BLONDE JOKES!!!

>John gets a call from his blonde girlfriend, Buffy.
"I've got a problem," says Buffy.
"What's the matter?" asks John.
"Well, I've bought this jigsaw puzzle, but it's too hard. None of the pieces fit together and I can't find any edges."
"What's the picture of?" asks John.
"It's of a big Rooster," replies Buffy.
"All right," says John, "I'll come over and have a look." So he goes over to Buffy's house and Buffy greets him saying,
"Thanks for coming over." Buffy leads John into her kitchen and shows him the jigsaw on the kitchen table. John looks at the jigsaw and then turns to Buffy and says, "For Pete's sake - put the Cornflakes back in the box!"


One day, a blonde went into an appliance store that was having a sale on TV's. She walked up to the counter and said to the clerk, "I'd like to buy this TV." The clerk replied, "Sorry, I don't sell to blondes."
So, The blonde dyed her hair brown and returned the next day. Again, she went up to the counter and said, "I'd like to buy this TV."
And again, the clerk answered, "Sorry, I don't sell to blondes."
Puzzled, the blonde asked, "How'd you know I was a blonde?"
The clerk replied, "Cause that's a microwave!"


There once was a mirror that always told the truth. If you didn't tell the truth to it, it would pull you in.
One day, a brunette went up to the mirror and said, "I think that I am the most beautiful woman in the world." The mirror pulled her in.
The next day, a redhead went in and said to the mirror, "I think that I am the most beautiful woman in the world." It pulled her in.
A blonde went in the next day and said to the mirror, "I think-" and it pulled her in.


Two blondes were walking through the woods and came upon a set of tracks.
One blonde said that they were deer tracks. The other blonde said that they were moose tracks.
They were still arguing when the train hit 'em.


Q. How do you kill a blonde?
A. Place a scratch 'n' sniff sticker on the bottom of the pool


A blonde went to her mail box several times way before it was time for the
mailman to make his rounds.
A neighbor noticed her repeated trips to the curb and asked if she was
waiting for a special delivery.
"No," she replied, "I'm working on my computer and it keeps telling me I have mail!"


A blond, a brunette, and a redhead were trying out for a new NASA experiment on sending women to different planets. First, they called the brunette in and asked her a question.
"If you could go to any planet, what planet would you want to go to and
why?"
After pondering the question she answered, "I would like to go to Mars
because it seems so interesting with all the recent news about possible
extra terrestrial life on the planet."
They said "well okay, thank you." And told her that they would get back to her.
Next, the redhead entered the room and the NASA people asked her the same question. In reply, "I would like to go to Saturn to see all of its rings." Again, "thank you" and they would get back to her.
Finally, the blond entered the room and they asked her the same question they asked the brunette and the redhead. She thought for a while and replied, "I would like to go to the sun."
The people from NASA replied, "why, don't you know that if you went to
the sun you would burn to death?"
The blond smirked and put her hands on her hips. "Are you guys dumb? I'd go at night!"


Two blondes walk into a bar, each orders a drink. They go and sit down and start toasting and cheering, "51 days! 51 days!!" About five minutes later, another blonde walks in, orders a drink, and joins the other two in the cheering. Finally, another blonde walkes in with what looks like a cardboard picture. She puts the picture thing in the middle of the table, and starts cheering with the others, "51 days! 51 days!! The Bar Tender starts too get really curious, so he walks over to discover that the picture is a Cookie Monster puzzle. He walks over to one of the blondes and asks, "What on earth are you doing??" "Well," the blonde says, "everyone thinks blondes are so stupid, so we proved them wrong. On the box of this puzzle, it says 2-4 years, but we finished it in only 51 days!!!"