Valedictorian: "I really appreciate you're asking me out.
Most people are intimidated by my high academic achievement."

Buffoon: "This movie sucks shit!"

Valedictorian: "Well, Ebel gave it thumbs up, but
Ciscel thought it was too preachy.
Anyway, I enjoyed the director's last film immensly."

Buffoon: "Cathleen Turner has big fuckin' tits!"

Valedictorian: "Yes, well, she recently had a child.
I think her maternal biology may play a role in that.
She looks fabulous for a woman her age, doesn't she?"br>

Buffoon: "I put a firecracker in a bullfrog's mouth
and blew his fuckin' head off."
Valedictorian: "Well, in psychology we learned that it
is not uncommon for male adolescents to commit savage
acts on animals as part of their maturing process."

Buffoon: "That girl in the fucking car in front of us,
she gives everybody head."
Valedictorian: "Well, I guess she's strong for
attention and she feels promiscuity is the only way to obtain it."

[Buffoon eating popcorn]
Buffoon: "This popcorn's fuckin' terrible. It tastes
like someone jizzed all over it."
[Buffoon continues to eat popcorn]

Valedictorian: "Well the amount of semen on this
popcorn is certainly disturbing. Perhaps the staff in
the refreshment stand was overcome by the monotony of
their work and decided to play a childish prank."

Buffoon: "I looked at my asshole in the mirror today.
It blew my fuckin' mind!"

Valedictorian: "It's ironic that parts of one's body
seems odd and unusual because you don't see them on a
day to day basis.

Buffoon: "My father's shit stinks up the bathroom all
fuckin' day!"

Valedictorian: "It's puzzling why one person's fecal
odor can be more overpowering than another's.
I wonder whether it is a function of the food digested or that
person's internal metabolism."

Buffoon: "I'm gonna go get head from that fuckin' girl."
[Gets out of the car]

Valedictorian: "Well, I'm sorry to see the date come
to such an abrubt conclusion."
[Buffoon walking away]
"I do appreciate the time you spent with me and look
forward to a future rondevue."

Buffoon: "I like to piss in that guy's fuckin' gas
tank!"