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Greetings web surfers. I am glad that you decided to stop by the site built by the coolest guy on the planet born between 1972 and 1987. In case you didn't realize it, I will be the emperor of the universe some day, so you might as well send me fancy gifts (be creative) to get on my good side. If you would like to be emperor of the world some day, you might want to consider these tips. Future emperors, or F.E.'s, usually live in rural states such as South Dakota and in medium-small towns such as Brookings. F.E's in general take up such hobbies as unicycling, camping, hiking, and canoing. F.E.'s must like the friendly frog, Kermit. The most popular vehical for a future emperor is either an IH Scout or a Dodge Challenger, depending on the function. If you ever want to become an F.E. you had better start listening to Jerry Reed, The Charlie Daniels Band, or any other band of a similar nature. As a rule of thumb F.E.'s are always cross country runners. Every wednesday night a Future emperor must attend their church youth group. To become an F.E. you must show interest in Physics, use a Hewlet Packard calculator, celebrate Mole Day, and subscribe to Popular Science. The preferred outdoor equipment of an emperor of the universe is (of course) Lowe Alpine. An F.E.'s favorite cereal is Lucky Charms. The favorite comic strip of a future emperor of the universe is Calvin and Hobbes. An F.E. must wish he could snowboard, skateboard, white water kayak, dunk a basketball, do hacky sack tricks, predict the future, and cook, but not accually have any of those abilities. Last of all a Future Emperor of the Entire Universe must use the phrase "Way to go Idaho" more than 7 times a week. If you don't meet even one of these requirements you will never be eligible for the position of Emperor of the Entire Universe. NOTE: The writer of this page had nothing to do with creation of the Emperor criteria. If their is accually a second person is this world (other than J.V.) who meets all of the requirements, that person will be forced to have a spoon fencing dual with J.V., to the death.
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