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Hockey Humor
Puck Bunnies

Hockey stick! Don't get Checked!

Limited Taxonomic Data.....

Genus: Lagomorph
Species: puckus

Territory overlaps: generally centered around watering holes and ice sheets. Density depends on number of available mating opportunities and whether the team is in town.

Feeding habits: closely resembles Pirhanas. Consumes beer in large amounts if available. Uses as excuse for all behaviors every opportunity.

Mating call: "OOOOOOhhhhh! You're SO tall!" et. al., accompanied by the rolled eye and coy smile as the other portions of the chosen male are speculatively observed for reaction. Success is indicated by the piercing titter resulting.

Breeding Habits: Rarely travels alone, usually in packs of 3-4. Known to share mates and notes on same. Extensive documentation on multiple matings though explanation of benefits not understood. Rarely selective and never discreet. Mates as frequently as opportunity presents in all locals and positions.

Physical attributes are broken into at least two categories:

Juvenile: under aged and oversexed. Standard attire is skimpy skirts and cut off, plunged necked sleeveless tops, coatless in 25 degree rainy weather, causing prominent display of budding fertility. [This is the regional definition of a "slut puppy"]

Mature: legal aged, access to enough money to spend large chunks of time in tanning booths and exotic boutiques. Standard attire is painted-on outfits that reveal all the pierced and sensuously stylish tattooed body parts; makeup thick enough to necessitate backhoe for removal. Stacked heels and leather are popular options. Abundant displays of trophy jewelry is common. [Regional definition is "ho' dog"]

Miscellaneous: Hibernation is doubtful. Have been known to migrate. Non-territorial as a rule. Will resort to other sports if hockey males are unavailable or not in season.

Are these the same creatures seen in your arena?

Any interesting habits, abilities or variations seen in other venues?

Hockey stick! Don't get Checked!


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