1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my
watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV
remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What
good is a cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell
would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where
are they?
5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?" No loser, I paid $8 to come to
the cinema and stare at the floor.
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice there, did
you sunshine?
7. When something is "new and improved"! Which is it? If it's new, then
there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there
must have been something before it.
8. When people say "life is short." What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing
anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come
yet?" If the bus came would I be standing here, dumb-ass?
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A GIRL'S FIRST TIME!!!
(Assume you are a girl if you are a boy)
It's your first time. As you lie
back your muscles tighten.
You put him off for a while searching for an excuse,
but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you.
He asks if you're afraid and you shake your head bravely.
He has had more experience, but it's the
first time his finger has found the right place.
He probes deeply and you shiver; your
body tenses; but he's gentle like
he promised he'd be. He looks deeply within your eyes
And tells you to trust him - he's done this many
times before. His cool smile relaxes
you and you open wider to give
Him more room for
an easy entrance.You begin
to plead and beg him to hurry,
but he slowly
takes his time, wanting to
cause you as little pain as
possible. As he presses
closer,going deeper, you feel
the tissue give way; pain surges
throughout your body and
you feel the slight trickle of
blood as he continues.
He looks at you concerned and
asks you if it's too painful.Your
eyes are filled with tears but you shake
your head and
nod for him to go on. He begins
going in and out with
skill but you are now too numb
to feel him within
you. After a few moments, you
feel something bursting within you
and he pulls it out
of you, you lay panting,
glad to have it over. He looks
at you and smiling
warmly, tells you, with a
chuckle; that you
have been his most stubborn yet
most rewarding
experience. You smile and thank
your dentist. After
all,it was your first time to
have a tooth pulled.
Naughty, Naughty! What
were you thinkin'?PERVERT I
know what you were thinking!
Some of my links
Funnies
JOKES
MY Poetry Page!
Beer Drinkin Page
All You Need to Know about Picasso! Com'n it was for school!!!!
