"All of it. About twenty-five dollars. Are we leaving now? Isn't that enough... with the rest of the money, it's gotta be enough."

"Yeah, it's enough. Listen, you gotta get the rest. Remember where we buried it?" Heath looked into his brother's eyes and shook his head.

Johnny grabbed Heath's arm, "Hey! I know you don't want to go to her grave. But you have to! I gotta get something from our old house, so you have to..."

"I could get it while you get the money..."

"You don't know what it is and it'll be too hard to explain where I hid it. Just get the money and meet me at the edge of town." Johnny bent down to look Heath in the eyes. "I know you’re scared. But your big brother always takes care of you, right?"

Heath nodded and sucked in his breath. He would be strong. As strong as his best friend. His big brother.

Heath ran in the dark, he just wanted to be gone. When he reached the church yard, he shook his head. Their mother could never be buried there. Johnny never said why. But Heath knew. The whole town knew. His mother was a whore and Heath was the bastard she had. Johnny had a father. Somebody named Charlie. But he drowned two years before Heath was born. Johnny was only three, so he never knew his father. But at least he had one. Heath wondered who his father was. Johnny said he was a nice man, but Heath wasn't so sure that was true. If he was so nice, why did he leave?

Heath found the unmarked grave and sat in front of it. He never knew her. She died when he was three. If he closed his eyes real tight, he might see her in his head. Singing a song and kissing his head. But the only vivid memory of her, was when she was crying and yelling at his Uncle Matt.

"Don't hit him Matt. He's just a baby."

"A baby bastard." Matt reached out and slapped Heath in the head. Leah started crying and went to Heath's side. Johnny came in from the outside and ran to his brother.

Matt took his belt and began to swing it towards all three of them. Heath was crying and Johnny was screaming. Leah pushed back her brother, while shielding her children.

"Stop it Matt!! Leave them alone!" Leah lashed out at Matt, when he shoved her hard against the only piece of furniture in the house. A thick wooden table. She had blood coming out of her nose and mouth. Heath remembered how red it was. His mamma never spoke again. She died later that week. Then his Uncle Matt took him and Johnny.

Johnny hated Matt. He said Matt killed their mamma. And one day Johnny was going to kill Matt. And Heath wanted to help him.

Heath found the bag of money. "Good-bye, mamma." Heath turned towards the street and ran to meet his brother.

"Where have you been? I was beginning to worry. I thought, I thought something happened. Did you get it?"

The blond boy held up the bag of money for his brother to see. "Did you get what you wanted?"

"Yeah. I got everything we need." Johnny put his hand on Heath's shoulder. "Listen, this is the plan. We can start on foot now, and make it to Lawson by the time the stage will be leaving for Stockton..."

"Stockton? I thought we were going to Mexico. You said..."

"I know what I said, but there's something we gotta do in Stockton. Then we can be on our way to Mexico, okay buddy?"

"Why, why Stockton?"

"We can talk about it later, come on... we gotta get going."

And with that, Heath stopped asking questions. Who cares where they are going? They were together and out of Strawberry. But to Stockton?

They walked all night and finally made it to Lawson, where Johnny bought two tickets to Stockton. When they finally boarded the stage and were out of town, Johnny let his breath out. He looked over at Heath, who fell asleep as soon as they sat down. How was he ever going to to make Heath stay in Stockton? He remembered Tom. He gave Johnny a piece of candy. And he never yelled. Tom had been in a fight and was hurt. His mamma took care of him. And one day he just left. Johnny never knew why until after his mamma was killed. He found an old letter under a loose board of the old house. Along with the watch. Tom had given Johnny a watch the day he left. Johnny thought he lost it, but his mamma must have taken it when she got the letter.

Dear Leah,

I am sorry. I should not be forgiven for what I did to you. That night I got mugged at the hotel, you gave me something. A kindness and love so innocent that I wanted to accept it. I was wrong in that, you see, I am a married man. I have two sons of my own. One's close to Johnny's age and the other a little older. My wife and I were having troubles, but that is no excuse for what I did. At first my memory was cloudy. But evidently I did remember everything. I remembered the love I had for my wife, Victoria, and my sons, Jarrod and Nick. You helped me remember that. I told my wife of our affair. She has forgiven me and we are getting stronger in our marriage. I hope you can forgive me, Leah. You deserve someone, you and Johnny. I was a weak man. You did nothing wrong. Take care and write if you ever need me.

Tom Barkley
Stockton, California

"Tom Barkley. Why did my mamma never tell him?" Johnny mumbled under his breath as he folded the letter. A letter he knew held his mother's tears, as well as his own.

Finally arriving in Stockton, Johnny was getting nervous. He knew Heath would fight him. Heath would not want to stay.

"Hey mister, do you know a Tom Barkley?"

"Sure kid, I work for him. Are you needing a ride out to the ranch?" Bill Johnson was new on the Barkley Ranch. He'd only been working for Tom Barkley for about a month. But in that month, he'd come to find out that many people knew Mr. Barkley. He's given directions and rides to the ranch more times than he could count.

"No, that's okay. How far a walk is it?"

"It's a pretty far walk. How 'bout I just take you fellas?"

"Well, if it's no trouble. My little brother is pretty tired."

"I am not! I don't even know what we're doing..."

Johnny turned to face his brother and in a silent look, shut Heath up.

"Thanks mister, we'd appreciate the ride."

Heath sat in the back of the wagon while Bill and Johnny sat up front talking.

"So how do you kids know Mr. Barkley?"

Turning to look at Heath, Johnny spoke softly. "He knew our mamma. We haven't seen him in a long time."

"Yeah, where are your folks? I'm surprised they're sending you out to the ranch by yourself."

"Our father is there. Our mamma wanted us to surprise him. Is it far now? Maybe we can walk in from here."

"Yeah, I guess you could. We're already on Barkley property. The house is another mile up ahead. Just follow this road."

Johnny and Heath got off the wagon thanking the man.

As Bill started off, he turned back to the two boys. "Hey what's your pop's name? Maybe I know him."

Heath looked at Johnny. What was he going to say? Johnny just smiled and called out. "Thomson. Our last name is Thomson."

"Don't know a Thomson. Hopefully I'll meet him while you fellas are here. Remember just follow the road."

Heath and Johnny waved.

"What are we doing here, Johnny? Who is this Tom Barkley?" Heath knew something was wrong. Johnny was hiding something.

"Just a second. See that tree, let's go bury the money there." The boys worked in silence, burying all the money they had left. When they were done, Johnny sat underneath the tree, with his little brother next to him. They were silent a long time. Johnny was always quiet. And Heath wanted to be just like him. When Uncle Matt would be drunk and angry, Johnny and Heath would sit in silence for hours, trying to be invisible. But Matt would always find them. Heath has scars on his back where Matt burnt him and hit him. Johnny has more. He has the ones he took for Heath. When he protected his little brother from their monster of an uncle. Heath wondered if Johnny was ever hit before. Johnny use to say that when mamma was alive, they never cried. Heath couldn't believe that. And yet he knew the tears came because of him. He was the cause of everything. He was the town bastard. He was the cause of the fight between his Uncle Matt and his mamma. He caused Johnny to get hurt.

"Heath." Johnny broke the silence.

"Yeah."

"Tom Barkley is your father." There he said it.

"YOU'RE GONNA LEAVE ME!!" Heath stood up and screamed at his brother.

Johnny jumped up and grabbed Heath's arms. "NO!! I'm not gonna leave you. I would never leave you. I just can't take care of you right now. You're just gonna stay here while I get something done. Then when I get back, we'll go to Mexico like we planned."

"You're gonna go back. You're gonna KILL him." Heath started to jerk away, wanting to pace.

"I just, I just gotta do something. Listen I have to do this..."

"I want to be there when you kill him. I want...."

Johnny grabbed Heath with all his twelve-year-old might. "DAMMITT HEATH!!!!! You're gonna stay here. I have to make sure you are okay. You can't go back with me. He killed our mamma, Heath. He hit her so hard that he killed her. He has to pay."

"I can help you...."

"NO! I have to know you are safe. I love you, buddy. If you went back with me he might kill you. Look at all the money we stole from him. He knows by now. The second he saw ya, he's kill ya."

"But what about you?" Heath started to get upset. "What if he kills you?"

"He won't. I'm gonna make him pay for what he did to us and to mamma. But if I'm worried about you, then I can't."

"Johnny..."

"Heath please. Just stay here until I do this. As soon as I get back we will run away to Mexico. Like we've always wanted. Just give me three days. I'll stay here tonight with you, to make sure everything is okay. Early in the morning I'll leave, then I'll be back in three days. Count 'em. Three."

"But what if he doesn't want me to stay?"

"He'll want ya, a good-looking seven-year-old, who could resist ya?"

"Well, I am good-lookin'."

"Heath, you can't tell him anything. Don't say anything about Matt or where I disappear to. He can't know. And don't mention Strawberry."

"Doesn't he know we're from there?"

"Just let me do all the talking, okay?"

"Alright."

They walked in silence until the front door.

"Here goes nothing." Johnny knocked on the front door. "Remember, let me do the talking."

A black man opened the door; "Can I help you?"

"Yes, my name is Johnny Thomson and this is my brother, Heath. We're here to see Mr. Barkley."

Silas lead the two boys to the living room, while he went to find Mr. Barkley.

"He must be rich." Heath was looking at everything. The house was even bigger than the hotel in Strawberry. "He could have taken care of us. Why didn't he take care of us?"

"We can't worry about that now. Maybe he didn't know..."

"He should have. I'm not gonna stay here, Johnny. Let's just leave. Come on." Heath pleaded with his brother, as he walked back towards the door.

"Heath! Stop it. Don't you trust me?!" He grabbed his brother's arm and made the blond boy look at him.

"Yeah, Johnny, I trust you. But I can help you get Matt. I can shoot real good and...."

Johnny squeezed Heath's arm tightly and spoke low. "You're only seven, I don't ever want you to talk like that again. It's my job to protect you. I couldn't protect mamma, but I'm gonna protect you. I am gonna make sure Matt never hurts anyone again. It's my job, not yours. Now I want you to stay here and wait for me." Johnny let go of his brother and sighed. He didn't want to do it, but he was going to have to hurt Heath. "If you fight me on this, so help me Heath, I won't come back."

Heath jerked his head and studied his brother's eyes. Heath's bottom lip began to quiver, but he sucked in his breath and let a tear fall. "Okay John, I'll stay. But only for three days."

Johnny smiled. "Right. Three days and I'll be back like I promised. Then we'll be free. We'll go Mexico and build a bigger ranch than this one."

"And catch all the wild horses. And I'll have one named Thunder and you'll have one named Lightening. Just like we said, right?"

"Yeah, everything like we said. Now, sit here and let me do the talking."

Heath sat down as Tom entered the room. Johnny was standing in front of Heath with his back to Tom.

"Hi. Silas said you were..." Johnny turned to look at Tom. Heath peeked beyond his brother and saw the big blond cowboy.

"Johnny? Johnny Thomson..." Tom stuttered out the words. He wanted to forget that time. He and Victoria struggled for so long after he told her of his affair.

"Yeah, Mr. Barkley, I wasn't sure you'd remember..."

"Where's your mother?" Tom anxiously questioned the boy. Why were they here? What did Leah want?

"It's just, it's just me and my brother, Heath." Johnny pulled Heath to a standing position. "This is Heath."

"Okay, but where's your moth... wait, your brother?!" Tom looked at the blond boy for the first time. Standing in front of him was a double of himself as a child. The same towhead and blue eyes. The same coloring as his three-year-old daughter, Audra. He couldn't breath. This child was his. His and Leah's. Tom stumbled to sit down in a chair. He put his face in his hands. A child. Why did she not come to him?

"Johnny, where is your mother? I need to talk to her." Tom looked up. He couldn't take his eyes off Heath.

"She's dead, Mr. Barkley. Over four years."

"Dead... but where, how... four years..." He couldn't think.

"Tom, Silas said we had some guests." Victoria entered the room carrying ten-month-old Eugene. Audra came in and skipped towards her father. Victoria stopped when she saw her husband's face. "Tom?"

"Vic..." Tom stood and went to her side. Audra kept begging to be held, so Tom absently picked her up. "This is Johnny Thomson and his brother Heath."

Victoria looked at the two boys. And she knew. She could see it in the older boy's face. And the younger one. The spitting image of Tom. "Thomson? Wasn't that..."

"Yes, these are Leah's boys. And Heath is..."

"Your son. Oh Tom..." Victoria started to cry. Which started Gene. Tom set down Audra, who began to cry, and went to his wife's side.

"Vic, I didn't... I never knew."

This wasn't going well. Heath nudged his brother. "Johnny, let's just leave. I don't want to be here." Heath started towards the door.

"FATHER, MOTHER, we're home!" Twelve-year-old Nick bumped into Heath, as the blond was trying to leave. "Hey, watch it kid!"

"Mother, Father, what's wrong?" At seventeen, Jarrod could sense the tension in the room.

Heath pushed Nick out of the way, as Johnny reached for him. "Heath, wait!"

"Quit pushing squirt!" Nick pushed Heath back towards Johnny. Johnny saw this and all he could think of was Matt hitting and pushing Heath. Johnny pushed his little brother back into the room and punched Nick. "Don't push him! Don't ever hit him!"

Nick's reflexes got the best of him and he lunged for Johnny. Heath jumped into the fight and started throwing punches.

"NICK! JOHNNY!" Tom grabbed both boys by their collars, breaking apart the fight. Jarrod held onto the little blond boy. "EVERYONE STOP!!" Tom yelled so loud that Gene and Audra stopped crying, and Jarrod and Nick just stood stunned.

"Johnny, let's just leave." Heath cried.

"NO!" Tom and Johnny said in unison.

"No, no one is leaving. I just have to think." Tom finished the thought for Johnny.

"Your Father is right, no one is leaving. Jarrod, Nick, take Audra and Gene upstairs. Get cleaned up, then come back down. Silas will go and help you. We all need to talk."

As her four children went upstairs, Victoria Barkley turned to look at the remaining people in the room. Two broken little boys and her broken husband. "Tom, why don't you show Johnny and Heath where to get cleaned up. We'll talk in a minute." Tom looked at his wife. She nodded and smiled a little smile. She was a strong woman. Their marriage was strong. They would get through this.

"Come on, let's get you two cleaned up." Johnny started to follow Tom, but Heath didn't move. He hated it here. No one wanted him here. No one but Johnny.

"I'm not staying." Johnny and Tom turned to Heath.

"What? Heath, we need to sit down and talk. You're my..." Tom didn't know what to say.

"Heath, remember what I said." Johnny looked at Heath and nodded.

Heath looked at his brother. Johnny would do it. Heath knew his brother would do it. "Fine! But I don't have to like it." Johnny grabbed his brother's shoulder and squeezed, whispering in his ear. "Please Heath, just three days."

Heath gave Johnny a lop-sided grin. "Okay. I'm sorry I got mad."

Johnny patted the blond's arm. "Good." He shifted his focus back onto Tom. "Mr. Barkley, where do we get cleaned up?"

Tom looked at the bond between the brothers, and how Heath listened to Johnny like a son and a father. In the bathroom, Johnny took a rag and cleaned up his brother first. Tom noticed Johnny was loving and gentle, like he'd cleaned up scraps before. What has he done? Four years. Johnny said Leah's been dead for four years. Where have they been living? Why are they coming to him now? Heath must have been just three when his mother died. Tom had so many questions. He needed so many answers.

Tom left Johnny and Heath in the kitchen with a snack, while he re-entered the living room to face his wife and two older sons.

"Father, how could you?!" Jarrod looked at his father with eyes of a newly broken innocence. "Mother told us. How could you do that?"

"Son..." Tom walked towards Jarrod, but his son stepped away.

"Don't call him that! You have no right to call him or me 'son', what kind of FATHER are you?! It's not true what they're claimin'! I won't believe it!" Nick screamed at his father.

"NICHOLAS!!"

Johnny listened from the kitchen door. Maybe he shouldn't have brought Heath here. He looked over at his little brother, who was picking at his food. Johnny knew Heath was listening to every word said in the living room.

"He's just someone's bastard!!"

Heath's back stiffened at the word. "I won't stay here." He gritted through his teeth.

"NICK!! Don't ever say that! He's my son. YOUR BROTHER! I can see it all over his face." Tom quieted his yell, "Yes, I was with his mother. And that makes me a weak man. But your mother and I dealt with this a long time ago."

"So what!"

Johnny struggled to hear every word. Heath even got up and stood by his brother, listening.

"Nick, Jarrod.... I know you will probably never look at me the same again. And I've lost your respect. But there is a little boy in the other room who I know is my son. A little boy who is your brother. A little boy who..."

"Lost his mother." Her voice seemed to ease the tension in the room.

"But mother, he's not yours." Jarrod's voice was calm and sad.

"He's your father's and that makes him mine."

Johnny smiled. That did it. He knew his little brother would be safe here. He walked Heath back to the table. "Come on, let's talk before he comes back. Don't tell him how our mamma died. Just say she got sick. Say that we lived with friends. I'll tell him we found mamma's letter..."

"A letter?"

"Yeah, I found a letter he wrote to mamma when he left."

"What did it say?"

"Nothin'. He didn't know about ya, okay. It just said he was glad to know us and hoped we were happy. Anyway, that's how I knew his name and that he lived in Stockton."

"When did you find it? Why didn't you ever show me?" Heath was upset.

"About three months ago. It was the day Uncle Matt broke your arm. I was so mad. I wanted to kill him right then. But I couldn't. What would happen to you? I went to the old house while you were at the doctor. I knew it was there somewhere. I remembered that sometimes late at night, mamma would be crying over a letter. I asked her what it was, but she wouldn't tell me. I knew. I just knew it was from him, your papa. I thought if I could find him, he would help us. No one in that damn town cared enough to help us. They all knew what Matt was doing. But no one cared." Heath could see the anger behind Johnny's eyes, sometimes it scared Heath.

"Johnny, it's okay now, you got me here. And you're gonna take care of Matt.... he won't ever hurt us again. Right Johnny?"

He looked at his younger brother and rubbed the blond hair. "I love you, Heath."

"I love you too, Johnny."

"I just want you to be safe."

"I'll always be safe with you Johnny. No one can protect me better than you."

"You're right. Now trust me in what I'm doing."

"Can't I just go with ya?"

"NO! This is how I'm protecting you. I won't leave you. I'll be back." Johnny stood up and paced the kitchen.

"But Johnny, why are you doing this to me? We're a team. The Thomson Brothers, together forever! We can get Matt together." Heath jumped up wanting to hug his brother.

"HEATH! I told you that I have to do this by myself!"

"Do what by yourself, Johnny?" Johnny and Heath turned stunned at Tom's voice.

"Uh... nothing, Mr. Barkley. We were..." Johnny stammered with his words. What all did he hear?

"You boys were getting a little loud in here. What were you two talking about?"

Johnny looked at Heath, then gazed up at Tom. "Probably the same stuff y’all were yellin' about in there. Heath's just a little scared, Mr. Barkley..."

"I am NOT!" Johnny pinched his little brother's side.

"Hey, Johnny, let him speak." Tom bent down to his young son's eye level, "Heath, are you scared about coming here?"

The little blond boy avoided his father's eyes and glanced at his brother looking for an answer. "Yeah, maybe just a little."

"See Mr. Barkley... he's just scared and I was just tryin' to calm him down."

Tom didn't buy it. Something was going on between these two and it was a lot more than being scared. "Okay... let's first stop with the Mr. Barkley. How 'bout you call me Tom, like when you were little." As soon as the words left his mouth, Tom regretted them. Why remind Johnny of that time in Strawberry? "Let's go in the living room and talk."

Johnny looked at Tom. This man was so nice to him when he was little, yet when he left he made his mamma cry. And Heath would grow up being a bastard. Johnny shook his head. Why did it all have to happen? He looked at his brother as they walked into the living room, Heath was the only good thing that happened in Strawberry. And without Tom, there would be no Heath. But without Heath, their mamma might have lived a happy life. Johnny held his head in shame. He hated those thoughts when they came. It was Matt he blamed for everything, Matt was the one who kept telling everyone Heath was a bastard and their mamma was a whore. Matt was the one who killed her. Matt was the one who almost killed Heath. Johnny put his arm protectively around Heath as they sat on the couch. He would protect Heath with his life. His little brother was all he had left in the world.

"Johnny? Johnny, I asked you a question, son." Tom was trying to snap the boy back into the conversation.

"Huh?"

"You said your mother had been dead for four years. How did she die?"

Johnny looked at Heath. "She, she..." He couldn't think.

"Had pneumonia." Heath spoke up ending the thought for his brother. "She was real sick, and the doctor in Lawson couldn't help her." The little boy glanced at his brother, his eyes twinkling.

"Lawson? Did y’all move to Lawson?"

"Yes, after Heath was born, mamma took us to Lawson." Johnny picked up the conversation. He knew Heath wouldn't tell anything. The boy could keep a secret for years. And if he didn't want to tell you anything, he wouldn't.

"Well, what did you all do after your mamma died until now?"

"We found this letter, from you to mamma." Johnny handed Tom the letter. "I knew you were Heath's papa, so we decided to come and find you."

The letter. Tom had almost forgotten. He never told Victoria he wrote to Leah. After he told Victoria of his affair, Tom felt like he should completely cut himself off from Strawberry and from everyone and everything in that town. He sold his mines and wrote Leah a single letter. He couldn't let it end the way he left it. He had to put Leah's mind to rest.

Victoria read the tear-stained letter. The poor girl. She must have cried over this letter many a night. She couldn't go through this again. She and Tom fought for so long to get their marriage back on track, and now all this dug up again. Victoria looked at the two boys on the couch. Johnny caught her eye, he knew what she was thinking. She looked at the younger one, the one so much like her husband. These were broken children. God sent these boys to them for a reason. She was to mother them. They were to be her family, her sons.

"But Johnny that doesn't explain what you've been doing the past four years?!"

Heath looked up and a tear rolled down his cheek. Victoria made eye contact and reached to comfort the blue-eyed boy. Heath, not understanding the movement, scooted closer to his brother. Johnny put his arm out in front of Heath as protection. Tom watched the movement and glanced towards his wife. She saw it too. What has happened to these boys?

"Johnny?"

"Tom, they're tired. You can get your answers later. Supper will be ready soon. Why don't you take them to the guest rooms and let them rest. It's been a long afternoon."

He stood and motioned the boys to the staircase. "Did, did you bring anything with you?" Tom was at a loss on what to do. Should he treat them as guest or his children.

"Just the letter, Sir."

Tom sighed.

"Honey, why don't you get Johnny one of Nick's shirts. They should fit him. I'll see if I can find a smaller one for Heath." Tom looked at his wife, he was so grateful to have her. He mouthed 'I love you' and guided the boys upstairs.

It was going to be a long night.

Tom looked around the dinner table at his family. His family. Across the table sat Victoria, who was occupied on both sides with Gene and Audra. Tom knew his wife, though. He knew she was keeping a watchful eye on her other children. Jarrod, who was sitting in-between Audra and Tom, was picking at his food. Like his mother, he was keeping an eye on his mother and Nick. Tom could see sympathy in his oldest son's eyes, sympathy for his mother and brother. Tom could also see the anger and disappointment in Jarrod's eyes, when they made contact with his.

And then there was Nick, sitting on Tom's left. Tom could feel the anger and tension. At twelve, Nick lost something. An innocence. And a respect for his father. Tom feared it would be a long time before he would regain Nick's respect and trust. Jarrod, he knew, was sensible. Hurt and angry, but sensible. He was always fair and kind. Jarrod would feel the need to do the right thing. Nick, stubborn and hardheaded, would most likely take his anger out on everyone around, especially on the boys.

The boys. Heath and Johnny. Tom looked at them, Johnny sitting between Nick and Heath. Looking as if he placed himself there solely to protect his little brother. Tom studied Johnny's face. He looked like Leah. He had her light brown hair and fair green eyes. Tom would have recognized him anywhere, yet something was different. He didn't have the same carefree personality he had as a child. Of course it's been almost eight years. But Johnny seemed to change. Tom couldn't put his finger on it, but he could almost feel a difference.

And Heath. Tom's eyes rested on the towhead boy sitting as far as he could from his father. Heath was himself as a child. Same hair, same lightly browned skin, same deep blue eyes. Eyes like his own. Eyes that never left his plate, only once or twice to sneak a peek at his brother. What was he thinking?

Deciding to break the lingering silence Tom spoke up. "So where have you boys been living since your mother died?" He needed information. He needed to know.

Heath's fork stopped on the way to his mouth. Johnny looked up meeting Tom's eyes. They both spoke at once.

"Nowhere."

"A friend's"

Every person at the table looked at the boys.

"See Father, I told you they're LYING!" Nick threw his napkin down.

"Nicholas! Lower your voice." Tom pointed at his son. He couldn't deal with his temper now. "Which is it, nowhere or a friend's?" Tom stared at both boys.

Johnny squeezed Heath's leg under the table. Heath jumped a little, a movement noticed by Tom and Victoria.

"It was with a friend of our mamma."

"Well, why did Heath say nowhere, if you lived with..." Tom paused waiting for a name. None was given. "your mamma's friend?"

"Heath is kinda stubborn, he thinks because it wasn't our house in Straw... Lawson, that it was nowhere." Johnny couldn't believe he almost slipped.

"Did you almost say Strawberry? I thought you said you lived in Lawson since Heath was born."

"Father, they don't even..."

"Enough Nick!"

"Father, Nick is right. They are saying two different things." Jarrod chimned in. He could also sense something wrong with the information the boys were giving.

"Jarrod... I'll handle this." Tom was ready to lose his patience with everyone.

"Fine, I have to study anyway. May I be excused?" Jarrod asked looking at his mother.

Victoria took her cue. "Yes. Nick, why don't you go ahead upstairs and do your studying also."

"Fine!" Nick pushed back from the table and stood. "I don't want to be at this table anyway!" He started to walk away.

"Nick! Stay in your room until I talk to you! We're gonna deal with that attitude of yours."

Nick turned from his father, glared at Johnny and Heath, and stalked out of the room. A minute later, they heard his bedroom door slam.

Tom gazed at his wife. "Victoria, that boy..." Victoria shook her head and shifted her gaze towards the boys. Heath was scooted as close to Johnny as he could get. And Johnny had his arm protectively around his brother. Tom's heart ached.

Victoria got up, gathering Gene. "I'm going to get the bedrooms ready for Johnny and Heath." Tom nodded and massaged his forehead. Victoria turned to the boys. "Tomorrow, we can go to town and get you some new clothes. I'll get a couple of Nick's nightshirts for tonight."

Johnny made eye contact, "Thank you ma'am, we'd appreciate that." He nudged Heath, whose face never lifted.

"Yeah, thanks." The small voice obeyed his brother.

Tom stood, as Victoria and his youngest children passed. "Thank you." His whispered in her ear, kissing her cheek.

Johnny winced at the sight. He and Heath should have had parents like that. He had no vision of his own father, the closest thing he had was the three months Tom was in Strawberry. His mamma was so happy. She smiled everyday. Then he left. And she cried. When his brother was born, she began to smile again. Then the fighting started.

The ladies in town quit paying her to sew dresses for them. The Reverend kept calling her a sinner. And Matt, he called her a whore. He demanded to know who Heath's father was. But his mamma never told. And from the day his little brother was born, he was labeled a bastard. A nobody. Looking at Tom and Victoria, Johnny knew Heath could now be somebody. He could be a son. Victoria could be the mother Heath never knew.

She reminded Johnny so much of his own mother. He remembered her clearly, Heath could only remember the fight. Heath would never admit it, but Johnny knew his brother's only memory of their mother was frightening. Heath had nightmares ever since that day.

"Tom, you can settle all this tomorrow. Give them one night to rest. I see it on their faces, they need rest." She gave one last look at the two boys at her dinner table and walked out of the room.

"Boys, let me introduce you to a game called pool." Tom walked behind them and put his hands on each shoulder. Johnny and Heath both stiffened at the touch, Tom noticed and quickly dropped his hands. He stepped back allowing room for the children to get up from the table. Tomorrow. He would sit down tomorrow and get all the answers he needed.

Later that night, after Heath beat both Johnny and Tom at a game of pool, the boys sat up talking. Victoria had two separate rooms ready, but Heath insisted on staying in his brother's room.

"Do you want me to wake you when I leave?" Johnny knew Heath would most likely wake up, he was the lightest sleeper. He also knew his little brother would want to go with him. "You know... you can't go with me, right?"

"Why not!!"

"Shhh, quiet!" Johnny gritted through his teeth. "Remember you have to be quiet. Why can't you ever remember that?!"

"Sorry, I promise I'll be quiet, as quiet as you." Heath whispered.

Johnny felt bad. He didn't want to hurt his brother, but there were just things he had to learn. "You don't have to whisper. Sometimes it's good just to say nothing. Maybe you can think or dream 'bout Mexico, or something like that. You don't always have to talk. Our mamma was like that, just try to be like our mamma."

"OKay Johnny."

The older boy waited for that silence. "Good." He paused, then went on. "Now, I don't want you to come with me."

"But..." Heath pleaded with his eyes.

Johnny held up his hand, stopping Heath from speaking. "Be like our mamma, remember... silence." He waited until Heath let out a sigh of reluctance and finally gave into silence.

"I'll be back in three days. Then Mexico." Johnny pulled a coin out of his pocket. "Here... here is my lucky coin. You keep it for me." He placed the small coin in his little brother's hand and closed the small fingers over it. Heath looked up at his brother. His eyes began to water. "You've never seen me without it, right?"

"Never." As far back as Heath could remember, Johnny always had that coin in his pocket. There wasn't a day that went by that Johnny didn't have that coin. Heath never understood why the coin was so special, but he knew it was.

"Right. Now, you're more special than that 'ole coin. And you've seen how much I love that coin." Johnny paused waiting for his words to sink in. "Well... I love you more. You don't think I'd leave the two things I love most in the world, do ya?"

"No."

"You're right. I just want you to be safe. I hate Matt, Heath. I hate him so bad, it hurts. And I don't ever want you to hate that way. If I get rid of him, Heath, you'll never have to hate." Johnny grabbed his young brother's shoulders and forcing Heath to make eye contact. Tears were rolling down both faces. "And all you'll have in this world is love. Let me do this one thing for you. So please, just wait for me."

Heath looked at his brother for a long time, he wanted to make Johnny proud of him. He trusted Johnny more than anyone in his life. And if Johnny wanted him to stay here, he would. He would just wait. Wait until his big brother came back.

Johnny stayed awake listening to Heath sleep. The nightmare would start soon, it always did about an hour after Heath fell asleep and again early in the morning. Everynight. Every morning. Tonight, Johnny listened for it to start, so he could stop it before it got too far. He didn't want Heath to scream. "Heath, wake up." Johnny nudged him enough to stop the dream. Heath opened his eyes. "Johnn..." The blue eyes closed when he felt his brother's arm lay over his stomach.

Johnny woke up before the second nightmare. It was time. He moved and Heath sat up in bed. "You're leaving."

"Three days, buddy." Johnny got dressed and opened the window. Looking out, he knew he could reach the tree and climb down. Johnny turned to his brother standing next to him and hugged the blond boy. "I love you."

"I love you, too. Be careful, Johnny."

"Hey, you're the one who has to be careful. Who's always fallin' and gettin' hurt?"

Heath smiled and silently watched his brother crawl out the window, climb down the tree, and walk out of sight. He watched the only father he had leave him, what was he going to do?

Heath was sitting on the window ledge later that morning when Tom came to wake the boys for breakfast. "Heath?" Tom looked around for a sign of Johnny. And he had a bad feeling something was wrong. "Where's your brother?"

Heath turned to Tom and sucked his breath. What was he going to say? He turned from his father and gazed back outside. Johnny didn't tell him what to say.

"Heath, I asked you a question son, where's your brother?" Tom was getting agitated.

He had to think quick. "He went to San Francisco."

"SAN FRANCISCO!! What in the world would he be going there for?!" Tom stormed across the room and grabbed Heath's arm. The boy flinched and Tom let go. He couldn't understand, why would Johnny go to San Francisco? And why would he leave in the middle of the night? And what was his blond son not telling him?

Tom walked Heath over to the bed and sat him down. "Heath, you've got to tell me what is going on. Last night at the dinner table, I had the feeling you and Johnny were hiding something. If you boys are in trouble, you've got to tell me. I'm your father, I am here to help you."

Heath looked silently at his father. He wanted to scream at him, tell him no FATHER would leave his son. Heath wanted to tell him that because of him, he was a bastard. To tell him that the only father he ever had left to kill a man who beat him and kill their mother. But he didn't. He just closed his eyes and laid his head back on the bed.

Tom watched the silent boy. He could play that game too. "Fine, I'll just find Johnny without your help. I'll start in San Francisco."

Heath smiled to himself. Good. As far away from Strawberry as he could get the better.

"No, maybe I'll go to Lawson. That is where you said you boys were living."

Heath still laid silent.

"Wait just a minute, maybe I'll start at the beginning. A place that will give me all the answers I need. Strawberry."

Heath opened his eyes quickly. Tom was right, something happened in Strawberry. "Wait." The little voice struggled. He couldn't let Tom go to Strawberry. Johnny said to never tell. He didn't want everyone to know what happened there. And Heath didn't want anyone to know, either. He just wanted to forget that town.

Tom stopped pacing when Heath sat up. "He really did go to San Francisco. The people, the ones we lived with when our mamma died, they live there. Johnny just wanted to tell them we found you and we're okay."

Tom sat on the edge of the bed. Heath unknowingly moved back. "Are you telling me the truth?" Tom wasn't sure he should believe anything either of the boys told him.

"Yeah, I promise I am. He just had to take care of that one thing and he said he'd be back in a few days." Heath prayed Johnny would be back soon.

"But why didn't he just tell me? I could have sent a telegram or taken you both back myself?"

Heath sighed. "Mr. Barkley, Johnny and I have been takin' care of ourselves for a long time, why should we tell you anything?"

"Because I'm your father."

"But you're not Johnny's." Heath got off the bed and started to walk out of the room.

Tom could tell he was fighting a losing battle. What could he say to that? "What's the names of your friends?"

Heath was trying to remember names. Names of people Johnny would mention. "Rachel. Rachel and Anna."

Tom had a flicker of memory. "Hannah? Do you mean Rachel and Hannah?"

Heath gritted his teeth, Hannah... how could he forget? "That's what I said, Rachel and Hannah! Aren't ya listenin' to me?!"

Tom remember the two older women. They were helping Leah raise Johnny. Hannah was a runaway slave. And Rachel, she was like a mother to Leah. Of course, they would raise the boys. But they knew about Tom, why would they never contact him in the four years since Leah died? They would have all the answers Tom needed.

"Heath, do you remember where they lived in the city?"

Heath shook his head. "Johnny knows those things. Look, he said he be back in a few days. Now, I'm hungry. Didn't you say ya'll ate breakfast around here?"

Tom got up. Heath wasnt' going to be helpful. Tom would just have to wire the Pinkerton Agency. He would have them investigat everything about Heath's and Johnny's lives. As for Johnny, Tom would trust that he'd be back. He knew Johnny would never leave Heath. In the short time he saw them together, Tom noticed that Johnny was Heath's 'father'. He was his little brother's protector. Tom knew Johnny would be back. And when he did, Tom was going to have a long talk with that boy. He was still hesitent about Johnny being in San Francisco, but he knew Rachel and Hannah. They were good women. They must have felt like Johnny could handle bringing Heath here by himself. Tom had the feeling Johnny was an old twelve-year-old. He would never let Nick...

"Heath?" Tom thought of something. "Was Johnny going to take the train to San Francisco?"

"Yeah..." Heath was nervous.

"Well, where did he get the money?"

"Uh, Rachel bought him a ticket. She told him to come back and tell her everything went okay. And for Johnny to bring some things back."

"How did she know just to buy Johnny a ticket and not you?" Something was just not right about this whole story.

"I don't know Mr. Barkley, maybe she thought you'd be happy to find out you HAD A SON!" Heath stormed out of the room. He had to get out of there. Tom was asking too many questions, and Heath was getting in deeper and deeper.

"Heath! Wait!" Tom went after his son. He grabbed Heath's arm on the way down the stairs. "I am happy. I am very happy that I have you for a son." Heath jerked his arm back, but didn't take off. Tom motioned for them to continue down the stairs. This boy was going to be a tough one.

"Come on, let's go eat."

When Tom and Heath entered the dining room, the rest of the family had already started eathing.

"I'm sorry we didn't wait... where's Johnny?" Victoria was puzzled at the look on her husband's face.

"Yeah, where's the other one?"

"Nick, that's enough!" Tom directed Heath to sit next to Nick as he told the family what Heath had told him. Victoria watched her husband as he spoke. She was sure Tom didn't believe everything Heath said, but he acted like he did.

Johnny made it back to Strawberry in a little over a day.

"Mamma..." Johnny stood over his mother's grave. "I took Heath to his papa. He's safe now. Nobody's ever gonna hurt him like they use to. They can't say he's a bastard anymore. And they can't say you were a whore. I remember Tom. He is a nice man, a good man. I know you loved him."

Johnny fell to his knees and laid a single broken flower over the small unmarked stone. "I couldn't protect you. I really tried. I just wasn't big enough, but I am now. I am gonna get Matt for what he did to you. And for what he did to Heath. I..."

He laid down his head. "I'm gonna take care of Heath forever. Matt will never hurt him or anyone again. Oh, Mamma..." He let out a sob.

"Hey young fella, you okay?" An older man walked up behind Johnny. He had been watching the boy talk to the small stone for about a half an hour.

Johnny quickly turned on his knees. He was ready to protect his mother's honor, even through the grave. When he saw his was just a harmless old man, he turned back to his mamma.

"Tonight's the night, Mamma." He stood and started to walk past the old man.

"People call this place an empty garden. I don't really see it that way though. I think this place is full of beauty." The old man walked over to the blank stone holding the small flower.

"Is this your mamma?" He paused. "Yeah, I guess it is. No one would leave a beautiful flower for just anyone. I bet your mamma is proud of you."

"Yeah, she will be." Johnny looked back at the unmarked grave.

The old man put his hands on the young boy's shoulders. "I'm sure she's already proud of you, son. A good boy who remembers his mamma and brings her a flower. She must have been a special woman to raise such a good boy. There's not many good boys around these days." The old man walked away from Johnny, mummbling to himself.

A good boy? Johnny sat back down. What kind of good boy was he gonna be? He was on his way to kill a man. A man who deserves to be killed, but to KILL. Would his mamma really be proud of him?

It was the middle of the third day, and Heath saw no sign of his brother. Tom was getting anxious himself. He couldn't get a straight answer out of Heath for anything. Either the boy would not talk, or he would keep saying Johnny knew everything. What was everything?

Tom questioned the station master in Stockton. The man didn't remember a boy matching Johnny's description riding the train to San Francisco. But Heath swore that was where his brother was headed. And if worrying about Johnny and arguing with Heath wasn't enough, Tom still had two angry boys on his hands. Jarrod was beginning to come around with Heath, he would at least try to make some sort-of conversation with the quiet boy. But Nick, he avoided Heath and Tom at all costs.

"Victoria, I think it's time I force my hand. I'm taking the rest of the afternoon off and am taking Jarrod, Nick and Heath fishing. Maybe some time together will do them good. I won't question Heath, and I won't make Nick and Jarrod talk if they don't want to. But..."

Victoria knew what her husband was trying to say. He wanted his family to get along. He was tired. In a short three days, everyone in this house grew up. Unfortunately, too early for some. "I know dear." She crossed the room and gave her husband a hug. "I know." She whispered in his ear.

He needed her. He needed the support. "Thank you."

She pulled back and started towards the kitchen. "They are all upstairs washing for lunch, call them down. Silas and I will make you some sandwiches for lunch."

"Boys! Jarrod, Nick, Heath... come downstairs, please."

Jarrod and Nick entered the living room. "Yeah?"

Tom sucked in his breath. He would pick his battles. Right now he didn't want to fight. "Where's your brother?"

"Jarrod's right here."

"Nick! You know who I mean!"

"Gene is..."

"NICHOLAS!! I don't want to fight with you today!"

"I don't know where he is Father." Jarrod was tired of fighting too.

Tom looked at Jarrod. "Your mother said you all were washing up. Wasn't he upstairs?" Jarrod shook his head.

"I haven't seen the squirt all day, not since breakfast." Nick figured his father was going to ask him anyway.

"Victoria! Silas!" Tom called his wife and servant from the kitchen. "Have either of you seen Heath since breakfast?"

"No, Tom. After breakfast I thought he went with you."

"I saw him a couple of hours ago, Mr. Barkley. He was sittin' on that windowsill in his room. Just lookin' out the window, like he's been doin' since Mister Johnny left."

Tom and Victoria looked at each other and widened their eyes.

"Tom, you don't think?"

"Yes, I do."

"What?" Jarrod and Nick asked in unison.

"Tom, he's just a little boy."

"I know! Jarrod, you and Nick, check the barn and the bunkhouse, maybe he's just playing around the ranch. Vic, you and Silas, check the house. I'm gonna try to head towards town." Tom was barking orders in such a frantic state that Jarrod and Nick knew something was wrong.

There was a knock at the door. Everyone froze. Maybe it was Heath. He still knocked even though Tom and Victoria said this was his house too.

When Tom opened the door, he breathed a sigh of relief. He knelt down and hugged the boy. "Johnny! Where have you been?!" Tom let go of the boy and looked past him. "Where's Heath?"

"What do you mean, 'Where's Heath'?" Johnny pulled away from Tom. "I told him to stay here!" He mummbled under his breath. Johnny turned and started to run. "Dammitt, I told him to stay!! He went to find me!" The boy was in such a frantic that Tom had to grab him and force Johnny to look at him.

"What are you talking about?!"

"You don't understand! Heath thinks I did it, but I didn't! Matt's still alive. He can still hurt Heath!!! Why didn't I just do it?!"

Tom pulled Johnny in. "What in the world are you talking about?! Where is your brother? Who can hurt him?!"

"He musta, he musta gone after me. I knew I shoulda..." Johnny was almost frantic.

"You think he went to San Francisco?"

"SAN FRANCISCO!?" Nick and Jarrod yelled in unison.

"Boys..." Victoria was trying to quiet them down.

"HE'S JUST A KID!!" Nick started to pace.

"He couldn't get on the train. Where'd he get the money?" Jarrod was trying to be logical.

Everyone was speaking at once. Nick and Jarrod were now becoming concerned about their new brother.

"San Francisco? Why do you think he went there? He's headin' back to Strawberry. He thinks I'm still there. If Matt..." Johnny jerked back from Tom and headed for the door.

Tom took chase and caught the desperate boy. "Johnny, what's wrong? Who is Matt? What happened to you two?"

Jarrod and Nick were at their father's side, also waiting for the answer. They'd never seen someone so desperate, so terrified. Victoria had also followed her family. She wanted answers. But more than that, she wanted her new son back home. "Tom, just go to Strawberry and bring our boy back. He couldn't be more than a few hours ahead of you. Follow the stage..." She turned to Johnny. "Do you think he took the stage? Does he have any money?"

Johnny looked at this woman. She was concerned. She wanted to help. Victoria was a mother. Heath's new mother. His new mother. "We buried some money before we came here. It is at the edge of the property. I took some when I left, but there's enough left for Heath."

Victoria looked at Tom. "Go."

"Ciego, saddle two horses, quickly..." He yelled out to the barn.

"Father, we're going too." Nick spoke up for himself and Jarrod.

"Boys, I don't have...."

"Tom, let them. Just hurry." Victoria's heart was heavy, she had a bad feeling.

The four left. And began a silent search for their brother and son. Each person in their own thoughts. Before they left, Tom sent a hand to town to send a telegram to the sheriff in Strawberry. Hopefully the sheriff would get Heath off the stage. Johnny commented that the sheriff would be of no help.

"He didn't care before, why should he now? He'll probably give Heath over..." Johnny suddenly stopped talking and rode his horse harder.

Tom kept wondering what Johnny meant. What happened in that town? Why was Johnny so frantic? Where was his little boy? And why was he feeling so frightened?

Reaching Strawberry when it was just turning dark, Tom didn't know where to look for his son. Johnny said little on the trip, but everyone felt the tension.

"I'm going to the sheriff's, you boys stay here." Tom directed his statement to all three boys, but only looked at Johnny. All he needed was to lose him too.

As soon as Tom was out of sight, Johnny headed in the other direction.

"JOHNNY, WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOIN'? FATHER SAID TO STAY HERE!" Nick reached and grabbed the boy's arm.

"You'd better stay Johnny, maybe the sheriff has Heath." Jarrod feared he was going to have a fight on his hands.

"HA! That sheriff could give a damn about me or Heath. Besides, I think I know where MY brother is!" With that, Johnny jerked away from Nick and headed into the dark.

"HEY!!" Nick started to follow, but Jarrod grabbed his arm.

"Let's just get Father."

Johnny stopped at the edge of the building. He stooped on one knee and reached under the raised porch. 'It had to still be here!' He sighed in relief as he felt the cold steel. It was what he should have done all along. He pulled out the gun and went into the hotel.

"Heath." He almost whispered his brother's name. Even if Heath wasn't here, Johnny knew he had to get rid of Matt. The threat was too great. Johnny and Heath stole so much money from him. Over four years worth of money. A little here and a little there. But the last day, they stole ALL the money. Matt knew by now. And he would always be after them. He would never let them get away with what they did. Besides, the money was just the excuse Matt needed. He hated them anyway. Especially Heath. Their mamma would never tell Matt who Heath's father was. And if Matt ever found out... the Barkley's were so rich. Matt would somehow...

"Heath..." Johnny opened the door to the cellar. Matt was always in the cellar... drinking and beating... if he had Heath, this is where he would be. It was so dark.

"Heath..."

"JOHNNY!"

"Matt!"

Johnny felt someone grab his throat and he dropped to his knees. The gun left his grasp. All struggle engulfed the darkness of the cellar. Then a shot...

"FATHER!!" Tom, Nick, and Jarrod hurried there pace. The boys were pointing in the direction Johnny went.

Heath looked up from his mother's grave. 'That came from the hotel!' He'd been searching for Johnny a couple of hours. He went to their old house. When he saw Matt alive, Heath feared the worse. He thought Johnny was dead. But he didn't FEEL it. He knew Johnny had to be here somewhere. So he went to the grave. Johnny always went there when he needed to think. Heath hated going there, but Johnny, he loved it. To Heath it was just an empty garden. Nothing good could ever come out of it. Only people with no names... people like him.

Heath started to walk towards the sound of the shot when he saw Tom, Nick, and Jarrod. 'What were they doing here?'

"That's where Johnny went, Father."

"He said he'd know where Heath would be."

'Oh, no... the cellar!' Heath ran past the trio towards the hotel.

"Heath!!!" The blond boy did not stop. Tom raced fast enough to grab his son's arm.

"LET GO!!!" Heath struggled against his father, kicking and swinging with all his seven-year-old might. "IT"S JOHNNY!! HE NEEDS ME!!"

Tom pushed the struggling boy into the hands of his other sons. "WAIT HERE!!!" He headed into the hotel.

Heath kicked Jarrod in the shin and bit Nick's hand, forcing the boys to loosen their grip.

"CUT THAT OUT!!"

"Heath, stop it!"

Heath pushed back one more time and forced his two struggling brothers a step away, giving the blond boy the opening he needed to head inside. Nick and Jarrod followed their towhead brother inside.

"JOHNNY!!!"

"FATHER!!"

Heath headed for the cellar door when he the familiar and unfamiliar screaming and... another shot.

...Continued