Mank. It's evil. It's mean. Discovering it's in your vicinity is about as welcome as finding a used contraceptive in your morning bowl of corn flakes. But what the clumpering hell do you actually do when confronted with the ultimate manifestation of malevolence and vaguely disgruntled bad-tempered aggression in the solar system?
Simple. Run the hell away. Choose the point directly opposing the mank on the horizon, and make for it with all possible velocity. Of course, life is not always as simple as we wish it to be. In certain cases you may have no option but to face the Mank in all its evil glory. For example, you may be having a pint, and the mere fact that your survival prospects match up unfavourably to the prospects of a mentally challenged sea anenome attempting to master the niceities of advanced Quantum Electrodynamics makes little odds when compared with the fact that you're not going to leave a half empty glass behind and have people think you're some sort of woosey non-pint-finishing person.
Obviously such a situation is grave indeed. So, apart from finishing your pint and then running the hell away, how can your actions increase your scanty chances of being around long enough to order another one? Firstly, try to look inconspicuous. A good way of doing this is to set someone near you on fire. Regular petrol works extremely well, but to really get them blazing jet fuel is the way to go. Careful!, mind, You wouldn't want to blow yourself up in the process of attempting to save your own skin in a cowardly and homocidal fashion (unless you're into that sort of thing).
Another way of increasing the lowness of your profile in face of deadly danger is to encourage one of the people around you to attract attention to themselves by making large amounts of noise. Unexpectedly poking them in the eye with a blunt stick should have the desired effect. It is imperative to use a blunt stick, as a sharp one may fatally reduce the unfortunate bystander's ability to vocally express their emotion at the viciously unpleasant direction which the course of events has taken for them. Always remember, you're not trying to kill them, just encourage the mank to kill them so that you have time to finish your pint and quickly vacate the area.
