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Mank. Many have heard, not all have believed. Now, for the first time, those who created what has become the legend that is Mank, have gone public with the the story of what the Mank is, and how it came to be. The story began on a perfectly normal day in the middle of May 1999. Three normal, healthy, fun-loving young men became embroiled in a series of events that were to have an astonishingly minimal affect on their lives, but were later to be blown totally out of all proportion, and put on a badly designed web-page.
It began with pudding. White pudding, the worst kind. Pudding of the ilk that would poke you in eye and run away, or, without any provocation, kick you up the arse as you bend to tie your shoelace. Pudding of the kind that would hit your children with a blunt stick, or sneak into the home of a blind person and move the furniture around. Pudding, in other words, so vicious, so bent on harm, so stupendously and malevolently evil, that even the crimes of the notorious Pat the B*stard or Crazy Joseph, raper of canines, pale into pitiful insignificance when compared with it's potential for damage to the human race, and carbon-based life forms in general.
And after the pudding there was fizzy orange. As the pudding, uncooked, reposed inside a bowl contemplating acts of despicable awfulness, the steadfast three, sparing no thought for the consequences of their actions for themselves, with magnicent cunning and dauntless courage surprised the pudding by covering it with fizzy orange and microwaving the hideous result at full power for several minutes. Confident now that they had vanquished this paragon of nastiness, the three approached the now foul smelling cooking device and opened the door. What happened next was beyond what the human mind should ever have to endure. The pudding had not proved as easy to conquer as the valiant three had thought, but instead had combined with the fizzy orange to form what they were later to realise was the beginning of the Mank.
