostly

"my hero"
rock hudson was gay
rock hudson was a gay man
rock hudson liked boys

"that one guy from saturday night live is pretty funny"
gender undefined
on saturday night live, yeah
i miss dan ackroyd

"a true story!"
licking lots of stamps
the post office monster waits
he will eat you, man!

"prayer of jabez"
i need a lamp so
i can see what i'm doing
eat shit and die, bitch

"fuck musicmatch"
a good player for
mp3s and other stuff
a skin with jesus

"stupid question"
tell me honestly
i really would like to know
do my haikus suck?

"a sentence"
sometimes i like to
go outside my house and shoot
some lil' animals

"scotty is my friend"
my roomie is scott
he is not a faggot, so
he has a girlfriend

"a funny story"
fly away in peace
little birdie, oh wait, i
smashed your skull with brick

"christine's haiku"
she likes to drink boone's
she is a resident ad-
visor. she is neat!

"captain sexy's haiku"
he is a sexy
guy. he likes to wear spend'ers
he is not inbred

"my haiku"
i suck really bad
i am a loser and stuff
don't hang out with me

"andrew's haiku"
he likes to eat shit
sometimes we go out to eat
he likes to be gay

"brittain's haiku"
ashley, don't call me
anymore. claro que si.
buenas noches dog

"tetsuo's haiku"
i am the wall, man
jessica best is a whore
related to wes

"landon's haiku"
i like penises
i have cows that smoke drugs, yeah
i like penises

"rick turner's haiku"
i teach wes and john
computer science at old
birmingham-southern

"gay painter's haiku"
i am a gay painter
i am a sigma chi fag
ihad a hot bitch

"aw sick girl's haiku"
getting out of show'r
nothing on but a towel
brittain is a fag

"fake aw sick girl's haiku"
i am not aw sick
but i look like aw sick girl
i work at striplin

"timmy's haiku"
my name is timmy
wes made a flyer, he's mean
i work out sometimes

"stephanie's haiku"
ted ted ted ted ted
ted ted ted ted ted ted ted
ted ted ted ted ted

"boustany's haiku"
i love popeye's
wrinkly shirt and big old boots
my hair is curly!

"lisa cler's haiku"
lets analyze this
i don't understand fully
don't say the word "cunt"

"bsc's haiku"
christian place, haha
drink and have sex with people
std's rampant

"erfan's haiku"
little bagger guy
not ethnic albanian
i call him irvin

"jonny santos's haiku"
you sing for spineshank
you have the rock and roll sound
your band is alright

"godsmack's haiku"
you guys are witches
you play some mean rock n roll
first cd better

"tal bachman's haiku"
you sing that one song
that one on the radio
you sang that one song

"trinkle's haiku"
you are a dead bird
i killed you with one good shot
then i carved you up

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