The Balanced Woman
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By subscription only! Welcome to the sixth issue of:
"THE BALANCED WOMAN".
We have grown so much since the September issue. Our subscriber
base doubled again! Thanks to all of you who have encouraged your
friends to subscribe! You are important to us. So rest assured
we will NEVER sell or give away your email addresses to anyone!!
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IN THIS ISSUE
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=> Welcome
=> Feature Article: Organizational
Skills
=> Household Tip
=> Guest Column: "Fantasies
Women Have About
the Workforce Which Keep Them
Underemployed"
=> Parenting Tip
=> Keeping Romance Alive
=> Pampering Yourself
=> How to be a Guest Columnist
=> Guest Column: Charity
or Scam
=> Direct Answers from Wayne
and Tamara
=> On the Web
=> Classified Ads
=> Subscribe/Un subscribe
information
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WELCOME
Wow! September was a busy month! Our subscriber base passed the
1,000 mark; the results of our latest survey came in and we launched a
brand new website http://www.betweenfriends.org! If you haven't visited
lately you might want to check back. It now contains daily features
such as horoscopes and good news (yes, good news). And if you're
an entrepeneur you must take a look at our new ebook "108 Things You Need
to Know About Record Keeping for Your Business" at http://www.betweenfriends.org/taxtips.htm.
Recently we sent out a survey asking you if you wanted to see The Balanced Woman as IS OR more often, with less content. Overwhelmingly you voted to see it more often with less content. However, out of almost 1500 subscribers only 160 of you voted. So please help us to serve you better and vote if you haven't yet. The URL to cast your ballot is: http://www.onelist.com/surveycenter/-TheBalancedWoman(NOTE: some of you are subscribed to TheBalancedWoman (no hyphen before "The". If so, please adjust the URL above to reflect this difference)
And finally, we wanted to include a wonderful article in this issue
on increasing your child's IQ. The article is by John Payne who has
a FANTASTIC ezine! Unfortunately, we ran out of space here.
So please visit it on the web at:
http://angelfire.com/sd/BalancedWoman/john.html. It includes
subscription information for his free ezine which is well worth the read!
Please subscribe while you're there.
Well I guess that's it for now. But stay tuned because next month
we're going to run a much needed article on de-stressing the holidays.
Until then...
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FEATURE ARTICLE, ORGANIZATIONAL SKILLS
by Jacqueline McLaughlin Hale
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This is the third and last in a series of articles begun a couple months
ago about how to have “a more enjoyable life of balance”. It seems
as though today that’s what everyone is looking for. When you get
right down to it what you really need to put balance into your life--is
more time. Unfortunately we can’t control how many hours are in a
day. And so we must try to control, instead, how we spend the hours
we have. In previous newsletters we discussed ways to more effectively
manage time and methods to prioritize what it is time is spent on.
This month’s article looks at organizational skills as the final tool to
help you live life YOUR WAY!
You might be wondering what organizational skills have to do with putting more balance into your life. Doesn’t becoming better organized just mean “having a place for everything and everything in its place”? Big deal. What if you did have everything in its place? What difference could that possibly make?
It makes all the difference in the world!
Organizational skills can and do help you to cope with the world around you. They provide structure, they create a semblance of order and they reduce daily stress levels. How? Well, there is SO MUCH in the world today, so much to do, so much to read, so much to know, so much to learn, so much to choose from, so many places to go, so many routes to get there—SO MUCH! Without organizational skills to help us cope with the sensory overload, with the “so much” we’re exposed to constantly, we’d be overwhelmed and paralyzed by an endless stream of information to process and decisions to make. Don’t believe me? Probably because you take this area of organizational skills for granted. Think about it. What if you didn’t organize each day? You wouldn’t wake up at a consistent time each morning. You may not get dressed. You might not make it to work. You’d never have groceries in the house. You wouldn’t get the laundry done. You may not pay your bills. You probably wouldn’t accomplish anything. You’d spend your days thinking about all the things you COULD do but you’d probably never get around to doing them. This area of organization involves making a decision about what to do (hopefully using Conscious Prioritization skills) and figuring out when to do it (using Time Management skills).
The organizational skills you apply toward planning each day insure that you are at least somewhat productive and that you accomplish what you must. They direct the demands on your attention and give you some sense of control.
Organizational Skills are also at work when you have large or time-consuming projects you must accomplish. Thinking about them in their entirety can be overwhelming and discouraging. But by breaking these projects down into smaller more manageable pieces (i.e. organizing them) they don’t seem to be as difficult to achieve. For example, I am in the process of building a web site. The thought of building a whole site is very intimidating and, I must admit, it stopped me dead in my tracks for a while. But I finally took the task apart piece by piece and organized it. As a result I have registered a domain name, found a web host, built the shell of the site, and opened a merchant account. As a whole, the project was overwhelming. Individually, the tasks involved were small and accomplishable. Suddenly, I wasn’t tackling the whole all at once. I was tackling pieces. It felt better. And so it was.
Finally, yes, organizational skills are about having “a place for everything and everything is in its place”. When this has been mastered you don’t waste countless hours trying to find your most recent bank statement or last year’s tax return. You know exactly where they are because they are in their proper place. Conversely, when a bank statement arrives in the mail or when the tax return has been completed you know where to put them away immediately. This action prevents them from lying around, only to be moved over and over again, whenever they get in the way. Remember, the less you touch something, the more time you save. It is true that perhaps the time saved may mean only seconds here and seconds there. But throughout the course of a day or a week those seconds add up to minutes and hours.
I learned the importance of this kind of organization when my son was born. I was overwhelmed by the responsibility of a new infant. And so the last thing I wanted to be doing was looking around for blankets, burp cloths, baby wipes and diapers. Therefore, I kept all of those supplies on hand in the family room, in his room, in the car and in the kitchen. They were handy and convenient anywhere I spent time. I always KNEW where I could find whatever I needed when I needed it. My son is now 4 years old and although the blankets, burp cloths and diapers are long gone, I still keep a supply of baby wipes in all of the same locations!
The other supplies have been replaced by “bags”. We have a restaurant bag, a swimming bag, an airline bag and a shopping bag. Each bag remains stocked and ready to go with toys, snacks, baby wipes, or whatever is appropriate for the activity for which they’re packed. Because of this, I don’t have to spend time packing bags each time we go out. They’re already done. All I have to do is grab one and go! And the cost of all of these various bags is minimal. They’re inexpensive, vinyl bags purchased from Target or Wal-Mart.
I learned to do the same thing with cleaning supplies. For example, each bathroom has a full complement of all of the products I use to clean it. Consequently, I don’t have to lug Windex bottles around the house and I always know where my cleaning supplies are. It’s just easier and even a little bit quicker that way. And if you think about it I’m really not spending any more money on the supplies I use. I do have more, but I’m also not buying them as frequently.
“A place for everything and everything in its place.”
Organizational skills are the keystones to having a more balanced life. They work hand in glove with Conscious Prioritization and Time Management to help you design a more fulfilling life your way!
Jacqueline McLaughlin Hale is a CPA and the editor of
“The Balanced Woman” a monthly ezine. She is also the author
of The Woman’s Guide to Resumes and Interviewing, Lessons From a Toddler
and 77 Ways to Pamper Yourself. All of these publications are available
through AJAY Publishing at:
http://angelfire.com/sd/jobsearchforwomen.
Webmasters and publishers may use this article in
their ezine or website, as long as the *entire*
article is used, and the *copyright notice* and
*resource box* are left in tact, including this notice.
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Personal Note: Just a very few months ago I met a wonderful,
caring, supportive woman who changed my life, literally, in just a few
short weeks. She helped me to determine my dreams and she believed
in them as much as I did. She gave me the confidence to pursue them
and in doing so everything for me has changed for the better. She
is a personal life coach. If you think about it athletes have coaches,
successful business people often have coaches, businesses themselves have
coaches, so why not us? If you're interested please email Janina
Balfour at janina@kos.net.
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HOUSEHOLD TIP OF THE MONTH:
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Have you ever seen those round salsa makers? They're usually
clear acryllic with a chopping mechanism on the inside and a lid much like
a salad spinner. They have nothing to plug in. They are purely
manual.
Well, they work perfectly for chopping onions, green peppers or just about any other kind of vegetable you might need to cut into small pieces for a recipe.
All you have to do is cut your vegetable of choice into 4 or 5 large
pieces. Throw the pieces into the salsa maker and crank the handle.
In seconds, your vegetables will be diced. This is not only much
quicker than chopping with a knife but it's a lot safer for your fingers
too!
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Guest Column: "Fantasies Women Have About
the
Workforce Which Keep Them Underemployed"
by: Patricia Smith
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The door has been unlocked. There are more women than ever inhigh-paying
jobs. Yet most working women, even those in management, are clustered into
predominately female jobs and career paths. These women are almost always
lower-paid than men and women who work in male-dominated positions. Whether
we like it or not, if we want to earn more money, the most assured way
is to
do the jobs which pay more. You are much more prepared to do this than
you may think. If we want to jump the tracks, we need to recognize and
discard those attitudes which are in our way.
Fantasy: Women in those high-paying jobs have something I don¹t
have. I believe there are three reasons why most women do not pursue
positions
which they know to be higher-paying. They believe they lack sufficient
ambition. They see the sacrifices as too great. They view themselves
as unqualified.
Let¹s look at these, one at a time.
Ambition. Some people would have you analyze your feelings about
ambition until they are completely resolved. Women are more likely to want
this, we like to have everything determined and feel "comfortable" with
a certain behavior before we begin. You will probably retire before you
can accomplish it. Try to
simply put these bad feelings and all thoughts of ambition out of your
mind. Ambition is a vague concept, defined by different people in
various ways.
You work for many reasons, and one of them is money. If you had enough
ambition to get out of bed this morning, you have enough to pursue a new
career.
Sacrifice. You see women anchoring the news, selling cars, and
developing new software products. If you¹re like many of us, you may
see these positions as
requiring more sacrifice than your current job. You may believe that
these women will pay any price to climb further and earn more. The
fact is, different jobs require different kinds of sacrifices. Yes,
there are high-stress jobs which require long hours and travel. But
many, many jobs which pay more than yours require far less sacrifice than
you imagine. I am constantly amazed at the sacrifices women are willing
to make in long hours, extra work, harassment and belittling treatment,
when their paychecks hardly warrant any sacrifice. Be realistic, but don¹t
count
yourself out of a new career just because you have other priorities
in your life. Everyone does.
Qualifications. The issue of whether or not you are qualified
for a different career path is probably more simple, and at the same time,
more complex, than you thought. The word "qualify" has been overused
and abused in the workplace. In fact, it remains undefined and means different
things to different people, even
when they are talking about the same position. Women are much more
likely to consider "qualified" to mean technically competent. We
believe specific training and direct prior experience in that exact kind
of position is necessary. In fact, the position may require someone who
is politically savvy, and is able to bring a new prospective to the job.
In 1977, Betty Harragan (Games mother Never Taught You, Warner Books,Inc.)quoted
from a study in which men and women were asked how many of the appropriate
job skills they would need to have in order to "qualify" for a job. The
women responded that they would need all of the skills in order to qualify
for the job. Men, on the other hand, believed they needed an average
of 40% of those skills. Personally, I think this study would have the same
results if done today. You can probably think of some 40%¹ers who
got the job. If one person considers himself qualified with far
fewer skills than another, he will automatically feel more confident and
appear more confident. Well-paid women have learned to live with this.
They have recognized that if they wait to feel 100% qualified, they¹ll
miss their chance entirely. So will we. Change your view of competency
from perfection
at all times to excellence in the context of the job. Make your demands
on yourself more realistic, and you will start to consider yourself for
different opportunities. It is important to remember that all the
highly-paid men and women you know have learned what they know about the
workplace, it wasn¹t inherited. They are only people doing their jobs.
We don¹t have to be perfect at business, we just have to be better.
With a few adjustments, we can make an enormous difference in our incomes.
Patricia Smith Businesswoman and author of Each of Us: How Every Woman
Can Earn More Money in Corporate America, 1998, Q1 Communicators, Inc.http://www.eachofus.com
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PARENTING TIP OF THE MONTH
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Halloween Safety Tips:
1. Make sure your child wears light or reflective
substances on their costume.
2. Avoid masks or anything that will obstruct their
vision.
3. Provide an adult chaperone for your children when
they are out "trick or treating."
4. Do NOT allow your child to eat any candy until they
bring it home and you have inspected it.
5. Send your child "trick or treating" with a
flashlight.
6. Remind them to "stop, look and listen before they
cross the street"
7. Explain to your children that cars may have a
difficult time seeing them at night and encourage
them to be extra cautious because of this.
8. Give them a Halloween curfew.
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Take a stroll down Main Street Mom at http://www.mainstreetmom.com
where you can relax and do some refreshing reading, just for you Mom! We
offer support for the stay-at-home mom, humor, inspirational stories, money-saving
tips, and a nationwide playgroups page, which continues to grow everyday!
We also offer a weekly newsletter that you can receive by clicking on subscribe@mainstreetmom.com
See you on the streets where you live!
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ON KEEPING ROMANCE ALIVE
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Go to a haunted house, just your partner and you! Afterward find
a coffee house, preferably one with music. Sit, drink coffee, relax
and share some of your favorite fall memories from your childhood.
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ON PAMPERING YOURSELF
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Did you know that October is national mammogram month? What a
better time to remind you to: GET A MAMMOGRAM! Taking care of your
health truly is one of the best ways that you can pamper yourself!
excerpted from: 77 Ways to Pamper Yourself, by JA
Hale, copyright 1999
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How to be a guest columnist instructions
We LOVE receiving articles from our readers, or
anyone else. Please submit your articles to
jahale95@yahoo.com by the 15th of the month for
inclusion in the next month's newsletter.
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GUEST COLUMN:
Charity or Scam
THE DOLLAR STRETCHER
BY: Gary Foreman
gary@stretcher.com
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You want to help those who are less fortunate. That's good. And you're
not alone. According to the American Association of Fund-Raising Counsel,
giving in the U.S. by individuals rose to $135 billion in 1998.
But at the same time you want to make sure that your gift actually helps
those in need. It's no surprise that there are scam artists imitating charities
in an effort to get your money. So how can you make sure that your
contribution goes to a worthy cause?
It takes a little effort. You'll need to check out the charitable organization.
One source of information is the National Charities Information Bureau.
It's a non-profit organization that collects and reports on charities.
They offer a free sample of the "Wise Giving Guide". Just call 1-212-929-6300
or write them at NCIB, 19 Union Square West, New York, NY 10003. If you
have internet access you'll find them at www.give.org. You may also
choose to contact the charity yourself. In that case ask for a copy of
IRS Form 990, their annual report, a statement of functional expenses and
a budget for the coming year.
When you contact them ask some questions. For instance, do they hope
to find a cure for cancer or are they providing care for those who suffer
from
cancer. Will they have scientists on their staff doing the research
or will they be providing funding for a separate organization that's doing
the scientific work? Basically find out what they hope to accomplish and
how they plan on doing it.
Make sure that the organization is really who you think they are. Some
states allow names that can cause confusion. And some scam artists don't
mind breaking laws that prohibit sound-alike names. This is particularly
important when you're giving to a charity that's trying to respond quickly
to a natural
disaster like a tornado, hurricane or earthquake. You won't be able
to count on seeing logos that you've known since childhood.
Begin with IRS Form 990. It's not that hard to pull useful info from
the form. Any charity that collects over $25,000 and is not controlled
by a church
or religious organization is required to submit a Form 990 to the IRS.
Charities are required by law to make the form available to you. If they
won't give you a copy, you'll probably want to give your time and money
to some other organization. If you're checking out a religious charity
use the annual report for financial info.
Find out where the organization spends the money that's entrusted to
it. On lines 13 to 16 of Form 990 you'll find out how much goes where.
Look at the
'program activities' section. As a general rule, you'll want at least60%
of the expenses to be used for 'program service expenses'. That's the money
that
actually goes to help people. Many charities make an effort to get
this figure to 80% or more.
'Fund raising' shouldn't consume more than 30% of the money raised.
Some organizations have great names, but are little more than a way to
earn large salaries or commissions for raising funds. They'll claim that
they're raising money for handicapped children or disaster relief. Who
wouldn't want to help? But if highly paid fund raisers get most of
the money you're not really helping hurricane victims.
'Management and general' expenses cover the cost of accounting and
legal services, insurance and maintaining an office. In most cases this
should be
less than 20% of the total expenses. One warning about using
Form 990 to evaluate expenses. Some
charities receive donated materials and services. The IRS doesn't allow
the value of such donations to be included in Form 990. Suppose a bakery
donated $1000 in bread to a homeless shelter. Obviously $1000 in cash is
saved by the shelter. But both the amount of money raised and the money
spend on programs would be
understated by $1000. That makes the percentage spent on fundraising
and management go up.
To find a more detailed explanation of expenses go to Part II of Form
990. It'll give you an idea of how much money goes to salaries, travel,
phone, etc. Who's running the show is also important.
Part V of Form 990 will list the officers, board members and key
employees. You'll want to check out the salaries. Don't be automatically
alarmed if some of the top employees make $100,000 or more. Remember that
it takes a lot of skill to run a national organization. It's similar to
running a business. And in a time when CEO's are making $1 million plus,
it might mean that an organization has to offer more to attract qualified
employees. Of course, some people who run charitable
organizations choose to do it for little or no pay. You'll need to
decide for yourself if the salaries seem excessive.
There are other clues that a charity might be less than honest.Some
danger signs include emotional, high pressure phone solicitations; a refusal
to send written info on the organization, or telling you that you've won
a prize from the charity. Common sense applies. Organizations that are
ethical are
willing to wait and won't push you to make a decision. They're willing
to have you look at their records because they have nothing to hide.
Don't give cash to charities. A check made out to the organization
is much more likely to reach it's goal. Only give your credit card number
to charities that you've worked with in the past and that have earned your
trust. A charity may call or write and say that you've made a pledge
and they haven't received it. If you don't remember making the pledge don't
feel
obligated to honor it. There's a good chance that you never promised
them anything.
The urge to help others is one of the noblest human desires. But
falling victim to a scam cheats not only you, but the people you're trying
to help.
______________________________
Gary Foreman edits The Dollar Stretcher website <www.stretcher.com>.You'll
find the web's largest collection of free time and money saving articles.
There's even a free weekly email newsletter
<mailto:subscribe-dollar-stretcher-2@xc.org>. Start saving today!
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Direct Answers from Wayne and Tamara
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Closer Than You Think
Well, that’s it! I have had my heart broken for the last time.
I give up on love. I’m sick and tired of women. One minute
they love you and the next minute they don’t. I just don’t get it,
so I give up.
I have thought about this for a long time. Who needs this garbage?
Well I did, but not anymore. Thanks to everyone I gave my heart to
and who threw it in the trash. If it is meant to be that I spend
the rest of my life alone, then so be it. Being alone and happy with
myself has to be better than being with
someone and knowing sooner or later she will break my heart.
So I giveup!
Ray, I hear your anger and frustration loud and clear. I’ve been
there. Everywhere you go you see happy couples. It seems like
you’re the only guy in the world who doesn’t have someone. Let’s
go to the pub and have a brew. Just you and me. Good riddance
to women! Who needs ‘em! We’ll talk sports and politics and
bore ourselves silly, because deep down we know what we really want and
need is love. Deep down we know we’ll never give up, because to give
up on
love is to give up on life. You talk about falling out of love.
You fall out of boats, but you
don’t fall out of love. You fall out of like. Like is that
temporary thing, the feeling of newness, infatuation, and sexual attraction.
It feels great while it lasts, but when the negatives outweigh the
positives, it’s over. And when it’s over, it feels like you fell
out of a boat. The real deal isn’t like that. When you get
to the point where you’re
not playing games with anyone on any level. When you get to the
point where you’ve had it. When you get to the point where you are
just living your life, doing what’s in you to do. That’s when the
right
person can finally see you and you can see them. That’s when
you find the love that lasts a lifetime.
That’s where you are right now. That’s how it happened for me.
Wayne
An Empty Box
What’s the deal with women liking tall men? I can’t help wondering
why. I’m 5’6”, and I like a girl who is 5’11”. She told me
once she prefers guys who are 6’2”. What if a woman came up to me,
told me how she felt, and I said: “Sorry…I’m flattered, but you’re
a blonde with blue eyes, and I prefer brunettes with hazel eyes.”
How superficial can some women be?
To this day, I still believe it’s what you feel inside that should
matter more than anything else. When two people can talk about anything,
or seem to be on the same wavelength, that’s being compatible! I’d
love to hear what you think.Hugh
Hugh, a friend of ours was visiting Los Angeles when a street vendor
approached him. The vendor showed him boxes and boxes of new VCR’s
at an incredible price. Our friend snatched one up, thinking what
a steal
he had made. When he returned to his motel and unwrapped the
box, it seemed like a lot of money to pay for the three bricks he found
inside.
The wrapping is what gets tossed aside. It’s what’s inside that
matters. Your tall girlfriend is choosing her present from under
the Christmas tree by the color of the wrapping. Her image of the
ideal man is just the thing that may prevent her from seeing the one who
is perfect for her. Her fantasy is in the way.
You know what is real and lasting. A deep connection and true
feelings are what make two people exactly right for each other.Tamara
Wayne & Tamara Mitchell are the authors of YOUR OTHER HALF (www.YourOtherHalf.com).
Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO 964, Springfield, MO 65801-0964
or
e-mail: DirectAnswers@echowork.com.
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On the Web
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Parenting advice: Ann Landers
<a href="http://www.angelfire.com/sd/BalancedWoman/parenting.html"></a>
Some Interesting Perspectives:
<a href="http://www.angelfire.com/sd/BalancedWoman/perspective.html"></a>
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DISCLAIMER
The contents herein are solely the opinions of "The Balanced Woman"
editors, and should not be considered as a form of therapy nor advice.
There is no guarantee of validity or accuracy. The Balanced Woman
assumes no responsibility for injury and specifically disclaims any warranty,
express or implied for any products or services mentioned. If expert
assistance or counseling is needed, services of a competent professional
should be sought
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Copyright 1999, JA Hale
Editors Comments:If any of you have any ideas,
comments and suggestions on how we can improve this
e-zine please let me know. Just send an email to:jahale95@yahoo.com
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