10. Eating the last Fig Newton gets you body checked into the fridge.

9. He's very sensitive on the topic of "stick curvature."

8. After going out, makes you line up and shake hands with all his ex-girlfriends.

7. Bad enough he consummates lovemaking by shouting, "He scores!"-- was it really necessary to install the red light above the bed?

6. During arguments he sends you to the penalty box for "2 minutes for pissing me off."

5. He refuses to valet park the Zamboni.

4. For breakfast, he hands each kid a spoon and tosses an Eggo in the middle of the table.

3. Demanded credit for an assist when you slept with his best friend.

2. Favorite Restaurant: Dinner in a Blender

1. Talks funny and likes to beat up people, but doesn't come from Alabama.