A REAL FRIEND

A simple friend identifies himself when he calls,
A real friend doesn't have to.

A simple friend opens a conversation with a full news bulletin on his life,
A real friend says, "What's new with you?"

A simple friend thinks the problems you whine about are recent,
A real friend says, "You've been whining about the same thing for 14 years. Get off your duff and do something about it."

A simple friend has never seen you cry,
A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.

A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names,
A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.

A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party,
A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.

A simple friend hates it when you call after he has gone to bed,
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.

A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems,
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.

A simple friend wonders about your romantic history,
A real friend could blackmail you with it.

A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest,
Real friends opens your refrigerator and helps himself/herself.

A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument,
A real friend knows that it's not a friendship until after you've had a fight.

A simple friend expects you to always be there for them,
A real friend expects to always be there for you!