Say No To Xenarwen : Sign this petition at the LOTR Movie Accuracy Site

Posted by ElweSingollo on AICN Talkback

Gwaihir told me that he heard it from Pippin, who had it from Beorn, who was told by Grishnakh, who tortured it out of Theoden, who was informed by Ghan-buri-Ghan, who picked it up at a drumming session with Imrahil, The Mouth of Sauron, and the Fox-who-wondered, who were playing cards with Gollum just the night before, who said that Sam ( nassty hobbit)told him that the Balrog had it on good account that Liv Tyler was going to play both Arwen and Aragorn and that the new character was going to be called........Arwengorn!!!!! Has anybody else heard this rumour????

The Nazgul's Brown Horse Posted on Ringbearer.org

I wouldn't worry too much, the horse is dark brown and no doubt with lighting effects and whatnot the horse will look very black in the movie. -Zane- ...when bathed in the blue light of Arwen's magical faerie sword in the scene which she beheads the nine (or ten) single-handedly!! -Denethor AHH! But she won't be using a sword! She'll use here metal frisbee and it'll bounce off rocks and trees and not only kill the Nine/Ten but the thirty orcs behind them -Zane ... after which it will slice cleanly through Gollum's wrists as he dances at the edge of the Cracks of Doom holding Frodo's severed and beringed finger, which then fall slowly into the lava pit below, causing an erruption that raises a cloud of ash of such proportions that 85% of all living species (including elves, dwarfs, orcs, hobbits, Nazgul steads of all variety, Ents, talking foxes, Tombus Bombadillius, etc.) to become extinct, ushering in the Fourth Age of Men (and Warrior Women). -EAL

Liv Tyler and Whips Posted by Zane on Ringbearer.org

I think I have it people. The reason why Townsend left! Having just read a little blurb on OneRing.Net I have discovered that Liv sucks at using a whip! When she arrived on set yesterday they told her: "Liv, babe, we decide to ditch the sword, we figure you have experience with a whip and well it really does suit the black leather we have ready for you." Saddly they decided to allow her to test it out on Townsend, sadly the results were not surprising: Townsend's sword has been broken!

Forget Cinescape, here's the real story... Posted by PoohBear~ on Ringbearer.org

O.k., this is a re-post, but I feel that people should know the truth about what really happened and these so called "creative differences": The cast and crew of LotR are made up entirely of Pro-Balrog Wingers. Prior to the filming of the Balrog seen, PJ says to Townsend, "In this seen, the Balrog emerges from the darkness and his great leathery wings stretch from wall to wall". Townsend, somewhat indignantly says, "Pheh! Balrogs don't have wings!". Townsend was forcibly escorted off the set and onto the next plane out of NZ. Enter Viggo, a known Pro Wing advocate, and harmony is restored to the production. There you have it.

Arwen's Theme Song Posted by Greywolf on Ringbearer.org

Hey, let's try an experiment - I'll start a song and you all add to it : (To the tune of "I am Woman" by Helen Reddy (sp?) I am Arwen hear me roar, my lips are too big to ignore And if I can't wield a sword I'll pretend. My screentime just got longer, and my character got stronger, than any woman elf that Tokien could have penned. Oh yes, I'm an elf, I'm a kick-ass Xena elf, and I'm so butch that I can't recognize my self. And if I want to, I could slay anything. I am strong, I am invincible. I am Arwen ! (Ok, now for you guys!)

Eomer is out????? Posted by Denethor on Ringbearer.org

Ack... I can see it now... Frodo: I must take it... although I do not know the way... [the silence is broken when Arwen (who is now the leader of the fellowship after shipping Elrond to the old-folks home) bursts in on the meeting covered with the blood of fallen foes] Arwen: Sorry, shorty.. hand over the ring. I'll take it to Mordor and destroy it. Be back in a few minutes... Gandalf: But.. but... but... [a glance from Arwen quickly indicates that she will not be opposed... Arwen turns and rushes out.. leaving the members of the council staring at each other in awe]

Arwen Evenstar Posted by Dunadan Companion on Ringbearer.org

She did not travel with the company for the same reason Glorfindel did not. Elrond didnt want to break up his Friday night Poker Game.

Webmaster's note: Rumor has it that her role is being expanded...

One more time.... Balrogs..... Posted by Gimli on Ringbearer.org

No no.. Balrogs don't have wings, they use a jet pack. If you notice in LOTR, It says "the fumes from his jet pack billowed about him LIKE wings" then later when gandalf breaks the bridge, it says "as the bridge cracked, shrapnel flew up and damnaged the control device from the Balrog's jetpack, tossing him into the abyss". When Gandalf is recounting the fight for Aragorn, Gimli and Legolas, he specifically says "The flame from his jet pack was quenshed and he became like a slippery snake covered in jaetpack fuel" and "because his jetpack was malfunctioned, I was able to thro my opponent down". I am surprised all you guys missed those passages. I hope this settles the contreversy once and for all. Now lets talk about something important, like "Did the entwives leave because treebeard and his buddys stayed out late playing cards?"

Velcro Wings Posted by Guthlaf on Ringbearer.org

Yes, Middle-Earth Shoes has come out with a new fashion in VELCRO WINGS! These wings are easier to slip on, much cooler during the summer and warmer during the winter, they don't need to be polished (for deep mining), and they come with new shoulder-blade reinforcement! You can velcro them, tie them, detach them, re-attach them, yes, even ignite them (for that special flaming style!). Order TODAY! Guthlaf, Vice Pres. Middle-Earth Shoes

The Balrog Wing controversy, in different forms... Posted by BlueCross (Dick Jarvinen) on Ringbearer.org

Balrog wings appear! Are they Shrouds of illusion Or muscle and bone? There once was a Balrog named Dirk Who claimed his wings weren't a quirk. But while trying to fly He let out a great cry: "Damn! I knew these things wouldn't work!"

Balrog Wings, Euphemistical Answer Posted by Dunadan Companion on Ringbearer.org

There has been much debate about the meaning of the "wings" text in FOTR, whether is was an allegory or reality, but what if "wings" was just a euphemism for something else, something that JRRT could imagine, but would rather not put in such a high class story. Let's see. We have a Balrog that has lived in Moria for Ages. Since the Dwarves were driven out He's had nothing to do but munch on Orcs and beat his Drum. And where are all of these extra calories being stored? In his big Balrog Butt. Thats why it took him so long to catch up with the fellowship stumbling along in the dark, with Gandalf hardly able to walk. The Balrog could barely make it through the passageways. But when stepped out on the bridge, his "wings" spread from wall to wall. just a thought

Oh, and about that Sauron thing.... Posted by Jarnsaxa on Ringbearer.org

Way down there, somewhere, buried in the MB was a thread on what Sauron looks like...this is easy, for someone who lives in Florida! Sauron=Mickey Mouse (tm) That's right, folks, Mickey can be none other than Sauron in 'fair-seeming form'..he's already physically taken over parts of California, all of Florida, and is making inroads into Europe via EuroDisney...his Orcs are now legions of park attendants in uniform, 'perfecting' the landscape to suit His needs...his Mouth is none other than M. Eisner (or whoever is in "charge" of PR over there these days---who knows how often power changes hands with these evil folk?)...we must unite to stop the Mouse Menace!!

The Solution to the Balrog wings problem Posted by Monkeyman on Ringbearer.org

Simply have TWO Balrog's in the film. Not only will this please everyone but two Balrogs equals double the excitment! Balrog1, the one with wings, and Balrog2 (no wings) attack Gandalf simultaneously on the bridge. Balrog2 falls into the chasm - BUT as he falls he accidentally gets his whip tangled around Balrog1's legs, dragging him to his doom! PJ would be a fool not to consider this option. MONKEYMAN PS My apologies if someone has already suggested this, it just seemed so obvious.

A cleaner solution to Balrog wing problem Posted by Dunadan Companion on Ringbearer.org

Have NO Balrog, Gandalf merely trips over his beard (which Aragorn had warned him to trim earlier) and falls into the abyss. No Balrog=No Problem Right!?

In Response to Did Galadriel & Celeborn have a son? Posted by Douglas Henderson on rec.arts.books.tolkien

Earlier on, he said they had a son named Amroth, but Tolkien changed his mind. I think his last word on the subject is that Celebrian was their only child. However, there are perisistent rumors that Celeborn had a love child with Dis the dwarf of Khazad-dum. The affair ended badly and is thought to account for his virulently anti-dwarf bigotry we see in LOTR. Dis had filed a paternity suit against Celeborn; however Celeborn denied the child was his. The strongest evidence in his favor is that the little baby had wings - and we know Elves don't have wings. Anyway, before the case could come to trial, the Dwarves were driven from Moria by Durin's Bane.

Posted by Douglas Henderson on rec.arts.books.tolkien

You know I was just wondering, what sex was the Balrog really? If the Balrog was a woman and this episode in Moria took place at shall we say, a certain time of the month and the Balrog wanted to remain fresh Would they have wings?

The Greatest Questions Ever

Posted by Guthlaf on Ringbearer.org Hi, folks! I just read Narvi's post about the Answer to the Greatest Question Ever, and I thought I'd post this poll. Just what IS the greatest, most fundamental, most earth-shaking and monumental and pivotal inquiry to plague those readers of Tolkien's work? A. Whether Elves have pointed ears B. Whether Gimli is bald C. Whether Legolas has dark hair or blonde hair D. Whether Balrogs have wings E. The identity (and hair color) of Legolas' great great great grand-father's wife's cousin's father's mother's nephew's room-mate's best friend Send in your answers!

Answers Posted by Tolman Gamgee A: Neither. They had exposed tympanic membranes. The pointy or round question was started due to the prevalent fashion in neck wear at the time. See Peoples of Middle-earth pub. c.FA 1345 by Eressëa Press. B: He was balding, but a member of the Hair Club for Men. C: Red D: No, bullfrogs don't have wings. E: Blonde, brown, blonde, red, brown, blue, black, red, brown, green, brown. The identities have been blacked out in all census records due to "unsavory activities".

Posted by Angela But how could you miss the most burning questions ever to land themselves upon our fair board? Do female dwarves have beards? Or are they just extremely PC--? Was Tolkien racist or merely Scandinavian? Is there a God and if so does she live in Cleveland? Why WERE Legolas and Gimli so attached to that darned horse? Did Gandalf wear a cup? Come on, all that leaping on and off of Shadowfax bareback.... that's GOTTA hurt... and finally... Was Legolas REALLY Zaphod Beeblebrox? Answers to these questions and more on the next "In Search Of..." ;-P

Posted by Dunadan Companion Legolas' great great great grand-father's wife's cousin's father's mother's nephew's room-mate's best friend was a pointy eared, balding, dark haired Balrog with blonde haired wings. Its in the appendix , cant remember the page.

Posted by Guthlaf Well, now that you mention it... Didn't that great great great grand-father's wife's cousin's father's mother's nephew change room-mates a few times? So actually, the room-mate's best friend would have been that red-haired, fork-bearded dwarf with a phony French accent. Unless, of course, the room-mate changed his mind and chose a NEW best friend after that, in which case....

Showing Sauron (In the movies)

Posted by Kelandra on Council of Elrond I know my LOTR knowledge is a little rusty, I've started rereading the book so I'll have it fresh in my mind again. I remember Sauron being alluded to in the book and people having contact with him. I meant that Sauron never goes out in person to interact with other characters. You know, I never read anything like: And so Sauron decided to go out for an evening walk, the sky was dark and murky just the way he liked it and it filled him with evil happiness. Suddenly, he came across two little hobbits wandering about his domain, "Halt!" Sauron shouted, "get off of my grass!" I just don't see how PJ intends to show him completely. It seems all wrong to me.

Posted by Jade on Council of Elrond Thinking of a worse case scenerio (that cannot and will not happen so help me) is the mighty Sauron being even worse than an oozing monster....a Jar-Jar. "Mesuh ring gettin' melty...AhhhNoooo!!!!!!"

Posted by Physicist_at_Large on Council of Elrond ...I recall reading that the opening scene will be Sauron's defeat by Elendil and Gil-Galad, followed by Isildur taking and then loosing the ring. If this is true then a charred elf might be appropriate...

On Sticking Close to the Books

Posted by Dunadan Companion on Ringbearer.org Doomed to Flop - Wrong Again It doesnt matter that LOTR is a literary masterpiece. There is no need to breathe the Middle Earthian magic into the film. This is a great adventure story. An average guy, hanging out, partying with his pals gets stuck with his wierd uncle's magic ring (at a party no less). He finds out its the Ring of evil incarnate. So hangs around, as in all films long after he should have, until one of the baddest MF in the Universe comes to his door. he and his friends run for their lives . and this is going to be a flop, I think not. By the end of the first movie he is conned into going to Hell to dump the Ring, stabbed, Speared, threatened, and generally scared to death by Nazgul, Orcs, Balrogs, Boromir (treachery there). It doesnt matter (to the masses) if they start by saying that Sauron lost the Ring to Bilbo in a poker game, and Aragorn is the heir to the Crown of Gonzoland. This is still going to be one hellava flick. Now, whether the inhabitants of this board will apreciate it, we're so damn desparate 20 years after the Bakshi debacle that we'll be glad just to hear "tom fool of a took" or "so I look foul and feel fair" or to see a Mallorn, or a Hobbit, or Balrog Maybe in another 20 years or so, the definitive version of LOTR will finally be made. Complete with Elvish accents, Balrogs without wings, and indeed ol Tom Bombadil but until then thankyou pj whereever you are. thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou

Posted by SilentKiller on Ringbearer.org Still A Flop Now Dunadan Co. (what does your company sell?) brings up a very good point. What does it matter if it's true to the real story. Hell, I read "Bored of the Rings" many years ago and I laughed my ass off (have found it since). I think I would love to see the LOTR as a comedy. Bilbo Baggins never married and hangs around with young boys all the time, suddenly decides he's fed up with his stupid which has had the impertenace to attach itself to another appendage on his body that is neither finger nor toe. Pull as he might it won't come off. "Hmm, maybe I can dump this piece of crap on Frodo and high-tail it out of Hobbiton and hide out in Rivendell" muses Bilbo. Of course, Gandalf is in on the gag with Bilbo and whilst Frodo dreams of bumping off his Uncle, taking over BagEnd and hanging out with young boys, they "magically" slip the ring off Bilbo on to Frodo who then suddenly has a terrible urge to pee. He obviously did not slip Gandalf enough farthings in his plot to do in Bilbo. Off Bilbo slips into the night and poor Frodo has been left with what could be termed a sticky wicket. Of course, Merry, Pippin and Sam spend long hours delighting the crowds in the Green Dragon with the shadow puppet theater presentation of poor Frodo's predicament. Frodo soon finds out who his true friends are and quickly hires a band of High Elves who get the three rascals stoned and caught in compromising positions with a pony. The three own up and with a few kicks in the groin and the obligatory handshakes, all is forgotten. Now Frodo announces far and wide that he is leaving Hobbiton for good to destroy his magic ring which if it were to fall into the wrong hands could mean the end of the world. Actually Frodo has been in touch with Elvish spies who last saw his Uncle Bilbo hustling along the Great East Road towards Rivendell as though a Troll were chasing him. Frodo can think of nothing now but to find Bilbo and beat the snot out of him and sue any a__-hole that is harboring him whether he be high, low or middle elf. Frodo handsomely pays Merry, Pippin and Sam for their promises to help him find Bilbo and stomp him into the ground. It seems money can buy you anything, even in Middle-Earth. So off go our would-be heros to shouts of praise, praise that someone had finally got the Three Stooges out of the Green Dragon. Had they known that a vendetta on Bilbo was at hand, they would have cheered all the louder. TO BE CONTINUED........ DC is right, by Golly

On expanding Arwen's role in the movies...

Webmaster's note: The script below is reportedly for the original 2-movie version, now that Peter Jackson is going to make 3 movies instead of 2, the extract below, taken from AICN may never make it to the real movies. EXT. TROLLSHAW FOREST - NIGHT ANGLE ON: STRIDER hurries through the DARK FOREST, collecting FIREWOOD. SUDDENLY! STRIDER FREEZES as a SWORD BLADE touches his neck! A WHITE HORSE steps into FG. ARWEN (o.s.) What's this? A Ranger caught off-guard? STRIDER slowly looks up. His eyes widen with RECOGNITION." And that's all I'm going to say about that.

(In response to the above) Posted by Creamy Goodness at theOneRing.net Awesome! We've got scriptage! Hee hee! I hope PJ is ready to reap the whirlwind! When the purists get a load of this... (!!) But seriously, she snuck up on him while riding a horse? What? Was it in hover mode? That kind of makes Strider look like a yutz: "Dom de dom, I'm just looking for firewood, dom de dom. Holy crap! Where did that incredible large, half-ton, smelly white thing with bells on come from?!" Take her off the horse. Otherwise, well lets just say *LOTR drinking game* and leave it at that!

Posted by Dunadan Companion We can expand Arwen part and have Bombadil. We just let Arwen take Goldberry role. When the Hobbits arrive She leaves with them (breaking Tom's heart for the teen age girls), saves them from the Barrow wights and then Falls for Strider at the Inn at Bree. She "knows" it will never work out between them since she is of high birth and he a lowly ranger. He parents would never approve. oooooo What a GREAT subplot, Hardly changes the story at all, AND think of all those teenage girl$$$ who will now go see this basically teenage boys movie. Its perfect. The Purists get Bombadil, the studio gets rich. and everybody's happy. Right. ;)

Balrog Wings

Posted by Whistler on Ringbearer.org All right, enough of this Balrog business! Here's my compromise: they have wings, but they're not able to lift the creature's body weight and serve little purpose other than to look scary, which is very important to evil creatures - or, if you prefer, they have a webbing below their arms that looks like wings. The webbing helps them sail from point to point, but not to fly in the usual sense. Think of a REALLY big and scary flying squirrel.

Posted by DR.Andreas on Ringbearer.org Trenchcoat Balrogs Their lord was named "Gothmog" Those shadow wings are just a friggin huge trenchcoat. If you've seen the Matrix,Wings of Desire, or City of Angels you know trenchcoats flapping in the breeze look JUST LIKE wings. And are often used as a cinematic metaphor for such. GOTHmog was the son of Melkor.(info per another post I read) He must have been one of the world's first celebrity kids Bursting with rebellion againt famous dad and status quo. I tell ya he created the Goths, and Sam Spade, And Columbo....

Posted by lagill on Ringbearer.org [In reference to Dunadan Companion's song 'Balrog Flying Close to The Ground' at LOTR:The Party Album] by dismember he meant that they pinned the Balrog down and plucked its wings off...there ya go!..Balrog did have wings until that point ..:)

Posted by Miss Mary at Ringbearer.org How many balrogs can dance on the head of a pin?

Pointy-Ears

Posted by Legolamb on Ringbearer.org ..Tolkien says they have leaf-shaped ears. I think they have maple-leaf-shaped ears.

Sauron should be showed as...

Roseanne Barr as she appears in "She-Devil" - Izmunuti on Ringbearer.org Darth Gates - R austin on RB Tori Spelling - Gilgalad on RB

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