Chapter 14:  Godliness

Martin hasn’t spoken a word in some time now.  He’s been distant.  Not even Amber has been able to get his mood to improve as he sits watching the chosen safe house where Ticia and the others have been in for so long now.

Ice is off to herself thinking.  She loves Martin, but she hasn’t been able to tell him that his one time best friend was a one time friend of hers, and her brother, thought long lost, has now from all indications, come here.  Not to mention Jay might be here too.  Jay.  Just his name brings warm feelings to her heart, but at the same time guilt because Martin is her life now, Jay might not even still be there.

Martin has been lost in his own mind, hearing Zoot’s voice in his head.  “Power and Chaos!  Power and Chaos!”  the voice screamed.  Martin whispered to it “No!  I am my own man now.  I don’t have to listen to you now!”, but the voice kept coming.  “You’re weak Martin…stupid and weak!”  out loud Martin says “I am not!”  Ebony hears and walks over to him  “Martin?  Can I help?”  he looks up to her, with pain in his contact covered eyes and Zoot’s voice in his head says “Our queen!  Go to her you fool!”  “I will not!  I will not corrupt her again!”  Martin says out loud, looking from side to side wildly  “Martin?”  Ebony says again.  “LEAVE ME!”  Martin screams, nearly in pain, then says “Ebony wait.  Its his voice…HE wants you back…you have to leave me be.”

Ebony walks away from him, looking for Amber…she needs her.  Finding her talking to Lex, Ebony asks her to talk privately.  “We can’t.  Its time to put your plan into action Ebony.”  Ebony starts to protest, but knows it has to be done.  “Alright, we’ll talk later.”

Ebony and Amber raise the troops, and gather them around.  “We all go in.”  Ebony says, then looking at Martin, she says “You know the signal.  You stay behind until you hear that.  I’d rather not use you until I have to.”  He nods at her, but the Zoot voice rants at him.  “Weak fool!  Letting your queen dictate rules to you.”  “Shut up!”  Martin mutters to himself quietly.  Beside him, Ice takes his hand in her own and kisses it.  “Don’t listen to him my love.  You are stronger than he is.”  Ebony breaks up their talk with a loud voice of command “Everyone MOVE!”

Martin watches as they all walk away from him towards the house and he listens.  The voice of Zoot in his head telling him how pathetic he is, and how nobody really loves him.  “Remember Annie you fool…she said she was your friend…you lost her…because you were weak you lost her.  She hates you just like they all do, because you’re nothing!  I am everything…poor baby Martin…how lost you would be without Zoot.

At the door, nearly 40 guards rush out to meet the large group moving towards the house.  One of them says “The master has been expecting you for some time.”  They grab us and take us inside.  Curiously, Ellie is at the front of the group, even ahead of Ebony and Amber.  “You are to be taken to the master now.”

They’re taken to a room that is dark, nearly full black, and the door is closed behind them for several minutes until a bright spot light comes on, illuminating a figure in the center of the room on a high throne.  “I have been expecting you for some time now.  You’ve watched us nearly half the day.”  Ellie’s voice is heard in the dark.  “Luke?  Is that you?”  “Yes Ellie, its me.”  Then the lights in the room come up full, and Everyone sees him there on the throne.  “Where is the guardian?  We’ve come to talk to him.”  Ebony says, taking charge as always.  Luke stands walks down to the level of the others, and throws back the hood on his long robes.  “I am guardian now.  Jaffa is dead.”  Looks of shock flow throughout the rebel group, but Amber speaks, asking the necessary questions.  “When did he die?”  “During the second Exodus” Luke says.  “How?”  Amber asks. “He received an injury from one of the rebels on the way out, but that’s no longer important.  Why have you found Zoot’s Chosen?  Why have you come before me?”

Nearly an hour and no signal from them.  “Something’s wrong.”  Martin says out loud.  He surveys the scene and after more minutes, he decides on a course of action.  “If I am their god, they’ll let me right in.”  so says and starts walking right to the front door.  No guards come out this time, so he just opens the front door and walks in.  Seeing person after person fall to their knees in prayer at his presence.  “LEAVE NOW!”  Martin screams in a booming voice.  One of the younger members of the chosen rises up and asks “Why has Zoot returned to us?”  Voice still strong, he says “This place dishonors my memory!  I come here to pass punishment on all here!  Those who wish to escape punishment will leave…NOW!”  he says this all through the building and most run away.  Sometimes he has to strike people who think it a trick.  After several minutes, he grabs a novice of the order and orders him to “Show me to your guardian!”

The novice member shows him to a door and Martin looks down at her.  “Now, leave this place child and tell all that I was no god!  That I was a scared boy just like the rest of you and I was consumed by that fear.”  The girl runs off, leaving Martin to listen at the door.  “We have our own concerns…we can’t be fighting wars between tribes.” Says a voice.  “Can’t fight wars with Tribes as strong as you, you mean.”  Ebony shoots back.  “The Chosen are not what they used to be.  I’m trying to spread Zoot’s word without the violence.  I do not believe that Zoot was a vengeful god, therefore I will not send my chosen into a battle under the guise of his name.  Martin takes this time to burst through the door.

“Guardian!”  he screams, causing a start from several people inside.  “You have defiled my memory you fool!”  he screams.  Luke stands there in a mix of shock and confusion at seeing this vision of Zoot there.  “Submit yourself for Judgment now Jaffa.”  He says.  Amber breaks in saying “This isn’t Jaffa, Jaffa is dead…this is Luke…he was a victim of Jaffa just like the rest.”  Martin walks through the crowd with authority and he moves right up to Luke.  “You will help us, or you will die.”  Luke falls to the floor in submission and says “Yes master.”

A planning committee is made to coordinate Chosen and rebel efforts, and Ebony follows Martin outside.  He throws off his jacket and hat and says “Never again.”  As he slips back on his farmer’s clothing, Ebony places the hood of Phoenix back on her head and, hugging Martin, says with tears in her eyes, “I know.”

Chapter 15--The Road Home

The first night falls on the way back to the Gaian tribe with my family and I, and Jay, Ram, Java, Siva and Bray also walking with us.  We can’t get far because of Ram and his chair, so the going is slow.

 We stop for the night after only going a few miles and we set up camp.  I’m looking around setting up a perimeter in my mind and Ram wheels up to me.  “What are you looking for?”  he asks.  “I’m looking for weaknesses in the area…where an attack could come from.”  Ram chuckles and says “I have my guards.  We’re safe here.”  I laugh and say “Oh really?”  then I run off, leaving Trudy to stare at me in wonder.

 Half an hour later, I come back and I deposit three of Ram’s guards in front of him.  He laughs out a full laugh and says “Three?  Ha….only…”  I stop him and I say “The other six are unconscious.  I’m only strong enough to drag three.”  Ram laughs and says “There were 11 out there.”  I look at him with disappointment.  “There were nine.  You sent Java and Siva after I left and called them back before I came back my friend.”  I notice Java and Siva watching nervously as Ram sets there just staring at me.  There is a long silence then Ram laughs out loud.  “Jaymes!  How did you take out nine of my best guards?”  I have my arm around Trudy and I say “Paul, we worked out those guard maneuvers and you never changed them after I left.”  “Ahhh.”  Ram says, “And what should we do about this?  Hmm?”  he muses.  “Well Ram” I say as I wrap my arms around Trudy’s neck “I should spend the night with my wife and son and daughter…and you should think about leaving and retraining your people.”  “We aren’t leaving Jaymes.  This place is perfect for us.”  I look at him, my arms still around Trudy and I say “You know I have to fight you don’t you?”  “You don’t have to.”  He retorts  “You’ve killed my first born child and you’re threatening my home.  I don’t care about any friendships Ram.  I have to protect my home, family and friends.”  Nothing more is said between us that night.

 When we get into our tent that the Technos give us, I don’t talk for a bit, just watch my love, my Trudy as she dotes affection onto Ghany and Fire.  I also see, just behind her eyes, the sadness that she can no longer give that same affection to Lianla.  “I’m sorry Trudy.”  I say as she looks over our remaining babies.  “Sorry for what, my love?”  “I never should have let them keep you in that cage Trudy…I should have made them let you stay with me.”  Trudy moves to take my hands in hers, rubbing the area of my missing finger.  “No honey, you did what you had to.  Half the time I was in there, I wanted to cut the rest of these off…I’d have ran away if I’d got the chance.”  I cuddle my wife close to me and I say to her “I still should have kept you with me…”  Then, starting to openly cry I add “Then Li would still be here!”  I break down and fall flat onto the sleeping mat on the floor of the tent, my hands over my face and I start to sob uncontrollably.  I feel Trudy reach into my pocket, then move my hands and wipe my face with a rag.  “Oh Jaymes” she says “Ssh, I’m here darling…its okay.”  Still crying, I say “Its all my fault they did this…I helped start this tribe.  When they shot me baby, I started to remember the years before you found me on the beach.”  “Do you want to talk about it honey?”

 Just as I’m about to tell the story of my time between the virus and when they found me on the beach, Bray comes into the tent.  They’re large, so he’s staying with us.  So I wait for him to get settled, then I tell my story, stopping only one time to rock my son back to sleep when he wakes.  “He’ll be talking soon.” I say before finishing.

 They take this all in but don’t comment.  “I’m glad your back Bray.”  Trudy says, but he doesn’t answer her.  There’s something very strange about the way he’s acting, so I ask him about it.  He tells me who it was that was in charge of breaking Trudy to be a member of the Technos.  “Jaymes, I was so out of it that I told Ram he should threaten Ghany and Fire.”  This makes me snap to attention and send a hard glare in his direction.  Trudy hurries to calm me down “Jaymes, no!  They didn’t make threats…Ram even called him down for saying it.”

 I do calm down a bit, and as we start to talk some more, I hear Ram’s chair near the tent and I quiet Trudy and Bray so I can listen.  “Ved, I want everyone who’s led a raid since we’ve been here brought to me when we get back.”  Ved answer him “Sure.  What’s up?”  “There’s a hotel in the city…a raid went bad.”  “Cool, there was another raid on the hotel?”  “What does that mean Ved?”  Ram inquires.  “I led a raid to gather virts when we first got to the city.  Had to kill one, she was threatening.”  I hear Trudy sigh, then hear Ved continue “Had to shoot twice.  Stupid virt had a kid and she jumped as I shot…fried the kid.”  I sit straight up from the bed mat and Trudy does the same, grabbing a hold on me.  “Bray, help me.”  She says, low, but forcefully.  “Trudy!  Let me go!”  I say  “No Jaymes, remember what happened the last time you fought Ved!”  I try to force her off me as I say “You were there then too and didn’t do anything to help me…and I’m dying for it!”  Trudy lets go of me and starts to cry, and Bray sits back and stay’s silent.  Trudy says “Jaymes, just sleep tonight and handle it tomorrow…please.”  “Whatever.”  Is the only thing I say, then Bray drops a bomb on us.

 “I’m not going back to the mall.”  Bray tells Trudy and I.  “WHAT?”  Trudy says, completely in awe.  “I left to find something.”  Bray says “I haven’t found it yet.”  “What are you looking for Bray?”  Trudy asks as I sit, quietly stewing over what I heard Ved say.  My attention is returned to them when Bray says “When Jaymes left to find Moz I was jealous and it started me thinking, so many people, not just the chosen, have reported seeing Zoot that he has to still be alive.”  He laughs and says “A few days before I was captured someone said they’d seen him farming…my brother…FARMING!  HAHAHA.”  Trudy and I share a gaze, and I indicate she should do it.  “Bray.”  She says, calmly and full of loving concern. “We found Martin a few days after we buried Li-Li.  He’s alive and he’s not Zoot anymore.”  Bray is too amazed for words, but says he guesses that he’s coming with us.”  We decide to sleep then, Bray says goodnight and then I wrap my arms around Trudy, holding her close and say “I love you Trudy.”  “I love you too Jaymes.”  We share a deep kiss before sleeping.

 Day dawns and one of Ram’s people comes to the tent and says “Ram sent us to wake you sir.”  I open the tent door and ask “Why are you calling me sir?”  “Ram’s orders General.”  Trudy wakes beside me and says “General?  I was a member of the Technos longer and I don’t even have security access.”  I get up and say “I’m gonna have a talk with Ram about this.”  Trudy tries to stop me “Honey, it’s cold, you need…” but I’m already gone.

 “RAM!” I say finding him and walking up to him in lightly falling snow.  He looks at me and he laughs.  “Forget something Jaymes?”  I look confused, but I notice Java and Siva looking at me with funny looks, so I look at myself and notice I’ve walked out in my underwear.  I’m more than a little embarrassed by this, but I refuse to let it show.  “Why are you’re people calling me General?”  Ram answers “General?  They’re supposed to be calling you Commandant…something special for you.”  “Never mind.” I say, “Where’s Ved?”  Jay hears this and says “Out on Recon, why?”  I tell him myself and his little brother have business.  “What’s going on?”  Jay asks.  “Ved led the raid.”  I tell him, not losing my temper because he’s my friend.  Jay says “Led the..?”  then he remembers, and clicks his communicator.  “Ved, get back here RIGHT NOW!”  Ram listens on his communicator, then says “Your general gave you an order!  Come back, now!”  I say to Ram “I want one of those.”  He looks around and seeing someone carrying some boxes and says “You!  Give him your communicator.”  Pointing at me as he says it, then adds “and your laser.”  I take the items and finally the cold gets to me.  “Excuse me, I need to get ready for Ved to come back.”

 Trudy meets me halfway with a kiss, my clothes, and then a laugh.  “What?”  I ask, shivering just a bit.  “Sometimes, my husband, you allow your anger to get the best of you.”  “He killed our daughter!  Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”  I ask as I slip my pants on.  Trudy hugs me and whispers in my ear “I love Lianla, I love you…I don’t want to lose anymore of my family before I have to.”  After I finish putting on my clothes and attach the laser to my arm and put the communicator on, I hug Trudy and say “Not before you have to my love.”

 I go and set on a rock off by myself, but Ram follows me soon after.  “Are you going to kill him?”  he asks.  “Will you let me kill one of your people Paul?”  I ask, and he tells me “I won’t stop you, BUT, I still hate you for what you did.  If he kills you I won’t stop that either.”  I stare at the animal tooth necklace that Brady gave me as a birthday present once and I say “What was it?”  “Excuse me.”  Ram says.  “Your child…boy or girl?” I ask.  “I don’t want to talk about it.”  He says.  “Would you kill for that child?”  I inquire.  Without hesitation, he says “In a heartbeat.”, then “and for his mother.”  I look at him and say “So, I didn’t destroy you completely.”  Ram tells me the baby was conceived before our fight, that he can’t have anymore.  “You never said anything about a girl.” I say, to which he responds “We decided to be discreet.  We were scared of her brother.”  I laugh at this.  “Yeah, I figure I would have killed you at the time if it’d been Moz.”  He answers “Yeah, I guess.”

 Several hours later, Ved still hasn’t returned.  “Jay, where is he?”  I ask.  “He found some virts…he took them back to Internment.”  Angry, I ask “When he is coming back?”  “He’s not.”  Is the reply.  I take a few breaths to calm myself and I as “What’s that you have there?”  “R.A.T.”  I laugh and say “Looks like a computer to me.”  Jay returns the laugh and says “Its something new.  R.A.T., Remote Access Terminal.”  He tells me they can hook up to the mainframe via a medium range wireless network.  “Wow!”  I say, amazed.  “Wanna try?” Jay asks.  I take the computer as Trudy comes to sit beside me and I say “No way!  The interface software is the same.”  Jay laughs, then I say “I wanna try something.”  I sign out of Jay’s account and look.  “hmm…Legacy.” I say.  “Bet you don’t remember your password.”  Jay laughs.  I look at my wife, then to Jay.  “Figures.”  Trudy says.  I type in TRUDY in the password area, and to my surprise the command menu comes up.  “Wow!”  I say “He didn’t delete it.”

 I look through the things on the system.  “What’s this?”  I ask, indicating a program that I haven’t seen before.  “CAD.  You input your designs and they get sent to Manufacturing, then shipped to us.”  “Cool.  Can I play around with it?”  Jay tells me it’s alright, so I play around and 3 hours later I have designed something special.  The designs, possible modifications and my priority code, which was also not deleted have been sent to the manufacturing center.  I delete the designs for it from the computer so they can’t be found.  “What’d you make?”  Jay asks.  “Something for a friend.”  I say.

 Finally Ram give the order for us the group to leave out, so another day of walking begins and I hold my daughter close to me to keep her warm.  “Almost home Fire.”  I say.

Chapter 16:  Memories

 In the midst of all the battle plans she had nearly been forgotten until she had walked crying into the middle of a group consisting of Ebony, Lex, Tai-San, Amber, Martin, Jack, Ryan and Gattaca and said “I miss mommy and daddy.”  All hearts who heard the sadness in that little voice were broken by it.

 Now, nearly a half hour later, Brady still cries, playing with a strand of silver hair she asks Gattaca “Aunt Gatty, when is daddy coming home?”  Gattaca holds her tight and says “I don’t know.  You know how your daddy is…sometimes he stays away a long time.”  All the while of saying this, Gattaca fears herself for when Jaymes will come home.  “Would you like to hear a story Brady?”  she asks the child.  “Yes Aunt Gattaca.”

 Gattaca starts her stories as most stories start.  “Once upon a time there was a princess and a brave knight.”  She pauses for a moment to see Brady listening intently, then begins again.  “But this princess was not a very smart girl like you, and she at first thought the knight was a common man, though this princess was best friends with the knights older sister.”

 As she tells the story, Gattaca begins to remember the real events of the ‘princess and her ‘knight’.  Events that seemed so horrible at the time, but now could be seen as no more than the innocence of youth.

 “I don’t know Moz, I want a man who can think for himself…somebody that can survive on his own, that wants me because of me, not as a cook and a dishwasher.”  Moz laughs and says “You just described my brother.”  Gattaca laughed out of control.  “Jaymes?”  she said.  “Yeah right…I definitely want a guy that doesn’t come home till after I’m asleep and can’t even shower at home.”  In the door, Jaymes, clean shaven and wearing a fancy dress shirt clears his throat and says “Moz, I’m going to the mall…got a date.”  Gattaca doesn’t say anything, seeing the poorly hidden hurt on Jaymes’ face., but Moz says “Is this a real date, or are you following Martin and that girl around pretending its you instead of him?”  “Screw you Moz!”  he said.  “Ooh, can’t do that baby brother, people would talk.” Moz shot back.  “Yeah, they would.” Jaymes said, “They’d say you finally did the last guy in school that hadn’t got a turn with you.”  Gattaca looked on worried, but finally Moz laughed out loud.  “Get out of here!”  Then, “Hang on.  Who’s the date with?”  Jaymes says “Blind date…some girl named Amber.  I’m supposed to look for a blonde chick with weird hair.”  Gattaca smiles at the memory.  She knew the mutual friends who set them up.  Jaymes and his good friend Eagle had nearly dated.  If Amber hadn’t got caught smoking and been grounded by her mom and dad.

 “Aunt Gatty, what’s wrong?”  Brady asks.  “Nothing sweetie, just trying to remember the next part of the story.” Then she says “Lets see…The princess lived happy for a while, never realizing how good the knight treated her, then one day a plague fell upon the kingdom and the princesses mom and dad got sick.  This hurt the princess terribly and she began to drink a magic potion to ease her pain.”  Gattaca stop to answer Brady’s questions about potions, then she continues the story.

 “One night, the princess had drank a lot of the potion and she felt sick.  She went to find the knights sister, but she wasn’t there.  Only the knight could be found.”  Gattaca stops to wipe a tear from her eye, then says “That night, the princess fell in love with the knight and soon, there was to be a new child in the kingdom, but the princess could not stop taking the magic drink, which always made her very tired, and one day she…she made a horrible mistake and she hurt her baby and it never came.”  Brady says “That’s a sad story aunt Gatty…what did the knight say?”  Gattaca remembers how Jaymes had hurt so badly and she tells Brady “The knight was sad…so sad that he could barely stand it.  The wizards of the kingdom told the princess and knight that they were to have been given a baby girl.  The knight loves baby girl like you.”  Gattaca says as she playfully pinches Brady’s nose.  “The knight was so sad that he couldn’t even bring himself to give the little girl a name, so the princess had to do it.”  Brady asks “What was her name?”  Gattaca tells Brady “Her name was Ahava.”  “That’s a pretty name.”  Brady says.  “Yes it is a pretty name.” Gattaca replies.  Brady then asks “Did they live happily ever after?”  Gattaca thinks a moment about where they’d be now if Ahava were alive and says “I don’t know honey…their story is still going on.”

Chapter 17: Downhill

 “Trudy, can you take Fire for a while?” I ask, out of breath.  “Jaymes, I already have Ghany.  He’s not exactly light you know.”  Still fighting for air, I say “Honey, please…just for a minute.” As I lose my footing a little.  Trudy rushes to take Fire from my arms and then we let the group go ahead of us.  “Jaymes?”  she asks.  “I’m fine…just a little tired baby.”  “Are you sure?”  I nod, hoping she can’t see I’m lying.

 Bray walks up to us.  “Noticed you’d fallen behind.  Is everything okay?”  Before I can come up with a lie, Trudy says “Fine, just taking a break.”  I think she knows I was lying when she says “Bray, want to hold Ghany for a while?”  Bray takes my son up, cradling him carefully and says “Sure, I’d love to spend some time with this big guy.”  He’ll be a good father one day.  Just what Ghany would need.  Then, holding Fire in her left arm, Trudy wraps her right arm around me and says “Ready to go Darling?”  I only nod my head.

 Trudy is happy talking to Fire, showing her things and being a mom, and she soon walks a little ahead.  Bray, however, is always the leader.  “What’s wrong?”  he asks, low so Trudy won’t hear.  “I’m dying Bray, you know that?”  I tell him.  “So,” he says “You’re starting to feel it?”  Holding my side, I say “Yes, I feel old.”  He looks at me and says “You kind of look like Lex did when…”  I ask “When what Bray?”  “Nothing…that can’t be right.”  A coughing fit stops me from pressing the matter further.

 An unexpected Techno van speeds by us heading for the front of the line.  “Bray, are we close to home?”  I ask.  He replies “Maybe another day.  We’re close to Gaian territory.  Why?”  stumbling, then holding my stomach I say “It hurts Bray…it hurts.”  I straighten as best I can when I notice Siva walking towards us.

 “Ram wants you.”  Siva says to me.  Bray steps in between us and says “Later.”  “Ram wants him NOW.”  Siva says firmly, so I say “I’ll go Bray.”  “I’ll go too.”  He offers.  “Just Jaymes.”  Siva says “Ram’s orders.”

 As we walk, I have to force my pace.  “Siva, are you sure there’s no cure for that thing Ved hit me with?”  she shakes her head.  “I don’t think so, but Ram doesn’t tell us everything.”  I ask about Ram’s mood and she says “I think he’s as near to crying as I’ve ever seen him”  “Why?”  I inquire.  “That van was delivering a special package to him.”  “Oh, really?”  I say.

 When we arrive, Ram is in his chair, wheeling slowly.  I clear my throat as I walk up behind him.  “You asked to see me?”  Ram, with a mix of emotions on his face, turns the chair to face me and says “Yes”  he opens the front of his chair and I see him wearing the device I designed.  A device that somehow just came to me.  I think I had it in mind before I lost my memories of the past.  Ram puts his arms on the sides of his chair and then he stands up, and then amazingly, he walks.  He moves himself over to me and he reaches his hand out to me and grabs mine.  “You used your old codes to get this processed…Thank you.”  I cough openly and say “I owed it to you.”  he then draws his arm back and punches me, knocking me to the ground  “Sorry, but I’ve wanted to give you that for a long time.”  Still coughing I reply “Fair enough.”  “Now,”  he says “Everyone leave us!”  then, when we’re alone he says “You’re getting worse.”  “No I’m not…the cold’s just getting to me.”  “Stop lying.”  He says, “This is Paul you’re talking to.  I know everything.”  I sigh.  “So what, I’m still dying.  No reason pretending I’m not.”  Ram reaches into his pocket and pulls out a vial of liquid with a needle on the end.  “You jab it in your arm, and press on the other end.” He says.  I very skeptically ask what it is.  “Antibiotic test vial.”  “Which series?”  I ask.  “Phase 3, beta, mix 13/K.” he says.  “You’ve gone through that many?”  he nods and tells me that this series is promising though, it’s cured almost a dozen stage one cases.  I start to jab the needle in my arm.  “NO!”  Ram says.  “What?”  I ask him.  he throws me a little box with electrodes on it.  “Have Jay help you put this on.”  “What is it Ram?”  I ask.  “Vital sign reader.  Wear it six hours, we monitor you at HQ and can help if something goes wrong.”

 After I slip the needle in my pocket and let Jay hook the vital reader to me, I lean against a tree waiting for Trudy and Bray to reach me.  “There my girls are.”  I say as I see Trudy and our daughter come into view.  “What did Ram want?”  Trudy asks, straight to the point.  “He just wanted to show off a new toy.”  I say, then explaining the device I made for him to my wife.  “Shame we didn’t have you around when the virus was going on.  The adults might still be here.”  “We’re doing fine without them.”  I say to Trudy.  “Still.”  She says.  “I’d like for Ghany and the girls…”  I lay my head on her shoulder and say “Your dad would love them.  He’d spoil them.”  I notice movement out the corner of my eye and I say “We’re in Gaian territory.”  “How do you know honey?”  Trudy asks.  “Raven and Pride are watching us.”  I tell her.  She looks around and says “I don’t see them.  “Good, that means…”  I start, but it’s cut off by a shot of pain which knocks me to the ground.  Through the pain, the last things I hear are Trudy screaming for help, and my own voice, low, in pain and crying “Take me home Trudy…I want to go home…please take me home.”

Chapter 18:  Transition

 I awake with a gasp in the dark of night, my body aches.  I look around and see that Trudy is gone.  “Anyone?”  I say, attempting to shout, but having little more than a whisper escape my lips.  Through trial and error I find the highest volume my voice will make, a low talk.

 I’m hungry, so I go to get up, collapsing on the floor.  My body is weak.  This thing must be worse.  I have to crawl, and as I crawl, the first person to speak to me is an unexpected one.

 “Daddy wake.”  I hear.  I look to find the noise came from my son’s basket.  “Ghany?”  I say.  “Daddy wake, daddy wake.”  He says again and giggles.  I crawl to his basket, and weakly reach up to open the side of it.  I reach up and grasp him, ever so careful not to let him fall.  “My son.  When did you find your voice?”  “Daddy, daddy, daddy.”  He says in reply.  I scoot myself along the floor  to the metal handrail at the stairs just outside mine and Trudy’s room.  I listen to the quiet, and even through my own pain, I am happy at hearing my little boy speak.  “I love you son.”  I say quietly, holding him to me.  “Love daddy.”  He says.  “What son?”  I say, wanting to hear it again.  “Love daddy, daddy, daddy.”  He says, chanting the words loudly.  “Thank you son.”  I say.

 Movement catches my ears and I look towards it.  “Who’s there?”  The voice says.  And it takes me a moment to realize its Jay’s voice.  “Who’s there?”  he says again, this time I hear the hum of his zapper charging.  “Jay, its me.”  I say.  “Jaymes?  How long have you been awake?”  “Long enough to have a conversation with someone special.”  I tell Jay, kissing my son’s forehead weakly.  “Ah, Ghany said hello did he?”  I nod to Jay.  “He’s been talking for a while.  Daddy was one of the first words he learned.  Brady taught it to him.”  “He’s been talking a while huh?”  I ask.  “Yes, since the day you fell into the coma.  As you were passing out and Trudy was yelling for us, he spoke.”  Jay tells me.  “I missed it.  What did he say?”  I ask.  “His first word became sort of a chant.  He started saying ‘Li Li Li Li Li’  over and over.”  I half heartedly smile.  “You wanted your sister, didn’t you little man?”  Jay smiles in the darkness.

 “Where is Trudy?”  I ask, and Jay tells me that she’s gone to the Gaian tribe.  “Why?”  I say, my voice quivering with the pain in my body.  “She went with Amber.  They are accompanying Phoenix on a spirit quest or something, and bringing back someone who wanted to see you.  They were supposed to be back two days ago, but they haven’t made it.  I hope they weren’t caught.”  “Are any of the men with them?  Bray?  Lex even?”  “Bray went, Lex is here looking over Tai-San and their new son.”  “Tai-San had her baby.  A boy huh?”  “Yes, they named him Antonio.” Jay replies.  “Why didn’t Trudy take Ghany with her?” I ask.  “Salene and Gattaca are watching him since the Technos are running around causing hell.”  “So, she left Ghany, but took Brady and Fire?”  I ask.  “No, no.”  he says.  “Salene is watching Ghany and Ice and I are watching after Fire.  She’s been sick.  The father in me is upset at this.  “I have to see her.”  I start to stand, but can’t.  Jay takes Ghany and then offers me his hand.  “Let me help.”  I stand with his help and then steady myself against him and he eases me towards a room at the back.

 When we finally get there, Ice and Fire are both asleep.  Jay puts Ghany in Fire’s basket and picks Fire up after setting me on the floor and hands her to me.  I thank him.

 “Now then daughter mine.”  I whisper to her.  “What’s wrong with you?”  Jay tells me its just a little thing that babies get.  Tai-San is giving her herbs to cure her.  Ice is stirred by the noise.  “Jay?”  she says.  “Yeah baby, just brought a visitor.”  “At this hour?” she asks, to which I say “Well, I haven’t seen my daughter for a while.  Do you mind?”  “Jaymes?!?  When did you wake up?”  I tell her not long ago.  “Why are you watching my daughter Ice?  I thought you hated being a babysitter.”  She points at Jay and says “You better ask my boyfriend…I don’t know why we’re watching him.”  this sentence catches my attention.  “Boyfriend?  When did this happen?  What else have I missed?”

 Jay and Ice tell me about me falling into a coma and having been in it for nearly 8 and a half months.  Apparently when I fell, the Gaian/Mallrat war tribe came out to get one of their own and Ice found out Ram was alive, and she went back with the Technos.  She and Jay started their love affair back up, causing Ram to kick Jay out of the group.  When he left, Ice went with him and they came to the Mallrats for food and a place to stay.  Over the months, Ram has started his plan to take the city with a new general named Mega.  They control a good part of the city now.

 Amber and Bray have started to see one another, and Jack and Ellie finally got married.  I laugh at Jack and Ellie married.  I get a strange feeling when Ice tells me Martin and Trudy are relying on each other these days.  Its not that she says it…it’s the sadness in her voice.

I find out that Ram, though he’s trying to take over the city, shows up now and again with supplies for my medical needs.  I further find out that he and Gattaca have a fling going.  At first she felt sorry for him, helping him learn to walk again and do things for himself, and also getting him over his fear of germs, but now she is in love with him, and he with her.  They’re quite the active couple from what Jay says.  I don’t ask how he knows.

Ebony?  Well, she’s not found anyone.  I say she needs someone.  She’s all alone.  Apparently she’s alone by choice, afraid that her bad luck with men will be a negative affect on Duncan and Precious.

When I ask about Ticia, they tell me that she broke her brother out of the Technos and they went off together to catch up on lost time.  I smile.  I’m happy for her.

I hand Fire off to Jay and I try to stand.  Doing so somewhat easier.  “Do you need help?”  He asks.  “No Jay, I’ll be fine.”  He nods and says he’ll go back to guard duty.  I tell him I’ll be on the roof if he needs me.

I walk, with very sore muscles, to a storage room looking for things.  I find some paper and pens, and while I’m looking, I find some things I can’t believe are there.  I take them with me.

I go to the roof, and I find the chair I put there.  I just sit and I stare at the stars for a long time, while using one of the things that I found in the storage room.  The stars are beautiful.  I hum the song that Trudy and I first danced to.  I’m startled out of my skin from when behind me, Trudy yells “Jaymes!  You’re SMOKING!” holding Brady and indicating the cigarette in my hand.  “Its nice to see you too Trudy.”  I say, with a smirk on my face, because it’s been so long since I’ve been awake.  “I can’t believe you’re smoking!”  she says, with a disgusted look on her face.  “You know I used to, and I seem to remember a little girl in school who found me out back of the building and practically begged me for a smoke one afternoon after class.”  “I was having a bad day.” She says, then adds “And I was smart enough to know when to quit.”  Then grabs the lit one, and the rest and throws them away.  “Now.”  She says, “Your daughter is anxious to see you.”  I smile at this, as I hold my arms out to receive my sweetheart in them.

“How are you Brady?”  I ask.  “I missed you daddy.”  Is her answer.  “I hear you’ve been teaching your brother to talk.”  I say.  “Yeah, I wanted him to know who you were.”  “Thank you my little lamb.”  Then I ask her “Honey, can you go with Amber?”  she says “No daddy, I want to be with you before you die.”  This makes me sad to hear.  “Honey, who told you I was going to die?”  “Nobody did daddy.  But the grownups all talk about it.  I hear them at night when I sneak out cause I’m not tired.”  This causes me to hug Brady closer and think about how she’s not really my daughter, but no child could love a real father more.  “I’m sorry daughter.  You shouldn’t have to worry about things like that for a long time.”  Then, being a father, I say “AND, you shouldn’t sneak out on mommy at night.”  She looks at me with a little grin that means she thinks she’s hiding something.  “You shouldn’t sneak out on daddy either…he needs his sleep and won’t always be there to catch you when you fall.”  Her mouth and eyes go wide.  I smile at her and say “They were good cookies though, weren’t they?”  “Yes daddy.”  I never told Trudy about it, but Brady woke me up getting out of her bed and I followed her one night.  She had wanted some cookies that had been fixed, but she’d acted up and had her dessert taken away by Trudy.  But when she snuck out and tried so hard to get them, I couldn’t help but give her some, especially after she had nearly fallen, scaring me.  Ahava was my first baby, but Brady will always be my first child.

“Honey, please go inside with Amber.  Mommy and I need to have grownup talk.  Okay?”  “Do I have to?”  she asks.  “No, but I wish you would.  Just for a little while.  Maybe if you’re good and ask her real nice, Amber will teach you a game.”  “Okay daddy.”  Then to Amber, “Come on Eagle, let’s play.”  They leave.

“I’m glad you’re awake Jaymes.”  Trudy says, exhaustion in her voice.  “So am I dear, but I’m afraid it might not be for long.  I’ve been nearly passing out the whole time I’ve been up.  I’ve tried to fight it.”  I say.  Trudy leans over, and kisses me again and again.  “I missed you so much husband.”  She says.  “I wish I could say the same.  But for me, hardly any time seems to have passed honey.”  Silence between us until she asks why I’m up here all alone.  “Other than to kill yourself smoking.”  She says.  “I needed time to write.”  “You’re writing more?  You’ve been writing a lot.  I like your first chronicle of how we found you and how you and I came to be together Jaymes.”  I squeeze her hand and say “I’ve just thought the stories needed to be told for future generations.  I don’t have titles yet, but I’m thinking of calling the first one ‘Search for Home’, maybe.”  Trudy thinks a second then says “That story wasn’t really about looking for a home, it was more about…I don’t know, finding a family, I think.”  “Yes,” I tell her, then say “But this writing is more personal.  If I die, I want my words to reach the babies.  I intend to write letters to them all.”

As I say that, a muscle spasm jerks my arm and causes me to drop the paper and the pen.  Trudy shoots up to come over to me “Jaymes?  Jaymes is it happening again?”  after a second, I settle down and say “No, I’m alright.  Just a momentary thing.  I try to pick up the notebook from the ground and I find that I can’t close my hand.  Then I try the other one and it too is trapped open.  “Oh god Trudy…”   Then, after a few moments, my muscles unclench.

“Trudy, promise me something.”  I say.  “Anything you ask my darling.”  She says, still afraid over my spasm.  “When I die, promise me you’ll take the babies and go to Eagle.  Stay with the Gaians.”  “No Jaymes.  We’ve had this conversation before.  This is my home, its their home.” She responds.  “Trudy please!”  I snap  “We’re not dealing in hypothetical situations anymore.  We’re dealing with me, really dying, really not there to protect the babies anymore!  Promise me, swear it to me as my dying wish, that you’ll take the babies and go to Eagle and let her protect you.  Learn from her, let Ghany and Fire and Brady learn to be Gaian children.” I beg her, on my knees in front of her.  “Okay Jaymes…I…I promise I’ll do whatever I have to so that the children are safe.”

“I’m tired Trudy, I need to sleep.”  I say.  Getting up and then falling as my legs give out.  Without hesitation, my wife grabs my arms, lifting me and almost carries me to our room where I see our children one last time before drifting off to a deep sleep.

Chapter 19:  Darkness

Two figures, alone in darkness.  For two hours they have been discussing their plot, and they have been planning for the future.  “You’re sure its only temporary?”  says one voice, the evil of it matching the darkness in the room.  “Yes, the program is working almost flawlessly.  Though the subject is not taking the desired course, just as you anticipated would happen.”  The second figure, a hint of smugness and command in his voice said.  “It is imperative that no true harm come to the subject.  You are absolutely certain that you have the time frame set for six months?”  The first figure growled low, voice echoing slightly.  “I said roughly six months, I don’t know for certain.  All I know is that no true harm will come of it.  It will look like a slow decent, then later a miraculous surge.”  The second said, exasperated at having to repeat the same things over and over again.

The first one thought about the intricate plotting of the plan.  He and his queen have been plotting this revenge for a long time.  Nothing can go wrong.  Finally the man speaks and says.  “You and your people can pack up and leave Ram.  Your part is done.”

Ram, his voice full of anger says “You told me this city was mine!  If I did what you asked of me, then I would have this city!”  The other man says to him.  “I’ve altered our arrangement…pray I don’t alter it further.”  Then his arm shoots out to Ram’s neck, holding his other hand on the back of the apparatus that makes it possible for Ram to now walk.  “You still have your chair don’t you?”  Ram begs now for the man to leave him be…that his people will be gone soon.  Just as soon as a few things are finished up.

“Good, now get out of here, and be gone quickly!”  The first man says.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 Ram walks through the city…the city that should have been his and his blood is boiling.  He was forced to betray his friend by this evil human being…Ice was the bait in the trap.  She was threatened.  The man found out about Ram through Ice and came one day to contact him about working his magic.

 “But I will have revenge.”  Ram thinks as he walks.  He clicks on his communicator and says “Ved, I need you to bring my personal supply pack, and hurry.  Meet me outside the mall that those Mallrats call home.”  He stops then to rest and to look around at the city.  This perfect city that would have served all his needs wonderfully.  “You haven’t defeated me yet.”  He says.

 When Ved meets Ram and hands him the bag, Ram says “Good, now follow me.”  When Ved asks where they’re going, Ram tells him they’re going inside.  “Just to finish up a few things that need finishing.”  Ved’s smile turns evil at this.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Inside the mall, there is a lot of running around and sounds of hurry.  Ram stops Amber and says “What’s happening here?”  to which Amber, staring hard at Ved, says “Jaymes has collapsed again.  We think this may be the end.”

Ram stops her and says “No, he’ll be getting worse, but this isn’t the end…there hasn’t been enough time.”  Amber looks at him and says “If you’re really his friend, then help us save him.”  Ram nods and says “Take me to him.”

When they arrive, Trudy is by his side, holding his hand and crying.  Ram looks suspiciously at the people in the room.  Trudy, the one called Phoenix, and the other one, Tai-San…all connected with the evil Zoot in one way or another, and Ram looks and them all with a careful eye.  “Move.”  He says to them with no compassion.  “Let me help him.”

Ram takes a hypodermic needle from his bag, and secretly he places a pill in his hand.  He injects the contents of the needle into Jaymes and says “This should help.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“He’s waking up.”  Phoenix says.  Causing Ram to take notice and move up closer to him.  He places a hand on the zapper at Jaymes arm and sees it fully charged.  Jaymes asks what Ram is doing there and he tells Jaymes that he had to see him and try to help.  Then he says “I also came to give you a gift.”  Jaymes asks “What gift is that?”  Ram says “Vengeance for a dead child.”

Ved looks at Ram and starts to leave, but Ram points his arm laser at him.  “DO NOT MOVE!  That’s an order Ved.”, then Ram says “Jaymes?”

Jaymes moves to lift his arm, then he sighs and his body goes limp.  “What’s wrong?”  Ram asks. “He’s here, and he will not move.”  Jaymes answers “My body is too weak…I can’t lift my arm.”  Ram moves beside him and says “For you my friend…for your daughter.”  Then he lifts Jaymes arm to point it at Ved.  “You take the shot Jaymes.”  Then Jaymes looks into Ved’s eyes, and with all the power he can muster, whispers “For Lianla.”  And shoots Ved with a full power burst, killing him instantly.

Ram asks for a moment alone with Jaymes, which the Tribe gives him.  He then, moves close to Jaymes’ face and whispers.  “You aren’t dying…but you’ve been weakened so that an enemy disguised as a friend can take power without opposition.”  Jaymes looks at him, eyes seeming to look through him and says “why did you do this?”  Ram answers “To save my sister.”  Then Ram gives him the pill.  “Swallow this.  This will fake your death, but will allow you to have your revenge, because it counteracts the poison Ved shot you with.”

Jaymes swallows the pill and he says “So many people I can’t protect anymore.”  Ram takes his hand and says “I’ll help who I can.  Including Moz…the mother of my child.”  Jaymes smiles and says “My sister.  Your child….my neph…”  Then Jaymes body begins to convulse and Ram starts a plan he worked out along the way to the mall.  “Everyone!”  He screams.  “Come quickly.  I think he’s dying!”  When all are in the room, Ram identifies the dark queen because while the others all have looks of fear, or sadness…she, standing where nobody else can see it, smiles evilly.  Ram now knows who the enemy is.

Everyone is there as Ram makes the proclamation.  “Jaymes…is dead.”

Chapter 20:  Memorial

Four days have passed since Jaymes’ demise.  On the first day, nothing could be done, because none had honestly believed that he would pass on.  Had not Jaymes been a warrior?  A force for good and truth in this world destroyed and ruled by jealousies, wars and evil?  How can such a person be taken before his life is lived full?

The second and third days, his body had been washed and prepared, and presented, with Ram carefully overseeing the tasks involved with the help of Jay and Gattaca.

On this, the fourth day, in the early morning while going through his things, Phoenix had found letters addressed to certain members of the tribe that he loved dearly.  Trudy had said he intended to write letters to his children, but had been taken before he could prepare them.

As a memorial to his memory, the letters are now being read by those they were addressed to.

Moz stands, her usually collected and calm face a mix of conflicted emotions, and she begins to read the letter her brother wrote to her.

“To my sister…my last connection to my family before.”  She stops to collect herself, then reads on.  “First, and foremost let me say now that, no matter what you may think, I love you Moz.  I hardly ever showed you because I didn’t know how, but the love was always there in my heart of hearts.  Our father tried to destroy us, but he and the virus turned you into a survivor, and made me into a poet warrior, or that’s how I like to think of it.”  She says, reading her brother’s words, stopping to let the others murmur agreement at Jaymes’ description of himself.  She then continues with the last part of her letter.

“I suspect, my sister, that you and Paul share a child together, though I cannot confirm this.  I believe this is why you secretly miss our brother so much more than you think people realize.  I’m sorry you’ve had to suffer the loss of offspring, and sorry you didn’t think you could tell me about it.”  Then, sobbing as she reads the final line she says “Watch after your niece and nephew…make sure they’re not like papa.”  As she walks to her chair she says “He’s always been afraid of being like dad.”

Next to stand up and move to the front is Patsy.  She hasn’t cried at all, and when asked about it, she said “Jaymes was always sad when I cried.  I don’t want him to be sad.”  After a second, she begins to read her letter.

“Little Princess.”  She says, holding her hand to her mouth in a sobbing laugh.  “Little Princess, wherever I go at my death, I think I’ll miss you more than most.  I love you like a daughter.  I sit here and I think about my first months here, how I frightened you so much.  I don’t know if you and Cloe realized how much that hurt.  Now though, we get along good, you and I.  Don’t we sweetie?”  She stops for a minute, trying to hold back the tears forming in her eyes, then she letting some tears fall.  “Its okay to cry little one.  Sometimes our tears can express sadness that words cannot.”  Then she reads his last words.  “Grow up good.  You are our future little beauty.  Carry everyone like you carried me in the hardest of moments.  I miss you.”  She sits down then, beside Gattaca, and Cloe, then finally lets the flood of collected tears flow.

There is a few moments break while some of the tribe’s fussy babies are looked after.

After the break, Amber says she’ll go next, because she has two to read.  So she stands at the front, just as calm as ever, though her face betrays her pain at the loss of a trusted friend.

“To my tribemistress.” She reads, then says “He always called me that.  I tried to tell him it was silly, but he still did it.”  Then she starts again.  “To my Tribemistress.  Our respect has mostly gone unspoken, so I’ll say little here.”  She looks at the letter, then continues.  “When this world stole from me, you gave freely of whatever you had.  When the world kicked me, you tended the wound.  When it took my loved ones, you offered me a family.  When the old rules no longer worked, you gave me new ones to follow.”  Again she stops, unable to read for a second.

“Our fight Eagle.”  She reads.  “Drunkenness is no excuse.  If I could, I would go back and take it all away.  Nothing, human or beast, deserves to be beaten the way I did you…and all because I was drunk and lonely and you wouldn’t sleep with me.  I’m sorry Amber.  More sorry than mere words can ever say.”  Amber looks up at the group, all shocked at Jaymes’ revelation of his fight with her and she says “He’s making it sound worse than it really was.  He never forgave himself for the fight.”, then she adds “You guys know how he was.  He blamed himself for everything Ebony did to him.”  Ebony’s head hangs at hearing about that dark part of her life.

Amber says there’s more and reads the last part of the letter to her.  “Amber…my Eagle…watch after Tree, and tell her when she’s old enough.”  She pauses for effect and then says.  “Eagle…remember your promise.”

Amber sets her letter aside, and then lets her sadness take over for just a moment before going over to lead Brady in front of the group.  She sits Brady down on a chair and says “Lamb, your daddy wanted me to read this to you.  Is that okay?”  to which Brady, who’s been trying to act like Jaymes since he passed away says “Yes Tribemistress.”  Amber kisses Brady’s forehead, sad that, though she thinks its silly, She’ll never hear those words again from her Wolf.  Amber proceeds with Brady’s letter.

“Brady honey.  I love you so much.  I’m sorry I have to leave you.  I don’t want to.  I want to watch you and your brother and sister grow into wonderful and amazing adults.  There are so many things I wanted to teach you if mommy would have let me.  I wanted to catch you every time you fell, and I wanted to sneak cookies with you whenever mommy wouldn’t let us have them.”  Amber stops while Brady giggles., then she reads on.  “One day, my little Lamb, you will find out things about your daddy.  When you do, I just want you to know that I love you and I hope you aren’t disappointed in me.  Watch your bother and sister, and let Amber teach you everything she knows.  I love you.”

Amber holds a necklace and puts in on Brady’s neck, then reads “Wear this baby.  It’s my finger, that you found, and gave to me.  Wear it and I’ll never be far away when you need me…daughter.”

Amber takes Brady back to her chair and sits down herself, then Gattaca stands to read her letter.  She’s been hit so much harder than some of the others by Jaymes’ death.  She doesn’t make it to read her letter, because she breaks down as she sees the face of her knight in his casket.  She breaks down and cries and kisses his face with her forehead touching his and as she does, she notices something strange…his body is still warm.  She almost says something but thinks better of it.  She’ll talk to Ram first.

After the remaining letters are read, and the tribe sits telling stories and reliving favorite memories of Jaymes.  Soon though, its far into the night and time for bed, so after Ram says he and Gattaca will be back in the morning, everyone files off to their rooms.

As they walk back to Techno HQ, Gattaca says “Something strange happened at the memorial.” As she and Ram walk hand in hand through the city.

Ram stops to look deep into her eyes.  “What happened Love?” he asks, before kissing her deeply in the moonlight, causing her to smile.

As Ram smiles back, Gattaca says “When I broke down and had my head on Jaymes’ forehead…he was warm.”

Ram releases his hold on her, but still stares into her eyes with love.  “There’s something you need to know Tag.”  He says, watching her stare at him, a mix of love and confusion on her face.

“What is it?”  She asks.  “Tell me what’s troubling you.” she says as she kisses his hand and wraps her arms around his neck to stare into his eyes.

“Jaymes isn’t dead.”  Ram tells her.  He stops her from speaking then continues.  “I made a deal with someone to remove Jaymes from the city.  The deal was if I take care of him, I get the city”  He watches as his girlfriend backs a step away from him.

“However.” He says, “The evil one and his queen have changed the deal on me.  So now, I’m helping Jaymes to get his revenge for this betrayal.”

“How will you do that?”  Gattaca asks carefully.  Not sure about anything except that she trusts Ram.

“Tomorrow.”  Ram says.  “In Jaymes’ casket, I will be sending some covert gear from the Techno stockpile.  That way, when the time comes, I can help him get revenge.”  Ram then squeezes her hand and says “You have to go with him.”

Gattaca’s eyes go wide.  “Why?”  Then, protesting further she says “I want to stay with you.”  She hugs him tightly, not wanting to let him go.  “I love you Ram, don’t make me go…please.”

Ram holds her and kisses her passionately.  “I know you want to go.  I’m sorry I can’t take you with me.  I have to leave.  He is forcing me out.  You’re the only other person who knows about Jaymes.  You have to follow him…for Ahava.” He says.

Gattaca finally shakes her head in agreement and, as they continue to walk, Ram tells her the rest of the plan, and gives her a warning.  “Tell no one!”
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The next day brings Ram and Gattaca back to the mall, along with an honor guard of Technos.  Jay is standing with them, as is Ice, both at Ram’s personal request.  Java and Siva are talking to their sister, interrupting a conversation she was having with Martin about her children.  Java, Siva and Ebony have never gotten along well, but because of the situation and the mood, they are being civil.

The Mallrats, all too often attending the funeral of one of their own are once again dressed to send a friend on his final journey.

“What about when they close the casket?”  Gattaca whispers to Ram as she looks around and sees, for the fourth time today, the evil one talking with his queen.

Ram looks on the group as well, suspicious of everyone and says “When it closes, air tanks start pumping.  There’s two weeks worth of air for him to breathe.”

Gattaca, giving Ram a hug and faking grief, asks quietly “How?”  and then she listens as he explains the system to her and while he asks “Why did you think I supplied the casket?”

Ram hands Gattaca a bag.  “This is everything we talked about.  When the time is right, the technos will be with Jaymes…and you.”

Silently, they say their goodbyes.  This will be the last time they see or talk to each other in a long time. “Remember Gattaca…Jacurutu.”  She nods to him, silently sending her undying love to him, and afraid now to be without him in the world as she knows it will become.

After a long, deep kiss, Gattaca slips away unnoticed to wait downstream.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The Mallrats, Bray, Lex, Tai-San, everyone, say their goodbyes to Jaymes.  Brady says a long tearful goodbye to her daddy, begging him to come back and not leave her alone.  After she’s calmed down, Ram takes his time to “Pay respects.”  In reality, he’s checking everything.  Moving aside Jaymes’ weapons which Brady insisted be in there, because “Daddy never went anywhere without his stuff.”, to check the air tanks were working.  Seeing that they are, he moves aside as Martin asks for a few moments alone to say goodbye to his friend.

What none have noticed, is that Jaymes is waking up.  Martin sees it though and he snickers at Jaymes.  “Hahahaha!”  he laughs lowly at Jaymes, a crazed look in his eyes.  “How does it feel to be alone Jaymes?  Without anyone to help you Jaymes?”  The answer that Jaymes gives is a low moan.

Martin, almost gleefully says “We’ve been trying to remove you for years!  Finally our efforts have paid off.”

Jaymes, painfully and lowly asks.  “Wh…who?”  as his face betrays the effort to move, and the desire to help himself as he sees his friend has betrayed him.

Martin laughs again.  “Who?  Why my queen and I, of course.  You remember her don’t you?”  he asks, as her face, contorted with quiet rage and evil comes into view.

“So much suffering on his face.”  She says, calmly and controlled.  “I wish we still had cameras so I could have that face to look at before I went to bed at night.”

With pain and anguish on his face, Jaymes thinks of Ghany and Precious and Duncan and Fire and Lianla.  “How…how c…cou…could you?  H…how could you b…be…be…betray the chil…dren?”  he says to the evil face of the queen before she says only “Zoot lives!” and closes the casket.

Zoot and his queen watch, happily behind the others, as the floating casket, and the sound of a Gaian tribe member playing Amazing Grace on the bagpipes, heralds the end of Jaymes troubled, yet gloried, life.

Chapter 21:  Other Realms Than These

I wake in a strange place.  A place where not even you most vivid concept of ultimate beauty can come one stitch close to describing the wonder of the place I now sit.

As I look around, this place has no features, save a stand of rocks nearly 7 feet tall and covered with moss.  From the rocks, a brilliant silver liquid, like a mirror turned water, flows into a pool, and disappears to some unseen place.  It is here, staring at myself in the flow that one of the most unique experiences of my life finds me.

A noise from this wide empty expanse catches my attention as, even though the walls seem miles away, a door opens from nowhere directly in front of me, and a girl my age, dressed similarly to I, enters the room and stares at me, saying nothing.

For several minutes, it goes like this, this beautiful woman, sure of herself stares at me, but says nothing..  Finally I break the silence by saying “You have an excellent sense of fashion.”

The girl laughs.  It is probably the single most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard in my entire life, so vivid and pure it is that I am nearly brought to tears at hearing it.

“I’m sorry.”  She says, seeing my reaction to her laugh.  “You are new here.  Your senses will become accustomed to everything soon enough.”  As she says this, I notice her stare.  Like she sees into the most secret places in my soul.

“This is no good.”  She says.  “You are just a visitor here.  You need not worry about these things.  Put them out of your mind if you can.” She adds, then takes my hand.  It’s as if light is exploding from every point where her skin contacts mine.

Not knowing what else to do, I start talking like I would if I was home.  “So, where do people go to have fun around here?”  I ask, voice full of flirtation.

The girl laughs again as she leads me out the door.  “Flirty!  How did your wife put up with such behavior?”  Seeing my simple shrug, she says “I bet I can embarrass you.”

I put on my best grin and I say “I bet you can’t.  I’m a tough one to embarrass.”  Then I go about telling her how I used to stand around in women’s clothing shops before the virus and embarrass my friends by holding things up to myself like I was going to buy them and ask people if the things made my butt look big.

The girl laughs very hard at this and says “Still, I bet I can.”  Then, before my eyes, her form melts and shifts into that of a child.  “This is how I would have looked if I’d lived to ten years old.”

I gasp at this as she tells me she died young, still using her adult voice in her child’s form.  “Nobody should die young like that.”  I say, then I notice my friend has a devilish look on her face.  “What’s your problem?”  I ask, putting mock irritation in my voice.

“I told you.”  She says.  “I was going to embarrass you.”  Her form melts and shifts again into that of a baby.  My face goes red, as I, just as the girl promised, become very embarrassed.  I try to form words but I can’t.

Still in her baby form, the girls older voice says “See daddy.  I told you I could embarrass you.” then she giggles again.

“Li…Lianla.?”  I ask, shocked.  “Is it really you?”  I ask as her body shifts to its adult form and I, unsure what to do, continue to stare.

In her adult form, still slightly shorter than I am, she hugs me with her head on my shoulder.  “Yes daddy, its me.”  She says, then says “I love you daddy…I’m sorry I had to leave.”

I hold her dark hair in my hand as I embrace her and I speak.  “No daughter.  I’m sorry.  Sorry I couldn’t keep you safe.”  I’m thinking of the time when I found her little body under Danni…burnt from a techno zapper and crushed under Danni’s weight when she fell of top of Lianla.  How I couldn’t imagine her gone…how I sang to wake her up.  How I missed her so much.  I feel I’m crying, so I move to wipe away the tears.  Tears that aren’t there.

“There are no tears in this place daddy.  Usually no sadness either, but your case is special.”  Lianla says to me, smiling so warmly that its like my soul could burn through my body.

“How is my case special Lianla?”  I ask as I struggle to take in the pure beauty of this new room she’s led me into.  A deep lush woodland area.  Eagle would love this place…a perfect Gaian place.

“Daddy?”  my daughter asks.  “Will you please call me Li-Li?  I loved it when you called me Li-Li.”  She smiles at me, her eyes sparkling like perfect little diamonds.  Again, I feel like I’m crying, but I’m not.  I smile back at my little girl as she picks two apples from a tree and gives me one.

Taking a bite of the apple, I take her hand in my own and I say “Of course Li-Li.  I can deny you nothing.”  I say, causing her to smile a large smile.  “Now, why is my case special.  Dead is dead?  Isn’t it?”  I ask my daughter.  It’s so strange seeing my baby the same age I am.

She takes a bite of her apple and says nothing for a long time as she seems lost inside her thoughts.  Then finally she says “No daddy.  Mistakes are sometimes made.  You are here because you need this time, but you’re not dead.”  As she says it, I think to myself how perfectly aware of so many things she seems to be.

I am staring at her, thinking about my daughter.  Would she have been so strong, so sure of herself and strong of presence if she’d lived to this age in reality?

“No daddy.  I would never have lived to be this old.  If I hadn’t died, I would have been killed as a trophy.  My head kept in his room as a reminder of his total victory over you.”  Lianla says, laughing more at my shocked gaze.

“There are no secrets here, father.  We all know the thoughts of each other.  She says.  On hearing this, I close my eyes and I try to listen for thoughts.  “You can’t.  You’re here before your time and don’t have all the powers.”  Then she says “Come on daddy, there are people who want to see you.”

As my daughter, or her spirit, leads me through this world, I am bombarded with images.  Walking through a moonlit night.  A little further, a stormy afternoon, a little further, a desert.  “A special one, just for you daddy.”  Li-Li says, and points just as Worms, sandworms from the fictional world of Arrakis in my books jump from the desert to howl at the night.

Finally, after walking what seems like forever, we arrive at a door.  Lianla opens this door and she leads me through it into a room much like the one I was in at first, except this one holds benches in it for sitting and gazing into the mirror water.  On one of these benches a girl with straight dark hair wearing a long silver shimmering dress sits with her back to us, staring into the pond.

Lianla is the first to speak.  “You were right, he tried to flirt with me.”  She says, and the two share a laugh before the dark haired girl in the dress stands and turns to face me, causing an onslaught of emotions to cross my heart.

“Danni?”  I ask, as she walks toward me, seeming to take steps without movement.  She doesn’t talk, but just looks at me as she crosses the distance between she and I and kisses my forehead.  “Jaymes.”  Is all she says.

I can’t think of anything to say in this moment.  Nothing seems to fit here.  My heart is filled with joy at seeing my daughter, and now one of my closest most trusted friends here before me.  A sense of beauty is in this moment…something I’ve never felt before.  Not even when I saw Trudy being carried to me in her wedding dress the day we got married.

“Tried to flirt with your own daughter.  You really are an interesting person Jaymes.”  Danni says, staring at me in that same soul penetrating way my daughter had done before.  “Is there any girl you won’t try to sleep with?”  She asks.

I hug Li-Li from behind and say to Danni.  “Well, you have to admit, she is quite stunning.”  This comment causes us all to have a good laugh for several seconds while I whisper in Lianla’s ear.  “Just like your mother.”

Li-Li turns and kisses my cheek.  “Thank you daddy.”  She says.  I don’t know if she notices how troubled I look, but if she does, she doesn’t think its important enough to mention.  Silence is had for a few minutes, but finally, I have to speak.

“Danni, Li-Li…if I’m not dead, why am I here?  In fact, where is here?”  I ask now, trying to make sense of it all.  Trying to wrap my mind around one logical fact in this land of seemingly ever changing perfection.

Danni answers.  “You are here for two reasons.  First, you need this time, and since you’re close enough to death, you were able to be pulled to us.”  She stops to gaze into the pool and smile, then says “Second, you’re being charged to set fate right where its gone wrong…but you are on the brink of settling down and giving up the fight.”

“You must not stop fighting daddy.”  Li-Li says.  “I know you want to stop fighting…to end your story.  But your saga continues daddy.  You’re the only one that can do this.”  She stops for several heartbeats, then says “So much has gone wrong with fate.  The key to making everything as it should be falls in your hands now.  One decision has destroyed the plan that fate had for the world, and has affected the destiny of the tribes.  It must be undone, and the savior must step forward to lead all to salvation…to the dream.”  She says, staring at me like the weight of a universe lays on my shoulders.

I struggle to take in their words.  “What decision?  How does one choice damage fate?”  I ask, confused at what they mean and hardly believing I’m as important as they say I am.

Lianla takes my hands and leads me to the edge of the pool.  The mirror image in it fades and is replaced by a group of people on the mall stairs in the dark.  One man runs and is thrown off the side, falling to the floor below.

Suddenly the scene shifts and we are beside a boat.  Looking around I see several of the Mallrats there.  “This is where the decision was made.”  Lianla says as she points to a hill.  “See him there?  Zoot.  He was supposed to burn alive on the boat, but Amber took pity on him.”  She shakes her head and says “It was not right.”

As we watch the boat float away, I start to question my child.  “Li-Li?  How are we seeing all this?  How is it possible?”  I see Trudy then, hard faced and conflicted.  I want to go to her…to protect her.

“I know daddy, but you can’t.  Momma can’t see us.”  Lianla says, reading my mind again.  “She made it along alright though…you know that.”  Then, she does something that makes me wish again that I could cry here.  She walks over to Trudy and kisses her cheek and says “I love you mommy.”

I start to speak again, but Li-Li stops me.  “Time is different here daddy.  We can see, and visit, any point of any possible timeline…past, present, future.”

“I don’t understand honey.”  I say, straining to make sense of what she’s saying, but its like trying to find one certain grain of sand on a beach where no light shines…it cannot be done.

“Let me show you.”  She says.  “It will be easier if you see with your eyes the things we see everyday.”  Then she squeezes my hand again and we’re transported…taken to the waters edge.  “Watch daddy.”  She says.  “This is the past.”

As I watch, a container floating on the water comes towards the beach.  The container has an early Techno symbol painted on it.  Lianla urges me to walk towards it after the box smashes itself against some rocks, and a body comes floating out of it, rocking back and forth a few times before coming to rest on the sand of the beach.

“Now daddy.  Lets go forward a little bit to what you’re here to see.”  Lianla says, as time speeds up like one of those stop motion cameras on T.V., finally stopping as a group of kids begin to walk towards us in the distance.  “Just watch.”  She says.

The kids are talking, yet their conversation is muted.  After several minutes, their faces come into view.  First Bray, leading as usual, then off to his side, Lex.  Behind him, batched together are Ryan, Salene, Patsy and Cloe with Bob in tow.  Next are Jack, Ellie and Dal, then Ebony and further behind the rest is Trudy holding Brady.  I wonder to myself why Trudy is so far behind everyone.

“Momma hasn’t been back from the chosen too long at this point.  The others are still scared of her.  Even Bray holds secret hate and fear that he doesn’t voice because of Brady.  The last of his family.”  Li-Li says as she watches with me.

Finally their voices come into range to be heard as Lex walks up beside Bray.  “What is that?”  He asks.  Bray says he doesn’t know, then says he’s going to check it out and for everyone to stay back.

He walks to the debris and after checking everything, he yells “Trudy!  Come here.”  Trudy hands off Brady to Salene and goes to where Bray is.  Bray asks “Trudy, who does this look like to you?”

Trudy walks around to the side of the body and looks at the face and says “Oh my god, Bray.  This is Jaymes, Martin’s friend.”  Then she says “Is he alive?”

Bray checks him and says “Yeah, he is…it looks like he’s in a coma or something though.”  Then Bray says “I hate to leave a person in need behind, but he was one of Martin’s closest friends.  We have to leave him…to be safe.”

The next part of the scene before me plays out as I watch, somewhat hurt that two of the only friends I had before the virus had decided to leave me to die when I needed them most.  Especially since one is now my wife.

“NO!”  Ebony screams, pushing Bray out of the way and checking my body over.  “You’re not leaving him.  He’s coming with us.”  She says, forcefully, adding “If Jaymes stays, The Supreme Mother and Divine Child of Zoot stay here with him.”

Bray starts to shoot a reply back, but I can’t hear it because Lianla interrupts.  “Lets do this…go into Ebony’s mind.”  She says, taking my hands and transporting us to a dark and raining night, though we do not get wet from the drops.  Suddenly the scene shifts and we’re in a bedroom and I hear Ebony’s voice.  “We’re in her mind now.”  Lianla says.

“My dad hurt me again today, my angel.”  She says, looking at the tree outside her window.  “He hit me cause I spilled water on his papers.  I wish you’d been there.  I wanted you to be.  You would have protected me.”  She starts crying and hugging her favorite teddy bear.  “My sisters left a few days ago.  At least they can’t hurt me anymore.  They went to live with Gramma and Granpa.  They wouldn’t take me though.  They say I’m too mean.  I don’t want to be mean, but I don’t want to be invisible either.”

The sound of a car causes Ebony to jump from her bed and look out her window, and I move up beside her in this vision.  As I look out, car lights illuminate a face…my face of course, and I hear Ebony says “So…Jaymes is my angel.”  Then, hugging her bear and turning out her lights, she says “Goodnight angel Jaymes.”

With a flash, we’re returned back to the beach, back to Ebony pleading with Bray.  “Please Bray!  I’ve never asked this tribe for anything…not once!  I’m begging you Bray…Ebony is begging you…let me bring him back with us.”

Trudy shakes her head.  “Not enough food for him.”  She says, making the case why Jaymes should be left rather than taken to the mall.

As she lifts Jaymes’ head up to give him some water, Ebony says “He can share my ration.  Food, water…whatever.”  Her eyes turned towards Bray, silently pleading her case.

“He’s a friend of Martin….what if he…”  Bray says before being interrupted by Ebony’s beseeching voice.  “Not everyone connected with Zoot is evil Bray!  I’ve changed…some, and you haven’t forgotten you’re his brother have you?” she says.

“We don’t have room for him Ebony.”  Bray says, looking at her like all her pleading means nothing at all to him, like he won’t be swayed.

Ebony is frantic trying to convince them.  “He can stay in my room.”  She says.  “Please Bray, let me take him with us.  Who knows if he has anyone, a family or anything.”

Bray finally outright says no. and directs the tribe to head for home.  Ebony is angry and hurt that Bray won’t let her take me home.  She stands watching as the tribe move past her and head away towards the mall.

Finally she says to herself “Fine Bray, I’ll do this like I do everything.  Alone.” Then she gathers up the few things she can find.  Weapons and trinkets and places them in a backpack which she straps to her back, then holds up my body, dragging me in the direction the Mallrats just walked.  “Don’t worry guardian angel.”  She says.  “I’ll look after YOU now.”

A flash of light and we’re back in the room with mirror water again, Danni waiting on us.  “It took her nearly three days to drag you to the mall.  When she came in carrying you, we voted and since it seemed important to her, we let you stay.  Amber helped when she came back and saw you there.  She kept food coming in from her tribe.”

I turn to Lianla and say “You’ve shown me all this honey, but it doesn’t help me.”  My mind moving now like normal, trying to see the things that must be done.  Trying to see how I am supposed to make an impact on these events.

“You still have more to see father…then we’ll discuss what must be done.”  She tells me, taking my arm and leading be again to the pool.  “This has already happened for you, but you didn’t see it.  You need to.”  Lianla tells me as she shows me a tribe gathering with a casket in the center of the room, with me inside and transports us to that scene.  “We’ve gone back in time…as it’s actually happening.”

“Your memorial daddy.”  She says as I turn to look at her, only to find she’s not there.  I look down and she’s in her baby form again.  She answers my gaze with a point towards the back.  I see Ghany and Fire there with the other children.

Patsy is just finishing reading the letter I wrote her.  I think how interesting a memorial this made.  Li-Li urges me over to where her brother and sister are.  Ghany starts giggling and shouts “Daddy, Li…Daddy, Li…Daddy, Li.”  This causes me to jump with fright for a moment, and I notice Fire, Duncan, Precious, Zan and Antonio looking at us.  I hear someone call for a break because the babies are fussing.  “Li-Li?”  I ask, worried.  “What’s going on?  Why is he doing that?”

“Small children and dogs can see us.  Bob would be going crazy right now if he were here.  That’s why I’m in baby form.  It’s the way that Ghany remembers me.”

We move from where the babies can see us, and I watch as Amber reads the letter to her, then the one to sweet little Brady.  I watch as Gattaca gets up to her letter then breaks down.  Lianla says “This is no good.  We need to move ahead.”  And we are again taken to a new place.  This time, a bright afternoon with several people gathered around my casket.  Without a word, Li-Li touches my forehead and in a flash I find myself in the casket…in my body, seeing everything around me.  I hear Martin saying something to me, and then SHE comes into view.  I hear myself ask how she could do this.  She says “Zoot lives!” and closes the casket.  “No….not her.”  I say.  “It can’t be her.”

A flash of light takes us back the Danni, but rather than say anything, I walk away to sit by myself.  I hear footsteps, then Danni’s voice.  “No Li, he needs time.”

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

After a few minutes in deep thought at her betrayal, I turn back to face Danni and my daughter, along with two new people who face away from me.

“I’m okay now.”  I say as I practice a calming technique learned from Tai-San, long the young guru and spiritual center of our tribe.  I breathe in, and back out…visualizing my hurt as a black ball being expelled from my body.

“You should be better daddy.  You’ve spent a month and a half staring out at nothing.”  Li-Li says.  Finally approaching and sitting beside me, laying her head on my shoulder.

“When I was in the coffin…I mean really in it, I thought the queen was…WAIT A MINUTE!  A month and a half?  It was ten mi…” I say, then pause at Danni’s smile.  “Time moves different here.”  I say.

The first of the new people turns to face me.  “Yes, time does move different here.”  The man says with a grin on his face.  “Hello Jaymes.”  He says, as my instinct and old pain take over and I reach for my weapons.

“You don’t need them.  I won’t harm you now.  The man says.  “My living mistakes are not to be repeated here…son.”  As he looks at me passively, and almost like he loves me.

I look at them all and I say “What kind of a place is this, that HE would be allowed in.”  Li-Li grabs on to me as I attempt to go at him.  “No daddy.  Please!  No violence here.”

I carefully watch the man who contributed to my birth, waiting for him to make a move, and when he walks towards Li-Li, I angrily tell him “You stay away from my daughter!”

“Son, its okay…I…” my father starts, before I interrupt him.  “SIX!  Six years old!  That’s how old I was when you broke my first two ribs!”  I yell, rage in my voice…anger showing on my face.

My father walks towards me, almost submissively and says “Son.  I made mistakes, I know that.  Come with me and let me show you something.”  He holds his hand towards me.

Reluctantly, I take his hand and just like with Lianla, I am transported away.  I am now standing in a hospital where a birth is going on.  “Where are we?”  I ask, angry at being here with my dad.

“Watch.”  He says.  As the woman’s agonized screams give way to the screams of a new born child.  The doctor holds the baby up and says “Charles, Katrina…you have a son.”  Beside me, I notice my father crying.

Suddenly, Katrina starts convulsing in the bed.  The doctor orders a nurse to take the baby out of the room and tells my father to wait outside.  “I went to the nurse’s station and gave them my cell phone number and went to Aunt Ruby’s to be with Maddy.”  He says, referring to my sister, who’s real name is Madison.  Mom and Dad used to call her Mosquito, and that got shortened to Moz.

“I never made it to Ruby’s though.  I stopped at a bar and started to drink a little.  More than I intended to, and when they called to tell me your mom was alright I tried to drive back.  I was in a bad wreck and suffered major head trauma.”  My father says.  “Madison is old enough that she remembers.  I changed after that.”

Then my father takes me to various scenes from his life.  “Your mother could have stopped all the hurt at anytime really.”  He says, stopping at a scene where she was sitting alone in his workroom with a gun in his mouth.  He’d been drinking and was going to kill himself.  Mom stopped him though.

Next we go to a similar scene, but this time, a young boy…me, walks in and says “Papa?  I’m scared.  Will you tell me a story?”  My dad threw the gun in the drawer and told me a story that put me to bed, then he took me upstairs and laid me gently in my little bed after he sits holding me against his chest looking at me for a long time.

“You couldn’t stand guns after that, though when you were older, you didn’t know why.”  My father says, then he adds.  “Its time to go back now.”

We come back and have to duck to the side as a ball comes flying at us.  I look to see a little girl had thrown it.  “Watch where you’re throwing things little one.”  I say, as my father says “Goodbye son…and good luck.”  As he disappears.

I go back to Danni and Li-Li as the little girl runs off to play by herself.  “Who’s that?”  I ask, watching as the child hums nursery rhythms and skips around in a circle.

“Go to her.  Talk to her” Danni says.  “But be careful with her.  Her emotional and spiritual growth was stunted, so she’s forever in baby form and very fragile.”

I walk up to the little girl and say hi.  “Can I play too?”  I ask, watching the happy girl jump and smile and sing to herself.  She takes the ball she was throwing and rolls it to me.  I sit and I roll the ball back to her.

“I’m waiting for momma and papa.”  She says.  “I’m lost.”  She rolls the ball back to me.

Her little voice is so sad in its calmness at the way she’s talking about being lost.  It breaks my heart, the sadness I feel from the child.  “Do you know your name little one?”  I ask as I catch the ball and roll it back to her…watching her little smile brighten the whole room.

“Yes sir, my name is Ahava.  What’s yours?”  she says, then starts skipping circles around me.  She’s innocent and happy.  Not the first care in the world marks this little soul here with me.

“Ahava?”  I say.  “My name is Jaymes.  I’m…”  Li-Li stops me before I’m able to tell her I’m her father, saying it isn’t the right time.

“Ahava?”  Li-Li says to the little girl.  “Yes Li?”  Ahava answers her back, to which Li-Li asks “Can you go play somewhere else please honey?”  Ahava smiles and says “Okay Li, bye.  Bye Jaymes.”  Then she leaves.

I’m heartbroken as I watch my first daughter leave me again, then I turn to Lianla upset and I ask.  “Why did you send her away?  I wanted to spend time with her.  Please bring her back.”  I beg, but Lianla hits me with another of her pearls of wisdom.

“You didn’t need to talk to her that much.  Just see her and know she was okay.”  Lianla says.  “You would have harmed her if you’d told her you’re her father right now.  You and Gattaca need to be here together.”

“But I…”  I say before Danni stops me and Li-Li says.  “You might see her later…right now you need to hear your mission…you need to know what’s coming.”

Chapter 22 (Part 1)—Mission:

I haven’t spoken a word in some time.  Hours by my reckoning, but in this paradise, its more like weeks.  When Lianla and Danni would try to get me to speak, I would only talk to tell them that they could say anything they wanted to when they brought Ahava back, but not before.

Finally, they did bring her back and they left us alone to have time together.  It was magical getting to spend time with Ahava.  We played games, laughed with each other and Ahava even gave me a little tea party.  Then her mood shifted and she jumped into my lap.

“Li thinks I don’t know anything.”  Ahava says, staring seriously at me.  “She always thinks I need to be protected.  She’s wrong though.”  She pouts and says “I know more than she thinks.”

“Really?”  I ask.  “What things do you know, beautiful one, that Lianla doesn’t know you know?”  Smiling at my first daughter as I ask her.

“I know how I died.  Mommy drank a lot, and one night she drank too much and killed me without knowing.”  Ahava says, still smiling.  “I also know you Jaymes.  You’re papa.  Stupid sis thinks you and momma have to both be here before I can find out.  But my friend helped me find out.  Sis has a lot of things she doesn’t know yet.”  More smiles as she talks.

I start to talk, but Ahava takes control of the conversation again.  “Mommy told you she fell down stairs and hurt me.  I know papa.  She just didn’t want you to be hurt anymore than you were.  Mommy still loves you.”

Her head perks up and she says “Sis is coming back.  Danni and my friend are with her.”  this causes me to look towards the point in the middle of the room where the door is as Li-Li, Danni and a boy in jeans and a shirt come in.

I look at the boy and I say “I’m not even going to pretend to be shocked to see you.”  The boy is much more meek, passive and happy than when I knew him in life.  “Are you happy?”  I ask him.

“Yes I am happy.”  He replies.  “Now that the lies, illusions and insanity no longer cloud my mind.  I am very happy.”  He says, moving to stare into the pool of silver fluid.  I wonder what HE watches when he gazes in the pool.

“I mostly watch the life of Trudy and Brady.  How it would have been different had I never became the Guardian.”  He says.  “I knew Zoot was alive the whole time, waiting for his time.  We created the chosen together…well, he created it and forced it on me.  During the course of it all, I went insane and started to believe the lies I told.  Even after he gave up the idea and moved on.  It was this event that led me to your wife and her daughter.  I thought that when Zoot saw it he would be pleased and come back to me.”  He says.

Ahava runs up to him and hugs him tightly.  “Jaffa!  I’m so pleased to see you again.”  Smiling a great big smile as she kisses his cheek and he smiles a wide smile too.  I watch them closely, noting how they react to each other.  Jaffa almost looks like a good father here like this.

Danni and Li-Li walk off to themselves and Jaffa comes closer to me, holing Ahava.  “Did you tell him?”  he asks Ahava, to which she answers that she did.  He smiles and says “That’s good.”

“Lianla watches after Ahava.”  Jaffa says.  “But she’s afraid to take any kind of a risk with her.  I’ve been teaching her how to block thoughts from her mind, and to block people from reading thoughts in her own mind, I told her about you.  Soon, I’m going to teach her to shift her form.”

I look at him silently, remembering how he was, but for some reason when I speak, the first words out of my mouth are “Sorry I broke your arm that time.”  I must have said it a little too matter-of-factly, because he laughs at me.

“It’s alright Jaymes…hunger does things to people.”  He says.  “Besides, to get on Zoot’s good side and win his respect, you had to be cruel.”  He takes a deep breath and says “I’m sorry too.  About your you finger…and for starving your son when he was my captive.”

He uses this as a transition into other, more serious matters.  “You have a dark and difficult road ahead, and as Lianla has said, you must fight.  YOU MUST!”  he lets the words sink in before continuing.  “I’ve helped usher a dark age towards everyone.  You have to stop it.”  He stops again to tell Ahava to go play.

“Along your travels you will lose old friends, make new ones.  You will lose people you love, and some friends roles will be reversed.  In the end, help will come from the most unlikely of places.”  Jaffa said.

His final words sounded very far away.  I look around and the room is slowly fading into a brilliant white light.  Danni, Lianla, and Ahava have come beside Jaffa.  As they all start to fade away, I hear them speaking lowly.

“Do you think he’ll do it?”  Danni asked

“Hard to say.  It’s a tough road ahead of him.”  Jaffa said

“He’ll do it.  Daddy can do anything.”  Ahava said.

And as all fades from white to black, I hear Lianla say “Too bad he’ll never remember he was here”  Then faintly, “I love you daddy.”  I feel myself say “I love you too Li-Li.”

Chapter 22 (Part 2)—New Life:

[publishers note:  The following account was written by Gattaca.  A document accompanying this one states that Jaymes refused to chronicle his life between his betrayal and the battle of Eagle Mountain.  Gattaca felt this part of the tale was important and wrote it from her memories of the event to include with the publishing of ‘The Long Twilight’]

I write this near the end of my life, because Jaymes never has.  Everyone has tried to get him to.  Especially after the popularity among the younger generations for the stories he’s written about our times.  The last time President Jay and First Lady Ice visited overseas, they came back with stories of the wide spread reading of ‘A Future Imperfect’.  On having heard this, Jaymes merely tipped his hat, said he had to get to the store and left, after stealing a kiss from the First Lady’s cheek.

But I’m moving away from my point.  I write to tell an untold story of Jaymes’ adventures.
 

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

Jaymes woke up finally after nearly two weeks of being in a false death.  He was understandably confused and disoriented after the experience of having been dead, but still alive.

“Gat?  Where am I?” he had asked me.  I had to be sad, because the look on his face was one of fear that I had never before seen on the face of Jaymes.

I tried to comfort him as best I could.  “Lovely boy…you’ve been asleep for two days.  We’re on Hope Island.  What is the last thing you remember?  I asked him.

Jaymes looked from side to side, confused, then suddenly his eyes became filled with such sadness.  “My daughter is dead…and the one person I had perfect trust in betrayed me.” Jaymes said, then he asked “Why would she do it to me?  After so long, how could she change like that?”

“I had hoped you maybe wouldn’t know.”  I said to him with my hand on his knee.  “I was hoping I could break it to you gently.” I said, looking into his eyes.

“WELL I DO KNOW!!!!!”  he screamed, shocking me.  “And I don’t want to talk about it…ever!”  then he threw my hand off his knee and got up and walked off to the side.  “Where are we?”  he asked again.

I moved to stand behind Jaymes and hug him.  “I told you.  We’re on Hope Island.”  I say, thinking how he must still be confused from his ordeal, but I had actually misunderstood the question.

“I meant where on the island.  Its dark here, but this is no cave.”  Jaymes said, clarifying his question.  “We’re in a basement or something.” He said, running his hand over the smooth walls in the darkness.

“We’re inside the old military facility here.”  I told him, trying to silently support him in his pain.  “We’re deep underground.”  I added.

Jaymes looks at the walls and says “My wife told me this place was destroyed when they were looking for the virus antidote.”  Jaymes said, still running his hand over the walls.  I know why he does this.  Its so he doesn’t have to think about the things that trouble him.

“Jaymie, come sit down.  We need to decide what we’re going to do when we go back to the city.”  I said, trying to focus his mind and ease his nerves, hoping I was helping him.

He doesn’t sit, so I try to focus him on something else.  “If Trudy, Bray and Ebony know you from before, how did you take the antidote?”  I asked him.

“Ticia and I were traveling together at the time.  She would always go and get a does for herself and her ‘invalid’ friend as well.”  He said, then suddenly added “Oh no.  She doesn’t know I’m gone.  The last she’ll know is that I’m sick, but not dead.  That’s going to hurt her I think.”  He closed his eyes as he said that.

From the darkness, a voice says “No she won’t.  She knows you’re safe.”  The voice causes Jaymes to jump to his feet and throw a look in the direction it came from.

“Tic?”  he said.  “Tic?  Is it really you?  he asked, voice so happy that I think he forgot for that moment, just that moment, the pain he felt in his soul.

“Yes…and an old friend.”  Ticia said, then lit a flashlight which was a welcome thing to break the complete darkness we’d been in for many hours without end.

My first good view of Jaymes’ since he woke is one I’ll never forget.  He was sweating and anguished, but happy all the same.  “Gohan?”  Jaymes said.  “I heard you got yourself in with the Chosen…and the Technos.

Gohan, Ticia’s brother, said “I did what I had to I guess.  Luckily both groups found me useful.”  He looked at his sister and said “But it’s nice to be with family again.”

That wasn’t what Jaymes had needed to hear, because as he found the door, he said “It must be nice to still have family.”  Then made his way up and out of the facility basement.  We all quickly followed.

When we finally found him outside, Jaymes was staring out at the water, but his back was to the city.  I wanted to talk to him, but I thought it best to let him have his time, so I talked to Ticia and Gohan.

“What do we know about what’s been happening in the city?”  I asked, talking to Gohan.  One of Ram’s most capable generals.  I missed Ram so much at that moment.  I wished he were there right then.

“The dark ops people Ram left me have reported that Zoot is taking the city already.  Luke and the Chosen were working with him all along.”  Gohan says.  This causes Jaymes to speak back to us.

“If the chosen knew Zoot was still alive, that means my wife did too.”  he said.  “All this time…she knew and didn’t tell anyone.”  He said.  I notice that lately when he talks about Trudy he always says ‘My wife’ and doesn’t use her name.

Gohan continued like he’d been interrupted giving a briefing.  “Yes, well, Zoot now controls the mall, the hotel and the area between the two.  He has a strong perimeter set up and he’s fortifying and preparing to bring his incursion further into the city, according to my people.

At this point, Ticia spoke up and asked “So, when are we going back to the city to get everybody out?”  She tossed a rock into the water.  “If we wait too long, Zoot will be stronger.  The city will be harder to get into.”

We all looked at Jaymes, because he always had a plan, but the answer he gave shocked everyone, even Gohan, who doesn’t know him as well as Ticia and I.  “We’re not going back.  The city can fend for itself.”  Jaymes said.

Ticia is thoroughly shocked by his answer.  “Jaymes…your babies…your family. She said with her eyes as wide as plates.

Jaymes turned to face her, his eyes were wet.  “They’re dead Tic.  If Zoot and his queen have them…they’re already gone.”  He paused a minute and said “Zoot hates me…and Ghany and Fire will pay for it.”

I came up behind him with his gear in my hands and said “We can still save them.  There’s still time.”

Jaymes took his things from me and stared at the skyline of the city for several minutes, in deep thought, you could tell.  After that time he simply said “No.”

It was Ticia who came to him and asked “Aren’t you forgetting something Jaymes?”  holding his free hand in friendship.  When he didn’t answer her, she said “Ghany and Fire aren’t your only children.  Duncan and Precious need their dad too.”

Jaymes’ face shot up and his gaze went in Ticia’s direction.  “We have to get to them Tic…NOW!”  and with that, he strapped on his packs and started to walk towards the other side of the island.

Gohan’s hand on his shoulder stopped Jaymes.  “Eagle Mountain would be closer to where you’re wanting to go, wouldn’t it?” he asked Jaymes while adjusting the controls on a remote in his hand.

Jaymes regarded him carefully, almost paranoid and said “Yes, we’d be less than a half day hard walk from Gaian territory.”  Jaymes took one of his knives out and check the sharpness of the blade.

Gohan silently indicated for Jaymes and the rest of us to follow him back into the facility.  He leads us through a maze of rooms and corridors and down a staircase, finally coming to a door eight levels down to a part of the facility that was shielded from the meltdown that destroyed the rest of the place.

Gohan smiled at our looks of awe and amazement at the sights before us and said “Railcar system to evacuate everyone in an emergency.  It runs underwater from here to Eagle Mountain.  Usually takes about 3 hours fully loaded and going safely, but if Jaymes helps me unlock the rest of the cars from the front car, we could probably cut it down to an hour or less.

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

A little more than twenty minutes later, Jaymes had the front car unhooked from the rest and Gohan had figured out how to run the rail car system.  We all load into the car carrying our things.  Jaymes moved to the back of the car to be by himself.

Ticia was the first to get up the nerve to go to him while Gohan was at the controls driving us along the tunnel.  Ticia sat beside Jaymes for a long time, just being there, before speaking to him finally.

“Why are we going to find Ebony and Duncan and Precious, but not Trudy and Ghany, Fire and Brady?”  She asked him.  Her voice carried a strange mix of emotion in it.

“Because that’s what I choose to do Ticia.”  Was Jaymes’ answer, said like he wanted her to stop bothering him about it, which because she’s a close friend of his, she did not do for him.

“There has to a reason why you’re not going to get your children from Zoot’s clutches Jaymes.  You love your babies and Brady too much to just leave them.”  Ticia said, pushing Jaymes for an answer to her question.

“There’s nothing to be done for Fire, Ghany and Brady.  But I can hopefully still get to Ebony and save Duncan and Precious.”  Jaymes said.  His voice was not so much one of caring as it was a tone of tactical thinking.

“Jaymes, tell me what’s going on.”  Ticia pressed, trying to find out what was wrong and scared because of the way he was acting.

Jaymes didn’t say another word the rest of the trip to Eagle Mountain.  He sat staring out the window at the dark wall, face seeming to become a little more devastated with each emergency light that passed his face.

After a little more than an hour and a half, the controls on the car automatically began to slow us down, bringing us to a stop just a dozen or so feet from the very end of the tunnel.  Jaymes was the first one off the car and he located the main facility entrance door and the emergency exit to the tunnel.  He took the emergency exit, pointing to the door and saying “Who knows what’s up there.”

As we followed him, we all squinted when the door to the exit tunnel opened and sunlight finally flooded our eyes for the first time in a while.  Jaymes pushed on like the onslaught of light didn’t bother him.  He found his bearings and started moving fast towards Gaian territory.  He’s moving as fast, or maybe faster than he did when he was trying to find Moz when she was missing.  There’s no time for talking, because we were all having to move too fast just to keep up with him.

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

Gohan, Ticia and I finally caught Jaymes just before we entered reached the outer perimeter of the Gaian camp.  He doesn’t even stop for the regular pleasantries.  He identifies Pride and says “Gather the tribe Pride.  Where’s Phoenix?”

Pride, taken aback by Jaymes shouting orders said “She’s in Eagles…”  he trailed off when Jaymes walked right on past him, telling him to feed Ticia, Gohan and I and started going towards Eagle’s hut.  I walked up there too, but didn’t go in.  I crouched by the door and listened from outside.

“Ebony?”  Jaymes said, then he breathed a sigh of relief when she answered him, then he took his son from the basket he slept in.  “My boy.”  He said.  “I’m glad you’re safe little man.”  Then he noticed Ebony’s complete shock.

“As you can see, I’m not dead.  Ram was working with Zoot, and when Zoot double crossed him, he double crossed Zoot.”  Jaymes said to her.  Then he said “But none of them are going to get what they want out of the deals they’ve made.”

He then continued on, while she was smiling and crying happy tears.  “I’ve called a meeting of the tribe.”  He said to Ebony, as he happily played with his son, then asked for his daughter too.

“Is this about the new chosen uprising?”  Ebony asked, looking worriedly at Jaymes playing with their children.  Jaymes merely answered yes and carried Duncan and Precious outside.  I quickly moved down with the rest of the group.

For several moments, Jaymes and Ebony spoke words I couldn't hear, then he handed their son to Ebony and turned to the tribe, still holding his Precious.

“I have called you all here that a serious threat to the tribe may be addressed and we might find a way to handle that threat.”  Jaymes said, his voice carried such a sense of urgency, which just added to the growing mystery of what was in his mind since he woke up.

From the crowd, a young woman yelled “Is this because of new attacks on the city?”  Then she said “No more fighting for city dwellers!”  Jaymes looked at her disappointed, but carried on.

“I ask not that you fight!  I come before you imploring you to run!  Save yourselves and your families!  Leave this place now and do not ever return!”  I noticed Ebony’s mouth drop in shock as she stared at Jaymes, then he dropped a bombshell on us all.

“Eagle will not be returning.  You will need a new leader to guide you through the dark hours to come.  I, Wolf of Gaian tribe, your brother, say to you now that Phoenix should be that leader!”

Murmurs and shouts asking where Eagle had gone came up from the crowd, and Jaymes answered them loudly.  “EAGLE HAS DIED!  The city killed her spirit!  She will not be coming back!  Now, VOTE!  Phoenix as your leader!  YEA OR NAY!”  he yelled, then he became the first to yell to the affirmative.  Soon, a roar of support for Ebony as leader rose from the crowd.  When they settled back down, Jaymes said “Sisters and Brothers!  Allow me to present Phoenix!  The new keeper of all our fates.”

Ebony pulled Jaymes back inside the hut and I moved back to my eaves dropping position, trying to figure out what’s in Jaymes’ head.  Neither I nor Ebony was prepared for what Jaymes had to say.

“Jaymes!  Why in the hell did you do that?”  Ebony said rather loudly, angry with him, but her face gave away that she was happy to see him still alive.  “Why did you make them vote me in Amber’s place?  I don’t want it!  She was helping me before she died.  I’m not ready for power yet!”  she said, then Jaymes laid a shocker on us.

“AMBER ISN’T DEAD!…no more dead than me.”  He said, looking Ebony right in the face.  I could see his face too.  He was terrified.  His look told a thousand stories of pain.

Ebony started to question him more, but he interrupted her.  “Eagle IS dead Ebony.  Zoot’s queen killed her.  Amber killed Eagle.  Do you understand what I’m saying?  Amber is Zoot’s new queen!, and she killed Eagle.  The person I trusted most in this world!”  Jaymes said, then collapsed to the floor crying with his head in her lap and hugging her legs.  “She has my babies Eb…she helped him kill my babies.”

Ebony was horrified by this statement.  “Ghany…Ghany and Fire are dead Jaymes?”  she asked, hardly able to form the words as Jaymes still hugged tight to her legs.

She stood him up and asked her question about the babies again.  She hugged him tight like she was trying to be his armor against all the bad things.  He answered her finally “If they’re not, they will be.”

“What will you do to get them?”  Ebony asked him.  I noticed she was crying with him as if someone had told her that Duncan and Precious had been killed.  Through everything Ebony’s ever done to him, in that moment you could tell that she truly loved Jaymes with all her heart.

“I’m not going to get them Phoenix.  I’m not involving myself in matters of the city anymore.  That place can fight its own battles now.”  Jaymes said to her.

Ebony looked at him like she was disappointed in him, and hurt too.  “That doesn’t sound like the Jaymes I know.  Shying away from a battle isn’t your style, or have you forgotten the Jaikarim?”  she said.

“I haven’t forgotten.”  I’m just too old to be running from fight to fight without rest.”  He took a deep and exhausted breath and said “I’m tired Ebony.  I’m just so tired of it all.” Jaymes said.  Looking at her in a way that said he’d given up.

Ebony played with a strand of his green streaked hair and she smiled at him.  “Remember when you first woke up in the mall?”  she asked him.  “So confused and all alone.  Wanting nothing but a family and a place to call home.”

For the first time in a long time, Jaymes smiled and said “I do remember.  I remember having a wonderful nurse take care of me those first weeks when I was getting my strength back.”

Ebony stared down at the ground and said to Jaymes “Its all gone so horribly wrong since then.  I wish I could just take it all away and start over.”

Jaymes laid his head on her shoulder and looked at their daughter sleeping in his arms and said “I wouldn’t change the past for anything.”  Then he says something that Ebony later told me he shouldn’t know about.  “Thank you for fighting Bray and Trudy to get me into the mall.”  He handed Precious to her mother and walked outside.  I moved to the bottom of the steps before they came out.  As he walked past me Jaymes asked “Did you get all that, or do you need part repeated?”

Ebony winked an eye at me as she passes.  “He’s good.”

Jaymes made his way to the little stream nearby.  He went alone, but I followed him, still concerned for him.  When I found him finally, he was staring intently at the water, bent down by the streams edge.  He touched the water like you would someone’s cheek and he said “Thank you for helping me remember, Ahava.  I love you.”  I’ve asked him many times why he mentioned our child’s name, but he has never answered me.

After I’d returned to the camp and waited several hours for Jaymes to return, I finally asked if anyone had seen Jaymes.  Shockingly, Gohan answered, saying “He’s gone to the city.”

Chapter 23—Parting of The Ways:

[publishers note:  After word spread of the new publication of ‘The Long Twilight’ with the account of Gattaca included, we received a visit from Fire, Daughter of Jaymes, who delivered a package to us, along with her father’s strong suggestion that the following be included if Gattaca’s account was published.  We have authenticated the document and included it here.  It can reasonably be assumed that Jaymes himself is the author of the following account]

It seemed so simple a thing to me just to leave.  Find a place and never think about any of it again, but holding little Precious in my arms melted the wall I was trying to form in my heart and made me realize I had to know.  I had to know the fate of my Ghany and Fire, and the jewel of my life, their mother.  My angel Trudy.

On the way, it came to my thinking that if Zoot and Amber wanted him dead, that having Jaymes walk boldly into the city might not be advised.  So, I traded on my way to the city and managed to get a cloak, a hood, robes and a mask for my face.  Farther along my journey towards the city, I found a group of kids playing with stuff that the Technos left behind when they left.  One, a young Mallrat was playing with a techno voice modifier.  I picked her up off the ground trying to intimidate her, which works…even better when I use her name.  “Give me that Mouse.”  I say, putting anger into my voice.  Kind of laughing as her eyes turn wide and sad too because this is what I’ve become.  Threatening my own tribe for the things I need.  She took the modifier off and handed it to me, and when I put her down she ran off.  I messed with the controls until I found a suitable voice.  One with both male and female sounding tones.  I decided that this would add to the mystery of my identity if I was spoken to.

I didn’t go into the city right away though.  I made my way to an old house.  Fallen into disrepair and raided several times over, but it doesn’t look that way to me.  When I look at it, I see a little boy throwing mud in his big sister’s hair, I see a family having cookouts during happy times, I see a boy sneaking out late at night in the pouring rain to climb a tree and I see a silver and black haired goddess sneaking in a window one night seeking comfort from all the pain of the world.  I dig through junk on the outside and I find buried deep under lots of other things, a sign that shows just how much it’s all changed.  The sign reads: ‘Happy Home—Charles, Katrina, Madison, Jaymes.’  Its old and faded…just like all happy times.

Suddenly, from behind I was struck by someone with a weapon and a voice yelled at me to “PUT THAT DOWN!  You have no right to that!”  I twisted around on the ground till I was on my back and I looked up to see Trudy standing over me, anger on her face, and smudges where tears had fallen through her makeup.  I tossed the sign aside and picked myself back up and moved away from her.  I started to tell her it was me, but something in my heart stopped me from doing that.

“I’m sorry ma’am.  I was just taking a rest, and these steps seemed inviting for a sit down.  The sign was just there and I was looking at it.”  I said, hearing my voice strangely through the techno modifier changing it.

Trudy collapsed on the steps where I was sitting a moment before and said to me “No, I’m sorry.  It’s been a bad week and I just don’t know who I can trust anymore.”  She picked the sign up and rubbed her hand over my name.  Eyes and mouth set in a way I know means she’s trying not to cry anymore.

“You’re Madison then?”  I asked, playing this game that my heart is telling me to play.  “This Jaymes is your…brother maybe?”  I asked, pretending like I didn’t know while at the same time wondering why I’m acting like this towards my wife.

“No, no.”  she said.  “Jaymes was my husband.  This was his home before the virus killed all the adults.”  She laughs and says “He always invited me over, but I would never come.  My parents were afraid of what his dad might do if he was in a mood.  Horrible man.”  She sighed then said “Jaymes was nothing like his dad.  Jaymes was a romantic.  Now he’s dead and I’ll never see him again!”  she started to sob at this last bit, so I reached into a pocket of my robe and got her some food and I wiped her tears away with a hanging bit of the robe sleeve.

I listened to her.  It sounded like she’d just been waiting for someone to tell all this stuff to.  “Once when we were in school, Jaymes put a rose in my locker.  Well, nobody had the combination but me and my boyfriend at the time, so when my boyfriend said he didn’t give me the rose, I threw it away.  I didn’t want him thinking I was interested in other guys.”  She stops to take a bite of food, then says “My best friend told me later than Jaymes had asked around and paid thirty dollars for the combination to my locker.  That must have hurt so much when I threw the rose away.” She said as I thought to myself that it was fifty, not thirty.

I’m sorry about your husband.”  I said.  “I think that after the virus, none of us should ever have to suffer the loss of a loved one again.” I say, then causally throw in, “You’re Trudy of the Mallrats, aren’t you?  The Supreme Mother?”

She shot an angry glare in my direction.  “I AM NOT THE SUPREME MOTHER!”  she yelled.  “No one—NO ONE, is going to make me take that name EVER again.”  She breaks her gaze to stare at the ground.

“I…I’m sorry ma’am.  Please forgive me if I’ve opened old wounds for you.”  I say, immediately sorry for calling her supreme mother.  I should have known better than that.  She probably still got that battle raging inside her at the time.

“Call me Trudy, and it’s alright.  I’m just having regrets, and the supreme mother is one of them.” She said.  “The last few months of Jaymes’ life were tense because during the second occupation, I became supreme mother again and did cruel and horrible things to him.  When the chosen were again defeated, I couldn’t shed the skin of supreme mother easily and I said some horrible things to him I wish I could take back.”  She then hugged her arms to herself and let her head fall back against the post on my old front porch and said “It took our daughter’s death to bring out Trudy again.”

I sighed and said “Well then, perhaps not everything about Li’s death was bad, if it helped you find your way back to Jaymes.”  Right away I caught and mentally kicked myself for the slip up I just made.

“How did you know her name?”  Trudy asked, watching me in a way I had taught her to watch things and people to learn everything you could from them, the way they acted and moved.  She’s very perceptive…I couldn’t believe I’d made such an error.

“I’ve…I’ve um, had dealings with the Mallrats before, and you know how Jaymes was, always through the mall with one of the babies.”  I said to which Trudy, still watching me like a hawk said “Right.”

“So tell me, where are the other Mallrats at Trudy?”  I asked her, hoping to get her away from thinking about how I knew our daughters name.  Besides, I really want to know where they are…and, for that matter, why Trudy is out here all alone, with not even Brady to keep her company.  Then my fears start in again over the children.

"Well, as I told you, Jaymes is dead"  She says, pausing to look again at the sign that Uncle Zack and Aunt Ruby gave to us when mom and dad first bought this house.

"Jaymes is dead."  She continues, "Lex and Tai-San took Antonio and Zan and they left for Eagle Mountain.  May ran for some of her old haunts from when she was an outcast.  Cloe went with Salene and Ryan and Ryan jr. off to the ranges"  Trudy says, stopping to breathe.  "Patsy went with Moz with the Technos when they left.  Ebony left to take her spot with the Eco Tribe.  The rest just scattered."  She says, then completely stops speaking.

"Trudy?"  I say, trying to get her to talk more, but she has sank into her depression, even though she's still watching me.  No doubt she's still on how I knew Li's name.

"Will you turn that thing off so I can hear a real voice?"  She asks, pointing at my neck to where the the voice modifier is.  Her eyes are on me, silently begging for comfort.

I reach up to turn it off, out of instinct to do what will make my wife happy, but I stop myself.  "I can't.  I'm mute without it."  I say.  "Somehow this thing allows me to talk."

Trudy looks at me, openly disbelieving me.  "Sure you are."  She says.  "You're one of their spies, aren't you!?!"  When I ask her who's spies she means, she says "Zoot!  Zoot and his bitch queen!  YOU'RE THEIR SPY!"  She says, throwing the wooden sign off to the side in anger.

Hearing their names makes me angry and I snap at her.  "I am no agent of Martin and the betrayer!"  I breathe heavy and look at her.  "I am my own man!  I am the legacy!  I am the spirit of brothers and fathers and friends and husbands betrayed!"  I scream.  Then I say to her.  "I hold no special place in my heart for Zoot or for Amber."

Trudy is taken back by my sudden, loud outburst.  "I'm so sorry.  Like I said, I don't know who I can trust anymore.  I think Bray is dead....and Amber was my best friend."

That news totally shocked me.  "Bray...he's dead swe...Trudy?"  I shake my head.  "That can't be right.  Bray is far too strong, too wise, too good a leader.  He's fine."

I don't give her the chance to focus on anything.  "Trudy?  If you're here, where are your children?"  I ask her, heart finally giving in to the panging desire to find out what happened to my babies.

"The will of Zoot and Amber watch my children now."  She says.  "I am allowed to see them for only two hours a day.  Ghany and Fire are in Zoot's 'Nursery', where he controls what they eat, what they do, and who they see."  Then she sighs.  "Brady spends her days in 'Re-education'.  Zoot has decided that his daughter is now old enough to learn about Power and Chaos.  He even told her that he's her father."  She closes her eyes as new tears form in her eyes.  "I hear her at night.  Screaming for Jaymes.  She's terrified since she found out that the man she fears most in the world is her father.  She doesn't even call Jaymes daddy anymore, because everytime she'd scream for daddy, Zoot would come to her and fill her head with his lies and garbage."  She takes a deep breath and says "Amber just sits by and smiles."  Then she adds "Last week, Brady begged Amber to bring back Eagle.  Amber was holding her at the time.  She just let go of Brady and let her fall to the floor.  She sprained her ankle.  Zoot won't even let her get it fixed.  Told her she'd have to learn that stupid people have to suffer."

I stand straight up.  "Take me to where they are."  I order her.  I think to myself about all the ways I will visit Brady's pain back onto Zoot.  I walk in the direction of the mall with a determined stride.

Trudy runs in front of me and puts her hands on my chest, and says something that doesn't surprise me, it just shows me what a smart wife I have.  She says "Jaymes, stop!  You can't do anything right now."

I stop for her, but I continue to try and lie to her.  "My name isn't Jaymes.  You said he was dead.  My name is Legacy."  I have my hands and remove her's gently from my chest.

"Please."  She says.  "You know our dead daughter's name, you almost called me sweetie, and when you heard what they're doing to Brady you nearly ran to get yourself killed for her.  My husband has had many names in his life.  Now, turn that thing off and let me hear you tell me everything is going to be okay."

I do turn off the device, but what I say to her is not what she wants to hear.  "It will never  be alright again my love."  Then I paraphrase something that Jaffa once said.  "The world now belongs to Zoot."  Then I finally let my fears out as I break down into her waiting arms.

"I thought he'd kill them...our little miracles...I thought he would kill them."  I say, burying my head against her neck and letting my emotions flow.

Trudy pulls the mask off my face and she kisses me.  "No darling, he hasn't...and he won't as long as he gets what he wants."  She says, looking again at the ground and kicking the dirt.

This reaction causes me to be worried and I get on my knees and look up into her eyes, holding her hands tightly in mine.  "Baby?  Trudy tell me what he's trying to make you do."  I say, seeing then a look of dread on her face.

"What else would Zoot and his chosen guards want me for?"  Trudy asks, half sad and half angry.  "I'm not good for anything else.  If it weren't for Brady, I'd be worthless to everyone."

I close my eyes, knowing now what she's trying to say to me, but she speaks again before I get the chance to.  "I'd be the third most powerful person in the new order.  Answering only to Zoot, controlling his armies, practically doing the day to day running of the city.  I'd be sort of the city leader, but without the power to do anything useful."

I hold the side of her face and start to speak, but her eyes dart sideways and she pulls the cover back over my face.  I turn to see guards with the fist of the chosen on their foreheads.  Trudy holds her hand to my chest and says "Don't forget me.  NOW RUN!"

I turn to leave, then after a few steps I turn around and see her being dragged away and three guards coming in my direction.  As she struggles against them, she screams at me "LEX, ARE YOU CRAZY!  RUN!"

I didn't learn until much later, but when she called me Lex, she saved our children's live's.

Thus ends the story of how the long twilight of my life gave way to total darkness.

About a month after my encounter with Trudy, the smoke began to rise.  A warning and a message from Zoot.  He was destroying the old city to remake it in his image as he saw fit, and all who opposed him would be consumed by the same flames with destroyed the city.  A city I wouldn't see again for nearly twenty years.

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