Mistress (misítris) noun 1 : a woman who has power, authority, or ownership: as a) the female head of a household b) a woman who employs or supervises servants c) a woman who is in charge of a school or other establishment d) a woman of the Scottish nobility having a status comparable to that of a master 2 a) chiefly British : a female teacher or tutor b) a woman who has achieved mastery in some field 3: something personified as female that rules, directs, or dominates [when Rome was mistress of the world] 4 a) a woman other than his wife with whom a married man has a continuing sexual relationship b) archaic : sweetheart 5 a) - used archaically as a title prefixed to the name of a married or unmarried woman b) chiefly Southern & Midland : Mrs. 1a
X (eks) noun 1 a) the 24th letter of the English alphabet b) a graphic representation of this letter c) a speech counterpart of orthographic x 2: Ten 3: a graphic device for reproducing the letter x 4: one designated x especially as the 24th in order or class, or the first in an order or class that includes x, y, and sometimes z 5: an unknown quantity 6: something shaped like or marked with the letter X
|This is "Mistress X." She
is a 1988 Ford Mustang GT. Actually, this is "The Mistress." "The Mistress" is
the original incarnation of "Mistress X." "The Mistress" became "Mistress X"
after extensive modifications transformed her from a run-of-the-mill 1988 Ford
Mustang GT into a street terror extraordinaire! In her transformed state she is barely controllable. Her tires
breathe smoke with her potent acceleration. Her roar is deafening. Cervical
vertebrae herniate (C-6 in particular) as her occupants' heads are slammed
back into her seats' head rests. He dares not unleash her too often upon the
unsuspecting populace. For now she rests silently in her deathly gray
aspect. I approach her with caution.
Mistress X in Action
Mistress X in Action 2
This is the heart that makes "Mistress X" a tried and true road warrior. It is a wish list of top-quality components able to provide her driver (Walter) with more than ample power on demand. "Mistress X" sings a Sirenesque song of seduction when mellow, but her roar is meant to be heeded when she is awakened from her slumber.
Very recently,"Mistress X" underwent a heart transplant. She has recovered nicely and was up and around town only days later. For the curious, a new Ford Motorsport GT-40 engine with aluminum heads and E303 cam beats within her. Add to that a Trick Flow Street Heat intake manifold, Motorsport 30 lb. per hour fuel injectors, BBK 70mm throttle body and C&L 75mm mass air flow sensor and she really moves. She exhausts through Hooker equal length shorty headers, hi-flo H-pipe with catalytic converters and Flow Master American Thunder mufflers and tailpipes. "Mistress X" also sports a Powerdyne centrifugal supercharger to 'up the ante' in her power production potential. (nice alliteration, huh?)
"Mistress X" has been described by Walter as "A childhood dream fulfilled; The end of higher education" in his 1991 poem "Joyride." She has been featured in several other poems and short short stories. To Walter, she is more than just a mode of transportation. She is more than a possession. She is a time capsule of memories shared with people who have moved on to other things, and may no longer be a physical presence in Walter's life. She is an escape when life is in rapid transition and contemplation in solitude is required. She is pleasure in the purest form when the countryside is in need of exploration on a sleepy Sunday afternoon. She is, quite simply, "Mistress X!"
"Mistress X" is a high performance car, and as a result, she is not very fuel efficient. This presents a problem for Walter and his sense of environmentalism. However, she is more fuel efficient than the latest crop of SUVs being marketed, which, not necessarily a consolation, is a sobering revelation. How and why is it that vehicles just rolling onto the market are getting much less fuel economy than a production car from 1988 that has since been modified approximately 75% over its original 225 horsepower rating? Where are the alternative fuel vehicles? Walter is incessant in maintaining her at optimum efficiency so that she complies with all emissions regulations. Her oil is recycled and her antifreeze is disposed of in accordance with the local guidelines in Walter's municipality. Her AC system is checked regularly to ensure system integrity and to minimize refrigerant leakage.
In order to placate Walter's sense of environmentalism, he purchased a "green" car to supplant "Mistress X" from her daily driver status to weekend warrior. That car is "The Max," a 2001 Ford Escort ZX2. "The Max" is green in the standard sense of the word. Forest green. But she has nearly twice the fuel efficiency of "Mistress X." While not a true "green" car, "The Max" makes much more ecological and even economical sense in these times of unstable fuel sources and rising prices than does "Mistress X." Still, Walter eagerly awaits the day when the alternative fuel cars can give the performance characteristics of cars such as "Mistress X" in an affordable, reliable way. Take heed SUV drivers!