Chapter 1—A World of Change

We’ve been fighting for an hour now.  “Why am I in a bad mood?  I’m in a bad mood because today is my children’s birthday, and in the last raid they almost died!”  Ebony looks at me and says “The spy said they were fine!”  “Ebony, I haven’t seen my children for a year now.  You haven’t seen your daughter either.  I’d think you’d be a little more sensitive about this.”  I yell.  “I don’t have time to be sensitive Jaymes, and you just remember, I didn’t ask you to come with me.  You decided to after Trudy divorced you, and Bray kicked us out of the mall.” Ebony screams. I respond “Just because I joined this little venture of yours doesn’t mean I don’t care about my children’s welfare.”  Ebony softens a little and says “When we raid the mall the next time, do you want to try to get Ghany and Li-Li out?”  I glare at Ebony and say “NO! Those children are to remain safe or I swear to you I will make you beg me to kill you before I actually do it!”

Ebony remains quiet for a long time and I hear her fall into the pattern of breathing she takes when she falls asleep.  I’m not tired.  I wrap my arm around her and I think about how we got here from there.  A little over a year now, one of my children, a baby girl named Fire, was stillborn to my former wife Trudy and I.  At the same time, a little daughter was born to Ebony and Bray.  Ebony tried to pass the baby off as mine and gave the baby to Trudy and I to raise, for reasons that were, at the time, unknown.  For a number of months we were able to keep the secret that I saw in Ebony’s face, that the girl was not really mine, but Ebony and I never told.  Then one day, a slip up was made during a conversation and soon all the Mallrats knew.  Oh how Bray raged against us all.  Nearly killed me, and divorced Ebony on the spot.  Trudy didn’t even try to understand and kicked me out.  A few days later she divorced me, and when that happened, Bray and Trudy gained support and the combined tribe, even my old friend Ticia, voted Ebony and I out.  I was given enough time to say goodbye to my children.  “Where are you going daddy?”  Brady asked me.  I look at Trudy, who has a hard look on her face like she doesn’t want me touching her little girl, even though I’ve been her father for years.  “I have to go away Brady.  Daddy kept bad secrets from everyone and they don’t want him here anymore.”  “Mommy.” Brady says “You don’t love daddy anymore?”  Trudy looks at me, then Brady as a single tear falls down her face.  “Of course I do baby, but daddy has to go away.”  Brady still keeps it going.  “For how long mommy?”  “A long time sweetie.”  Before I leave with all my belongings packed I say to Trudy.  “Just once more, so I don’t forget what it sounded like, call me darling, tell me you love me.”  Reluctantly, she walks to me and puts her forehead on my own and whispers “I love you my darling.”  I say to her “I love you too wife.”  Then, she says something that used to be a joke to us, but now, it’s a painful stab in my heart.  My world, my Trudy whispers, “I’m not your wife.”

As I walk out the door Brady starts crying and runs after me.  “DADDY!  PLEASE DON’T GO. “ she screams loudly.  I pick her up and ask Trudy, who’s standing in the doorway of our old room “Would you mind if I spent a few minutes?”  she shakes her head telling me to go ahead.  I walk with little Brady, still crying and screaming to the café where most of the tribe is sitting and talking.  “Quiet baby, there’s people around, you need to be quiet, so they can talk.”  Everyone is staring at me, most of them angry.  Quieter, but still loud, Brady asks “Why do you have to go away daddy?  I don’t want you to go.”  “I don’t want to go either honey, but everyone told me I have to.”  Brady climbs up on the table and says to everyone “Why are you making my daddy leave!”  I wrap her in my arms and I hug her and say “don’t yell baby.”  She screams again “No Daddy, they shouldn’t make you leave!”  She gets down and walks over to Bray “You’re leader uncle Bray, make them let daddy stay.”  It breaks my heart to see this.  My little daughter is trying to get help to keep me here from the man who threw me out.  I say “I’m sorry about this everybody, she just found out.”  Tai-San picks her up and says to her “Brady sweetie, this will hurt you for a long time…as it hurts us too, sometimes in life we must do things that hurt us and put on a brave face to accept them.  Do you understand that sweetie?”  Brady shakes her head no.  I say to my little daughter “Brady, you need to come on so we can get you back to mommy now.”  She’s begging her uncle Bray to let her daddy stay when I grab her and pick her up.  As I’m about to turn to take her back, Brady screams “I HATE YOU UNCLE BRAY!”  I stop and I put her down “Brady!, you walk over there and tell uncle Bray you’re sorry.” She does, then comes back over to me.  I put down my pack and I sit in the floor to get a better view of her and I say “Brady sweetie, we can’t hate anyone…even when they do things we don’t understand or don’t like.  Understand?”  “Yes daddy.”  I take her back to Trudy’s room.  “I heard her from here.”  She says.  “I tried to calm her down.” I say, then under my breath I say “At least someone’s sad I’m leaving.”  As I hand her back to Trudy I say to Brady “You watch after mommy and your brother and sister, okay?”  I hold my son and little daughter in my arms one last time and I say “I’m glad you’ll never get to know me…I’d only hurt you too.”

For days I walk along.  Until I come to and I stay with the Eco tribe.  Amber contacted them and told them if they didn’t see me in a couple of weeks to find me.  I wonder though, why she voted me out.  Pride sits the night away with me talking about everything that happened.  Raven is off somewhere, so Pride is sort of the man around here for a while.  “Eagle wanted you to know that what she’s doing will help you Jaymes.  Eagle wishes Wolf to know she remembers her promise, whatever that means.”  “Before your time, Pride.”  I tell him.  “Did Eagle visit here herself, or send a messenger?”  Pride laughs and says “She told me that would be the first thing you asked.  She came herself, and she said she’d be back in eight days if you wanted to wait around for her.”

I agree to spend these days with them and I pitch myself into my work.  It feels good to be out here again working with good friend and living a simple life, the simple life Eagle created for us.  I count the days till her arrival.  I could certainly use her council right now.  What am I to do.  The family I always wanted is gone, cut off from be by a foolish mistake and a scheming piece of trash with long braided hair and a skill for lies and cheating to achieve her ends.  She disappeared after Bray kicked us out, but I knew one day I’d find her again.  It’s always been that way.

On the afternoon of day eight, Eagle arrives as promised and shows herself into the guest tent that they set up for me.  I’m laying in mediation with my eyes closed and barely hear her enter.  “Do you need me for something?” I ask.  Eagles voice responds, “I don’t, but I have someone here who may.”  “Eagle!” I say as I open my eyes to see her standing there with my sweet Lianla in her arms.  “Oh Eagle.  Thank you so much.”  She hands my daughter to me and says “I asked Trudy if I could take her on a little adventure.  I thought you’d like to see them, I wish I could have brought them all.”  I thank Eagle for bringing me my daughter.  “I may try to sneak in and see Ghany soon.” I tell Amber.  “Not a good idea Jaymes.  Bray has tripled security at the mall and I believe his exact words to the troops were “I don’t care if Jaymes and Zoot walk in together…you kill Jaymes first!”  “Trudy doesn’t know?”  “Oh no!  she has no idea.  She spits venom at the mention of your name, throws things at old pictures of you, she burnt what was left of your clothes…and then she gets angry if one of us mention letting you see the babies.”  I look up at the top of the tent and say “Oh man!  I’m never gonna get it back.”  Amber says “give it time Jaymes, they’ll cool down and you can try to come back in again.”  I look at her and I say “No, not that…my favorite shirt…I left it behind.”  Amber bursts into laughter at this and nearly doubles over.  “How can you have such a sense of humor about all this Wolf?”  “It’s either this, or jump off a bridge Eagle…and I can’t jump yet.  I still need answers.  “I hope you find them Wolf.” She says as she takes my baby back and leaves.

Chapter 2—The Day That Changed It All

 After Amber left to take my little daughter back to the mall and to her mother, I start missing my family all the more.  So much so that I ignore Amber’s warning about letting Bray see me.  I first go to scrounge around for food, and then I decide to see if I can make my way into the mall without being noticed.  When I get to the mall the entire tribe is outside the mall, the men and the women without babies are pitching in to fix some things.  Looks like they’re welding bars over the windows and reinforcing the doors.  I move up, to within a few feet of the women and I see Trudy there with Brady and Ghany and Lianla.  I watch carefully to see how my children are, and at the same time to see if I’m noticed, nobody sees me for a while, then Brady gets out of Trudy’s arms and catches sight of me, and screams “Daddy’s home!”  I jump up and I see Lex and Bray drop their tools and pick up metal poles and start running at me.  To everyone’s surprise, including my own, I allow myself to do a stupid thing, I actually run towards them far enough to kiss my son, daughter, and stepdaughter Brady on their foreheads and say I love them and then I run.  I turn back to see Ticia taking care of the whole tribes babies and everyone else running at me.

 We reach the tree line, but they still don’t stop chasing me.  I look back again to see Bray and Trudy as the closest to me.  As we run through the woods, I feel a hand touch me, and I grab a small tree and swing around to kick the attacker and knock them down.  I start bolting again and I turn to see the tribe stopped and Trudy on the ground.  I pull my swords, which are all the weapons I carry anymore and I run back to her.  “Everyone move back!  I’m going to look after the mother of my children.”  Lex still runs and tackles me.  “You don’t have the right!” he screams, then says “Those aren’t your babies anymore!  They’re Mallrats…our babies!”  Several shocked looks from the tribe, but none say he’s wrong, and I feel the light of my soul going dim.

 Its that very moment that the instrument of my change was found, as a sound like a hundred screaming birds was heard and Ebony, in her all her glory returned with her new tribe, brand new.  The New Locos.  Nearly fifty of them to the Mallrats ten.  Ebony looks to her old tribe and says “Bray, you’re not attacking my friend are you?”  “Stay out of this Ebony, unless you want some too.”  Bray says.  “Oh Bray, always the optimist and the wounded soldier.  You have a problem.  These people are old locos and chosen.” Ebony says sarcastically.  “We’ve defeated both before.” Lex adds to the conversation as everyone but I look at Ebony.  I am looking over Trudy.  “Ah, yes Lex, but those Locos and Chosen weren’t training on skills learned from former Jaikarim and Infinity, were they?”  The Mallrats give a collective gasp as Trudy starts to wake up.  “I’m sorry Trudy, I thought you were Bray.”  I say.  She doesn’t make a sound as she moves quickly and kicks me in the ribs, breaking one I was to find out.  I stumble off into the middle of the tribes, New Locos on one side, Mallrats on the other, and not able to move.  I lay in pain and I say “Bray?  Trudy?  Tai-San?  I’m in pain.  Help.”  They don’t move.  I turn to look the other way and say “Can I join?”  Ebony snaps and points and three of her people pick me up and help me walk.  I stop them and I turn to the Mallrats.  Who are all standing there, including Trudy.  I hobble over and I look directly at my ex-wife as I say to the entire tribe, “You’ve taken my home, you’ve taken my wife, you’ve taken my children.  All Mallrats bear witness that today begins the flood…the flood of death that none of you will escape.”  I reach and pick up mud from the ground and hold my hand up and smear the mud to cover the Mallrat symbol on my hand.  “From now on, I kill any Mallrat I see.”  They are all stunned and don’t move as I walk to Trudy with mud on my fingertips and I write on her forehead ‘You last’.

 Ebony took me back to her base of operations and had her people to check me over and patch me up, then when I’m given the green light by her people, she sends them away.  “What’s happened to you Jaymes?, I didn’t think I’d ever hear you make a threat against Trudy.”  I look to Ebony and I say “Lex told me that my children are not my own anymore Ebony.  That I have no right to see them anymore because I don’t wear that symbol on my hand.  I’ll be damned if I’m going to let anyone tell me I can see my babies.”  Ebony listens to my angry ranting with the calm that my Trudy would once listen to me cry about the past.  The same Trudy that let me down, and stole my children.  When I stop my ranting, Ebony says “You can feed on revenge with the new Locos.  The Mallrats have stolen my life too.”  “May I have a few days to make my decision Ebony?”  she places her hand on my back and rubs it and says “Of course Jaymes.  We’ll be here if you want us.  I only ask one favor.”  “anything.” I say to her.  she replies “If you decide against joining, I ask you, for the love we once shared, don’t tell the Mallrats where I am.  I’ve been terrorizing them for a while now.”  I go wide eyed at this “WHAT!  Are you making sure the children are safe?”  Ebony looks at me and says “Of course I am.  I have a daughter there too remember.”  I nod to her and I say I’m going to show myself out.  I have a few supplies to pick up from the Eco’s.  She says goodbye then comes and hugs me.  “At least now we both have one friend to help us through the hurt.”  I push her away as she tries to kiss me.  “Never again.”  I tell her.  I hurt her feelings by doing this.  Well, it was as hard for me to do as it was for her to take.  I want her so much right now, but its loneliness for my sweet Trudy that bring this on.  The mistake of replacing Ebony for Trudy is what brought this on in the first place.

 Raven is there to greet me when I come back to the eco camp.  “Wolf.  Nice to see you again.  I’m sorry for your loss old friend.  Pride and Eagle told me.”  I nod.  “I’m just here to pick up a few things if that’s okay.  “Your things are in Eagle’s room Wolf, go on up and get them if you wish.”  I nod again and I go climb to Eagle’s room.  When I enter, Eagle says “So you’re working with Ebony.  Isn’t being with Ebony what started all this in the first place?”  I ask where my things are.  “Sit with me and talk first Wolf.”  I tell her I don’t have time.  “have to go plot your retaliation with Ebony and her new Locos, is that it?”  I respond “Yes Eagle, that’s it exactly.”  She scoffs at me and says “You and your wife have one fight and you run off and make empty threats to kill us all?”  I hold her hand as I say “The threat was NOT empty, Eagle.  When I am ready with the new Locos, I will kill anyone who wears this symbol on their hand.”  She doesn’t let any fear show, then I say “I want you to remember something Eagle…I’m not Wolf anymore, and I never promised to protect Amber.  If you want to save yourself, clean that thing off your hand and stay here.”  Amber is completely shocked at my saying this.  “You’d just walk up and kill Trudy?”  “No, of course not…after everything she’s done for me, you should know better.  First I’ll make her insane, take everything from her, then I’ll kill her.”  Amber moves from shocked to completely horrified.  “What about the children Wolf, will you kill them too?”  “Not mine, and not Ebony’s.”  Amber comes over and wraps her arms around me and says “I’m trying to help Wolf, what are you doing, acting like this?”  I shove her away from me and I say “Ever since the day you Mallrats picked me up on that beach when I was in my coma, I’ve lost control of my own fate, and ever since I woke up and found Trudy again and married her, I’m gone weak.  What I’m doing is taking control of my own fate, and destroying the weakness.”  Amber, almost begging me says “Wolf, you haven’t talked like this since I first found you.  You need help.  If you won’t let the Mallrats help, if you won’t even let Amber help, please remember our bonds and let Eagle help you.”  “I don’t want Eagle’s help anymore.  Ebony will do for me what I need.”

 I walk with my supplies, trading what I don’t want, and when I’ve got rid of it all I walk the trip to my daughter’s grave.  There, intact and with fresh flowers placed on it, is the hole we placed my little girl in.  I look at the wood cross we formed and carved a symbol for fire, her name, into it.  I wallow in silent regrets at the situation, but my rage keeps me together.  Rage and hate, those are my emotions now.  While I sit there, wondering what little Fire would have done with her life, little arms wrap around me and a little voice whispers to me “Hi daddy.”  Little Brady moves around me and sits down in front of me.  Whispering myself I ask her “Who’s with you baby?”, and she whispers back “Mommy brought me.  She said we had to come here.”  I tell Brady to go play, I want to have a talk with her mother.  She runs off to pick flowers.

 I get up and see Trudy standing there a respectable distance from me.  “Where are my children?”  she says “Well, you see Brady…”  I interrupt her and say “I didn’t ask about Zoot’s spawn, I asked about MY babies.”  “They’re at the mall, Salene and May are watching them.”  I look at her, face devoid of feeling and say “Its dangerous for a defenseless Mallrat to be out on her own, don’t you think?  All alone this far out, no one to hear the screams of a single mother as she died…very dangerous.”  I place a hand on my sword and Trudy becomes visibly nervous.  I stare blankly at her and say “I have an oath to my brother yet to fulfill.  I promised him at his grave that I’d sprinkle the blood of the trash that killed him on his grave.  Now that the guardian is dead, that only leaves one.”  I turn when I hear Brady laugh at something and I say to Trudy, “Or two.”  Trudy takes a defensive position and says “You wouldn’t kill her, you love her too much, and you won’t kill me for the same reason.”  “I wouldn’t count on anyone to protect you.”  I say, then, looking at Fire’s grave I say “She’s your daughter too, I’ll leave you to pay your respects.”  I leave quickly, to keep Brady from seeing me.

Chapter 3—Cultivating Hate

 “He said he’d kill everyone.  Even the children.”  Amber says in the meeting she asked for.  “I’ve not seen him close to this angry since the first Ghany died.”  Lex speaks up “He loves children too much.  He’d never kill one.”  “I wouldn’t be so sure.”  Trudy says.  “When I saw him at our daughter’s grave, he was out of it.  He was talking about killing Brady just as calm as you’d talk about the weather.  I’ve never been scared of him until now.”  Ticia speaks up and says “He used to be very violent.  He would lash out for any reason at all, until he found some sort of peace during the time we spent together.  I don’t know if he’d kill a child, but if he blames us all for what’s going on, then you can bet we should be careful.”  Tai-San says “He’s not a violent person now.  The most violent thing he’s done is kill Baval, and that was to protect the tribe.”

 May speaks up and says “If he and Ebony are working together and decide to attack here at the mall, how to we keep him out?”  Bray says “They can’t get in, the mall is too protected.”  There are murmurs and KC says “Jaymes did most of that himself, he can get in if he wants to, he has to have a way in.”  many of the tribe nod at this, and Bray says “We need to double the guard duty shifts.  Two of us each shift.”

 Amber is troubled and Trudy asks “What is it?”  Amber looks sad and says “I was remembering something he said.  I asked Wolf if he’d really kill the children.  He said not his and not Ebony’s.  I was wondering…what about Brady?  She isn’t his child, not really.”  Trudy shudders and says “He wouldn’t.  He loves her so much.”  Salene bounces little Ryan on her knee and says “He’s not like he used to be.”

 “I think we have to make a first strike against them.”  Bray says.  “They’re not completely organized yet.  They are vulnerable right now and they can be defeated.”  Lex says “We don’t have enough people for that, Bray.  Even if they aren’t organized, we’d still get defeated.”

 Trudy asks the question that everyone wants to avoid, but can’t really.  “When we do make our move, do we go in to kill, or do we try to capture Jaymes and Ebony?  What we intend to do really determines how we handle the situation, right?”  Tai-San says “We’ve given him enough chances haven’t we?  As much as I hate to say it, I think for the good of the tribe, we have to eliminate he and Ebony.  They pose a constant threat to us.  Ebony has always been Ebony and Jaymes is still mostly an unknown.  We really don’t know anything about him.”  Trudy says “He’s helped us all so much though, don’t we owe it to him to let him stay alive, banish him maybe?”  Tai-San says “look at the way he snuck up to us the other day.  He was within feet of us and we didn’t even know it.  He can do that again, and if he’s in a mood, he could be dangerous to us that way.”  Trudy says “I don’t think we need to kill him.”

 Ebony comes to my room and says “Aren’t you tired yet Jaymes.  You were up all night and here it is mid afternoon and you still haven’t slept.”  I look at her and say “I have things to do if we’re to take the city from the Mallrats.  I will sleep when the planning is done.  She walks over to my table beside my bed and pours a drink for us.  “Here, have some water.”  We drink and she says “They’ve taken everything from us Jaymes, they need to pay for that.”  “Yes Ebony, they do and they will.  I will make them pay.”  Ebony looks deep into my eyes and says, “No Jaymes…we will make them pay together.”  Talking to Ebony has calmed my mind, so I say I think I will go to bed.  She nods and shows herself out.

 I fall asleep and I dream of blood.  Blood flowing from the Mallrats over my hands and onto the ground.  Standing triumphant over their bodies and taking back my life from them.  I dream of holding Trudy’s lifeless body and howling in victory.  My heart beats fast and I breath hard with the excitement.  I wake up to Ebony putting me in bed.  “Ebony, I was just in bed, just dreaming.”  “You fell out of bed Jaymes.” She says.  As I fall back to sleep, I think I hear Ebony say “Increase it next time, that can’t happen again.”  My arm is a little sore.  Must have fallen on it.

 I’m planning in my dream, how they’ll all die.  They took my babies from me, I’ll make them pay.  Trudy.  Evil Trudy, throws me out.  “I did it for you Trudy.  How can you hate me?”  I’ll kill you last, make you watch them all die.  You’ll see then Trudy.  I think the last person you’ll watch die is the superman Bray, the one you really wanted.  Never loved me, used me to make him jealous.

 I wake and I walk through the Locos base, looking at the guards stand at attention, looking out a window as others train hard.  I find Ebony at the desk in her room.  “Our spy in the Mallrats tells us that they are almost ready to go to ground.  We have them scared Jaymes.”  I smile at this.  “The time is nearly here Ebony.  We’ll have our revenge against them.”  “We’ll have everything we deserve.” She says.  “I wish I could go out Ebony.” I tell her.  “Now’s not the time Jaymes.  We aren’t ready, if they find us out they could capture us, you know that.”  I tell her yes, but that doesn’t help me from going stir crazy.  “Our plans require it though Jaymes.  You know that.  Just a little while longer.”  I nod.  Ebony says “You know I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t think it was needed, don’t you my love?”  I reply, “Yes Ebony, you have the best interest at heart.”

 Ebony and I go over tactics for the raid, and we make the plans and get it ready.  She pours us a drink and we celebrate the planning phase of the new raid.  I start to nod off and Ebony says “Didn’t you sleep well earlier?”  I tell her I did.  I had happy dreams, but I am still tired.  “What did you dream?” Trudy asks.  I smile an evil grin and say “Trudy’s blood on my hands as I pulled her heart from her chest…and the song of her screams as she died”  Ebony smiles and says “Soon love.  Soon you will hear her sing.”  I forget myself and I pull Ebony close to me and I kiss her repeatedly and we move to her bed.  We make love as my mind is filled with the screams of my Trudy and her children as slowly and gleefully slaughter her.

 I wake up feeling less rage.  My emotions have been in turmoil ever since I’ve been away with her.  I don’t understand it.  Sometimes I wake up ready to kill, then sometimes I wake up full of regrets.  My arm is sore again.  Why is that.  I haven’t done anything to hurt it and the headache is back again.  I fell asleep in Ebony’s bed I notice, and I think about what happened earlier.  I fell asleep with her, making love to her while dreaming of all the ways I’d hurt them all, especially Trudy.  “So strange, I’m so hurt over these people I love.  But they did kick me out, and Ebony says they deserve it and I guess she’s right about it.  The New Locos must be victorious against the Mallrats that seek to hold us back.  After all, didn’t Trudy kick me out and keep me from seeing my children?

I walk to the food service area and I get a meal.  I hear several whispers, one catches my attention.  “Don’t know why he’s so important, she’s had us at it for years, now he’s supposed to be king?”  What is it that I’m missing?

 I train for most of the day on my new moves, stopping only to drink water every now and then.  When I finish up, I decide to go lay down.  Nothing else to do these days, waiting on Ebony to get the order to attack.  I go to meet with Ebony, she asked me to find her after I trained on my new skills and weapons.  “You must be thirsty, here, have a drink Jaymes.” She says when I sit down.  “I’m fine, thank you Ebony.”  She asks again for me to take a drink.  “Anymore water and I’ll be a swimming pool Ebony, I’m fine.”  “Okay Jaymes, fine.”  Then she asks if I have anymore ideas about our revenge on the Mallrats.  I think, and then I arrive at a stroke of genius.  “I have an idea Ebony…it will be wonderful.”  She gets a look of evil glee in her eyes and asks “What is it?”  with my eyes wide and my breathing heavy I say “I want to bring back an old friend!  I want to hurt Trudy in the worst way possible.”  Ebony, interested more says “How?”  “I want to make her back into The Supreme Mother.”  “That’s been done Jaymes.  She’ll never go back into that life again.”  I smile as I say “She has three little reasons to see the light…and if she wants to keep them alive, she’ll do as she’s told.”  “You’d kill your children for this Jaymes?” Ebony asks.  “I would do anything just for the joy of watching Trudy hurt.”

Chapter 4—Finding The Key

 Ebony agrees to let me try my plan to raise The Supreme Mother from the depths of Trudy.  Oh how she will resist me.  How she will try and stop it from happening.  I close my eyes and I breath in happily at the thought.  The pain she will have from all her evil coming back.  She will hurt so much.  Her pain will fill my heart and make me warm.

 “I come unarmed and in peace Lex.  I want to see Trudy, please.”  I say, barely able to keep my elation down.  “Doesn’t want to talk to you.” Lex says.  “Please, tell her it’s her friend from school that wants to talk to her, not her husband who did horrible things.”  After a long discussion I’m relieved that Trudy comes out to talk.  To my happiness, she brings Lianla with her.  Good, that keeps us from having to send someone back for one of her children.  As we walk, I put on my best sorrow face.  “I’ve been saying and doing some bad things to you Trudy.”  She responds “What brought on this much of a change in you Jaymes?  You were so caring, now you say you’d rather kill us all.”  “I was angry Trudy, that was all.”  I have a hard time being sincere with her, because every time I look at her, all I see is a filthy Mallrat I want to make suffer.  “Would you really hurt the children Jaymes?” She asks me.  “Of course I wouldn’t, I was just acting out in my pain wife.”  Wife!  The word leaves a nasty taste in my mouth as I say it.  How I ever married this undesirable cow is beyond me.  “May I hold the baby Trudy?”  she is reluctant, but she lets me hold my daughter.  I bounce the baby and I say “There now little Li-Li.  The future has great things in store for us, doesn’t it?”  Yes, I think to myself, a future where your trash mother is dead and you are raised as a slave.  God Ebony, where are your people…I hate talking to this Mallrat waste.  “Have you missed your daddy Li-Li?”  I ask.  Cause your daddy hasn’t missed you, I think

 Finally, as we reach the mid city area, Ebony’s people jump out and grab her.  I’m still holding Lianla and Trudy screams for help.  With euphoria in my heart I yell “Yes! Scream Trudy!  Yell to your hearts content.  No one will hear you.  Scream again Trudy, sing for me the melody of your suffering.”  I have to practically run to find Ebony when we get back.  Trudy screaming and crying the whole way.  The sweet music of her pain.  When I do find Ebony, I sweep all her papers off her table and I take her right there, even as the guards and a chained up Trudy watch, I have this moment with Ebony, so much is my joy at the suffering.  Trudy is crying and asks “Why are you doing this Jaymes.”  I look at her so lovingly and I walk to her, wrap my arms around her and walk around.  I kiss her neck over and over as I say “Just so I can see you hurt.”

 I personally take Trudy, leading her like a dog on a chain, even to the point of making her walk on all fours for my own amusement, to the prison room we set up for her, all the while telling Lianla “This is how we treat trash like you Mallrats baby.” And “See baby, this is what your mother is, nothing more than a common animal.”  As we walk, I stop this thing on my chain.  “Bark like the animal you are.”  When she doesn’t, I hold the baby near a candle.  “Bark, or we’ll watch and listen as this thing slowly burns to death.”  Crying all the more, warming my heart, Trudy barks like a dog, and not the small “yip” sound most people would make, but a full growling, snarling bark as she turns her face up at me.  I say “You’re trying to intimidate me…how very charming…animal.”

 I let Trudy sit for a week.  I wouldn’t have even fed her if it hadn’t been that I wanted the bliss of seeing her sitting in her own waste.  I take Lianla with me to the room we’ve set up for her mother and I have the guards bring Trudy out.  “Strip her of her clothes.” I say, then quickly say “No, don’t…I don’t want to see that repulsive sight ever again.  I tell the guards I’ll be fine and send them away.  I point in the direction of the cage and say “Crawl.”  “What?” she says “Jaymes, don’t make me do this.”  I kick her rib cage, just where she kicked mine “I did not say you could speak beast.”  I look at Lianla in my arms and say “I hope someone has the dignity to kill you before you turn out like her Li-Li.”  Trudy almost speaks again, but doesn’t.  “Do you like your cage, animal?” I ask her evilly.  She doesn’t answer, and I say.  “Cry for me.  Please, cry tears of pain for me.”  She does start to tear up.  I walk into the cage and I lick the tears from her face.  “Your suffering tastes wonderful animal.” I say.  A few hours later I come in and say “I’m sorry Trudy.  I didn’t mean it.  They made me.  Come here.  I kiss her and slowly start to undress her.  Trudy gets in the mood despite her circumstances and we start to make love to each other.  “Something feels wrong” I say softly.  “What is it Jaymes?”  she asks just as tenderly.  She’s sitting on me and I punch her in the face until her nose bleeds.  As she’s crying and saying ‘Stop’ I start again and say “There, that’s better.”  Ebony, I notice is watching with a smile as I do my work on this dirty Mallrat.  As I gather the Mallrat child, I start to feel a headache come on again, and I almost drop this baby.  Ebony runs in with guards “Get the baby to room C”  I wake up in my room and Ebony asks if I’m alright.  “No, Ebony…one minute I was having absolute joy in what I was doing, then the next I started to have a headache and wonder where I was.  Did I pass out?”  Ebony says I did and she asks if I’d like to have some water.  I accept it and I start to go back to sleep.  I don’t remember ever being so tired.  Where is Trudy, why am I here with Ebony?  I see her talking to one of her lieutenants outside “We have to move soon.  It won’t last.”  “Yes Ebony.”

 I had the strangest dream while I was asleep, I dreamed that several people in lab coats were pumping me full of drugs and doing other things.  So strange.  I come from my bed ready for it.  I find Ebony and apologize for my moment of weakness.  “Its okay Jaymes, we all have them.  Are you ready to break Trudy?”  “Oh yes.  I’m more than ready for it.  It will be my honor to strip this Mallrat of her dignity.”

 I spend the next several weeks trying to break her, but she resists so well.  She didn’t even break when I killed our daughter and threw the body in with her and withheld her food for days.  Still, she didn’t break and she would not eat her baby.  Ebony suggested that it was time to eliminate her, but I was conflicted over this.  “Is that really necessary Ebony?  We can still break her.”  Ebony says I can try.

 I spend a few more weeks trying to break her, all the while the headache and the dream of the men in lab coats kept happening.  Finally, after the weeks, and the rage at not breaking Trudy, I make my decision.  I walk into the cage and I say “Will you not do this thing for us Supreme Mother?”  “I AM NOT THE SUPREME MOTHER!” Trudy screams.  I can’t take it anymore, and as Ebony watches, I kick and beat Trudy to death.

Chapter 5—The Situation is Not What It Seems

 I wake to find everyone gone, and I’m alone.  I wonder at where everyone is.  I try to leave my room and I find that I’ve been locked into my room.  “Let me out!” I yell, but there’s no answer.  “EBONY!” I scream.  Still no answer.

 I know there are people there, because I get food on a regular basis, but I never do find out who the person is, they never talk.  “EBONY, LET ME OUT!  WHAT HAVE I DONE?”  I yell.  Again though, I receive no answer.

 I think about the Mallrats, but for some reason, the rage I once felt for them is fading.  I don’t remember now why I hated Trudy so much I demeaned her and I killed her.  I don’t remember why I hated amber, and I can’t remember why I held Bray in such contempt.  Good people all.  I feel a sense of pain that I killed Trudy and my baby.  My wife and daughter.  Why did I kill them?  What was it that…they threw me out.  Trudy isn’t my wife, she divorced me…no, that’s not…my mind is so clouded.

 One day, I can’t say how long, because I lost track of time, I hear two muted voices talking.  “How long will we have to keep him in there?” one asks.  The other says “From what I’ve read it should wear off in a few more days, and he should be ready.”  I stare at the door.  Ready for what, I wonder.  What will wear off?  The headache is constant now, and I can barely move, my pain is so much, and I’ve been shaking uncontrollably for a while now.  I’m barely sleeping at all.  I still don’t know why I’ve had such an irrepressible urge to kill the Mallrats, they’re my family aren’t they?  Ah, so many clouds and confused emotions.

 Then one day, the door finally opens, and I walk out to find a figure in a hood covering the face pointing in a direction of travel.  I walk slowly, looking at signs of a battle and of lots of death.  I wonder why if there was a battle, I alone was spared.  I stop, but the figure urges me to continue walking.  When I finally go to the place the figure was pointing, I see the most disturbing sight I think I ever have.  I see the Mallrats there, all the Mallrats except Ebony.  Trudy is there, with four children.  Bray is there, Lex is there with Tai-San and Zan.  May, Alice, Salene, baby Ryan, Ticia, Amber, Jack, Ellie, and to my shock, I see Ryan, Danni, Dal, and Cloe.  The figure with the hood steps in front of me and pulls the hood back…Patsy.  I look at them all and the flood of emotion makes me fall to the floor.  “I’m dreaming again…you’re dead, Patsy, Cloe, Ryan Danni, Dal, you’re all dead.  Trudy, Li-Li…I killed you both.”  I’m confused and huddled in the floor.  Trudy comes to me and says “Its not a dream Jaymes.  We’re all alive and happy to see you again.”  She walks to me and says “Husband, I have someone who wants to meet you.”  Then she says “Fire, say hello to your daddy.”  I look up at her with anguish on my face and I say “But Fire’s dead…we…we…buried her on the hill beside Patsy and Cloe.”  Trudy sits beside me and says “But Patsy and Cloe are right here.”  I look up and I still can’t believe it.  My mind tells me they’re dead, but there they are.  And all the others I thought were dead as well.  “I remember you all dying.  Danni, Ryan.  You were killed in the battle with Moz.”  Patsy, you, you went crazy…killed Dal and Cloe.  I shake my head and my body convulses.  “What’s happening to me?”

 I can’t walk, so they make a stretcher and place me on it.  Bray and Lex carry me and everyone walks close in with me.  When we get back to the mall, they carry me to the café, and we sit.  “I don’t understand any of this.” I say.  Trudy says, “You’ve been missing since Fire was born Jaymes.  Nearly a year and a half.  Ebony kidnapped you and we haven’t seen you until today.”  I look confused.  “Why would she kidnap me?”  Jack steps up and says “Well, she had these people document everything pretty well.  It looks like she was trying to force you to love her again.  The paperwork says she’s making you hate us so that you’d love her more and it looks like she was actually using drugs and mind control of some sort to make you kill the Mallrats.”  Trudy has passed Fire to me and I’m hugging her so tight and just looking at her.  Trudy says “Do you know what happened to you?”  I’m crying and holding my baby close to me and I say “No…I don’t know.  Ebony did this?  None of the rage is real?”  Ellie walks up and starts to take Fire from me.  I grab a knife from the table, and don’t speak.  “Jaymes, she’s crying, she needs to be changed.” Ellie says.  Tai-San asks “Why did you threaten Ellie, Jaymes?”  I’m looking at my baby and I say “I have two sets of memories that are getting confused.  In one, I remember how you all saved me and how I love you.  In the other, I remember how some of you are dead and how when I look at you I know you all betrayed me.”  Ellie says “I’ll take care of her Jaymes.  I promise.”  With Trudy’s urging, I hand my baby, my little Fire, over to Ellie.  I stare after them until they disappear around the corner.

 In my mind I go over many of my memories, and finally I come to one I have to ask about.  “What about Precious?”  they all look at each other, and then Trudy asks “Who’s Precious, Jaymes?”  Ebony and Bray’s daughter, that she gave to us when…when Fire died.”  This gets several giggles.  Jack says “So that’s what that was about.  The ultimate sacrifice thing.”  Bray laughs and says “A baby with me.  She never could give it up.”  I ask Jack what he’s talking about.  He says “Ebony never had any babies.  She wrote herself two into the book though”  I look confused and he says “Well, we found this notebook, that outlined the plan in it.  She intended to brainwash you into thinking some of us were dead, the others had hurt you.  It says here that she decided to make you kill Trudy in the brainwashing because she knew if you thought she were alive, you’d probably try to visit her and learn the truth.  She even had a detailed story created to cover your real memories with the false one.  I’ve read it, it’s this weird mix of romance and pain and death.  Kind of messed up.”  He looks at the table, then back to me.  “She even created a back story for the time between you getting married and the time Fire was born.  She stretched the timeline out though.  She stretched it by 3 or 4 years.”  He reaches me a notebook from the table and I read the cover of the book.  “Project Future Imperfect—Jaymes Memory Replacement.”  I look at it.  “That’s right, we’ve only been married 3 years.”

 Confused, I ask “So how much of what I remember, really happened?”  It’s Trudy who tells me.  “Fire was born, but not stillborn like Ebony made you believe.  Your friend Ticia did arrive, though not in the way it was explained, There was never a tribe called Infinity, the Mallrats never scattered to escape them, you never slept with Ebony…at least that I’m aware, and of course, there never was a baby named Precious.”  I look at Trudy through pained eyes and low, broken sobs, I say “Little Precious? She can’t have been fake Trudy…she can’t have been.  I would hold her, I loved her.  She’d giggle when I poked at her little tummy.  That couldn’t have been false.”  Trudy holds her forehead to mine, and says “I’m so sorry darling, but it is.  She never existed.”  My tears begin again when Ellie brings back Fire and puts her in my arms, as I say out loud “The daughter I’ve grieved is alive, and the daughter I loved is dead.  Then I think to myself “dead daughter?…why is that so importa…Li-Li.”  Then out loud I say “Oh my god, where’s Lianla?  I want to see her, where is she?”  Trudy says “She’s sleeping Jaymes, you can see her later.”  I ignore her “Ellie, get her, I want to see her now.”  Ellie runs to get Li-Li as I say “Ebony…What did she do to me?”  Then I ask an important question.  “Where is Ebony?”  silence.  “Where is she?”  Cloe comes up to me and she says “We had to kill her in the raid that got you out.”  When Ellie returns with my Lianla, I pass Fire to Trudy and I break down all over again at the face of my perfect daughter there, alive.  I didn’t kill her.  She’s been safe all this time.  I say a silent thanks to god that this little miracle in my arms is safe.

 Everyone stays up long into the night, but finally everyone is exhausted from a long night.  I’ve fallen asleep at the table and when I wake up, I find that its dark, but Trudy is there, awake dutifully beside me.  “Where am I?  Ebony?  What is this?”  I wake up scared.  I hear Trudy say “Jaymes, you’re home.  Ebony isn’t here.”  I jump from my seat at the table, falling backwards and I scream.  “NO!  I killed you, filthy Mallrat.  You’re dead!” I run away.  Ryan, Lex and Bray catch me and restrain me as the others come from their rooms awakened from a deep sleep.  “Why did…why did I say that?”  Bray says “It was part of the conditioning, remember?”  Everyone has gathered around me and, Jack says, “I forgot to tell you earlier, but in the last notebook, there’s a letter addressed to you.  Looks like Ebony’s handwriting.”  I pick up the notebook and find the letter. It is indeed her writing.  I open it and Bray says “Everybody, lets go to bed.  He needs to do this himself.”  I stop everyone.  “No, I want everyone to hear this.”  Even as in my head, this little voice says “Yes, scurry off to your beds you vermin.”  As I open the letter and look at it, I say to them all “Its hard, you know.”  Alice asks “What is, Jaymes?”  I look up from the letter and say “Remembering in every detail, every emotion, the Infinity Tribe, Patsy’s horrible wedding, running in fear of what Patsy and the Infinity would do to my wife and children, sleeping with Ebony, getting her pregnant, getting Trudy pregnant, Cloe and Patsy dying, killing Moz…or maybe killing Moz, mourning the loss of our baby, seeing Ebony give her baby up to us, and then being betrayed by you all and the rage and the planning over how I’d kill you all.  It’s hard, knowing all these things…then also knowing that they never happened.”  Then as I look to the letter, I whisper “Oh Precious…I love you so much.”

Chapter 6—The Letter

 The entire tribe gathered around as I opened this letter addressed to me from Ebony which had been found in the back of a notebook used to document the brainwashing she had tried to do to me.  I sit for just a moment and stare at the letter, then I begin to read out loud for all to hear.

Dear Jaymes,
 If you are reading this letter, that must mean I’m dead and you probably know about the project as well.  Let me say first that I know you’ll never believe anything I say now, but I want to write you this letter to try and explain why I did to you what I did.  Please give me that last respect my love, on my death, to try and make some kind of amends to your soul, the soul I tried to take.

 My life before the virus was terrible, even though I tried to put on a brave face in front of people.  I told you all that before, but you already knew, didn’t you?  You thought you were being sneaky, but I noticed you, every few nights climbing that tree in behind my house and watching in my window.  I saw your face once, it was on your 19th visit, a chance glance as car headlights passed over your face.  Yes Jaymes, I was keeping count, because you always seemed to appear just when I needed you the most, my guardian angel in a black coat, that’s what I called you, you know.  You were my companion through pain.  Just looking out my window and seeing you there made the pain less.  You talked me down from so much violence against myself and against others Jaymes, even though we never spoke.  I would not even have lived to the virus times had it not been for our long talks, though we never met, did we?  You climbed your tree, and sat there, and I would hug my bear and silently tell you my troubles.  I felt warm and safe all the time you were there, and I felt dead when you’d leave.  I wish now, as I look back, that I’d have told you I knew what you were doing.  I wanted you so much, but I let my instinct to hurt people come out and stole Bray away from Trudy.

 When the virus hit us, I was lonelier than I’d ever been, like everyone was I suppose.  I looked for you.  For months, I searched everywhere for you.  Now that everything was gone, I wanted it to be Jaymes and Ebony, going where they pleased and taking life as it came.  I saw my chance to be happy, but you weren’t there to help me.  So it was that I came to Zoot for food and water.  As I’d look from the cage he placed me in, I’d look around and my last thought of the day was almost always ‘There are no trees…he can’t protect me anymore.’  Zoot broke my spirit and turned me from that little girl lost into the feared Loco Queen.  Still, with every raid, the small part of my innocence that was left, searched for you, longed to have you there, to tell me it was okay, to have you take away the hurt, but you never came, did you Jaymes?  No, you were lost.  The sweet keeper of my soul was gone and probably dead.

 Move forward a few years and imagine my amazement when I was walking the beach with my tribe and we turned an unconscious person laying near the water, and I saw, with a few more scars and bruises on him, my angel come back to me.  Over the next 5 months I surprised the tribe by taking almost exclusive care of you.  How could I not after the many night’s you looked after my welfare.  I had you there to tell my worries and pains to again.  Then, when you woke up and we began to spend time with each other, even though you didn’t know who I was.  It was like a miracle to me to have you there and be able to tell my troubles to you.  How I cherished our falling in love and being together.  Even though you didn’t know me, I knew you.  I’d keep the secret so I could keep my arms around you and have you there.  My angel.

 It broke my heart when, after months, we voted you into the tribe.  I wish we never had.  Because you revealed that you knew Trudy, oh no, that meant you knew me too, all along, and you were growing closer to her anyway.  Quite the track record with guys Trudy and I…she’s had every man I’ve ever wanted.

 I never gave you an answer Jaymes, about how torturing you for the Jaikarim would save everyone.  They told me Jaymes, that if I broke you, the Mallrats would be allowed to leave the city and that they’d condition memories into you of me as your lover and best friend.  I did it because I was jealous of Trudy, and in love with you.

 I left two sets of notebooks for you Jaymes, the story of your life as I know it, and then the Future Imperfect project notes, the story I had put into your mind to help control you.  I hope they will help you return to something like normal Jaymes.

It is my hope Jaymes, that this letter finds you in the company of your Mallrats, of your family.  You’ve lived through so much pain all alone.  I couldn’t bear it knowing I’d left you alone in the world after you searched so long for a family and found it in the Mallrats.  I hope they’re there to help you through this thing.  I know that by now you may know that our daughter wasn’t real.  I’m sorry, I know how much you love children.  I thought to hold you to me with her memory.

I hope Jaymes, that you’ll think kindly on me from time to time, and as you think of me suffering in hell, for that is where I no doubt am, that you’ll know that even the most horrible thing I did to you, I did for the most noble of reasons, I did it all in love’s name.  I love you Jaymes, my lover, my friend, my angel, I love you.  Look on me from heaven sometime.
Loving You Eternal,
Ebony

As I finish the letter, nobody, even the ones that hated her the most, remain dry eyed.  This letter, this confession of her sin and declaration of love is so powerful that we all feel it.  “I didn’t know that.” I say.  “Didn’t know what Jaymes?” Trudy asks.  “I never knew she knew I would go to her window at nights.  She never told me.”  I hang my head and then I say “Oh Precious…your mommy.”  Then I remember, the baby isn’t real “Its going to be so hard to get straight what’s real and what isn’t.  Even now, the little voice she placed in me is telling me that you all did this, that you have to die for it.”

KC runs in and says “GUYS!  Come on, you guys gotta see this…hurry.”  Everyone gets up and follows KC.

Chapter 7—Fallen Angels

“Shut up KC, can’t you see Jaymes doesn’t need to go looking at something stupid right now.” Amber says.  “This isn’t stupid, I swear, come on.” He says again.  Trudy leans over and asks me “Are you up for going outside for a while honey?”  “The air might do me good sweetie.” I reply.  KC is hurrying for everything in him, the rest of us are walking slowly, really depressed.  “Hurry.”  KC says yet again.

When we finally do get outside, we walk a small distance from the mall and he turns and points at the roof.  There’s a Mallrat symbol made of wood there, with several large barrels around it, all have a fire burning in them.  There are murmurs, and Salene asks “What is that?”  Then Trudy squints and says “Oh my god!  On the symbol, is that…Ebony?”  As another wave of the conditioning hits me, I slam Trudy and Amber away from me, saying “Mallrats parasites…you’ve done this.”  Then I run to save my Ebony.  I stop at the door to the mall and turn back.  “I’m sorry, I couldn’t stop it.  I need help.”

When we get up there, I make the others wait away from her, and I ask Amber to help cut her down.  As we approach the symbol, Amber starts to gag.  “Jaymes, look.”  I look at the ground.  All the blood.  She’s lost so much.  We cut her down and I check for her pulse.  Barely.  “TAI-SAN! Get over here.” I scream.  She hands their daughter to Lex, and runs over.  She checks Ebony out and says “I doubt there’s anything we can do.”  I look at Amber and Tai-San and say “You said she was dead you dirty Mallrats.”  I go wide-eyed and say “I’m trying not to…”  “Its okay Jaymes, the road has just been laid before you.” Tai-San says, then “She should have been.  It was a hard hit she took.  Hard enough we didn’t think there was a need to check.”  A small groan.  “What was that?”  another groan.  I look at Ebony and see her weakly stirring.  “Ebony, be still, you’ve lost a lot of blood.” I say.  I hear the tribe come up behind me quietly.  “Jaymes?  Is that my sweet Jaymes?” Ebony says.  “Its me Ebony.  Who did this Ebony?”  She opens her eyes, and smiles weakly, saying “I did…they told me to do it.”  I ask her who told her.  “I saw the angels again today.  When the Mallrats attacked, the angels told me you were dead Jaymes.  But I’m with you, I was able to do it Jaymes.”  “What were you able to do, Ebbie?”  I ask her.  All the while this is going on, Trudy and Tai-San are working on her wounds and the other Mallrats are watching silently behind me.  “The angels told me I could be with you in heaven.  When I asked them about my evils, they said all I had to do was sacrifice myself, show my love and my faith to you, to them, to god, and all would be forgiven.  So I had my people make the symbol, then I nailed my feet and the one hand to it.  I couldn’t do the other one though.  I was afraid that god wouldn’t forgive me because of that, but I did it.  I killed myself, and I’ve been brought back to you.”  she smiles so weak.  “But I’m not dead Ebony, and neither are you.”  her heart seems to sink at this.  “You mean I failed you Jaymes?”  she whispers.  “Of course not my love.  You could never fail me.  My warrior goddess, you make me strong just by knowing you.”  She looks at me with eyes that are glazing over more and more and says “I’m ready for the feast.”  The feast?  That’s what she called…“No Ebony, don’t you die on me.  I can’t bear it if you leave me sweet little one.  I want you to fight Ebony, I want you to stay with me now.”  Ebony perks up just a little.  “You mean we can stay together forever my sweet love?”  I look to her and say “Of course we can, you just have to fight to stay with me.”  “What about Trudy…the babies?”  I tell her we’ll work all that out later on.  “You just keep it going Ebony.”  Bray, Lex and Ryan help me move her.  We get her wounds to stop bleeding and we get her in a room.  Tai-San pulls me aside and Trudy stands beside me.  “I don’t know why you want to do this after what she did to you, but I wouldn’t expect anything to come from it.  She’ll probably still be dead by morning.”  I look at Tai-San and say “You’ll do what you can, I know you will.”

Tai-San leaves and comes back with a mix of herbs to raise energy.  I take it and I go to the bed beside Ebony.  I check her pulse and it’s still so very weak.  When I touch her she stirs again.  “Here Ebony, you need to drink this.  It’ll help raise your strength.”  “The angels are here, they’re telling me not to hold on.  That I can be with Jaymes in the other life.”  I hold her and raise her head so I can pour the drink into her mouth.  “Now swallow Ebony.”  She does.  “Good girl.  Now, I’m here Ebony, its Jaymes.  Your angel in the black coat.  I want you to stay with me sweetie, so you can climb my trees with me.”  I give her more of the drink, and her strength starts to return a little, not much, but there’s a visible improvement.  “sixty-three.” She says.  “What’s that Ebony?” I ask her.  “That’s how many times you visited me before the virus.  Listening to my troubles, giving me your silent love.” Then she starts to ramble so much “Zoot hurt me.  He laughed at me when I’d scream for you.  Why didn’t you come to me?”  I play with her hair and I say “I would have if I’d known.  I thought you’d left me.”  She is speaking through labored breaths as she says “I’d never leave you my love.  We make each other better.”  I kiss her cheek and say “I know we do.  I wouldn’t be the person I am without you.”  she starts to moan in her pain and I say “Sleep now my goddess.  Save your strength so you can stay with me.”  She strains as she says “Yes love, whatever you ask.”

When I’m sure she’s asleep and at least stable for the moment, I walk out of the room with Trudy.  “I know that was hard for you to hear Trudy.  I just said whatever I could to keep her with us.”  Trudy says “How could you after all she’s done?”  I hold her in my arms and I say “How can I expect to have help through my pain if I won’t help someone else in need?”  “You’re such a good person Jaymes.  How could she try to take that from you?”  I change the subject by asking “How is Brady?”  Trudy says “She’s okay…still asks about you.  She’ll be so happy in the morning.”  I hang my head and Trudy says “What is troubling you husband?”  “I think I should be kept from the children for a while.”  She asks why and I reply “Whatever she did to me, I didn’t care to hurt a child.  I have memories of killing Li-Li and threatening Brady to you.  Oh, the things she made me feel towards you and do to you.”  Full of love and concern, Trudy asks “What did she make you do husband?”  “I…I’m not ready to talk about it.”

Trudy goes to bed, but I keep a constant vigil over Ebony, helping Tai-San where I can and thanking her too much for staying up and helping me even though everyone hates her.  “She’s still a soul in need, and like you told Trudy, how can any of us expect help in our darkest times if we don’t help others, whether we love them or not.”  Ebony wakes up several times during the night, each time just slightly stronger as her body replaces the lost blood, but Tai-San is quick to remind me that she still could die.  On one of the times she woke up, she was almost hysterical  “Calm down Ebony, its just Jaymes.  I’m here for you.”  “Jaymes, how did we get here?”  she said, her voice is different, there’s something off.  “The Mallrats found apparently raided a building where I’ve been for a year and a half.”  In a voice that’s somewhat childlike, she says “I’m…I’m sorry Jaymes.  I, there’s a letter.”  “I know that my love.  I’ve read it.  Why didn’t you try to win my love the right way?”  “Would you have loved me Jaymes?”  she asks.  “Didn’t I once before?”  I reply.  “Twice.  You loved me when you climbed our tree to be with me.”  She says.  “Yes I did goddess, yes I did.  I always have.”  She smiles through her bodies pain and says “My angel.”  Then she slips away from me into sleep again.

I go to my room and I find that Trudy is up and that Brady is too.  Seems that Trudy couldn’t wait for our oldest child to see her daddy again.  Sleepily Brady says “Is that you daddy?”  “Yes sweetie, its me.” I tell her, then I find something interesting.  What I expected is just the opposite, I was afraid that the rage Ebony put into me would come when I was around the children, and it has, but I find that love for my babies is drowning it out.  I think to myself “You couldn’t know Ebony, you don’t really have children…you could never know that a real man would never hurt his child, no matter the rage he feels in his heart.  I can defeat this thing you did Ebony.”  “Where were you daddy?” she asks me.  Not quite knowing what to say, I say “I just went out for a while little angel.”  Brady kisses my cheek and she yawns “I love you daddy…gonna fall asleep now.”  “I love you baby.”  I check on Ghany sleeping soundly, I pick up Li-Li to inspect her to see she’s alright and finding her okay I walk to Fire’s basket and I pick her up.  As she’s sleeping I bring her to my bed and watch her as she has this innocent look on her little face.  Trudy is watching me silently as I say to Fire “We have a lot of lost time to make up for little miracle.”  I lay her on the bed beside myself and Trudy and I watch her sleep.

The weeks crawl by as I try to work through what Ebony did to me and at the same time nurse her back to health.  She’s finally up and about again, but she’s not without her problems.  The blood loss caused some brain damage.  Tai-San seems to think she’ll be normal again eventually, but for now Ebony has about the same mental capacity that little Brady does.  The childlike voice she started the first night became more child-like and she speaks in it all the time now.  Trudy is very understanding of me taking care of Ebony.  I’m afraid that Trudy is taking joy in seeing Ebony in pain, that they all are.  I’ve had to teach her almost everything.  How to use a spoon and fork, how to dress herself again, she’s had to be taught not to use the bathroom on herself.  Ebony and Brady sort of naturally have become friends since they find so much in common these days.  They play with dolls, Ebony’s dolls are dressed like the Mallrats, because she loves us all for taking care of her, she says.  Ebony and Brady fight over silly little things, and what Brady gets Ebony wants.  Ebony has a child’s mindset.  I even have to tuck her into bed at night.  Most of the Mallrats thought at first she was running a scam, but we’ve all seen too much now to think that.  They used to make jokes about her situation until one day I lost it with Lex.  Ebony came by holding her favorite dolls and Lex says “You playin’ with your dolly?”  “uh-huh.” Ebony says.  “Do you like snakes Ebony?”  “Nuh-uh” she says.  “You sure, cause I got one you could play with if you want.”  Tai-San isn’t there, obviously.  As Ebony runs off scared, not knowing what he meant Danni, Bray, Lex, Salene, May, Patsy and Cloe start to laugh hard.  Trudy started to laugh, but stopped when she saw me staring at Lex.  I throw him on a table and take out my switchblade and open it.  “Like to make jokes, huh Lex?  Well, you’re the snake Lex.  Remember how you kill a snake?  You cut its….head…off.”  I let him up.  “Anybody else want to make Ebony jokes?”  I know she isn’t hurt because she didn’t understand, but I feel the need to be with around her anyway.  I just sit and stare at her.  Trudy comes to find me and sits with me.  Ebony doesn’t notice, she’s talking to her dolls, having a little party.  Trudy asks “What is it husband?”  I say to her “I’m sad, my wife.”  I tell her.  “Why are you hurt?” “Because,” I say “I’ve protected Ebony for so long.  I was romantic to you before the virus, but I protected her.  Its hard for me to think about her as that girl I protected and the woman who was my lover.”  Trudy says “I don’t understand what you mean.”  “Look at Ebony there, not our Ebony, but something else in her body.  Someone I don’t know in a body I know every curve and dimple of.  I’m sorry to say it like that wife, but that’s all I know to say.”  Trudy understands.  I think to myself “She did it after all, sacrificed herself to be with me forever.  Even though the body is the same, My Ebony is dead, but I owe this person in her body so much, so she’ll be with me forever.  Just one more double memory in my life.  Ebony died, but she didn’t.”

As Trudy and Jaymes walk to their room, Ebony smiles as she pops the head off the doll dressed like Trudy.

Chapter 8—Vengeful Souls

As we finish up another long and passionate kiss she asks me “Do you think she understands what’s happening?”  “No,” I say “She doesn’t understand how evil the world can be anymore.”  She says “Strange, considering she used to be one of it’s worst.”  “She wasn’t really that bad, was she?”  “After everything she did and you can still defend her.  I don’t understand where your heart gets its compassion Jaymes.”  I respond to her, “Well, I feel obligated to care for her…she is the mother of my children after all.”  Ebony smiles and says “Yes, I guess that’s true, now tell me what’s bothering you.”  “I find it odd Ebony, the way of all this.  You tried to kill yourself for me, and we’ve had to work you back from a child’s mental state.  Those were hard months.  Trudy and I have grown apart because of them.”  “Do you want to be close to her anymore Jaymes.”  “I don’t know what I want, my goddess.  I just wish there was a way, like cloning from the old days, that I could be with you both.  Neither decision is a good decision Ebony.  If I pick you, I lose my family, including the baby you made me think was dead.  If I pick Trudy, I lose a love deeper than she’s capable of giving. Pick you, I lose the one I’ve always loved, pick Trudy I lose the only one who truly accepted me.”

We hear Trudy come up the stairs talking to Brady and I jump out of bed with Ebony.  She puts on the child’s innocent look she’s perfected over the months.  I found out on accident that Ebony wasn’t as bad as she was making out she was.  The blood loss was minimal really, she used animal blood to make it look worse than it was.  I was so taken with her actions that I started watching and listening to her.  I started to remember what drew me to her all those years ago, then again when I woke up in the mall, and it wasn’t long before our romance was getting heavy again.  The hot nights, the talks, only interrupted when another person was in the room.  Soon, we formed a plan to bring Ebony back like Tai-San said might happen.  Over the course of a few months that plan was put into action, and soon Ebony was ‘back to normal’ except that she was so much nicer after her ‘horrible ordeal’.  In public she was close to me because I’d kept her safe and she was nice to everyone else too.  In private, she was my lover and we plotted how we were going to make them all suffer and take over the city.  First we would drive Trudy from my bed and I would divorce her and leave her and her children to roam around like gutter trash, then we would remove the rest of the Mallrats one by one.  “I didn’t think it’d be this easy to hate them all Ebony.”  I say.  “You helped me see that my love.”  She looks at me tenderly and says “Are you sure you’ll be able to do this to her?”  “She is my queen, Ebony…but you are my goddess.  I can do whatever you ask me.”

I play the game as Ebony lays it out.  I become distant from my wife, and I hardly ever touch her, making her think there’s something wrong with her, which I never tell her there isn’t.  I never let her see me spending time with my children, though I do often, as often as possible.  When Brady talks to me, I become short with her and treat her poorly.  This breaks my heart, but it’s for the greater good of things.

Ebony announces that she wants to take a trip to the rest of the tribe one day and she says that she wants me to go with her because she’s afraid for herself.  “Right” I think, Ebony afraid.  That is like a fish on a bicycle, it doesn’t make sense and it never happens.  Trudy says she’ll go to, that Ticia can watch our children and she’ll go too.  Ebony says okay, then whispers to me to pack now, we leave tonight.  “That’s great.” Ebony says loud, “We’ll leave in the morning.”  Ebony told me she could just imagine the look on Trudy’s face.

Ebony takes care of starting a fire as we get the night started by being together then after we finish, we sit up and look at the fire.  “Is it that good with Trudy?” she asks, “No Ebony, it’s not nearly like that with Trudy.” I say, then “But we have plans to make, don’t we?”  “Yes, it will be wonderful.”  She says.  I see a small reflection in the bushes and I whisper “Maybe the plan can start sooner than we think.”  Ebony asks what I mean, and I say “In the bushes, looks like Trudy followed us.”  Ebony seems impressed that Trudy could do that.  I know my wife, I’m not surprised at all that she was able to pull it off, plus I trained her, so I know what she can do.  I take Ebony by the waist and I roll her on top of me and we start.  As we go about it, I notice Trudy ever so quietly move up, until she’s just a few feet away.  “Ebony, get up!”  We jump up, surprised at seeing Trudy there.  “um, Trudy, honey…I…”  She starts crying “Jaymes, how could you do this?”  then says “You know I’d rather it be anyone else on earth…”  “There is no one else Trudy.”  I say.  “Jaymes, but…she’s evil.”  “Interesting.”  Ebony says, then I add “Interesting indeed…the Supreme Mother commenting on evil.  Certainly I’m making a step down, when I join with you, eh Ebony?”  Trudy’s tears become stronger.  “A step down.  Yes Jaymes, I believe I am a step down.  Something that would sell out it’s friends, give up its baby to a group of crazies, then would join with a group to destroy everyone just because she’s lonely for a man…Some kind of trash.”  I say then no, not trash, some kind of animal.”  Trudy can’t stop crying.  And I ask “So Trudy, where are our children?”  very quietly she says “Ticia is watching them.” I laugh and Ebony says “What’s so funny Jaymes?”  I look at her, ignoring Trudy and I say “You know, I knew her story before I married her and I did it anyway.  Bray, Zoot, they pretty much come to you in the end anyway, I should have just stayed with you when I was with you before, but I had to take the long way around.”  Ebony smiles and says “Everyone should experience Trudy once, just to see what it’s all about.  You know, Zoot, the psycho that he was, was just a boy named Martin, then after he slept with Trudy he started losing it.”

Trudy finally runs away, and I have to keep myself from hurting just a twinge at what I did to her.  “It feels so good to get my feelings for her out in the open Ebony.  She’s been growing about from me for months.  I’ve been missing the close loving relationship we have.”  “Well, you’re going to have what you deserve in life Jaymes, I’m going to give you what you need.”  I smile at her and as we kiss I say “I hope to give you what you deserve in life too.”

A month later, I told Trudy, in front of the whole tribe including an excited Ebony, “Trudy, you know how much I love you right?”  Trudy says “I guess.”  Well, I remember that your birthday is coming up, so I was hoping I could give you something special, a bit early.”  She says “Really?”  then asks what.  “I was hoping you’d do me the honor on your birthday of accepting our divorce.”  Everyone is silently shocked, except Ebony, who is smiling carefully.  Trudy, as one might expect, is crying.

So the months go by and Trudy and I go our separate ways, the tribe is unhappy, but they accept it slowly, then the controversy is raised all over again on the day that Ebony and I announce our plans to marry.

Chapter 9—The Lover’s Prevail

Even a wedding no one wants is an occasion to celebrate in the mall.  Plans are made, supplies are put together and they all start to help us get ready…everyone, that is, but Trudy.  She wants nothing to do with the wedding, which is understandable I suppose.  She is in a bad mood all the time and bringing down the whole atmosphere of the wedding, Ebony is terrorizing her in this “Come on babe, stop putting everything in the dumps.  I don’t want your bad mood to start affecting my step children.”  Trudy looks at me for support, but I say “She’s right, you need to stop this and get happy.”

Ebony is off doing things for the wedding with Patsy and Cloe and Salene.  I’m on the roof looking out over the city when Danni finds me.  “You sure about this Jaymes?” she asks.  “As sure as I can be.  After everything this is all that I can think of to do.”  “The whole thing’s gonna turn out wrong, you know that, right?”  I tell her that it’ll turn out in the end.  Everyone will be with who they should be and the sins will be atoned for.  “That’s a strange way to talk about your wedding.”  Danni says.  “Well, yeah, but I hope you’ll do your part to help out.”  “Of course, I wouldn’t want to ruin it for everyone.”  I look at Danni and smile “It will be fun won’t it?”  “Should be great.”

Ebony and I take a moment to ourselves and we talk about the future.  “We’re going to be together, forever my love.” She says.  “Yes my beautiful goddess, soon we can put Trudy in the past and move on with our life together.”  “I love you Jaymes.”  Ebony says “I love you too baby.”  I tell her.

Brady turns the corner and sees Ebony and I as we kiss.  She kicks Ebony hard and when I pick her up she takes her little fists and hits me as hard as her little muscles will let her. “Baby, what’s wrong?”  I ask her.  “Mommy says you’re bad.”  “Come here Brady.”  Ebony says “Love is a strange thing sweetie, sometimes the people we love don’t love us back, and sometimes the people we start out loving are not the same people we love later on.”  Brady is fighting and squirming “PUT ME DOWN! Stupid Ebony.”  She almost drops Brady, it hurts so much.  I think Ebony remembers still when Brady was her best friend.  She liked that part of her little act more than she’ll ever admit.  Ebony is hurt as she puts Brady down and Brady runs off.  “She’ll never love me will she?”  Ebony asks “She’s not really my daughter remember.  Trudy wouldn’t let her around you anyhow.”

Ebony and I go sleep in our room and I dream of the coming wedding.  Everything will end on a perfect note with this wedding.  Everyone gets their karma returned to them.  I love it and I cannot wait.  When I wake up I say to Ebony “You know what would be really cruel?  Ask Trudy  to be a bridesmaid, maybe even maid of honor.”  Ebony smiles and says “She’d never agree to that.”  “Might be interesting to ask though.”  So Ebony does ask her and to everyone’s surprise, and Ebbies suspicions, Trudy agrees.  “I wonder what she’s planning on us.”  Ebony says.  “Whatever it is, she’s just one woman sweetie, we can handle Trudy.  Accidents can happen in the middle of a wedding too, you know.”  Ebony smiles.  “Just a few more days and Everything is going to be good to go and we’ll be together forever and these filthy Mallrats will be on the road of their doom.”  I say to her.  “Yes Jaymes, we will make them pay for hurting us, make them pay from the inside out, one at a time.”  I ask her “Goddess, can Trudy be last?”  “Oh of course Jaymes.  Its no fun any other way, is it?”  I shake my head.  “Now then Jaymes, we have plans to finalize, do we not?”  I nod.  “Then I will get to mine and you get to yours.  I have to plan a more extravagant entrance than your ex-wife made, then I have to figure out a better dress.”  “You’ll look beautiful no matter what sweet one.” I tell her.  “I know, but it has to out do Trudy.”  I nod again.

The day of the wedding arrives, I’ve asked only one person be there with me and that is Ryan.  Ebony has Trudy and Patsy standing with her.  I picked Ryan as a definite sign of disrespect to the others, and Ebony picked Trudy for obvious reasons, and Patsy for the time she tried to get her killed.  There’s no talking this time.  No one wants to admit what’s about to happen.  I think they want to believe that if they don’t talk about it, then they’ll wake up from a dream.  No though, this is a good day.  It is really happening, all the planning is about to pay off.  The ceremony begins and Ebony did indeed make a more extravagant entrance than Trudy.  The ceremony is taking place on Ebony’s parents old property.  Her house is gone, but the tree is still there.  Ebony is being led in on a steel platform welded to the top of two old loco vans.  She is standing in a warriors stance, it’s beautiful.  Her dress is leather, a light blue and white.  Her eye’s stand out in this dress.  Shame that this day and this dress with have so much negative feelings attached to it.

Ebony stands with me looking lovingly into my eyes and I into hers.  “My guardian angel”  she says “Our time together started this way, and now our journey together will start this way also.”  I nod to her “You’re right my love, all our important moments are here.”  Tai-San gets started with the ceremony.  “We are gathered at this place to bring together souls in harmony.  We call upon the fates to witness this joining of Jaymes and Ebony together forever.  Ebony, you’ve asked to say a few words.”  Ebony looks into my eyes and actually starts to cry.  “Jaymes, as we stand under this tree and I look at you, I remember the times that you would sit in this tree.”  She points to a limb and say “Right up there, every time.  Looking in on me and just being there.  I don’t know if you loved me then, or if you were bored or what, but you reassured me that life was good and could be kind.  I want you with me to reassure me of that forever Jaymes.  You are my angel, my friend, and my protector.  I want to give you the child I made you think you’d had, I love you and I vow to be your friend forever.”  Tai-San says “Jaymes, you wished to speak.”  I look deep into Ebony’s eyes and I say “My goddess, before I’d known any other of the people I know now, I knew you, and I knew I wanted you.  I took the long way to get to you, watching you from our tree here and waiting to try and win your love.  I was afraid to approach you then, but no longer.  I know now that my destiny lies in your arms at night.  I’m ready to cast out all reminders of my past life and be with you in love and glory forever, never to look at another.  You are my life, I go where you lead.”  Ebony cries so much and she says “Now I have my happiness in life.

Tai-San passes us the rings and we place them on each other’s fingers, and Tai-San says to Ebony “Ebony, do you forever and always promise that Jaymes will be your only love and in your heart he will dwell and you will be his companion in good times and in bad, forever following where he leads?”  Ebony, her head on my chest and crying, says “I promise.”  Tai-San looks to me and says “Jaymes, do you promise that Ebony will be first in your heart, the love of your soul, the companion you turn to in good times and in bad, do you promise to protect Ebony now like you did in the old days and be with her to ease her troubles and be hers forever?”  I look lovingly into Ebony’s eyes, I move my finger a little on her shoulder and I say “I…do not.”  Ebony is shock and starts to tear up.  “I will not love her, she is evil and unlovable.  She is trash.  She tried to make me kill my wife, tried to force me to love her, tried to make me believe that some of my family was dead.  I hate you Ebony.  I want to forget every memory of you I ever had.”  I make a hand motion and the tribe come and ties her hands and feet.  I bring out an ax and the tribe moves back.  I start to cut and cut and don’t stop until the tree I sat in many nights watching Ebony falls to the ground, the Lex brings out gas and we set the tree on fire.  I walk up to Trudy and we sit in front of a tied up Ebony and I kiss Trudy over and over again.  “I love you my sweet Trudy.” I say to her.  Ebony is crying and she says “Why didn’t you just let me die?”  I kiss my Trudy, my soul, mother of my children and I say “Because Ebony, after you kidnapped me and kept me in a prison for a year and a half, after you gave me memories of doing things to my Trudy and killing my child, and losing my friends.  After you pretended to try to kill yourself in love for me, after you loved me when I first came here then grew to betray me…after all these things…letting you die was too kind.  I want you to suffer now, suffer seeing me with my wife and children now and knowing you’ll never again touch me and I’ll never again give you a kind thought, suffer in knowing that finally, finally, Trudy is the better woman, and that finally there’s a man you can’t have.”  Then I ask her “How does it feel to finally be hurt the way you hurt others?”

Ebony broke free of her bonds and ran away screaming and crying.  That was nearly six months past and she hasn’t been seen.  I barely think of her anymore, my wife and my children take all my time.  My little daughter Fire is my life and she almost never leaves my arms.  I have but one regret in the whole thing.  My sweet daughter Precious.  I know she wasn’t real, but my heart tells me I’m wrong.  I wish she were here.
 

Hosted Fiction