Chapter 1--Dreams of Loves Lost:

I stand here in a tomb that I created for Ebony.  She was my friend, she was my woman, and she was first among my wives.  Ebony was once a person not to trust or to be trusted.  She once told me that her life before the tribe had made her this way.  On her deathbed she told me that she both loved me and hated me for our life together.  Love, she said because there had never been a person who trusted her without question, hate because she had felt forced to grow to be worthy of that trust.

 I contemplate at  this alter to Ebony just how easy it would be to use the rediscovered secrets to take her cells, just a few, and I could have my warrior goddess back with me.  This thought makes me shudder when I think of how she would rage at me for this…for taking her out of her time and making her leave her friends in the feast of the dead.  It is just then, that a bronze haired beauty of 14 years enters the crypt.  “Are you feeling well father?”, this little one asks me.  “Yes, Xana…I just came to visit your mother.”  She stops for a moment, squeezes my hand then kneels to pay her respects to Ebony, Then:  “I’ve just had a messenger from Tai-San, your tribe is assembled at the old farm, Trudy is asking for you.”  “Is the messenger still here?”, I ask.
“Yes father, shall I send her in?”
“Please.”

As I stand still looking at my Ebony, I hear the small footsteps behind me, a child’s hands, no bigger and no older than my Xana’s wrap around my own and this little girl leans her head against my arm.  “My little Brady…What’s happened?”  I can think of Brady only as a little girl because there have been many a night where her mother and I have fought the battles of war alongside our friends while this little one slept in her crib in the mall we called our home.  “Mother is dying” Brady tells me in a voice that makes my heart sink.

I say my goodbyes to Ebony and then Brady and I make our way to the old farm.  Alice’s family owned this farm before the virus.  As I make my way across the field up to the house I see my old friends. Patsy is the one who meets me.  Her face tells me what I need to know, but I ask anyway:  “Is there nothing to be done for her?”  Tears, more tears from the look of it, enter her eyes at this as she says to me, “Tai-San and Bray are with her.”  I note she didn’t answer my question.  When I get to the house I exchange greetings with Danni, Jack, Ellie and Cloe.  Lex is there, but we’ve not spoken in some time and he doesn’t seem to want to start now.  “Where’s Salene?”, I ask.  Heads hang at this.  Patsy leans over and says “She passed on about 2 years ago…we tried to contact you.”  I realize I’ve been gone too long.  “Where is Trudy?” I inquire.  “She’s back down this way.”  That voice was Tai-San.  I turn, and see those eyes, still alight with wisdom.  “How are you old woman.”  I say playfully.  Tai-San smacks my cheek half heartedly.  “Charmer.  You always were to cover up your pain.  Come on, I’ll take you to her.”  I lean over to her as we walk and say, “Thank you for taking care of her.  I love you, you know that.”

Tai-San shows me to the room where Trudy is being taken care of.  “Thank you San.”  I say to her using my old nickname for her.  She shows herself out and I stand in the door watching Trudy as she sleeps.  I think of many nights that Brady slept while Trudy and I fought to create the brave new world.  I make my way over and lay down on the bed with Trudy, and as I do she stirs and wakes up.  She twists in bed to face me and looks up into my eyes.  I say to her, “I’m sorry I was late little girl.”  She tries to laugh, but it turns into a cough.  “Little girl…you always did use charm to hide when you were hurting.”  “Why does everybody know that?” I ask.  Then Trudy says:  “How long have you been here?”  I hug her gently and say, “Not long.  Just enough to regret the way I treated you.”  Trudy smiles softly, a smile that always melted my heart and says, “I’ve never regretted it, I love you husband.”

When Trudy falls back to sleep I go to set on the steps of the house.  Patsy comes out, saying that Lex would have, but patsy wouldn’t let him.  Sweet Patsy, always trying to keep the peace.  She sits down and puts her head on my shoulder and doesn’t say a word.  I start to rant, “I never should have sent her away.  I wish I’d have just put her on the throne with me.”  Patsy just listens in that way she learned from my Trudy.  After a half hour or so, I start walking, I don’t know if I said anything or not to Patsy, but I make my way to the coast and I fall to my knees on the beach.  I sit there for what seems like an eternity and then I start to scream.  “Why are you doing this to me Ebony?  Don’t you love me anymore?”  I start crying like I’ve never cried before, then the screaming returns.  “How can you be so cruel to me Ebony?!  I miss you so much, I don’t have anyone else.  You stop trying to take her from me you jealous waste.”  I don’t remember anything else about the time on the beach.

When I wake up, Lex is setting in a chair.  I look at him and say, “hmm, and you haven’t killed me yet?”  Lex, doesn’t do anything except say “I take no pleasure in this situation old friend.  I hate to see you do this to yourself.”  Then he chuckles and says, “I had a similar rant myself believe it or not, only I knew when it was time to quit.”  As he walked away he turns back and adds:  “Still, you must’ve yelled at the right people.”  I don’t respond in my depression, then I hear, “What exactly did you say?”  My eyes go wide immediately as I realize the voice is my Trudy.  I try to jump up, but nearly pass out when I do.  “Don’t get up old man.” She says.  I just look at her with a questioning look and she whispers “Miracles happen everywhere.”

Trudy and I lay in the bed without saying anything until she breaks the silence.  “Did you really scream at Ebony that you’d clone her and kill her over and over if I died?”  “I don’t remember.” I say.

Chapter 2—Waking and World of Lies

Something in the dream shocks me awake suddenly.  “Ebony?” I say in the darkness.  “Yeah, sounded like you were having that dream again.” Then she says, “I need to find someone else, can’t sleep with you around.”  I slap at her playfully and we share a laugh and a hug.  I love Ebony because she accepts me in ways nobody else does.  These dreams I have scare some of the others, so that doesn’t help me gain trust.

I have been with the mallrats for nearly a year now,  five of those months in a coma sleep, but these dreams have plagued me for only a couple of  months.  It doesn’t add to my credibility.  The tribe doesn’t know anything about me because I haven’t told them.  They believe that it’s a result of the coma they found me in.  When in reality, there are much bigger reasons.

“What are you doing today?” Ebony asks me, bringing me out of my thoughts.  I tell her that I plan to check  south perimeter security, see how some repairs are going, “Then I’m going to see Tai-San if she isn’t busy.  Where will you be?”  the answer I get before she leaves is a cryptic “Out and about, nothing fancy.”

I sit in my chamber that I share with Ebony for awhile ranting at myself when Bray walks by the door.  “That dream got you spooked again?” he asks.  “Yeah, I just don’t understand it.” I tell him.  I confide in Bray because I remember him from before the virus.  I don’t think he remembers me, but I respect him as a person and leader.  “The dreams are odd,” I say.  “We’re all older, Salene is dead, Alice isn’t around anymore, Ebony dead, and she was my wife.”  Bray listens to me, then he asks.  “Was Trudy in this one?”  “Yes…” I tell him, just as Trudy turns the corner saying, “What Trudy in this one what?”  I had hoped to avoid this, she doesn’t take things like this very well…never has.  I see Bray excuse himself.

“Was Trudy in this one, what?” she says again.  No avoiding it, so I go about telling her the dream.  I’ve been married to Ebony...who’s dead and I'm standing in the tomb I’ve made for her when Brady tells me that Trudy is dying, my going to the farm and seeing her.  “At least you didn’t die this time”. I tell her.  Trudy failed to see the humor.  She takes it upon herself to tell me what the others think of the dreams.  It seems that Ebony supports me, no surprise there, Tai-San is seeing signs all around me and thinks we should see where they lead.  Alice seems to think I want to kill her.  Salene is claiming to be scared of me. Bray doesn’t understand me but doesn’t think I pose a threat, and the young ones wonder if I see the future.  Lex is saying nothing.

“Why would I be a leader though, Trudy.  I’m not even a member of the tribe.”  “I don’t see why I’d marry you and then send you away and have children by Ebony.”  Trudy looks thoughtful for a moment then says, “Maybe you did it for political reasons.  You could combine remnant tribes that way.”  I nod and say “Yes, but a real marriage to you accomplishes that as well.  The Supreme Mother can claim The Chosen.”  “You know I hate them.” Trudy says, reminding me of a distaste for them after what happened to her.  “Still though, you could lay claim to them…and with Zoot’s daughter you may even be able to lay claim to the Locos as well.”  Then I add, “With you I get three tribes to Ebony’s two.”

“Okay, so I was wrong…do you have to rub it in?” Trudy says.  I wasn’t trying to hurt her feelings  “I’m just trying to figure out these dreams is all.  I’m sorry Trudy.”  I look at her with puppy dog eyes, and all is forgiven with a smile.

After a stare filled midday meal I decide I need to be alone for a while, so I go to the sewers.  After about four hours, Danni finds me there.  “You’re a very interesting person” she says.  She adds:  “The Tribe have voted to make you a member”.  I didn’t know they were voting on that.  “Easier,” I say, “to make me a member than it is to assign a covert watch when you kick me out.”  “Something like that,” Lex interrupts from behind me.  “Tai-San is asking for you.”

I got to Tai-San’s room, where she reads my aura and she tells me that the journey towards the truth will be a long one.  “You say you can’t remember who you are.”  Tai-San asks me.  “That’s right, but all of you have said you’ve never seen me, so why would I be dreaming of all of us together as older?”  Tai-San shakes her head, then says “Its possible you are dreaming of us as a replacement family, or that you are reliving memories of something else with Mallrats playing the roles.”  I take this in silently.  “You’ve been voted into the tribe.”  She says.  I don’t bother to tell her that I knew already.  “There’s a meeting later to tell you formally”  “I see” managing to be polite.  “Now”, Tai-San says “Tell me why you aren’t telling anyone you remember Bray and Trudy.”  Tai-San is a perceptive little one…and I have been relaxed a bit these past few weeks in my acting.

I spend a few minutes trying to deny that I actually know them, then she says “I’ve seen the way you look when one of them is around.  Now, don’t lie to me.”  So, I tell Tai-San about being a year behind Bray and Trudy in school before the virus, and having a crush on Trudy, I tell Tai-San about asking Trudy out once.  “She laughed at me.”, I say.  “The thing that hurts the most ‘San, is that she doesn’t even remember me, so I pretend not to know who I am so it doesn’t hurt as much.”  She looks at me weird, then I say “don’t worry, I’m going to tell everybody who I am…or at least that I remember.”

I meet up with Ebony in the south passage.  “Hey, so did you get your ‘Nothing Fancy’ taken care of.”  In that totally annoying way she has, she just says “Yes.”  I wait for her to expand on this. When it becomes apparent that she won’t, I say “So Ebbie, did you hear they made me a member of the tribe?”  “Salene told me.” Ebony says.  “You know, I think Salene may have a thing for you.”  “I’m told I scare her.” I reply.  “Yeah, that’s what she says, but her eyes tell a different story when she talks about you.”  Ebony says  I say to her “Salene DOESN’T have a thing for me, I know this.”  “Well babe, I’m going to lay down before this meeting.  Have somebody come get me when its time.”  Ebony kind of stares and asks me if she looks like a reminder service.  “The most beautiful I’ve ever seen.”  I say.

I’d been in my room for about 20 minutes when I hear a knock at my door.  “Mind if I come in?” Patsy’s voice chimes.  “I don’t mind.  Please come in.”  She takes a cushion opposite my position on the floor.  I ask her “Ebony didn’t send you to see if I needed anything did she?”  “No,” Patsy says, “I came on my own.”  This is interesting to me.  I scare Cloe to death, and usually Patsy tries to avoid me too.  “So, what can I do for the most beautiful member of the tribe?”  I ask.  Just like a child would, Patsy says “You say stuff like that to everybody, you don’t mean it.”  I tell her, “Sometimes little one, you just flatter people for no reason at all.”  “Ah,” she says.  Well, she’ll understand this one day.  “I heard you talking to Tai-San earlier.  Why won’t you tell Bray and Trudy you remember them?  I look at her and I say, “I hope that in our new world you never have to learn this for yourself, but sometimes the people we love, love other people…and like I told Tai-San, Trudy doesn’t remember me.  I hope you never have to feel pain like this in life, ever.”  Patsy giggles and says “I hope I don’t get like you people when I get older.”  I look at her and say, “You’re very odd, laughing at the pain of others.”  More giggles from my little friend, then she says, “She talks about you all the time.  She thinks that since you don’t remember, that she doesn’t have to apologize for hurting you.”  she adds.  “she’s completely in love with you.  I think its odd that she won’t apologize, and you lie so you can forget…odd indeed.”  I sigh and say, “Sometimes little one, love requires odd choices of us.”

After Patsy leaves I start to fall asleep.  Just as I’m about to have the dream again KC comes to tell me the meeting is ready.  “Well,” I think to myself, “at least I don’t have to watch my Trudy die again.”

Chapter 3—Meeting and Old Friends Found

KC ran ahead after telling me about the meeting which left me to get ready for the meeting and to think about what Patsy said earlier.  So Trudy does remember me.  This could be odd.  I didn’t think to find out if Bray remembered me or not.  If he does, he’ll remember that I was a friend of his brother.  They may not like that.  Well, best not keep them waiting.  This meeting will indeed be interesting.

After what Ebony said to me earlier, I note that Salene’s eyes do light up a bit when I enter the room.  Well, I know she doesn’t have a thing for me, but maybe she’s warming up to me.  I also note that Trudy turns her eyes away.  I wonder if Patsy said something to her.  Nobody else seems to notice I’m there.  “Always the last to know”, I say.  This quiets the conversations.  To myself I note that everyone is in fact here.

After a few greetings, Bray leads off the meeting.  “We have some concerns about you and what these dreams mean.”  Trudy chimes in “Not all of us.”  I note Ebony, Salene and Jack agree to this.  “So,” I think to myself, “Trudy really does remember.”  “Well, I don’t like him.”, Alice says, “But at least it’ll be an extra set of hands.”  When most of the tribe look at me, I feel like I’m being tested, and I decide on a cryptic answer.  “Put these hands to use wherever you need them.”  Salene blushes, Ebony smiles, obviously getting the joke, Lex chuckles a bit and Alice just outright laughs.   Taking control of the meeting again, Bray says, “Well anyway, we voted and you’re in.  Only one vote against.”  He won’t tell me who the negative vote was from.

I decide to use this as my time to hopefully gain a little trust.  “Perhaps the tribe will want to vote again after I’ve said my piece.”  That grabs attention.  “I have been lying to the group.  I do remember who I am.  I’ve been lying because I was afraid that my past would present a problem.”  I take a breath, “Tai-San and Patsy know why this is and one, possibly two others.”  I decide on a little test of my own.  “Past friendships do not cloud my philosophy.”  This gets a raised eyebrow from Bray.  Hmm, so he was the one who voted against me…I expected either Cloe or Lex.

“Shall we vote again then?”  Bray asks.  This time the vote is one sided in my favor.  Bray says “Welcome to the Mallrats our new friend.”  Trudy actually smiles a little.  Everyone’s looking at me, I guess I’m supposed to say a few words or something.  Okay, here goes.  “I want to thank everyone for allowing me to be in the tribe, and for keeping me here all these months before.  I will live up to my end of the deal.”  Then I say, “First I’ll put these hands to work building that new baby basket I’ve heard Trudy say that Brady needs.”  Then I look at Trudy and say, “If you’ll trust me to do it, that is.”  “Of course we will, won’t we darling?” she says bouncing Brady.

“Then it’s settled”, Bray says, ending the meeting.  As everyone starts to disperse, I walk up to Bray and I whisper “Power and Chaos was only interesting when I hadn’t eaten in three or four days.  Otherwise it was a load of crap.”  Bray doesn’t say anything but I think he understands my meaning.

When I get to her room I hear Trudy tell Brady that it will be interesting to finally have someone that her father’s insanity hadn’t infected.  I stand in the door watching her fuss over Brady and talk to her about things.  I’m so lost in thoughts of the old days that I don’t hear her as she calls my name.  “Jaymes?”  I kind of jump and Trudy says, “Where were you just then?”  I look at her and say “So you really do remember?”  Trudy motions for me to take a seat on the bed and says “Of course I do.  You were so sweet and caring with all those flowers you didn’t think I knew were you.”  Then softer she says, “I hated what I had did to you, but you remember Martin.”  I hang my head a little and say “Yeah, I do.”  Trudy takes my hand and says “You weren’t the only one that was controlled by fear.”  Cryptic, but sincere.

As I get to work on Brady’s bed, Trudy and I talk about the old days…regrets we have, happy times we remember…loves we’ve lost.  This causes me to remember the dreams and I get quiet.  “What are you thinking?” Trudy asks me.  “I was remembering these dreams,” I tell her, “They scare me so much Trudy.”  She takes my hands in hers with true concern in her eyes and says, “Tell me about them.”

“Well Trudy, these dreams always start out the same.  I am in a crypt that I’ve built for Ebony, and I’m mourning her death.”  I take a moment to play with Brady, who has taken an interest in my thumb.  Trudy smiles at this as Brady giggles and coos.  I continue, “In the dream, Brady comes and tells me that you want me at Alice’s farm.”  Trudy nods to show she’s listening, then I go on “When I get to the farm Lex and Bray are there, they are the only ones, except for you and Brady who have been in all the dreams., they talk to me and then I go in to see you.”  I stop to wipe tears away from my eyes.  Trudy now has her head on my chest, a sign of comfort I witnessed many times between she and Martin.  “Sometimes you die in my arms, and sometimes I run off to a beach and scream at Zoot and Ebony for trying to take you from me.  This time it’s Trudy who wipes my tears.  “If I have the screaming dream it always ends with me waking up, talking to Lex like we hate each other, then Tai-San comes in to see if I’m alright, Then you usually appear like you’ve made a turn for the better…then I wake up, always.  I don’t know if there’s more to these dreams or not.”

As I start to get to work again on Brady’s bed, a huge explosion rocks the area.  A moment later Lex and Ebony run in, and Lex says “The beds gonna have to wait, we need you.”  Trudy hugs Brady close to her, and I ask her, “do you want me here?”  She puts on a brave face and says she can manage.  To Ebony’s displeasure, I kiss Trudy and Brady Then leave.  “What was that all about?”  Ebony growls.  “Comfort between friends.” I tell her, taking a lesson from her on being cryptic.

Bray, Danni and Amber, who I knew as Eagle at one time are already together when Lex, Ebony and I arrive.  It is quickly apparent to me that I’m part of a battle committee.

Cloe comes in, escorted by Bray.  “Now Cloe, tell them what you told me.”  Cloe sounds nervous, but she’s a brave one, “I’d taken Bob out for a walk when I saw these guys around the old factory.”  After a moment she says “I hid because they scared me.  They were screaming and yelling, then the explosion happened.  I’m sorry I wasn’t able to stop them.”  Bray consoles her, then he asks, “What tribe were they?”  Cloe shakes her head and says, “I don’t know.  They looked like a bunch of different ones.  Their clothes weren’t the same.”  She says again “I’m sorry I couldn’t stop them.”

I take this opportunity to try and win a few points with her.  “You did right Cloe.  Why don’t you go find Patsy and see if you can keep Trudy and Brady company.”  “But, I wanna…”  Ebony breaks in, saying, “No buts!  Now run along and do as you’re told.”  and I whisper to Ebony “That was a bit harsh.”  As Cloe leaves, avoiding me altogether.  Danni looks at me and says “That little girl is scared to death of you.”  I don’t think that Danni sees how that hurts me.

Ebony saves me by bringing the fact that we have a problem back to the forefront of everyone’s awareness.  After a few minutes discussion Amber asks “So, what do we do?”  I decide to end my silence on the matter.  “We don’t have enough good information to go on to mount an operation, I say we send some people out for Recon.”  Seems Bray and Amber agree with this, Danni reluctantly agrees, but true to form Lex and Ebony are ready to go in blind.  They start commenting on our lack of action, and I get annoyed and say “You two want to go in, gun blazing in one hand, with the other tied behind your back…Its foolish.”  I put it into terms that Ebony will understand.  “Its ‘Shooting thyself in the foot’ to do it that way and you know it.”  At a vote it’s five to one in favor of waiting, so we wait and we plan.

Chapter 4—Overdue Business

Six hours since the explosion and not a word from the recon force we sent out to gather intelligence.  The team consisted of three of Ebony’s people and Amber.

“God Ebbie, I hate this waiting.”  I say as I set up in the bed that Ebony and I have shared since the second month after my arrival.  “You’re the one wanted to wait, remember.” She says sarcastically.  “Well, I’m sorry Ebony, the next time you want to run off and get yourself killed and leave me lonely, I won’t try to protect you.”  This dance has gone on for a while now, Ebony is avoiding the source of our problem since we both came to rest.  Finally she breaks her silence.

“Why were you kissing Trudy earlier?”  Ebony is controlling her anger a great deal, but its there.  When she doesn’t get the answer straight away, she says “Well are you going to tell me or not?” For some reason this just pushes me over the edge and I scream at her “Because, before this damn virus hit I loved her, I loved her then as much as I love you now.”  Ebony starts to speak, but before she does I start again “I loved her and now she’s all alone and with a baby!  Not everyone can go through life alone as well as you can.”  More quietly I say, “I just want her to know she’s protected is all.”  From outside the room the sound of giggling can be heard.  Patsy and Cloe were listening in.  I can’t help but laugh a little.  Ebony picks on them, so I bet the enjoyed hearing her put in her place like that.  Laughing, I say "Sorry babe, I hope I didn't set your reputation back any"  In one of her rare moments, Ebony sort of laughs and says, loud enough for the girls to hear “Yeah, I guess I’ll have to be extra hard on them this week.”  We laugh some more as we here the sound of running.

After another hour of waiting I excuse myself from Ebony to clear my head.  I make my way to a spot that I like when I need to think, only to find it occupied by Danni and Alice saying something about children if the battle comes here.  Danni asks me “What do you think…what is your name anyway?”  I tell her that my real name isn’t important and that they can call me Razz.  Alice has a huge burst of laughter at this.  “If you’d rather be called Razz, your real name must be nasty.”  I look at her with a devilish look on my face and I say, “Maybe I like Razz because one Alice in the tribe is enough.”  Alice returns my devilish look and smiles, Danni has a good laugh at this.  “Well, I guess you’ll know soon enough, but my real name is Jaymes.”  Alice says “It’s a good name.”  Then she excuses herself to check on the children.

When I start to walk away Danni stops me.  “Let’s Talk.” She says.  I stop and sit back down “What’s on your mind Danni?”  I betray a small amount of nervousness at her request.  Danni is straight to the point “Why did you lie to us Jaymes?”  “I lied because I’m tired of being alone.  That and I have a history with Zoot, I was his friend in school, and I worked with the Locos every now and then.  Only when I was hungry though.”  I stop for a second then say “I was afraid that if Bray and Trudy knew I remembered my time when Zoot that they’d vote to keep me out..  I can’t take being lonely again.”  Danni shakes her head in understanding and says, “You should have trusted us to see beyond your past.  The rest are very forgiving…and I know about having a past.  My father was one of the people who created the virus.”  I think Danni expected that I was going to be angry with her because of this, but I put my parents in the ground long ago.  “I guess I should have trusted you all from the beginning, but I was afraid.  The only one who openly accepts me is Ebony.  Even the children are scared of me.  Do you know what its like to scare a little girl and not know why?”  Danni apologizes for the comment she made earlier.  “Well Danni, I have to go.  You enjoy yourself.”  Then I add:  “Danni, no matter what happens in the future, remember you are a good leader of this tribe.”  To this Danni says, “You remember not to let your demons eat at you and consume you.”

Since we’re probably about to engage in battle I decide to take care of a few things to try and get the people to accept me a little more and to dispel their fears.  First off I find Alice since she’ll be the hardest to win over.

As I arrive at the food court, I stop Alice from standing up. “What can I get for you Alice?”  “Ah, a gentleman,” she says, “Just get me a juice.”  I hand her the juice and ask if I can join her.  “Sure, least I can do for the drink.”  I nod and go ahead with the conversation.  “I think you and I have started on the wrong foot.  We never really did hit it off.”  Dryly she says “Go ahead.”  I nod, “I know that these dreams disturb you, probably more than they do most others, and that sets you off about me, but I want you to rest assured that I wouldn’t EVER do anything to hurt this tribe, or you.  I’d sooner cut off my own arm first.”  The thing I like about Alice is that she’s not one to say a lot that doesn’t need to be.  “You admit you lied to us, why do we trust you now?”  “That’s a good question, and for a better, more reliable answer I can give, you need to talk to Trudy and Bray.”  Alice thinks I’m avoiding the question and says as much.  “I’m just telling you who you can talk to that you’d be most likely to trust.”  I sigh and say “Look, I’m just looking for the chance to prove myself and to escape my past.  I just hope to make the friends here I’ve never had anywhere else.”  Alice reluctantly agrees to this.  “Okay, you’ll get the chance, but I’m going to be watching you like a hawk.”  “Good,” I tell her, “I would expect nothing less.  Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to talk to some others.”

Now for the part that I have the most fear of, I search for Lex to talk about a few things.  The first thing I learned about Lex is that when it comes to him, you know exactly how he feels about you at the moment.  Before I even have a chance to enter the room he says “This thing is all your fault ya know.”  “We should be out doing something about this, not sitting here like logs.”  I respect Lex a great deal, which is why I’d like to count him as a friend.  "What is it about me that you hate so much?”  Lex looks at me like I’m a fool for not knowing, then says “You’ve messed up our entire way of life.  We should have killed you when we had the chance.”  I give him a ‘What a moron’ look.  “I never asked you people to save me.  Bray took it on himself.  I was in a coma, I didn’t have the choice to walk away.”  Lex starts in again, “You know what, its not only that I don’t like ya, its that half these people are scared of what you’re here for, and Ebony’s losing her edge, and I know you think you’re hiding it, but I want to know what’s up with you and Amber…I know something’s going on with you two.

I show Lex a tattoo that only two other people know I have.  “Amber gave me this personally when she was known as Eagle.  She named me Wolf.”  Before Lex can start again, I say “I had sworn to live and die at her command, and to this day if Eagle orders me to fall on a sword for her, I WILL DO IT WITHOUT ASKING WHY!; that is what’s between us.”  I lost control of my anger a little there.  Lex leans in close and asks “Was Amber your woman?”  I glare at him and say “No, not ever.  She once saved me from a mob when I was near death.  She took me in, she fed me and she clothed me.  I owe her a debt that I’ll never be able to repay.”

Getting back to an earlier subject I ask “What makes you think Ebony has lost her touch?”  Lex grunts and says “This explosion for one thing.  Never would have happened if she’d been on her game.”  When I start to reply Lex yells “SHUT UP!”, then:  “And even if it had happened we’d be out doing something about it.”  I reply to him then, “So what, she’s finally got a little sense about just running in blind…”  Lex interrupts me by saying “YOU’RE TAMING HER!”  I laugh a full belly laugh at this and say “Lex, my friend, you know our little tigress keeps her claws sharp even while hiding them.”  Confused, he asks “What’s that supposed to mean?  I tell him it’s just my way of saying that a leopard never changes its spots.  A simple grunt is all I get in reply.  “Lex, one day we’ll be as close as brothers.”  Then I leave.

After getting myself a drink I go to knock on Ryan and Salene’s door.  I feel for her because of her problems in the past.  Ryan is just walking out when I knock.  “Something I can help you with?” he asks with just a hint of territorial paranoia, like I’m trying to steal her or something.  “Hey Ryan, I was just going to ask if Salene would go with me to talk to Patsy and Cloe.  They like her, so I thought maybe having her there’d be easier.”  “Why do you wanna talk to them?”  He’s very protective, if anyone were to hurt those girls Ryan would be the first in line to rip that person apart.  “Well, with us putting together a battle group I was hoping to make peace with everyone I could just in case.  I’d just like to feel accepted and like I belong before we go.”  “Yeah,” Ryan says, “Kinda makes it hard, the girls being scared and all.”  I whisper, “Yeah.”

Ryan kisses Salene goodbye and then I take a seat and ask her my question.  “Sure Jaymes, I’ll go with you.”  “Have you been having the dream lately?”  surprised, I ask her “Who told you it was getting worse?”  Salene smiles and says “Actually Patsy told me, she and Cloe sometimes sneak to your room and listen to you.  They used to dare each other to go alone since you scare them.”  This brings a bit of a smile to my face.  “Anyway, they say the last few times they’ve been there that you’ve sounded like you were in pain and repeating ‘My name is Jaymes’ over and over again”.  I look at her puzzled.  “What is it?” Salene asks.  Still puzzled I reply “That’s not part of any dream I remember.”

After getting over Salene’s revelations of a dream I can’t remember, I say to her “Salene, you seem to like me well enough, Why don’t the others?”  Salene puts a thoughtful look on her face and says “I think they like you more than they want to admit.  They’re just afraid to be made fools of.”  I give her a look of understanding.  “I’ll come get you when I’m ready to talk to Patsy and Cloe.”  Then when I get up to walk out the door I tell her “Salene, you look stunning today.”

After a brief stop to see Amber, a little talk about the old days, I make my way to Tai-San’s lab.  Alice is of course guarding it like it held the Holy Grail, which, in a sense I suppose it does.  “Can I get in to see Tai-San?”  I inquire  Alice stands a bit taller and she says “Off limits.”  I soften my eyes a bit and say “Please, just ask her.”  Alice doesn’t budge.  “Fine, ask her to find me when she’s finished.”  Alice takes that guard job too seriously.

Since there’s not much day left, I decide to go to my bed and lay down.  On my way, I see Ebony.  “Hey there She-Devil, you coming to bed soon?”  I ask.  In a half-purr she says “I’ll be along, you just get the bed warm.”

Interlude—New Dreams

 After two hours waiting for Ebony to come to bed, I decide that she isn’t, so after finding a rose, and a candle I light the candle and write her a note that says “A rose for you to make beautiful, and a candle to light your way back to me.”

 When it starts, I am shaken, in my sleep I feel the surprise at a new dream.  The surprise quickly turns to utter shock and horror, as an enemy floods the mall attacking us.  I run in to where Bray and Lex are, and meet the enemy head on.  Bray takes down two, and Lex breaks the legs of one attacker.  I let out a war howl and take down two enemy, and break the nose of a third on the upswing.  Over the noise we hear Tai-San scream a sound like death.  Lex and I turn as one.  I see the look on his face, look at him and say “Keep fighting, I’ll protect her.”

 When I get to the other side of the mall, I see seven enemy attacking the girls.  Ebony is on the ground, out of the fight, Tai-San and Danni are fighting two of them, Patsy and Cloe are doing what they can to fight off two enemy, two more enemy are trying to grab at Trudy and Brady.  I note that Alice and Ellie have taken down number seven.  I focus in on the two attacking Trudy.  I jump through the air swinging and crushing the first one’s skull, Ellie stops the second from taking me down by hitting him in the spine with a steel rod.  Alice and Tai-San have subdued the two Patsy and Cloe attacked.  Hearing Salene screaming Alice, Tai-San and Ellie run to find her.  “Patsy, Cloe, watch that door…if its not a Mallrat, I want to know if its coming towards this room.

 I move Ebony to check that she’s okay, then I go to check Trudy, who is in shock.  From behind I hear thudding noises and I turn just in time to see the ball bat that knocks me out.

 When I come to, I am locked alone naked in a room so dark I can’t see the walls.  “Ah, you’re awake.”  Says a voice from an intercom system.  “Now, where have your mallrats gone to hide?”  “Where are my clothes?” I ask.  The voice booms “ANSWER THE QUESTION!”  I refuse to answer, and after a while the voice returns.  “You aren’t protecting anyone.”  A video monitor built into the wall activates and I see Patsy, Cloe and Trudy chained to poles in a field.  Brady is strapped in front of the girls to a stone slab.  I watch as, without a word, two people come and set Patsy and Cloe on fire, then a third comes in a moment later and crushes Brady under a huge rock.  Trudy’s agonized screams replace Patsy and Cloe’s screams as they die.  Still screaming, Trudy is stabbed twice in the stomach to bleed to death as she screams at the loss of her baby.  Without remorse, the voice says “Now where are they!”  Agonized at watching Trudy die in this fashion I feel like I’m outside myself and I cry and rock back and forth.  “WHERE ARE THEY!” the voice comes again.  Not in control of myself I repeat over and over “My name is Jaymes, my name is Jaymes, my name is Jaymes.”

 I wake in a terror I’ve never felt before…ever.

Chapter 5—Finished Business and Battle

 Memories of the terrifying dream deaths of Patsy, Cloe, Trudy and Brady haunt me as I cry for two hours before Ebony wakes up.  I didn’t even realize she was here.  “Jaymes, what’s wrong?”  she asks me.  I don’t answer for a few minutes, but I stop crying and think about how soft and caring that Ebony can be moments like this when nobody else is around.  When I finally do tell her about the dream, she asks why it’s never made me cry before.  “Because I’ve never remembered it before.  Wish I didn’t now.”  Salene told me that Patsy’s heard me have the dream before.”  I expected that hearing about Patsy sneaking into our rooms at night would upset Ebony, but she just wraps her arms around me tighter.

 Rather rudely I just pick up and leave without saying much to Ebony.  Oh well, I’ll apologize later I guess.  I go and sit in the food court.  I’m just staring at the table but I hear Patsy Cloe and KC whispering about me and the dreams.  I hear Amber and Trudy tell them that sometimes bad events in life make bad dreams.

 Trudy brings Brady over and she asks me if I want to talk about it.  Finally, the dreams and the stress become too much, I start to cry again. I pick up Brady, I hug her and I say, “I’m sorry little one, I’m sorry I couldn’t help you and your momma.”  As the world goes black, I see Trudy and Eagle over me.  The last sound I hear is “Jaymes, Jaymes, are you okay?”

 I am startled awake by a noise in my room.  “Where am I?  What happened?  Oh, no, did I hurt Brady?”  Salene is there, and she puts her hands on my forehead, “Calm down, Brady’s fine.  She and Trudy are right here.”  Salene excuses herself.

 I sit up in bed to see Trudy is there and holding the baby.  Almost afraid to ask, I say “Are you sure I didn’t hurt her?”  Trudy smiles a little smile and says “No, you didn’t hurt her, but you gave us all quite a fright.  What was all that about?”  The memory gives me chills as I say coldly “Pure terror.”  Sweet Trudy always has known when some answers will have to do and mercifully doesn’t ask anything else.

 “I’m sorry Trudy, these last couple of months have been hard on me with these dreams and everything.”  Trudy takes this silently.  “Will you tell me what this one was about?”  I ask her if she’s sure she wants to know and she says she does “Okay then, I’m sorry about this, and let me say first that I think it has to do with the fact that I’m back here with you.”  she nods then I tell her about the dream, how Patsy and Cloe were murdered, then Brady was smashed (this hit her so hard) and then the way she was killed.  “They did that because I wouldn’t tell them the hiding places.  I wouldn’t tell them though, I kept repeating over and over ‘My name is Jaymes’ so I wouldn’t tell them.”

 Trudy sits over on my bed and I reach over and rub Brady’s head.  She makes happy noises.  “You know I never would’ve hurt her on purpose, right?”  I ask Trudy.  Trudy just gives me a half silly look, “Why ask me that?  Of course I know you’d not hurt her.  After I got pregnant you kept as much watch over me as anyone…even if you did try and keep it secret.”  This comment brings back memories.  Always watching to see that she was eating enough, checking to see if she was too sick.  I couldn’t do more than watch though.  Its nice to see it was appreciated, anyway.  Trudy is so much more perceptive than I give her credit for.  I thought she was just a groupie type in school, a bit of a ditz, but I loved her anyway.  I come out of my memories and ask Trudy to send in Salene.

 When she comes in, Salene seems distant, but she asks “are you feeling okay?”  “I’m fine,” I tell her, “I just had the “I’m Jaymes” dream.  “I’m glad I haven’t remembered it before.  Its horrible, more horrible than anything I’ve ever experienced.”  Salene asks me “What’s the dream about?”  I tell her the gruesome details.  Salene doesn’t handle them very well, but she stays strong.  “I’m ready to talk to the girls now, if you’ll still go with me.”  Salene hangs her head and says “I wish you could, but they disappeared while you were out.”  I look surprised “What!  How long was I out of it for Salene?”  She acts shocked that nobody told me.  “You’ve been down for about a day and a half Jaymes.”  I contain my surprise at this and Salene says “The girls went to walk Bob.  He came back three hours later, but the girls haven’t been seen.”  “We’re looking for them?”  I ask.  “Bray, Ryan, Ebony and Lex went.  They’ve reported back and left again.”  She says.  I place my hand on her knee and say “You must be worried.”  “They’re just so little, and they’re all alone.” She says.  I look at her softly and say “I meant worried for Ryan.”  Salene smiles at this, but she doesn’t hide her concern well.

 After I tell Salene I’m fine and she leaves I spend time wondering if Ebony is okay.  I tell myself the Ebony is a warrior and is fine but the thought is still little comfort to me.

 “May I come in?”  I look to the door and I see Eagle standing there.  Following an old custom I get up, fall to my knees and say “Yes Tribemistress, it would be my honor.”  She enters with a laugh.  “Get up.  This is a new tribe.  I’m not Eagle anymore than you’re still Wolf.  We’re Amber and Jaymes of the Mallrats now.”  I nod.  Eagle and I have a history and a friendship formed on common loss of other homes.”  I rub my shoulder where the spirit tattoo she gave me resides.

 “So, do you know what the trouble is?” she asks me.  “You’ve always been troubled by nightmares when you’re stressed out.”  I nod, Eagle knows me very well, and has an excellent memory.  “I think it’s being back here around Trudy…especially know that she knows I remember her.”  I say.  “That and your love for Trudy affecting your feelings for Ebony.  Does she know how much you care for Trudy?”  when she says this, we both laugh.  Ebony hates Trudy, we know how she’d react to knowing I had feelings for Trudy.  “Not even Trudy knows how deep my feelings go.”

 I have been thinking long and hard about the next thing I say.  Only one other time has what I’m about to ask been shared, it is between Eagle and Wolf, a bond which cannot be broken.  When she bonded me to her in this fashion years ago, we were both shaken, I believe we still are to an extent.  I look at her seriously and I say “can I ask you a question?”  the same way she did those years ago.  she looks at me with a silly expression, obviously not seeing it and says “You know you can.  Anything.”  The next thing I say is a ritual wording from Eagle herself to bond us to each other:  “I ask this question not as Jaymes to Amber, but I ask as Wolf to Eagle.  If anything should ever happen, will you, Eagle promise me that you’ll protect Trudy and Brady if I can’t?”  she is as shocked by this now as I was when she bonded me to protect her with my life, but still she says “As Eagle to Wolf, I swear it.”  I bring out my knife and I place a cut on my left shoulder at the front and then my right hand, I pass the knife to Eagle and she does the same.  We then place our cut hands on each others cut shoulders.  Going along with the ritual we say together:  “The circle of blood is our bond, through it we pass our burdens, our loves, our promises, our selves.  Through the blood we share our hardships and we share our celebrations.  If there is no us, the circle is not complete.  The one must shoulder the burden of the two.  We protect each other, for the circle is our bond.”  Amber leaves quickly.  She is obviously as disturbed by the ritual as I was when I promised to protect her life with my own.  To this day though, the only way Eagle will die is if I die first.

 Tai-San enters a moment later saying that Alice told her I was looking for her.  From her face, she heard Amber and I.  “Go ahead and ask Tai-San.”  She smiles thoughtfully and says “That was a ritual from your old tribe?”  I shake my head back and forth “No, only Eagle and Wolf share that ritual.  Its not something to be entered into lightly, and I expect you to keep what you’ve heard a secret, even from Amber and I.”  She has other questions but won’t ask them.  “Why did you need me?”  the change of subjects is welcome “I was hoping, Tai-San, that I could find out where you and I stand on trust.”  She looks at me thoughtfully and says “Yours is a bright aura.  Your soul is not violent except where it must be to protect yourself, or those you love, even then you detest the violence”  taking a breath she continues, “Yours is not a soul to be distrusted.  No soul with as much pain as yours can betray another.”  Then she adds:  “Each of us has secrets, even from ourselves.  Yours are not dangerous.”  I look at her and say “Cryptic.”  “I have faith in you” Tai-San says as she leaves.

 I choose a good time to come down, as a commotion announces the return of Lex, Bray, Ryan and Ebony.  They’ve come back empty handed.  There are too many people asking too many questions as I take up a seat beside Trudy at a table.  Brady giggles and wraps her little fingers around one of mine.  I look at Trudy and say “At least she’s not holding a grudge.”  Trudy smiles as Ebony calls for quiet.

 “We’ve found where they are.” Bray says.  “They’re a couple of miles out beyond the bridge.”  Ebony takes over saying “We’re going to rest a while then organize some of my people and go back out.”  Salene is the first to ask what’s really on everyone’s mind “how are Patsy and Cloe?”  Ryan answers with “Yeah, the girls looked okay, probably scared though.”

 After the recap, everyone eats and goes to rest a while.  I escort Ebony back to our room and when we’re at the door I ask “Do you want me to go?”  “No, stay with me.”  When we climb into bed, Ebony speaks first “What happened yesterday?”  I look at her and say “these dreams are getting the best of me.  I just lost it a little bit.”  Ebony cuddles to me and says “I’m going to tell you something that I’ll deny if you EVER repeat.”  After I promise to keep her secret, Ebony says “You scared me.  I didn’t know what to do.  I lit our candle so you’d find your way back to me.”  I hug her tight and thank her and then I ask “What do I need to take with me when we go back out?”  Ebony bolts up in bed at this and says “You ARE NOT going!  You’re in no condition.”  I start to protest and Ebony says “Bray and Lex agree.  You’re staying here to watch over the girls.  Alice will go with us and you and Amber will stay here to secure the mall.”  To this, I say “Okay Ebbie, lets just go to sleep.”  When I know she’s asleep I hug her a little tighter and say “I love you Ebony.”

 Ellie’s voice wakes us from our sleep “EMERGENCY!  Everyone wake up, EMERGENCY they’re getting in!”  Ebony and I jump out of bed at the same time.  I grab my weapon’s belt and start running. I stop just outside the door to our room and catch Ebony as she comes out.  I kiss her forehead and say “Find your way back to me.”

 The battle is joined quickly as we find Lex, Bray and Danni near the mall entrance.  Danni has just crushed the throat of an attacker and Bray and Lex have driven back three more.  Ebony takes up position beside Danni and I turn to find Amber has my back.  “Are Trudy and Brady secure?” I yell.  Amber, breaking the ribs of an enemy says, “Yes, Salene and Tai-San are with them, Jack and KC are at the door.”  I nod as I fight off a particularly strong enemy and then say “where are Ellie and Alice?”  “Ellie’s making sure everybody’s up, and Alice and is backing her up.  They’ll make their way to Salene and Tai-San and the rest.  I hear a yell as Lex goes down from a blow to the head.  The sound was Ryan powering his way through a crowd of enemy.  Cloe was right, these are outcasts or something.  None of their costumes match up.

 The battle rages for nearly three hours with neither side gaining an advantage until Ryan is knocked out, and Bray is incapacitated with a damaged knee.  Still the tide is in our favor and we drive them back.  Then everything hits the fan.  I see Ebony overpowered by 3 guards.  As I’m on my way to her, a scream catches my attention and I turn to see Trudy and Brady being held by several enemy.  The lead attacker orders a retreat.

 “Help Me!” Trudy screams, “Don’t let them take us.”  Then I hear Ebony yell for help. I am torn apart inside, its as though time stops.  They are trying to take both my loves from me.  “Jaymes, Help me!” Ebony screams, then Trudy screams “Don’t let them hurt my baby!”  from behind I hear “What do we do?”  I look back and forth between Ebony and Trudy, then with agony on my face, I look at Amber, with tears in my eyes and say “Eagle! remember your promise.”  She knows what I mean, because as one we jump Trudy’s captors, each of us killing one, Trudy knocks one to the ground allowing me to crush his skull.  The remaining attacker run empty handed.  The last of the attackers runs carrying an unconscious Ryan out of the mall

 In the wake of battle I’m thankful that we saved Trudy and Brady, then I remember that Ebony was taken.  It’s as if the world’s gone silent as I sink to my knees and I start to scream.

Chapter 6—Aftermath and Demon’s Pact

 In the aftermath of battle I was unreachable.  For four days there was agony and tears without end over my decision to save Trudy and Brady while letting my Ebony be captured.  The tears stopped eventually, but I was a while longer running the course of doubt and despair to get back to normal.

 Salene and Alice took double duty taking care of me.  In the morning Salene would remove plates of food I didn’t eat, and would change half drank glasses of water or juice.  in the midday and night Alice would bring more food and drinks.  They both tried to talk to me but I wouldn’t respond to them, even though I heard everything.  I vaguely recall the second day Trudy bringing Brady in to try and rouse me.  Finally just thanking me for saving them and leaving.

 Tai-San even came once when she got feeling better, read my aura and reported accurately to Ellie and Alice that I was there, but my soul was ‘crying hard tears’  an appropriate description indeed.  Ellie and Jack tried to bring me around but nothing worked.  Bray even came in trying to get me out of it with talk of the old days, but when your will to live is gone and your hearts given in to despair, its hard to be brought out by anything.

 Over the course of the week I think everyone came in, but it wasn’t until at last Amber came in that I was shocked back to life.  First Amber talked to me about our time in our old tribe.  Seeing that this didn’t work, she started to talk about her own life before the virus, a thing we did often, but I still stared into space without moving.  Finally Amber says “Wolf!”, a pause Wolf, this is Eagle…you owe me a debt!  I’m here to collect it.”  Not even this stirred me from my anguish.  Like in a tunnel I hear Amber say to someone “I can only think of one other thing.”  “What’s that Amber?”  Amber sounds almost sad in my half delirious state as she says “Something he’d never refuse, but I’m afraid in his state what he’ll do.  Everyone else should clear out.”  There’s a pause then Amber, in a voice of command says “Wolf, PROTECT ME!”  memories of the blood bond come screaming back to me as these words strike me like a fist.  Its as though with these words that my body is not my own, so deep is my conditioning to them.  I twist in my bed, grab a weapon and jump at the door as I identify the first thing in sight that isn’t Eagle.  She reaches out and catches me in mid air, knocking me to the ground.  When I come fully to myself I see that if she hadn’t caught me I’d have taken out Alice.

 I look up to find most of the remaining tribe, including Dal, back from the farm, standing at my door.  Alice is first in the crowd and says “Welcome back Jaymes.  That was good work during the fight.  Maybe I won’t watch you quite as close anymore.”  I manage a polite smile, but the only thing I can muster to say is “My Ebony is still gone and it’s all my fault.”

 Everyone leaves when they find out I’m alright.  The thing about having awareness shocked back into you is that you get to remember all over again the things that hurt you in the first place.  I don’t allow myself to cry the tears, but the pain, the not knowing, those are horrible questions to have on your mind, that and the worst question of all:  Could I have done more?  It’s this question that I spend two hours dwelling on until I get hungry.

 I walk through the mall seeing signs of the battle everywhere.  I grab a sandwich when I get to the food court and sit at my favorite table.  Tai-San smiles and pats my shoulder as she leaves for a morning herb gathering.  “I’ll be back later if you need to talk.”

 Bray comes down the steps, walking carefully on the hurt leg.  He sits down at my table.  “How’s the leg?” I ask.  “It’ll heal, but I’m out of commission for a while.”  I nod.  “Who else are we down?”  Bray looks down at the table.  He’s not saying it, but he’s blaming himself for all this.  He’s wondering if he’s a good enough leader.  “Patsy and Cloe were already gone, Lex got busted good to the head, Danni got a broken arm out of the deal, Ryan was taken…and of course, Ebony.”  The silence hangs on the air just a moment, then Bray extends his hand “I want to thank you for saving my niece when I wasn’t able.  Anything you ever need, I owe you a debt.”  I reply “You owe me nothing old friend.  They mean almost as much to me as they mean to you.”  “Still” Bray says.  “Anything you ever need.”  Then he tells me about the note.  “They’re all alive.  The note said that sometime soon  they’d ask for what they want.  Our people are safe until then.”  Bray lets me finish my meal in silence then says “You should go surprise Trudy and Brady.  They don’t know you’re awake yet.”  I tell him I’ll do that.  “Trudy hasn’t eaten since you’ve been down.  She’s been feeding Brady, but that’s it.”  I nod, then I say “Bray, I’d like a meeting called for tonight, everyone there.”  He agrees, with the exception of Lex, who isn’t in the condition.

 I load a tray with fruit and place a flower in the middle, and walk to Trudy’s room where I find she and Brady both sleeping.  I sit the tray on the table beside the bed then carefully I climb into the bed with her and wrap my arms around her, carefully and slowly so I don’t wake her up.   I’ve been there about twenty minutes when Brady starts to fuss a little bit, so I very slowly get up and pick Brady up from her basket.  I bounce her and I hum her a tune.  “Hey little one, lets let your mommy sleep for a while, huh?  She’s had a hard few days from the sound of it.”  I pat her, and I rock her back and forth and I look at Brady and say “It scared me when you and your mommy were in trouble.  I love her little one.  I love you too.  I don’t know if I could take her being gone.”  I rub her hair and say “I won’t let anything happen to you.”  When I get Brady calmed again and put her in her basket I hear “We love you too.”

 I pick up the tray and bring it over to the bed.  “Bray tells me someone hasn’t been eating.”  Trudy explains that she did it out of some show of support.”  I look at her in a scolding manner. “You shouldn’t have done that Trudy.  You have Brady to think about.  What’s she to do if you get yourself sick?”  “I was fine Jaymes.”  “Still Trudy, you take a chance leaving that baby without a mother…and all because of me?  I don’t like it.”  Trudy doesn’t say any more, she picks up some fruit and sniffs the flower.  Then a serious look takes her features.

 “During the battle,” Trudy asks “What did you mean when you said ‘Eagle, remember your promise’ to Amber?”  I reply “Its not important Trudy, didn’t mean anything.”  “No!  Right after you said it, both of you went crazy on the people holding me while letting Ebony, your own woman, be captured.  Now tell me what it meant.”  I start slow, this is not a subject I want to talk about.  “Amber and I are friends from before.  We have bonds between us that we call on from time to time.”  Trudy asks “What bonds are those?”  I won’t tell her at first.  “What bonds are you talking about?”  I’m still hesitant, but if I can’t trust Trudy, I can’t trust anyone.  “I am spirit bound to her to protect her with my life.  She is spirit bound to me to protect you and Brady with hers.  Trudy protests this saying she doesn’t want to feel like she owes Amber anything.  I shake my head and I say “This bond is between Eagle and Wolf, not Amber and Jaymes and not Amber and Trudy.  She will not move unless I ask it, or I die…and she will ask nothing in return.”

 After I tell Trudy about the tribe meeting, I say I should go and leave she and Brady to themselves for a while.  “Are you sure you won’t stay for a bit longer?”  “I wish I could, but I have things to take care of before the meeting.”  “Okay then.” She says, then adds “Bye.”  Trudy holds little Brady’s arm and moves it in a waving motion.  “Goodbye my little ladies.” I say to them, then walk out.  I stop to hear her say “He’s just like your uncle Bray.”  Hmm, a hard comparison to live up to.

 Tai-San stands as I approach Lex’s door.  She speaks first “How are you feeling?”  I shake it off.  “I’m fine, I’m here to see about Lex.  How is he?”  Tai-San sighs as a tear falls down her cheek, a rare thing to see from her.  “I’ve done everything I know and he’s not getting any better.  I should be able to do more.”  My heart sinks for her because her pain mirrors my own at letting Ebony be captured.  I embrace her and say “don’t do this to yourself ‘San, sometimes you run on a situation only fate can resolve.”  Then I tell her “Lex is a warrior, a born fighter.  He’ll be back with you soon.  You can’t kick yourself because you’ve run out of choices and an event has been taken from your control.”  Despite herself Tai-San smiles and says “Ebony is strong too.  You’ll get her back in quick order.”  It’s my turn to smile.  We sit in silence for a few minutes, then I say “I’ve been rude.  How are your injuries?”  “Cuts, and scrapes, nothing serious.  Others were hurt worse.”  I kiss her on the forehead, “Its all my fault ‘San…I’m sorry.”  Before she can say anything I walk away.

 I go to search out Danni and find her in her room.  Salene and Alice are there.  Salene looks okay, but seems distant  I’m told she took a nasty shot to the ribs.  They thought for a while she damaged a lung, it was just a bruise.  It strikes my attention that nobody told me if Alice was injured.  “May I speak to Danni alone please?”  Salene and Alice leave.  Alice comments again that its nice to see me better, Salene doesn’t say anything to me.  I look to Danni and say “I don’t know why they keep asking me that, everybody’s asking and I wasn’t even injured.”  Then I ask “How bad were you hurt?”  Danni holds up her arm and says “one of them got a lucky shot and broke my arm.  I’ve had worse, it’ll heal.”  “What can I do to help?”  I ask her.  Danni declines my offer to help her saying “I’m fine, and you’ve got your own problems.”  I nod an agreement “You’re right, that’s why I’m coming to hard decisions.”  With a confused look she says “Decisions about what?”  “When I’m ready Danni.”  I turn to leave then say “I’m sorry I got you and everybody else hurt Danni.”  She stops me as I leave and says “Jaymes, remember what I said about inner demons.  Doubt is one of those.”

 I got back to the food court for a drink.  I see Alice and Ellie sitting at a table talking.  Jack is talking to Dal and Amber and KC is playing a game.  Salene is at a table by herself.  I get a cup of water and go to the table.  “Mind if I sit down?”  I ask her.  Salene responds in a short tone of voice “Whatever you want to do.”  Shocked, I ask her “Are you okay Salene?”  “What do you think?” she shoots back.  “Where were you when Ryan was getting captured?  NOWHERE!, you left him to be taken, but when sweet little Trudy was taken you just jumped!  You even let your own woman be taken.”  The entire food court Alice, Ellie, Jack, Dal, Amber and KC are all totally silent.  “Salene I…”  “SHUT UP!  You let us all get injured, except Alice cause she was lucky.  All of us, except YOU, yet for a week we had to nurse you through another one of your ‘moods’.”  Salene storms off.  When I look up, I see everyone staring at me questioningly.  “She’s right, and it makes my decisions that much easier.”  I hurriedly return to my room.

After what seems an eternity of renewed regrets over letting the tribe down, Bray knocks and comes in.  “I heard what happened, are you alright?”  I look up from a book I found, a story of a bitter future on a desert world, and families, much like our tribes battling for control, a look of hard thoughts consuming me and say “No, I’m not alright, but Salene is correct, I let the tribe down, I could’ve done more.”  Bray sits and says “We all could’ve done a little more Jaymes, but you saved Trudy and the baby, that’s the important thing.”  With rage on my face I half yell, “I was selfish Bray!  I saw her in danger and I just leapt.  I’ll tell you something, I never even thought about Ebony.”  Bray cuts in “But you saved the baby!”  “Bray, Trudy isn’t my woman!  I had no right!”  holding his tone low Bray says “You may not be able to see it, Salene may not see it, but the decision you made was the right one.”  In a low whisper I say “You wouldn’t think so if it’d not been Brady I saved.”  Bray ignores this comment tells me the meetings ready.  “Okay Bray.  Would you please have the meeting moved to the spot where Ryan was taken?”  Bray gives me an odd look and asks “That’s a bit cruel isn’t it?”  “It’ll make sense Bray, and I hope to win some points with this too.  I’ll be along in a moment."

 When everything is gathered, I find the remaining Mallrats gathered at the spot Ryan was captured.  I get started right in.  “I’ve asked everyone here for two reasons.  First, I’d like everyone to participate in a ceremony of hope for our missing and second, I have an announcement to make.”  I ask that everyone make a circle around the spot Ryan was taken from and I place a large candle in the middle.  I quite deliberately sit beside Salene in the circle.  I bring four flowers out of the bag I have with me.  “As I pass the flowers around the circle I want us each to think about all the people we’re missing.  Salene, when each flower reaches you I want you to place them so they form a circle around the candle.”  There are tears as the flowers are passed from person to person.  When the last flower is passed around the candle I light the candle and ask everyone to hold hands and close their eyes.  I recite a ceremonial wording I worked over in my head over the course of the day.  “We come together in fellowship this night in this place where our honored friend was taken to ask that the candle carry our thoughts and our prayers to our lost friends.  We ask that the candle serve as a beacon to light their way home to us.  Four flowers to signify our four lost friend:  Cloe, Patsy, Ebony, Ryan.  May they hear our prayers wherever there are and may the power be with them to endure and to bring them back to us.”  After this is said, I bring up to other flowers of a different sort and I say “In remembrance of those still injured.  Danni, Lex.  May the power be with them and help them heal quick and strong.”  I lay the two flowers flat in front of the candle.  “We burn this light until all our friends are home.”

 For the announcement I ask that we return to the common area.  “We won’t soil this place of homage.”  When we get to the main stairs where most meetings take place, all eyes are on me.

 “I don’t know how to say this other than to just say it, so here goes:  Salene made a point to me today.”  I pause for effect.  “My feelings for Trudy and Brady get in the way of my clear thinking.”  I notice the slight hurt on Trudy’s face.  I hate it, but it has to be done this way.  “A week ago I let my feelings overrule me and I let the tribe down, something I can’t promise I’ll never do again if Trudy or Brady are in danger.  That is why I’ve come to a decision.”  They’re all looking between me and each other now.  “I have decided that as soon as we get everyone back, I’m leaving the tribe.  I let down everyone, I let down Ebony, Patsy, Cloe and Ryan.”  I take a few seconds to catch my breath.  “I couldn’t stay focused and then afterwards you all had to look after me again because of my mood swings.”  I notice my tears and wipe them away.  “I’m so sorry Salene.  I’m sorry I lost Ryan, Tai-San, I’m sorry Lex is injured, Bray I’m sorry about Danni.”  I stop a second then I say “Thank you all for coming…I’m sorry I wasn’t good enough.”  As I leave I hear murmurs behind me.

 Now its time for my own private ceremony.  I sit on the edge of mine and Ebony’s bed and think about how I let her down.  “May the candle carry my prayers.”  I think to myself, then I write another note telling her to find her way home.

 Salene appears at my door and knocks.  “Were you asleep?”  I look up from the candle to see she’s been crying.  “Well,” I think “We’ve all been crying, she’s certainly allowed.”  I say to her “No, Salene, I’ve just been thinking hard thoughts.  Will you come in?”  Salene comes and sits down.  I’m not sure what to say to her, but thankfully she speaks first.  “Jaymes, I’m sorry for the way I spoke to you earlier, I shouldn’t have done it.”  I place my hand on her shoulder and say “No Salene, you were right, I let him down.”  Salene places her hand on my lips and says “No, I’m just lonely and scared for him.  You saved Brady.  Ryan would have done the same thing, even if it had meant me getting captured.”  Then she says “You did the right thing.”  She pauses for a moment, looking like she’s trying to stop tears from flowing.  “besides,” she says “You have your own hurt over Ebony missing.  I shouldn’t have belittled that by thinking my pain was worse.”  I look at her, hurt a little.  “Salene, you don’t have to nurse me through this.  Its not hurting.”  I think about how many times, for how many people, she’s done this very thing she’s doing now.  “Salene tries to keep everyone happy, but when Salene is sad, who’s there for her?”  “What?” she says.  “Its time you let us take care of you Salene.  You need to grieve your missing just like the rest of us.”  I place an arm around her as we sit on the bed and I say “Here, lets do this.”  Confused, Salene says “Do what?”  I take the note I wrote Ebony from beside the candle and I write on it.  ‘And please bring Ryan home with you.”  Salene can’t contain it anymore and she gets up as tears start, but she holds them long enough to say “We all love you Jaymes, don’t leave because of something I said when I was upset.  Please.”  The tears flow as she leaves.

 KC comes in, sent by Alice to see if I need anything.  “Alice sent you?”  I ask in disbelief.  “Yeah, she said to drop everything I was doing and come right up, like I’m a waitress or something.”  KC makes me laugh like I haven’t laughed in a while.  “I’m fine KC, tell Alice.”  Then: “So, what do you think about all this KC?  Quite blunt KC says “Well, I don’t like you, but Lex respects you, so that’s enough for me.  That and its been a lot quieter without Ebony here.”  As soon as he says it, his eyes go wide “I didn’t mean it like that, you know I didn’t.”  I stare at him for just a second, then laugh out loud, “Ah, don’t worry KC, I know what you mean.”  KC hurries off.

 The next few days are uneventful.  We finally get the mall cleaned up from the battle.  Lex is still in his coma, Bray is getting better, his limp hardly noticeable now.  Salene is in good spirits and she and I are still on good terms and Trudy and I are getting closer.  Our people are still missing, and no further notes have been received.  Our teams found their trail two days ago, but the attackers must have known they were being followed, because when our people rested the night, the attackers disappeared with a note saying the captives would die if we tried this again.  The note had one of Ebony’s braids with it.  With Salene’s help I tied the braid into my own hair as a sign of remembrance and love.  It looked stupid, but as I told Patsy, sometimes you do odd things in the name of love.  The pain of losing her and the others is still there, but by throwing myself into work both in the mall and on the farm I don’t have time to dwell much on it.

 As another night falls, I go to the roof of the mall and watch the stars. The air is warm, with just a hint of a breeze on the night air.  The kind of night I used to love before the virus.  Its here watching the night and thinking, that Trudy finds me and sits down beside me, the smell of her hair the perfect compliment to this perfect night.  “Where’s Brady?”  I ask.  Trudy smiles and says “Salene offered to watch her for a little while.  I think she lonely.”  “Ah, and what brings you out under the stars this evening Trudy?”  She puts her head on my shoulder and says “Do you remember that dance at school?  Not the last one, but the one before?”  I shake my head “No, I didn’t go.”  Trudy, her eyes sparkling in the moonlight says “I know.  You wanted so much to ask me, but you didn’t and then you didn’t go.  That was a night just like this one.”  I gaze at Trudy thoughtfully.  That was a night like this one.  She remembers so much.  Interrupting my thoughts she asks “Why didn’t you ask me?”  I reply with “Would you have said yes?  You were waiting for Bray to ask you out.  You said so that time on the phone.”  Reaching back she clicks a button and I hear my favorite slow song.  “Where did you find this?  How did you know?”  I ask surprised at hearing the song after so long.  “You used to sing it all the time, and I found it in Lex’s collection.  Now, are you going to ask me?”  I’m stunned and my voice betrays it.  “What?…But I…”  she gives me a look that’s pure Trudy and says “Fine then, I’ll do it.  Jaymes will you dance with me?”  Words fail me and I just stand up and let myself feel the moment.  It was a moment of pure joy in my Trudy’s arms and she in mine that seemed to both last forever and end far too soon.  As the song came to an end she kissed me softly and said “I was right.”  Still caught up in the moment I ask “Right about what?”  Trudy smiles a secretive smile and says “Ask me again sometime.”  Trudy begins to kiss me again and I her.  The mood starts to get more intense and as it does I stop her.  “Trudy I can’t, it just isn’t right.”  “Jaymes, she isn’t here.”  I reply “I know Trudy, but when…if she comes back what would?…it just isn’t fair to either of us.  I can’t…I won’t do that to you.”

 I leave in a hurry, both afraid I’ve hurt Trudy, and afraid to let her see my pain.  I make my way in the dark to my room and lay down.  I don’t feel like I’ve been asleep any time when a whispered voice wakes me up.  “Who’s there?” I say in the darkness.  “Quiet.  Do not speak, only listen.” The voice orders.  That voice...it can't be!  “What are you doing here?  I thought you were dead.”  A chuckle. “so do most people.  It suits me.”  Still not believing it I say “What if they find you here?  Are you insane?”  another chuckle “Some think so.”  Almost scared, I ask “Why are you here?”  “I come to give information.  The people you seek are straight east of here, 5 miles.  They move in odd patterns daily to confuse watchers.”  I ask accusingly “How do you know this?  Are you involved?”  the answer in an amused tone is “I am involved only in that I watch.”  Then the person says “I will do what I can to slow them down.  I did not say this, I was never here.”  Still accusing I ask “Why are you doing this?”  the voice came back serious.  “I do this because you saved my daughter.”  Then he disappeared.

Chapter 7—The Long Wait

 Three months have past since our people were taken.  Pictures have been sent weekly as proof that our people are alright.  They are always made to hold a copy of Ellie’s newssheet to prove that they aren’t old pictures.  We are all still pained over our missing, but life goes on as best it can.  Lex came out of his coma about 3 weeks after the ceremony for the missing and injured.  Tai-San is rarely as happy as she was that day and in the following few.

 I’ve just made it in from a day of work on the farm with Dal, and I finished a nice meal that Trudy cooked for me.  Bray finds me as I make my way to see that the sewers are secure.  “Something up Bray?” I ask him.  “Just wanted to talk a second.”  I grab a couple of old crates and hand him one to use as a chair.  “What’s on your mind Bray?”  he says “You and Trudy have gotten a lot closer these last few weeks.” He says.  “I’ll take good care of her Bray.  I know she and Brady are family.” Bray shakes his head and laughs a little.  “Its not that, I know you’ll watch after them, I was just thinking that Lex and Tai-San will be back from their trip in a day or so.  Maybe you and Trudy could use some time away.  I look at Bray then say “No, I really need to be here to help the work.”  Bray says “Don’t worry about it, you’ve done your share, more than your share really, and besides, Lex will be here.”  Reluctantly I ask “Are you sure?”  “Take her somewhere and enjoy yourselves Jaymes, she needs it and you’ve earned it.”

 “Jaymes, can I talk to you a second?”  “Sure Jack, just help me check the sewers.  Jack walks with me, checking the corridors and passages as we go.  “What do you need Jack?”  I ask him.  Visibly nervous he says “Well its kind of personal, its…well, its about Ellie.”  “Ah,” I say “Well, fire away buddy, I’ll see what I can do.”  Stammering his way through it he says “Well, I like her, a lot actually, and I’m not sure how to show her.”  Then adds:  “I see how you are with Trudy, well I thought you could help me out.”  Thinking for a minute, I say “What I do sometimes is find a flower when I’m out and bring it to her room while she’s out and leave the flower on her pillow with a note that says I just thought that wearing the flower in her hair would make it beautiful’, or something like that.”  “That’ll really work then?”  “Well Jack, its all part of a process.  That, along with complimenting her for no reason, and doing little things for her, meals in bed, romantic walks, long talks, that sort of thing, but girls usually enjoy those sorts of things.”  I say, then add:  “I make no promises but I got Ebony warmed up to me.”  Jack chuckles “Must be good then.”

 As soon as Jack leaves Danni steps out from the shadows.  She’s been pitching in again since her arm’s better.  “See Jaymes, even with your past they’re starting to trust you.  It was all just a matter of time.”  I nod and say “Yes they are.”  “Jack still pining for Ellie?” Danni inquires.  “Yeah, I was actually surprised he came to me for advice.”  Danni gives me a sly, almost flirty look and says “Why are you surprised.  You’re a romantic at heart.”  This gets a red faced look of embarrassment from me.  “So,” Danni says, “Bray tells me you and Trudy are going on a trip.”  This gets a growl from me, shocking Danni a little. “What is it Jaymes?”  “I haven’t talked to her about it yet.  Guess I’d best be doing that before she hears it from somebody else.  You know where she is Danni?”  “She left a bit ago.  She was taking Brady to the river.”  My eyes go wide “WHAT! Alone?”  I’m at a full run before Danni even asks what’s wrong.

 I leave the sewers, and I turn a corner running headlong into Alice and Amber.  As I pick myself up off the ground, Alice asks “What’s the hurry Jaymes?”  “Have you seen Trudy and Brady?  I have to find them.”  Amber says “Calm down Jaymes we just passed them a few minutes ago.  What’s wrong?”  As I try to run, Amber and Alice actually restrain me. “Jaymes, what is it?”  Amber asks again.  “I have to get to them, he can’t find them out here.” I say, Then:  Amber, Please let me go, I have to find them.”

 After nearly ten fear filled minutes I finally catch up to Trudy pushing Brady in her stroller.  “Trudy, what are you doing out here walking around all by yourself?”  Not taking me sincerely she says “I’m not alone, I have Brady here to protect me.” Angry, I say “TRUDY!  This is serious!  With all the people on the loose out here you and Brady could get really hurt!”  I yelled a little louder than I intended to and woke up Brady, who starts to cry.  Trudy starts to get her and I stop her.  “I’m sorry honey, let me.”  I pick Brady up and rock her in my arms.  “I’m sorry little girl,” I say to her softly.  “I didn’t mean to yell.”  I walk over beside Trudy and say to Brady “See baby, everything’s better now.”  When she calms down I place Brady back in the stroller and Trudy starts pushing her again.  “I’m sorry Trudy, I just don’t want to see you or the baby hurt.”  Trudy lovingly says “Its okay.  You’re so good to us Jaymes.”

 When we get to the river, Trudy lays Brady on the ground and brings out a basket of food.  “I only packed for two,” she says, “But I’ll share mine.”  “Its okay Trudy, I’m not really all that hungry.”  “Are you sure you don’t want anything.”  “I’m sure.”  I smile because Trudy always sounds like a mother when it comes to things like that.  While she eats and feeds Brady I say to her “Bray made an interesting suggestion today.”  “Oh really, what was that?”  She asks.  “He said that you and I should take a few days away when Lex and Tai-San get back.”  Trudy thinks on this a while then asks “But who’d watch after Brady?”  “Well,” I say, “She could always go with us.”  Trudy says “We’ll see”

 After an hour or so, Trudy decides its time to go home.  On the way, I glimpse a hooded figure that disappears when it catches me watching.  I don’t see him again.  When we get back, the tribe is assembled.  All with hard looks on their faces.

 “What is it?  Is there news on Ryan and the others?”  Trudy asks.  Bray looks up from his drink and says “No, this is for an in house problem.”  Everyone is staring at me, its very uncomfortable.  “Amber and Alice told us about your little encounter earlier.”  Puzzled, I say “I was worried about Trudy, that’s all.”  “Its not your actions we have a problem with, its your wording that the tribe is finding interesting.” Bray says.  I look at him weird and say “WHAT?!”  Salene breaks in, “Jaymes, we’re not here to accuse you of anything, we just want to know if something’s going on.”  Then she says “You said “HE can’t find them out there, not THEY can’t find them out there.  What were you worried about?”  God, I made a mistake.  What do I do now?  They’ll never understand if I tell them what I think is happening.  At my hesitation Danni says “Jaymes, remember, you’ve just gained the trust, keeping it is just as hard.”  Trudy is even starting to look suspiciously at me now.  “Please, don’t make me do this, I beg you.  Please.”  This time Amber speaks “Jaymes, I can hear in your voice this hurts.  Trust us to help you through it.” “Amber, I can’t do this.  Bray, this is not necessary.”  Bray says “We’ll decide that when you tell us.”  I wait, still not saying anything, then Amber speaks again “Wolf, you need to share this with us.”  She called me Wolf, that can only mean they’ll never trust me again if I don’t speak.  Hanging my head, I say “Since the attack on the mall I’ve received three visits from a person giving me information about our people.  The information is good, if not timely.  I’ve tracked the leads myself and found remains of camps.”  Salene asks “Why wouldn’t you tell us that?  What’s so bad?”  It’s a few breaths before I continue.  “The person giving me this information never gives his name, I’ve never seen his face.  He claims that he’s helping me because during the battle I saved his daughter.”

 For a moment everyone is confused.  Bray and Trudy both get it at the same time.  Trudy speaks first “HE’S DEAD!  He went straight off the side of a building!”  Bray interrupts her, “There’s no way its him.  I saw his body, we burnt it even.  I don’t know who it is, but it’s not Martin.”  I look at him and say loudly “I know that!  That’s why I didn’t say anything.  There’s no reason to scare everyone, especially Trudy, over someone we all agree that this person CANNOT BE!”  Bray shoots back “If you don’t think its him why were you so scared earlier?”  I laugh straight out loud, amazed that Bray doesn’t get it.  Sarcastically and condescending, I say “Well, this guy is claiming to be Zoot, and on the chance, no matter how remote it may be, it actually is him, I’d rather not have Trudy and Brady be left alone.”  To hurt him, I say “and some of us seem to care a little more for that baby’s safety than do others.”  Amber breaks in “That was low Jaymes.”  “Look,” I say “Do with me what you will.  I was just trying to look out for safety and keeping things peaceful at the same time.”

 I go outside because I’m in a mood to throw things I won’t have to clean up.  I’ve been at this a while when from behind me I hear “Aren’t you a little old to be throwing tantrums?”  “I’d rather not talk to you right now Amber.”  “Fine then, don’t” she says.  “I’ll talk, you throw things and listen.”  “What do you want Amber?”  she grabs me by the arm and forcefully turns me to face her. “You can’t keep doing this to yourself Jaymes!  We just wanted to talk and you expected the worst of us all.”  Then she says “You probably think I’m here to tell you we voted you out, don’t you?”  “Aren’t you Amber?”  Softer, calmer, she says “No Jaymes, we never even talked about that.  Bray and Danni wouldn’t hear it, said they’d leave the tribe with you.  That was before you and Trudy had even come back.”  “And what would you have done Amber?” I ask her  "I would have stayed.  But only until Tai-San and Lex got back."

 “How’s Trudy taking this?” I ask.  Amber hugs me softly and says “she doesn’t understand why you ran out here instead of talking to her.”  “How do I explain this to her Amber?”  she takes my hand and says “Just go to her.  The words will come.  It really doesn’t matter what you say, she needs YOU, Jaymes.  All she’s ever had were fears, you ease them.”

 I go to Trudy’s room, and find her hugging Brady close to her.  There is anger and hurt in her voice as she says “What do you want?”  “I’d like to talk if you’d let me.”  She doesn’t say anything, so I continue.  “You know I’d never do anything to put her in danger.”  Sarcastically, she shoots back “Oh, really?”  “Trudy, whoever this guy is, he’s never even mentioned her except that first time.”  Half frantic she asks “How could you make a deal with him?  You remember what he was like, I know you do. What on earth possessed you to make a pact with him?”  With an amount of sorrow in me I say “I just have to get them back Trudy.  I owe it to Salene and the others to get them back.”  Trudy’s mood changes like a light switch.  She’s much calmer and more like the Trudy I’ve spent the last few weeks with.  “So, you don’t really believe its Martin then?”  “I don’t know Trudy, I just don’t know.  I’ve never seen his face, the voice is strange, but could be him.”  I take a breath and say “Whoever he is, his information is good.  All three times he’s come I’ve looked where he said and there are signs of a recent campsite.”  Time for a change of subject.  “So, I guess we won’t be going on that trip now?”  With a furtive smile she says “Oh, we’re going.”  “Brady?” I ask.  “Her too.”

 “Bray, I need your help with something.”  I say cautiously, not sure about how he feels after the meeting.  “What is it Jaymes?”  “On his next visit, I want to catch whoever this guy is and find out what his game is.”  That hangs in the air a second, “And I need to apologize to you for saying you didn’t care about Brady’s safety.  It was wrong to say it, especially in front of everybody.”  “Yeah, so how will we know when this guy’s next visit is?” Bray asks.  I reply “he always leaves a signal outside the sewer entrance.  I’ll know, then I’ll tell you.”  “Okay, well the next question is, how do we pull it off?”

 Back to Trudy.  “Hi sweetie, how are you feeling?”  “I’m exhausted.” She says.  “It’s been a long day.”  I sit on the bed and Trudy lays her head on my leg.  “Why did you leave?”  “I needed to talk to Bray.  He’s going to be helping me with a few things.”  I say.  “Oh,” she asks, “What things are those?”  I reply “Whoever this guy is, Zoot or not, I want to capture him next time he comes.”  This scares her to death.  “WHAT? No, you can’t…I don’t want him…”  I stop her by wrapping my arms around her “Trudy, don’t be afraid.  Brady won’t be anywhere around.  He won’t hurt her.”  Still scared, she says “But what if he…”  I stop her again.  “Trudy, I mean it.  She’ll be fine.  It’s me and Bray.  There’s only one other person who cares more about that little girl more than we do.”  “I still don’t like it” she says softly.  “Everything will be fine Trudy.  Lex will be with us too.”  She calms down and directly she falls asleep.  I stay so I can watch over Brady and let Trudy rest.  The only time Trudy wakes up is when I try to change the baby.  Watching me fumble around in the dark she has a little giggle fit.  She gets up and says “Here, let me show you.”  I stand behind her and wrap my arms around her and kiss her neck.  “So,” I think to myself, “This is what being happy is.”

 Lex and Tai-San return the next day.  It must have been a good trip cause Lex even looks happy, that almost never happens.  I’m in my room, but not yet asleep, checking my weapons belts and vest to see that everything is all secure, when Lex and Tai-San come to my door and knock.  “Can we come in?”  Lex asks.  “Sure guys, come on in”  They enter and they sit.  So Jaymes, word is you’ve got Zoot coming down on us all over again.  “LEX!” Tai-San chides him.  “Sorry babe, Sorry.  Just trying to joke a bit.”  “Anyway,” Tai-San begins “We just came to see how you were and to give you this.”  Lex tosses me an amethyst stone, and Tai-San starts “Its your power stone” she says.  “It will give you inner strength when you need it most.  It will keep your dreams safe too.  Sharing of power stones is a mark of friendship and of deep respect.”  Gazing at the stone, I say to her “Thank you Tai-San.  I will keep it with me always.”  “Don’t thank me, you have Lex to thank for this one.  He found it and thought it would be right for you.”  Silently impressed I say “Well then, thank you Lex.  Its an honor.”  Looking seriously Lex says “The honor’s mine”  Looking to Tai-San and holding her hand he says “You took care of her when I wasn’t able.  This rock is nowhere near the debt paid.”  At this, Tai-San smiles and says “Well, we should go, you’ve got your guard duty.”

 Night falls and my guard duty shift begins.  I check the sewers carefully, and upon confirming twice that they’re clear I do a bed check.  Trudy and Brady are secure, Lex is fast asleep.  Tai-San is working late but is fine, Salene is sleeping sound, talking about Ryan in her sleep, a happy date from the sound of things.  All is good until I get to Ellie’s room, I hear her crying softly, so I peek my head in and ask “Are you alright Ellie?”  “I’m fine,” she says “These are happy tears.  Someone left a rose on my pillow tonight with a note that said ‘a flower for you to make beautiful by wearing in your hair’.  “An admirer, eh?”  I ask her.  “Yeah.”  As I go back to my checking I think “Good man Jack.”

 I repeat the pattern of sewer and bed checks all through the night, on the third trip, Tai-San asks me to sit with her a moment.  “What’s up?”  I ask  “I hear you got pretty upset at the meeting the other day.”  When I don’t say anything she adds “Something about throwing a tantrum?”  “So,” I say “Its Amber you’ve been talking to.”  She nods her head “Would you like to talk about it Jaymes?”  “I just don’t see why they couldn’t leave it be ‘San.”  Then say “If they’d needed to know, I would have told them.”  She smiles a smile that makes her face look so wise and says “If you spend enough time here, you’ll find that they have an odd way of deciding for themselves what is, and what is not, their business.”  “But ‘San, its…” I start to say, then she stops me “Jaymes, Zoot hurt all of us, Ebony much more than others, and Trudy is always scared he’s going to come back and try and steal Brady.”  She lets this sink in and says “Zoot hurt both your loves horribly.  You owed it to them, if not the rest of us, not to keep this to yourself.”  I reach in and take out the stone that Tai-San and Lex gave me earlier and run it around in my hands.  “See,” she says “It’s helping you already.”  I ask Tai-San if Lex really found this himself.  “He did find it himself.  Searched for it really, two days.”  She stops a moment then she says “He wanted to give it to you as a show of support without actually having to say it.  You know how he is.  He says you remind him of the way he was when Zandra died.  All the pain and the hurt that won’t stop.  He doesn’t want you to walk down the same path he did.  “Really?” I ask, amazed.  “I wouldn’t have thought of Lex as a man with regrets.”  Tai-San just says “I’m finding him a man full of surprises.”

 The night is quiet and event free after I talk to Tai-San, Amber gets up once, just says hi and goes back to bed.  Trudy wakes up to check Brady, I watch, but I don’t let her know I’m there…she’ll want to stay up and talk if she sees me and she needs her sleep.

I wake up just after midday to Trudy there with me “Hi.  How long have you been there?”  “I just walked in.  I was enjoying looking at you there.”  “I’m gonna get something to eat.” I tell her.  I’m in a bad mood this morning.  I’m not telling her that, but I don’t feel like talking.  “Let me get you something.”  She says.  “I’d rather get it myself.” I tell her, “No, come on…let me do it.”  “TRUDY, I’m not completely helpless, I can get my own food.”  She actually jerks back in fear.  “What’s wrong with you Jaymes!”  then more softly she says “Did you have the dream again?”  “No Trudy, I’m just in a horrible mood.  I shouldn’t be taking it out on you.  I just need to be by myself a while is all.”  “Okay, if that’s what you need.  I was hoping to talk about our trip today.”  She says.  She’s trying to brighten my mood, but it doesn’t work.  “Not today, okay?”

After breakfast, which I take from the kitchen to the sewers, I climb out the hole, to find Bray just coming back.  At the same time I see him, I see the marker.  My mood dissolves into a pure analytical one.  I pick up the marker and stop Bray as he goes to walk past me.  “Bray.  Tomorrow night…we have to be ready.”  He says “Okay, I have to talk to Danni then I’ll find you.”  “Okay Bray, I better get back in and find Trudy and tell her about this.”

I go back in almost afraid to talk to her after the way I treated her.  It’s a hard thing to tell her, my face reflects it apparently, as I have a look of pure dread on it.  “Jaymes, what is it?  Are you okay?” she asks concerned.  “Trudy, I just found the marker.  He’ll be here tomorrow night.”  Her fear is evident on her face.  “Jaymes, I want you with me.”  “I can’t Trudy, it won’t work.” I tell her.  “Please Jaymes, I won’t feel safe unless you’re there.”  She begs.  Trying to make her feel better I tell her “Okay sweetie, I’ll figure out something.”  I kiss her on top of the head and tell her I love her.  “I have to go Trudy, I need to get my weapons together.”  “I’ll go with you.” she says.  She’s scared and doesn’t want to be alone, though she’d never say it.

When we get to my room and I pull out my weapon box it frightens Trudy a little.  It is not in her nature to be violent, so weapons are foreign to her.  I lay out the full contents of the box on the floor.  Twelve throwing knives, four throwing stars, one large knife.  Two large containers of powder, one for blinding, one that restricts breathing when inhaled.  Two steel rods made with sharpened hooked spikes, a pack of special steel spikes to slow down someone chasing me, and several flash grenades I got my hands on once.  “Maybe I should have left Brady with somebody.”  She says.  “She’ll be fine Trudy.”   I hold up the lung restrictive powder and say “This is all we need to watch.  This’ll kill her if it’s handled wrong.  It’ll kill us too.”  She stares at me and says “If its dangerous to you then why do you use it?”  “Small amounts aren’t bad, at least to adults.  If you throw it at an opponent and then move you’ll be okay.”  I set the powders aside “I like to mix the two together so you get the double effect.  I’ll do that when you leave.”  She isn’t talking, just staring at the gear.  I grab one of the steel rods and hand it to her.  “I don’t want it.” She says, nervous and afraid.  “Trudy, I want you to get a feel for this.  In a few minutes you’re taking Brady to Salene then we’re going to the sewers and I’m going to show you a few basic moves with this.”  Shocked, she looks and me and half laughing says “Oh no I’m not!  I’m not touching that.”  I don’t have time to argue with her so I take on a mean tone, almost sounding like Ebony and say “Now you listen to me, I won’t be able to be everywhere tomorrow night, You’re taking this and I’m showing you how to use it!  I may not be able to protect you and that little girl, so I’m going to go to sleep tonight knowing you can hold somebody off long enough to yell for help, is that understood!”  she looks at me with rage and says “How DARE you speak to me like that Jaymes!  What right do you have!”  Still in the mean mode I half scream “TRUDY! We’re not back at school here!  This person may try to kill you, and I don’t have time to be sweet to you about it and convince you.”  She says something next so vindictive I actually scream at her and leave “Knowing how to fight didn’t help you keep Ebony safe, DID IT!”  Trudy saying this hits me like a brick, and before I think about it I remember what Tai-San told me last night and I scream at her “It’d serve you right if this guy was Martin and he came and took Brady away.”  I collect my gear and I leave her there shocked and crying.  I probably would be except I have too much anger, and fear of what will happen to Trudy and Brady tomorrow night.

I must have screamed at Trudy a bit too loud, because as I walk to the sewers everyone, absolutely everyone is out glaring at me like I was pure evil.  Dal is looking particularly mad.  Trudy is special to him, Brady too.  When I get to the sewers I decide I want some real practice, so I go outside and go to the river and to the tree line.  I’ve taken my harmless powder for the throwing practice.  I tack a target to the side of a tree and begin with some evasive throwing, flipping and throwing in mid air.  Not as good as I’d like, but getting there.  After two hours I take a break.  I was so into it that I didn’t notice Bray had been there most of the time.  “Bray!  I’d expected them to send Amber to talk me down from this one.”  He says to me “Not here to talk about that unless you want to.  I think you handled it wrong, but your point was dead on, she needs to learn.  I’m here to talk about what we’ll do tomorrow.”  “Ah.” I nod  “Well, I am going to hook a couple of Sprites up on a wire to my room, this’ll disorient him, wake me up if I actually fall asleep and will serve as a signal to you and Lex.”  “Sprites?”  I tell him I call my flash grenades ‘sprites’ then I explain that Lex needs to be on one side of the hall, Bray on the other, so if this guy runs, we have him covered either way.  “Okay, well, how do we take him down?” Bray asks.  “As non violent as possible, but I will hurt him if I have to.”  I say hard.

“Bray, was I right to try to get my point across to Trudy that way?” I ask.  Bray just says “No.”  I just look at him very oddly “Don’t get me wrong Jaymes, she needs to get the point, but Martin coming for Brady is still one of her worst fears…it was low to say that to her.”  “Yeah, I just said it cause I was hurt.  You heard what she said to me?” I ask.  “Yes, I talked to her about it.”  “Shouldn’t have done that Bray.”  “I think I needed to.  She was in the wrong.”  He says.  “Bray, I don’t need you to run behind me every time I have a fight with someone.”  I reply.  “Well, I wanted to see how bad she was hurt too.”  Bray says, then asks “Are you going to apologize to her?”  “Haven’t decided, really depends on if she does or not.”  Bray just shakes his head, and we finalize plans to catch our visitor.  Then I go back in, Bray has places to be, so he says.

When I come back in I pass the food court, Trudy and Brady are there, I notice out of the corner of my eye, but I don’t make eye contact.  I go to my room, where I decide to lay down for a while.  Just as I’m about to fall asleep Trudy comes in.  I actually ignore her though.  She goes on and on about the old days how they affected her, what the world had done to her, and how bad everything was for Trudy.  It makes me angry and I say “I’ve known you for so many years, loved you, watched over you, tried to protect you and then Brady when you brought her into the world.  The one thing I never thought I could do was hate you, right now though, that’s all I can do.  Now get out, I want to sleep.”  She says “Please Jaymes, I want to stay with you.”  “Well Trudy, I’ll see what Ebony thinks…oh wait, I wasn’t good enough to save her while I kept you and Brady from being taken.  NOW GET OUT!”  Pleading with me, she falls to her knees “Please Jaymes, Please.  What do I have to say?  Just tell me and I’ll say it!  I’m so scared.”  “Trudy!  If I have to tell you what to say, then you don’t mean it, now get out before I say something else I’ll regret.”  “Is that an apology Jaymes?”  “Oh god!, yes Trudy, fine its an apology, I’m sorry for what I said.  Now will you PLEASE leave so I can get some rest.”  I ask her, nearly at my breaking point.  “Jaymes”, she says “Please just let me lay here.”  Exasperated I say “Fine Trudy, just lay down and don’t say anything, I’m tired.  Brady is with Salene?”  quietly, she says “Yes.”  I don’t speak to her again, I just turn over away from her, and I hear her crying though.  When she thinks I’m asleep she says “I’m sorry Jaymes…I never should have said that bit about Ebony.”  Then adds “I know you were only trying to teach me how to protect myself.”  I turn to her and ask, “Does that mean you’ll do it then?”  “Yes.”  I say to her softly, “I’m sorry I said what I did, and I’ve acted the way I have.  I love you Trudy.”  When I fall asleep, we are in each other’s arms.

Trudy wakes me after an hour, asking if I’m ready to teach her yet.  “I should have given you the choice earlier Trudy, so are you sure you want to do this?”  “No,” she says, “But if it helps protect Brady, then that’s what I’ll do.”  “Okay Trudy, give me a minute to get ready.”  I grab my vest, belts and gear from the box, including the spiked rods that caused the argument earlier, then we walk outside.  As we do so, I note that Dal looks at Trudy and I walking arm in arm and smiles.  As a way to get Trudy a little more comfortable with the whole idea I ask loudly to all present “Anyone else want to come see me get my butt kicked by a girl?”  Everyone laughs and Salene takes me up on the offer and Lex comes out saying he needs the air.

I spend three hours teaching Trudy and Salene some moves with the weapons.  She may not like them, but Trudy is a natural weapons girl.  She was doing center ring throws with the knives after an hour, and was doing blind kill shots with the spike rod after the second.  “Good thing you didn’t have this in your hand when we started fighting.” I jokingly say.  Salene laughs at this.  “Is this good?” Trudy asks.  “Took me six months to get to this level.” I tell her.  “Can I ask a question Trudy?”  “Of course Jaymes.”  “What kind of weapons did the Chosen train you with?”  Laughing nervously she says “What?  They didn’t…I’ve never touched a weapon before.”  “Trudy,” I say softly, adding a hug for calming effect “Your time with the Chosen was a long time ago, it doesn’t matter now, and nobody picks up a weapon the first time and learns that fast.”  Hanging her head in shame, and afraid to look at either Salene, Lex or I she says “I was trained on knives like yours and on long swords…staves”  quietly she adds “I was trained to use poisons as well.”  “You don’t even want to know what they did to my people skills.”  I feel like I should apologize, so I say “I’m sorry Trudy, I didn’t mean to…”  Crying, she says “Its okay Jaymes, I was just remembering something I did to Cloe once.”  She seems disturbed by it, so I ask “Do you want to talk about it?”  She doesn’t answer, but the look on her face says no, so we don’t.  “I love you Trudy.”

Knowing that Trudy can do what she needs to, we just go back inside.  I set down on the edge of the bed then I start to bust out laughing.  “What Jaymes?”  Trudy asks.  I still continue to laugh, almost not able to help it.  After nearly two minutes, she finally gets me calmed down.  “What was it that was so funny Jaymes?”  “I’m sorry, I was just remembering our fight.  We were fighting because you didn’t want to learn to do something you already knew how to do.  I just think that’s hilarious.”

Trudy asks me about my weapons, where I found them.  “Well, I looted a store when the virus hit, that’s where I got the throwers.  The sprites came from a weapons locker in an old police station.  That reminds me I need to check my stockpile.  The powders I knew how to make.  I made the Chasers from scratch.  I have a knife here I carry with me, the knife was a gift from a friend.  I used to have swords, those were broken a long time ago.  Eventually I’m going to make myself a set of hand claws, and a better spike rod.

She throws me a large can from under her bed.  “nobody else knows about this.” She tells me.  “What is it Trudy.”  “It’s a powder you can add to your collection if you like.  You have to wear gloves with this one, it’s a Guardian special blend.  It mixes with sweat and causes blisters and sores.  He used it in ceremonies.”  “Ah,” I say “wear a glove covered with the powder and make boils and blisters appear on those who’ve offended Zoot.”  “uh-huh.”  “I’m sorry to have called bad memories Trudy.”  She shakes her head.  “I hurt so many people.” She says.  “Trudy?” I say.  “Yes Jaymes?”  “Is this still about the Cloe thing?”  “Uh-huh.”  “Are you ready to talk about it?”  “No.”  We leave it at that.

Meal time, and I talk to Bray and Lex about how we’re going to do this.  Lex thinks we should have a net on a trip cord in my room, Bray thinks it’s a bad idea.  I actually think Lex has a good plan, but there’s no guarantee that I won’t get caught in the net also.  “Lex, grab KC and go to the hardware store.  Get as many 20 pound sledgehammers and the longest four two by fours that you can find and as many nails as you can carry.” I tell him.  “What’s the idea?”  Lex asks.  “Well, still using a trip cord, but instead of a net we’re going to make a nice little device that ought to hurt him like hell.”   Bray kind of raises an eyebrow and says “I like it.”  “Its settled then.  Okay, I’m heading out to take a look around.”  I say, then I leave.

I make my way to the old factory where all this started at, inspect the blast lines from the explosion.  The pain of losing Ebony has been coming back lately, but I can’t talk to Trudy about it, it isn’t fair to her, so I’ve been coming here to meditate and deal with my pain.  Today though, I don’t get to do that because Salene has followed me from the mall to here.

“Can I ask you a question Jaymes?”  Salene asks, quietly, almost mousy.  “Certainly.” I tell her.  “I miss Ryan so much, how have you made the pain of missing Ebony go away?”  Salene hasn’t been talking about it for a while, I thought she was getting on okay.  “I’ll tell you a secret Salene, the pain never goes away, but with work to do, and friends who are there if you go to them, the pain gets a little bit less.”  Salene looks around and sees the spot on the floor where I usually meditate, the first time I was here I drew a circle, with lines from four points and wrote the names of the missing, one for Patsy, one for Ebony, one for Cloe and one for Ryan.  “What’s this for?”  She asks.  “The last few weeks I’ve been hurting again, but I won’t talk to Trudy about it…so I come here to the factory to meditate on everyone coming home.  Each time I come I face a different name and I send my thoughts out to them.”  “Whose day was this?” she asks.  “Today was Patsy, I mediated for Cloe last time and Ryan the time before that.”  Salene hangs her head a bit and starts to sob.  “I wish I could make this pain go away Salene, wish I could make it go away for us all.  Do you have anyone you talk to Salene?”  “Trudy helps some, but I have a hard time talking to her since…”  I look at her waiting for her to continue, but she doesn’t.  “Since what Salene?”  I ask gently.  “Its nothing Jaymes.”  She answers.  “Please Salene, tell me.”  “Don’t worry Jaymes.  You want me to leave so you can send your thoughts to Patsy?”  “It’s okay Salene, they know.”

Trudy asked me to be with her tonight.  She’s had a bad day and she’s scared about what’s coming, so I arrive at her room carrying a rose for her and a daisy for Brady.  I think she was happier that I brought little Brady a flower than with the rose I brought her.  “You’re so good with her Jaymes.  Did your parents have another baby before the virus?”  before I can speak she says “That’s silly, of course they didn’t or you’d be taking care of it now, wouldn’t you.”  “Actually Trudy I did have a baby brother, and I was taking care of him, but he passed away.”  I say quietly.  “Oh Jaymes, I’m sorry.  How did it happen?”  Tears in my eyes I say “It was a raid on an old tribe I took up with.  The men were on a hunting trip and our women wouldn’t share supplies, so they killed them and the children.  Nothing left when we came home.”  Trudy shudders and says “Oh Jaymes, I’m sorry.  Did you know what tribe it was?”  I can’t bring myself to do more than shake my head and say yes.  “Jaymes,” she asks, “who was it.”  “Its not important Trudy.”  I tell her.  “It’ll help to talk about it Jaymes.” She says to me, caringly.  “No it won’t Trudy…no it won’t.”  Trudy looks at me so lovingly and says “It’ll be okay, just tell me.”  She won’t be satisfied until I answer, so I close my eyes, not bearing to see her face, and I tell her the truth “It was The Chosen.”  When I open my eyes, I don’t think I’ve ever seen such pain on someone’s face.  “It was a long time ago Trudy.”  She gets up and picks up Brady and starts to walk out.  “Where are you going?”  she looks at me with so much sorrow in her eyes and says “I’ll see if Salene will let me stay with her tonight.”  I jump up and grab her by the shoulders and say to her “Why are you leaving?.”  "I'm sorry Jaymes, I just have to go...I can't bear it, knowing what I did."  "What's changed Trudy?"  "All the pain I caused, to them, to you, I can't..." she can't finish her thought.  I look at her softly gazing in her eyes and say "I fell in love with Trudy before the virus ever hit.  I hate The Supreme Mother, but I understand that even though there's only one body that Trudy and The Supreme Mother are two different people...and I don't blame Trudy for what the other one did."  “But Jaymes…” she says before I stop her with a kiss.  “Its getting dark Trudy, get back in here and lay down.  Besides, I’m scared to be here alone.”  Through the flowing tears she says “Are you making fun of me?”  “Never Trudy,” I say.  “What I’m saying is you did what you had to so you could keep your daughter safe, and what they did wasn’t your fault.  That, and I can’t bear it when you’re not with me."  She still walks to her door to leave.  "Trudy, come to bed.  If you go to Salene's tonight we'll just have to get over this in the morning."

As night falls completely, Trudy is still blaming herself for my brother’s death, but I’m trying to get her talking about something else.  “That night we danced on the roof Trudy, what did you mean when you said ‘I was right’.  She just smiles and says the same thing that she said that night “Ask me again sometime.”  I’m not ready to give up so I place my hands on her face and kiss her gently, “I want to know now.”  I say to her.  Smiling slyly she says “Ask me again.”  Ah, so we’re making a game of it, so I maneuver myself behind her, take her arm and kiss her hand then as I work my way up her arm I say “What….were….you….right….about?”  a soft moan from Trudy and she says “That dance…I should have gone with you.  I thought so then, and that night on the roof just proved it.”  Like it was planned, Brady stirs and coos in her bed.  “No, Trudy,” I tell her “Fate worked out better for you.  If something had changed then, you might not have that little miracle now.”   “Maybe you're right.  Lets just sleep, its been a rough day."  I wrap her up in my arms and kiss her neck and behind her ears, before going to sleep.

From a deep sleep where I’m actually dreaming a happy dream about a home on a mountain somewhere with Trudy and Brady and other little ones running in the yard while Trudy and I sit on the porch watching them.  I hear Brady scream.  Trudy and I both wake at the same time to see a hooded figure holding Brady.  Trudy screams and I grab one of my powder packs.  “Jaymes!  No…Brady!”  she’s right, I could have hurt her.  My mind is working at light speed and I grab at one of my steel rods I trained Trudy with.  She actually grabs the other.  The figure says “STOP! Move again and I’ll break her in half!”  Trudy is shocked.  It’s the first time anyone other than I have heard him speak.  “MARTIN!”  she says, the person just laughs, says nothing else.  In the darkness, I see Bray and Lex sneak up behind him.  He hears it too and starts to run.  He runs into Lex and Lex grabs the baby from him.  Knowing he’s lost, he starts running.  That’s all I needed, I start running after him.  Actually knocking Lex off balance and Bray to the floor I found out later.  I didn’t see anything than the person who tried to steal Brady.  I catch him just outside Alice and Ellie’s room and hit his knees to knock him down.  I drop the rod and start hitting him bare handed, all I can think is how he tried to steal Brady.  I hit him and hit him, over and over.  I surprise myself with the fact that even in my state I don’t hit him in the head or face…that makes identification difficult.  Finally I stop, fists covered in blood.  Everyone but Salene is there, she went to be with Trudy and Brady.  I remember seeing Ellie throwing up and Lex and Bray come and pull me off the body.  The rest of the night is a blur.

Chapter 8---The Next Day

 I wake up in mid afternoon.  After the events of the previous night I just walked off to bed.  I’d never been so violent to anyone in my life as I was to the person who tried to steal Brady.  When I wake, Danni is there, reading one of my books quietly.  “I think I know why you like these books Jaymes.  This Paul Atreides is a lot like the children of our world today.  A child forced to grow up too fast and take on a lot of responsibilities.  Hard decisions.”  “Morning Danni.  Why are you here?”  she puts the book away and says “Lex’s idea, he thought maybe someone should be here when you woke up so you weren’t alone.  He stayed most of the night.  He's keeping a close watch on you these days.  He and Trudy, but they were tired, so they went and laid down a few hours ago”  I thank her.  “It was a horrible thing I did last night Danni.”  As I start to get up, a pain shoots up my arms “AAH!, what the hell?!”  Danni says to me “don’t move around too much…you bruised your hands pretty bad.  We thought you broke the left one.”  “How hard did I hit him?” I ask in disbelief  “Pretty hard.” She tells me “and a lot too.  Lex and Bray had a hard time stopping you.  Even after he died.”  I sit up in bed slowly and with much pain.  “Well, I guess I’d best get something to eat.  How’s the mood over what I did?”  Danni says “Jack and Dal are impressed, but they’re at the farm.  Alice managed somehow to sleep through it.  After Ellie stopped puking she was fine.  Lex and Bray obviously would have liked to take him alive, but understand why you did it.”  I stop her.  “Okay, how’s Trudy taking it?”  I ask her.  Danni smiles at me knowing that’s what I really wanted to know.  “Well, she and Salene didn’t see it.  Trudy was scared for Brady and Salene went to them and was taking care of them, so they don't know much about it.”  I start to get off the bed and another shot of pain hits me.  “Ouch, maybe I’ll not be getting something to eat after all.  Maybe I’ll just walk around.”  Danni looks at me with sympathy and says “Okay Jaymes.”

 I find a table and sit down.  “Morning everybody.”  Everybody consists of Alice, Tai-San, Salene and Amber.  Everybody says good morning.  Amber has a look of concern, but she’ll wait till later.  It’s Tai-San who comes to me.  “Oh Jaymes.  How are you doing?”  “Well ‘San, my hands feel like I’ve put them in a blender, and my soul hurts a little.”  Tai-San smiles a bit and says “Well, the hands I can help with, the soul I can’t do much for, but I’ll listen, come with me.”  When we get to her rooms, she lays out some of her herbs and things, mixes up a paste and applies it to my hands.  “This should help, and here, drink this.”  I drink up, something that tastes like old skunks.  “It tastes bad, but it’s good for pain.”  she tells me.  “Now Jaymes, how about your soul?”  “I don’t know.  I was just so scared last night Tai-San.  Scared he was going to take Brady and I just lost it.”  She looks at me with that wise look and says “Its common for a man to want to protect his family.”  I look at her, head turned a little to the side.  “They are your family Jaymes.  You’ve been taking care of them for months, more than that if you count the time before the virus.”  I suddenly don’t want to talk about it, so I say goodbye and offer to pay her for the herbs.  “Don’t worry, protecting our home was payment enough.”

 I look in on Trudy, who is sleeping soundly.  I note that Brady isn’t there.  I think to myself that Salene has her so that Trudy can sleep, she was up all night looking in on me.  I go to Salene’s room.  Her back is to the door and she’s cradling Brady and feeding her.  “You’re so good with children Salene, why don’t you have any of your own?”  “Jaymes!  How are you?”  I think she and I are a lot closer since we fought over me getting Ryan captured.  “The hands hurt a bit…seems I busted them on some guy’s body last night.”  Dry laughs from Salene, and I ask her “So, how’s my little girl?”  she brings Brady around so I can see her “She’s fine.  Kids have a remarkable ability to blow things off like they never happened.  I took her so that Trudy could sleep a little.  She watched you all night long.”  I’m playing with Brady, whose little touch is enough to hurt my hands but is good for my soul, then Salene adds “If anything happened to you it’d hurt Trudy as much as if something happened to Brady.” I choose to ignore this. “When we were talking yesterday, you said something and I was wondering what you meant.” I say to her.  “Okay.” She says carefully.  “When I asked if you had anyone to talk to, you said Trudy helps but you have trouble talking to her sometimes.  Why was that?”  Salene tries to blow it off.  “Please, tell me.”  “I don’t want to upset you Jaymes.”  Still playing with Brady and I say “Salene, I have a rule I go by.  When I ask a question, I can’t be upset cause I hear something I don’t want to.”  Salene shakes her head “I have trouble trusting Trudy because of things she did when she was with the Chosen.  I can’t get over some things.”  That’s what I expected to hear.  “Salene, I was just discussing this with Trudy last night.  When the Chosen came, my baby brother was killed in a raid by them.  The thing you have to understand is that Trudy is a Mallrat.  The Chosen took her body and created The Supreme Mother.  They aren’t the same person, and Supreme Mother is dead…our friend Trudy is all there is now.”  Salene looks at me with a mix of shock, and a little respect I think “How can you separate the two like that?”  she asks me.  “Salene, I fell in love with Trudy before this virus ever happened, I know her, and I know that the person who was with the Chosen when they killed my brother was not Trudy.”  Salene just looks at me with a smile that would melt the coldest heart and says “I wish you would teach me how to do that.”  “Maybe I will one day…maybe I will.”

 I feel like I should be working, doing something.  I’m just so restless.  I’d punch a wall, but that’d make the problem worse.  So, the only thing I can do is to go and lay in my bed.  Its here that Amber finds me.  “Has Bray seen you yet?”  I shake my head no, “Was he looking for me?”  she says “He was just wanting to fill you in on what we know.”  “What do we know Amber?”  She just says “It’d best come from Bray.”  My heart sinks as I say “Oh god, it really was Zoot.  And after what I said to Trudy.”  Amber shakes her head and puts her hand on my knee “No, no Jaymes.  It wasn’t.  Bray confirmed that, but there’s other things he should tell you.”  I just stare at the ceiling of the room and she says “Wolf, what is it?”  I look into her eyes “How is it you always seem to know just when we need to stop being Amber and Jaymes and start being Eagle and Wolf?”  she smiles at me and says “We know each other far too well.”  I smile at her “I feel like I should be doing something Eagle.  I feel so useless.  My state I won’t even be able to take care of Trudy.  I can’t even feed myself right now.”  She, in that wise and soft way she has says “I seem to remember a time once before when you couldn’t feed yourself, Wolf.  Of course, at that time you weren’t even awake, but if you wish I will feed you now just like I did for you then.”  Then she says “and Trudy will be looked after, just as Eagle promised.”  As she leaves, she tells me to get some rest, she’ll be back with food later.  “Okay, and if you see Bray have him come in, I won’t be sleeping.”

 A half hour passes and Bray finds his way in.  “Hey Bray, what’s up?”  “Its been a long night my friend, a long night.”  I nod, “I don’t remember it, but it feels like I’ve been out for days.”  Bray says he’s not surprised, I took it hard last night.  “You about knocked Lex down with the baby, you knocked me down.  I was out for 5 minutes cause I hit my head.  Then when you caught him, you hit him with that steel rod and broke his knee.  When he fell you ripped into him.  Broke everyone of his ribs and most of the other bones in his chest, at least it looks like it.”  I look at him eyes wide and say “No wonder I can’t feel my hands.”  Bray laughs and says “Jesus man, it took Tai-San 3 hours to figure out whether or not you’d broke ‘em.”  Small talk is getting boring to us both I think.  “You’d like to know what we’ve found out, right?” he asks.  “Yes, please.”  Bray has the look of hard decisions on his face “Well, it wasn’t my brother, Trudy says he must have known him though, cause the voice was amazing.  We went through his stuff and found a note that said ‘your end is counting down from the moment this man died…we will be coming’, and there was a picture of our people with it.  Its like they knew we were going to kill him.”  I shake my head as Amber comes in with food, followed by a just awake Trudy.  “No Bray, they didn’t know we’d kill him, this was all a mind game.  They’ll be waiting for him to arrive or not.  Trying to take Brady may have been an excuse to get him killed.  He’s probably had that note with him every time he’s been here.”  Amber speaks up and asks “What purpose would that serve?”  “If he doesn’t come back, that’s their cue to advance to the next step, they used him to send the warning…it didn’t matter when he died, we’d have already been contacted if I’d killed him the first time he came.”  Trudy has moved to sit on the bed with me.  Bray says “Hopefully you have enough time to heal before whatever happens, actually does.” Then says “Jaymes, you’re to stay in bed, no getting up for anything unnecessary, let us take care of you so the hands can heal.”  I start to prop myself up in the bed to protest and as I do I have to yell a little “See Jaymes, that’s my point.”  “Okay Bray, we’ll see.”  He leaves

 When Bray leaves, Amber steps up and sets beside me with a plate of food “Now set up here and eat this” she says.  Trudy looks at her and says “I can do that Amber, you don’t have to.”  “Its okay Trudy, I don’t mind,” Amber tells her.  “Really, Amber let me.”  I step in here, “Its okay Trudy, its food, it doesn’t matter who feeds me really.  Besides, she had to feed me once before when she saved me from being killed by a mob.  I can’t ask you to do that Trudy.”  “But you can ask her?” Trudy says.  “Trudy, it’s not like that.  Wolf and Eagle have known each other a long time, and I feel more comfortable with her doing this because she’s seen me weak like this before.  I hate to ask you to nurse me through this Trudy.”  She is sort of pouting and asks me, half sorry and half accusing “Is this about your little brother?”  I can’t believe she asks me that so I say “Amber, please leave.”  “Jaymes” She says “You haven’t finished eating.”  Still staring at Trudy I say “Eagle, leave now.”  She does.

 “Are you still on that Trudy?”  I ask her in disbelief.  “I told you last night, none of that was your fault.”  “But it was Jaymes.” She says, “But it was.”  How can I make her understand?  I have an idea.  “Tell me your name.”  “What?”  “Tell me your name.” I tell her again.  “Its Trudy.”  She asks why that matters.  “Because, everyone in this mall thinks of you exactly the same way…as Trudy, not as Supreme Mother.”  She shakes her head back and forth.  With a lot of pain I prop myself up beside her “Don’t do that Jaymes, you’ll hurt yourself, there’s no reason for it.”  I smile at her, she’s helping make my point for me.  “If you can hurt yourself for no reason, my sweet Trudy, then so can I.”  She changes the subject.  “Why don’t you want me to feed you Jaymes?”  “Trudy, I just feel bad asking you to do that.  You already have one baby to look after, I don’t think you need another.”  “JAYMES!” she yells at me. Before she can start again I say “See, you’re already yelling at me like I were a child who’s doing something they shouldn’t.”  “Jaymes,” Trudy says “You know I love you, right?”  “Of course, Trudy.  Just like I hope you know I love you.”  She continues, “Well then, I don’t care to watch over you…and I won’t think less of you for letting me take care of you after you protected me and my little girl.”  I don’t say anything.  “Well, how about it Jaymes?”  “First, you’ll answer me a question.  Answer truthfully and you take care of me.  Answer false, or don’t answer at all and Eagle does.”  She starts to shake her head no.  “Trudy, so far we have no secrets from each other.”  “Don’t make me do this Jaymes.”  I look at her “Trudy, what did you do to Cloe that you’re still not able to get over?”  She doesn’t know that asking her is as painful to me as answering is to her.  “When I was with the Chosen, I tried to separate her and Patsy, end their friendship.  I did so many horrid things to that little girl.  The worst, I think was giving patsy a ‘gift’ to give to her.  A doll with the eyes burnt out, mouth sewed shut and face scarred and tortured.”  I believe she thought I’d be appalled, I wasn’t I was surprised “That thing you’ve got in the closet in your room?”  “How did you know that?” she asks.  “I was looking through it one day trying to find something.  Why do you keep it if it hurts you so?”  with a sorrowful look on her face she says “So I never forget the pain a person can cause others without realizing it.”  I take her hand in mine and squeeze it, doing my best to hide my pain, it doesn’t work.  “Jaymes, don’t do that, you’ll hurt yourself.”  “A small hurt to me is worth knowing your heart and soul are comforted honey.  I love you.”  “Is there anything I can do?” she asks.  “Find Amber.”  “What do I tell her?”  “To give you the food plate, and that I have a new nurse.”  When she leaves, I go to her room.  She’ll be troubled by her time as Chosen and what she did to Cloe for a long time.  I need to think, and I need the doll to look at.

 I have to hide the doll fast, cause Trudy comes in to feed me.  After Trudy comes back and finishes feeding me she leaves.  Tai-San comes in and checks on my hands. “How are they?” she asks  “Well, lets just say Brady can hurt me by squeezing them.”  Danni comes in right after Tai-San and sits down.  “Danni, you have to have other things to do, I’m awake now, no reason to sit with me.”  She sits down anyway and says “I’m here this time because I want to be.”  I make a pain noise as Tai-San rubs on some ointment.  “Sorry, I’m being as gentle as I can  Here, drink this.”  “Its okay ‘San, I know.”  “Why couldn’t I have gotten depressed and stay down for a week like I did last time.  It’d hurt less.”  They both look at me, not sure whether to laugh or not.  “I’m joking girls, besides I couldn’t take having Salene scream at me again.”  They laugh.  Tai-San finishes up, tells me she’ll be back later and then leaves.  “What is it you need Danni?   Danni, hello, you there?”  “Sorry Jaymes.  Just reading.”  She’s not one to be lost in thought.  “What is it Danni?”  “I was just thinking how much you’ve changed over the last few months.  Trudy’s been good for you.  Everyone else thinks so too.”  “I’m just glad people are accepting me finally.” I say.  “It helps that they’re starting to like you too.”  Talking about this reminds me that Cloe and Patsy haven’t seen my change.  I turn over in bed.  “What is it Jaymes?”  “I was just wondering if Cloe and Patsy would have the same feeling as the rest of you.”  she says “Probably would.”  Then she laughs and says “By now they’d most likely be fighting over which one gets to spend time with you.”  Dal pokes his head in and says “Yeah, its annoying, but you’ll never go hungry.” Then he leaves.  “What was that about?”  Danni, still giggling says “They focused on him once, tried to shower him with food all the time.  Then when he went to the farm to get away, they went and worked with him.”  I laugh then ask “Danni, did you really come to tell me how much I’d changed?”  “No, I came to return some of your weapons.  You left them last night.”  I thank her.  “I thought Dal was at the farm.” I say.  Danni replies “Jack wanted to come back.  Seems he and Ellie are starting to get a little close.”  Jokingly, I say “Hmm, I had no idea.”  Danni and I share a smile at what happened in the sewers.  “Well,” She says “I’d better go.  There’s a meeting to decide what to do about security.”  “Okay Danni, I’ll be on my way.”  She stops me from getting up “No Jaymes, Bray’s orders…you’ll find out later.  You’re to stay in bed.”  Irritated I forget why I’m laid up and hit the wall beside my bed.  “AAAAAH!”  “Won’t do that again will you?” Danni says.  I thank her for her sympathy.  The worst thing was the fact that Amber saw it as she walked past my door and says “The temper tantrums don’t work, why do you keep having them?”

 I pull out the doll that Trudy gave Cloe and stare at it.  It’s a horrid little creature.  What message could the Supreme Mother have been trying to send?  At the same time I think that whatever they did to her must have been terrible.  Trudy was always so sweet and unsure of herself when I knew her before, and now she’s loving and motherly.  Neither of the Trudy’s I’ve known in my life was capable of this.  Something in that drink that Tai-San gave me knocks me out, and I sleep for a few hours.

When I wake up Trudy is there, holding the doll, looking at me.  She’s been crying.  “Why do you have this?”  she asks, calmer than she should be.  “I’m sorry honey I don’t blame you for being angry, I just had to see it, I’ve been thinking about things.  “I’m not mad anymore, I was at first, but I decided I should let you explain yourself first.  What things have you been thinking about?”  I pat the bed to get her to sit with me.  “I’ve been trying to figure out what they did to you, how they turned the Trudy I knew, and the one I love now into the Supreme Mother, who would do things like this to children.”  “Does it matter what they did?” she asks me.  “No, I guess not, but it hurts you so much, I just wish I could help you through it, ease your pain.”  Trudy kisses my cheek and she says “I just need time, I have forgiveness and I have love, now I need time.”  She puts the doll down.  “What was his name?” she asks softly.  “What?” I ask her.  “Your little brother, what was his name?”  “Knowing won’t help Trudy.” I tell her.  She looks at me still somberly and says “Remember what you said earlier Jaymes, no secrets.”  “My parents didn’t have time to name him, the virus already had them when he was born, and they died before naming him, so it was left to me.  I named him Ghany, a version of a character in a book.  In the book the name meant ‘Spoil of war’.  That’s how I saw him, a gift in a world torn for survival.”  She starts to cry again.  I hug her tight, and when I do, the mother in her kicks in “Jaymes, you’ll hurt yourself, stop.”  I tell her it’ll be okay.  “Its getting late Trudy, lets go to sleep.”  She tells me she’ll go back to her room.  “No, stay with me.”  “No, if one of us moves wrong, we’ll hurt your hands.”  Painfully, I wrap my hands around hers and I place them on my chest “It’ll hurt worse in here if you’re not with me.”  We lay down and as I wrap my arms around her I groan a little from the hurt.  Laying in the dark she asks “Does anyone else know about your brother?”  I tell her it came up in the conversation with Salene.  “What were you talking to her about?”  “Well, it was kind of private, but lets just say that not everyone has forgiven Supreme Mother.”  She isn’t crying anymore.  When she doesn’t say anything I say “Time…that’s all.”  She turns over and I say “Tomorrow we have a trip to plan.”  We share a kiss then fall asleep.

Chapter 9—The Trip

 Trudy takes care of me so well over the next few days, she feeds me, she goes and asks Tai-San to teach her how to make the ointment and the drink to kill the pain, all the while of taking care of me, she takes care of Brady too.  Trudy is so much more than the ditz I thought she was in school.  She’s wonderful and caring and beautiful.  She makes me happy to wake up in the morning, and centers me.  My dreams are no longer plaguing me, I haven’t had them in a long while.

Trudy and I plan our trip over the next few days, we plan where we’ll go, what we’ll do.  She tries to suggest leaving Brady behind since my hands are hurt, but they are feeling a lot better, so I tell her that we all go or we don’t go at all.  Nobody wants us to go right now, but Bray helps us out by saying that he promised us this trip and we’ve been through enough for a while.  When plans are finalized, we set a date of three days to leave.

That morning I find Bray in his room, talking to Danni.  “Bray, I need a favor.  It’s a private matter.”  I tell him.  Danni leaves Bray and I to talk alone.  “What can I help with?”  I tread slowly into this “Well Bray, first I need to ask a question.”  He raises his eye “Ask away.”  I stick my head out the door to see that nobody is around and then I ask “Since you’re the closest thing she has to family, I wanted to ask your blessing in asking Trudy to marry me.”  Bray does something odd for him.  He says “What?”  Then he jumps up and shakes my hand and sort of pats me on the back.  “That’s great Jaymes.  You don’t need my permission though.”  I look him in the eye and say “Well, she and Brady are your family, I thought I should ask.”  Bray says “Of course, ask her.  Wow Jaymes that’s great.”  I thank him, “Next thing I need to ask is help getting her a ring.”  Bray sticks his head out the door and yells “KC!  Get in here!”  KC enters and says “What is it?  I have things to do.”  Bray tells him “This takes priority.  There’s profit in it for you, more if you keep it quiet, more than that if you make it quick.”  “What is it?” KC asks, interested.  “I need a ring, nicest one you can get your hands on matter of fact, bring the four best you can find, good diamonds, you’ll get paid for one, you can trade the rest.”  KC wants to know what its for.  “Never mind, just get them here in two days.”  KC runs off and Bray starts again “So, when will you ask her?”  “I’m not sure, it’ll depend on the places we go really.  If I find a good spot I’ll just ask.”

The days go by quickly, KC gets the rings to Bray and I choose a nice one, good color and setting, and it looks like it’ll even fit her.  The only thing of value I really have is my weapons, so I give up four of my sprites and two of my throwing knives for it, then the next day Trudy and I, packed for our trip, say our goodbyes to our friends and we head out, Brady in tow.

Brady enjoys being outside, she giggles and points out everything and makes all the happy noises babies make.  When Trudy’s arms get tired I take Brady and carry her.  I stop and I look at Trudy and say “What’s that Brady?”  Trudy looks at me like I’m silly, then I say “You’re right Brady, your momma does look beautiful the way the light’s shining on her here.”  “Oh you.” Trudy says.

Of course, as fate would have it, it starts to rain on us, so I start looking for shelter.  I find us a little shelter in the woods, some little place with a gate.  Remains of people there a long time ago, old fire rings outside and torches and bed rolls inside.  “This ought to keep us dry.” I say.  “I think I’d rather be wet.” Trudy responds.  “What is it?”  she’s silent on the question.  “Trudy?”  she takes Brady from me and holds her close and says “Supreme Mother was born here.”  I can’t think of anything that sounds right to say, so I just manage “Oh Trudy, I’m so sorry I brought you here.  I didn’t know.”

The rain doesn’t last long, so as quickly as possible we start out again.  “Isn’t it a little late to get started again Jaymes?”  “Yes, but I won’t keep you here.  If I have to, I’ll carry you to better shelter.”  Three hours later we find a cave to sleep in for the night.  I unwrap the special bedding we brought for Brady and then unwrap the bedding for Trudy and I.  When Brady falls asleep, I start a fire at the mouth of the cave to cook some of the food we brought with us for today.  Tomorrow I have to get out and catch some fish or something.  I’m staring into the little fire when Trudy comes and sits by it with me.  “How are your hands?”  she takes them and inspects them “They’re still a little sore,” I tell her, “But they don’t hurt like they did.”  As I cook, I slip my hand into my pocket to check that the ring is still there.  Finding it where it should be, I go back to cooking.  “Thank you Jaymes.” Trudy says.  “For what, honey?”  I ask her, surprised.  “For starting out far too late and finding another place so I didn’t have to stay there tonight.”  I place my head on her shoulder and say “I think you should take over where we go from now on.”  She asks why and I say “Because you know where all your bad memories lie and how to avoid them.  I don’t.”  After we eat, we lay out the double sleeping bag and get in, cuddling for warmth, and we talk about the old days for a while before falling asleep.

The next morning dawns and Trudy is already awake with Brady.  “I’m going to go try to catch a couple of fish Trudy.  I want you to come too.”  “We’ll be okay on our own Jaymes, besides I can be getting packed again while you’re out.”  She says.  I look at her and say “Don’t take this wrong, but I’m uncomfortable leaving people alone while I’m out gathering food after what happened to Ghany.”  Regret evident in her face, she doesn’t try to argue, she gathers Brady and walks with me to the creek.  An hour without luck is starting to annoy me, but finally a good fish bites.  I grab it up and throw it in a bucket I brought with me, and throw in again.  This time it’s only a few minutes before I get a bite.  I throw it in the bucket, then Trudy, Brady and I make our way back to the cave.

I restart the fire and clean the fish, then I put them on to cook.  Trudy and I talk about how our lives would be different if the virus had never happened.  Trudy decides that she’d be married to Martin now because of Brady, she’d never have done the horrible things she’s done in life.  She’d probably still be pining away for loves she couldn’t have had.  My life, I say would have been boring.  I wouldn’t have had the adventures I’ve had, I wouldn’t have battle scars, Ghany would still be with me, “And,” I tell Trudy, “I wouldn’t know how much I love you.”  I earn a kiss on the cheek for that one.

When the fish is finished, I get to do one of my favorite things, I get to feed Brady while Trudy watches and smiles as she eats her portion.  I finish eating first, and I start packing.  I groan as a small pain shoots through my hand.  “Come here Jaymes.” Trudy orders me.  She puts some of the ointment on my hands.  “I wish I could give you the drink too, but it makes you sleep.”  “Its okay, it doesn’t hurt that bad.”  I gather up my pack and Trudy hers, and we’re off for another day.

Just a few hours into day two as Trudy tells me stories about her time with the Mallrats, we come to an Eco-Tribe camp.  We try to slip by unnoticed, but to no end.  “WOLF!” I hear from the camp, I turn to see an old friend there.  “Raven!  It’s been a long time.”  We greet each other.  “How are Vhan and the baby?” I ask him.  “We lost them in a raid a while back.  A rogue group of Chosen came and hurt a bunch of us.  Vhan died trying to keep them from taking Yiba.”  I’m saddened by this news, and at the same time know that Trudy must be hurt.  “I’m sorry Raven, I didn’t know.”  Trudy asks “Yiba was your child?”  Raven says “Yes, first born daughter.  I can’t believe there’s still Chosen.  The guardian wasn’t with them, and I heard that bitch supreme mother was gone too.”  This causes Trudy to walk away, and I say “Raven, maybe now’s not the time.”  He asks “Why, what’s wrong with her?”  “Bad memories of the Chosen…they did bad things to her.”  “Your woman?  He asks.  “Yeah, going to be my wife soon, I hope.”  Raven asks me if we’ll stay and I tell him no, we’d best be going.  There’s a lot to see out there.  We say our goodbyes, and Raven asks me to say hello to Eagle next time I see her.

 We walk for several miles before setting up for lunch on a hill overlooking a beautiful valley.  Lunch is little more than some dried goods that Salene and Danni packed for us.  Trudy was silent about our encounter with Raven.  I’m laying lost in thoughts when she pulls me out of them “What are you looking so thoughtful about Jaymes?”  “Just missing Vhan is all.  Strong woman.”  She doesn’t say anything.  I decide to keep quiet too.  I fall into a nap as Trudy feeds Brady.  I have the horrible dream where Cloe, Patsy, Trudy and Brady are killed again, but this time images of dozens of faceless legions with strange weapons and fanatically rampaging the city and around it fill my head before Trudy wakes me up “Shouldn’t we be going Jaymes?”  I tell her yes and we start up again.

The rest of the day we walk.  Trudy asks me about Vhan and Yiba.  She’s trying not to feel sorry for herself, but I’m sure she’s blaming herself.  I tell her old war stories, and stories of hunting parties and of nights where Raven, Vhan, Eagle and I would talk long into the nights for no reason at all.  Happy memories.  She asks about Yiba and I tell her that she probably would have been Brady’s age.  She was a quiet child.  Would barely cry even when she was hungry, had the sweetest little smile.  “I just don’t believe it, Trudy.”  She sort of goes quiet saying “Killer of your family and your friends now.”  “I wish you’d stop hurting yourself like this Trudy.”

Night begins to fall and we sit our tent up.  We collect enough firewood for the night and I look up at the sky, the sun is beautiful tonight.  “Lets walk over to that little place we saw earlier…the one looking out over the lake and watch the sunset.”  We go and sit out a blanket, Trudy lays down cradling Brady with one arm and I lay facing my two beautiful girls.  The sky is a beautiful mix of shades of pink, and purple and gray, but all I can look at is my sweet Trudy and her little Brady.  “I thought we were watching the sunset Jaymes?”  she says when she catches me watching her.  “Well sweetie, I would, it’s just that God’s given me something prettier to watch...and her mommy is beautiful too.”  I say, with a little grin on my face “We don’t deserve you Jaymes.” Trudy says.

I look to little Brady and say “What do you think sweetie?  Is now a good time?”  Trudy looks puzzled and then I say “You’re right Brady, no time like the present.”  I sit up in front and just to the side of Trudy so she can still see the sunset and I start.  “In my life, before this virus hit us Trudy, I didn’t think anything could make me happier than waking up in the morning and seeing you at school.  Then the virus separated us, but I still remembered the good times.  Then when I woke up in the mall last year, and I saw you again, I remembered what happy really was, even though I let my pride keep you at arms length.  These last few months you’ve trusted me, taken care of me, loved me, and been my companion.”  I reach into my pocket, then continue.  “I love you more than anything, I don’t think I could live through a day you weren’t with me.  So I ask, will you my sweet Trudy be my friend, my lover, and my companion for life?  Will you let me be your husband, and you be my wife?” I pull the ring out and hold it to her.

At first she acts like she heard me wrong, mouth hung open, not saying or doing anything.  Then all she can do is smile.  I know that she was totally surprised by it I was afraid that word had gotten around and she’d heard what I planned.  Glad it didn’t.  “Oh Jaymes, Jaymes.  I…of course Jaymes, yes.”  Trudy and I sit looking at the stars for long into the night, both too excited to eat.  When Brady falls asleep Trudy and I celebrate properly.  Then we fall asleep in each others arms.

Happiness is short-lived though as day 3 of our vacation dawns and fate rears it’s head.  When I wake up Trudy is staring at the ring I gave her.  It’s just a bit big for her, so she brings out a chord and ties it around her neck.  “I don’t want you to have to tie it on a necklace Trudy.  She smiles and says “I’d rather wear it like this than to not wear it at all.  Brady has just started to stir when we hear a mix of crying and moans of pain and the side of the tent collapses in as someone falls against it.  I grab a knife and run out of the tent.  “Trudy! Come quick.”  “What is it Jaymes?”  It’s Cloe, hurry.”  Trudy makes her way out.  “Oh, Cloe!  What’s happened.”  I look at Trudy and say “Honey, get her inside, I’ll go get us something to eat.”  At least this morning fate smiles on me as within the first half hour I have four fish caught, then the mile back to the campsite from the river.

Trudy is outside with a fire started when I get back.  “How is she?”  I ask as I clean the fish.  “She’s tired and hurting a little, but she’s okay.  She’s talking.  Sleeping right now.”  “Did she say anything about how she got away?”  Trudy tells me that she said they let her go, but wouldn’t say anything else.  “She was carrying a picture of Ryan, Ebony and Patsy.”  She hands it to me.  Ebony is scared to death, but trying hard not to show it.  Patsy looks broken, completely without feeling.  Ryan is calm, lost weight, but fine overall.  I just sigh.  “I know you love her Jaymes, I’m sorry.”  “Trudy, my love for her is different now.  Its you I love.”

When the fish is cooked, Trudy sticks her head in the tent and tells Cloe its time to eat.  When Cloe comes out she jumps and hugs me around the neck and happily says “JAYMES!  Its good to see you!”  then she comes and sits down.  I look at her and ask “Aren’t you supposed to be afraid of me?”  She looks at me and says “Now Jaymes, anyone who could win Trudy’s heart and make a wife out of her can’t be all scary.”  I look to Trudy.  “You already told her?”  “She saw the ring.”  “So,” Cloe asks as she eats like its been days since her last meal, “When is the wedding?”  We tell her we haven’t set the date yet.

After the meal, it’s down to business.  “How long have you been walking Cloe?” I ask her  “I don’t know, about a day and a half I guess.”  Trudy, after her Supreme Mother experience is more afraid for Cloe’s mind and soul.  “What did they do to you Cloe?”  she asks.  “They didn’t do anything.  We’ve all been fed as much as we wanted.  Any time, day or night if we asked, we got food, they haven’t beaten us, and they don’t even talk mean.  Unless we tried to talk about escape.”  She tells Trudy.  Trudy accepts the answers, but I see her looking for signs of the change.  I ask Cloe if they said what they wanted.  “They just kept saying that we had to give up what they wanted or they’d kill us.”  Then she adds “Oh, and the attackers at the mall weren’t the same as the people keeping us captive.  The ones holding us wear robes and cloaks with hoods over their faces.  They all carry strange two bladed swords.”  I stop her then say “Long swords?  The blades have a strange zig-zag configuration near the handle then go straight out right?”  “How did you know?” Cloe asks.  Trudy looks at me with a look of surprise as well.  I look at Trudy and say “Remember me telling you about the ‘My name is Jaymes dream?  Well, I had a new part with it yesterday.  Hundreds of people all standing in outfits like Cloe described with those evil looking swords.  They never said anything, just stood there on a mountainside somewhere, then I saw them decimating the city.”  Then I say “Cloe, you need to rest, we start for home tomorrow.”  After all she’s been through, Cloe is still thoughtful “I don’t want to mess up your vacation Jaymes.  I’ll start out in a little while and try to sleep tonight.”  I shake my head “No Cloe, you’ll stay here today and tonight, you’ll sleep here tonight and we’ll all start out tomorrow.”  “Okay, but you don’t have to.  I think I’ll go lay down for a while now.” She says.  I don’t say anything, but Trudy says “Sleep well Cloe.”

I go to meditate as I’ve been deeply disturbed by what Cloe said that the people in my dream image were the same as the ones that kidnapped her and the others.  From behind Trudy asks “Why do you think they let her go?”  “If I had to guess,” I say “I’d count on her having a message for the whole tribe that she’s just not telling us.  Something about what they want and where to give it to them, or a place to meet to discuss terms.”  “You don’t think they did anything to her?” Trudy asks.  I tell her “I haven’t seen a change, but I’ll be watching closely.  You already have been, and the others will probably be more careful this time as well.”  Trudy turns away at this.  “What is it sweetie?”  “This time.” she says.  “I was just thinking about how much better it would have been if they’d seen it before and tried to help me.  I was too good at what I did though.”  I here Cloe come up behind us, Trudy doesn’t, so I just let her keep talking.  “So much rage all directed at that little girl.  All because she’s the only one who saw me for what I was.”  Cloe hugs Trudy and says “You were scared for Brady.”  Then she runs off and starts chasing a butterfly.  “Children are wonderful eh, Trudy?”  she’s too choked up to talk.

Later, at the tent, Trudy’s mood has improved greatly.  Cloe, Trudy and I exchange stories.  Holding Brady, Trudy reaches into her pack for the lunch bag.  “Oh no, we only have enough for three of us.”  I sit up, roll the log I’ve been laying on aside and dig until I find a few small worms and bugs.  “Yuck!  That’s disgusting Jaymes.” Cloe says.  “Its okay actually.  I had to survive for a month on Spaghetti Worms right after all the adults died.  “Spaghetti Worm?  I’ve never heard them called that before.”  Trudy says.  “Well, I don’t know what they’re really called, but the idea of eating them made me sick at first, so I just closed my eyes and told myself they were Spaghetti.  Now though, I can eat them all the time.  They really boost the energy, besides, you three ladies should eat the real food.  “Well,”  Trudy says “Its no fried rat, but it’ll do.”  I laugh hard and ask her what that’s all about.  She says “One time, Supreme Mother cooked Lex a rat she stole from KC and watched as he ate it.”  Cloe asks “Is that why he was puking the whole day after the race at the mall?”  Trudy shakes her head laughing and says “uh-huh”.  Cloe and Trudy share the laugh, and I notice that Trudy is speaking of her time as the Supreme Mother as if it happened to someone else.  That’s a good sign to see.  “I have to ask.”  I say “Does Lex know?”  Red faced from the laughing, Trudy says “No, I don’t think so.”  Laughing it up myself I say “Well, maybe Supreme Mother shouldn’t atone for everything she did.”  I can’t believe I actually said it, but to my surprise, she actually laughs.  Cloe says something that proves the point I’ve been trying to make to Trudy for a while now “I’m glad your not The Supreme Mother anymore…I didn’t like her.  I’m glad Trudy’s back.”

We leave Brady in Cloe’s care while we go out for a walk.  Trudy is unusually quiet.  I lay my head on her shoulder as we walk and ask “What are you thinking wife?”  “I’m not your wife yet.”  She says.  “You are in my mind.  Now, tell me what you were thinking.”  She smiles and tells me that she was thinking about what Cloe said.  “See, I told you.  Not even the one you hurt most thinks about you as Supreme Mother.”  There’s a bit of a breeze on the evening air, the sunlight sparkling in her eyes and the ring I gave her.  “We have to ask her what they told her.  They wouldn’t have let her go unless they planned her to carry a message.”  “True.” She says “But she hasn’t said so far, maybe she doesn’t want to.”  I look at a design I scrawled into the dirt and say “That or they scared her to keep her from talking.”  Trudy changes my train of thought with a kiss, then another and another.  We begin to get more into the mood and Cloe runs up wanting us to look at all the flowers that she and Brady picked.  I groan and lay flat on the ground, Trudy laughs and Cloe just looks confused.  “What’s going on?”  she asks us.  I look at her and say “I want you to remember this, Cloe.  Remember it well.  One day you’ll be in this situation.  When you are, I want you to find me.” Trudy giggles.  “I don’t get it?”  Cloe says, then I say “Me either Cloe, me either.”  “JAYMES!” Trudy says.

“Jaymes?” Cloe says, “What were you like before the virus?”  Trudy smiles.  I answer “Well Cloe, I was an angry child, full of pain, but repressed.  I could have been violent.”  “I never guessed that about you Jaymes.”  Trudy says.  I continue “As I grew older, the pain went away with my loneliness as I found a beautiful young woman to love.  I was a student at heart, collecting whatever knowledge I could find from every book I could get my hands on.  A bit of a nerd, but I watched after the people I loved closely.”  Trudy squeezes my hand softly, then says “Oh, I forgot.  Did I hurt you?”  I say no and Cloe asks what happened.  I recount the gory details.  “Anyway, when the virus hit I was in love, but I was away with my parents, so when the children scattered I couldn’t get back to her.”  I let it trail off.

As night begins to fall I ask  “Cloe, what kind of message did they give you for us?”  “They said tell the tribe ‘3 weeks, the beach’ and we will be coming.”  Cloe says “You haven’t asked about Ebony Jaymes.”  I tell her that I know how Ebony is, probably more than anyone else.  “What does that mean?”  Cloe asks.  “Secrets, Cloe, secrets.”  I stare at the fire thinking about Ebony.  I wonder, since Ryan and Patsy are there how she’s holding up.  I have to stop thinking about it.  “Time for bed girls.  We need to make an early start of it.”  “There’s not enough room for everyone in the tent.”  Trudy says.  “I’ll sleep outside Trudy.  You, Brady and Cloe take the tent and stay warm.”  There are protests, but I stick to my guns and they finally do as I ask.  Cloe hugs me and I tell her its good to have her back.  Trudy and I share a long goodnight kiss before she lays down.  “I love you wife.”  I tell her.  She smiles and says “I love you husband.”  I kiss Brady on the forehead and says “Goodnight little princess.”

After I find a good spot beside the tent and lay down, I hear Cloe ask if Trudy’s still awake.  Trudy says yes and Cloe asks her what the time between when she was kidnapped by the chosen and the time she returned to the mall was like.  Trudy tells her it was pure hell.  Then Cloe asks about me.  Trudy says “Jaymes was always the sweetest person I’ve ever known.”  “Always such a romantic even when he wasn’t trying to be, always loyal to those he loved.”  Trudy takes a breath then says “Even when I ignored him, he still cared more for the baby than Martin ever did while I was pregnant.”  The things that have happened to him since the virus, I’m surprised he hasn’t changed.”  Cloe asks “What happened to him?”  Trudy says to her “The Chosen killed his baby brother, they killed very good friends of his.  So many horrible things have happened to him, yet he’s still a romantic and can love me no matter what I’ve done.”  Then she says something that somehow I had never thought about, “Jaymes is just the father Brady needs.”  As I’m about to fall asleep Cloe asks Trudy, “So, have you guys ever…you know?”  Trudy doesn’t have time to answer because I yell in, “YOU ROTTEN LITTLE GIRL!  So you did know what was happening earlier.  Trudy and Cloe both giggle then we all fall asleep.

Before first light I wake up and get ready to go fishing when I see a deer standing no more than 10 feet from me.  I decide I have nothing to lose, so I slowly reach into my pack, which last night was a pillow and I get two of my throwing knives out.  I kiss it first for luck and let it fly.  It hits the lung.  It was a beautiful throw because the deer falls after only 5 steps.  It’s going to be wasted meat, but that can’t be helped, there are bigger things to worry about right now.  Trudy’s not much of a meat eater, but I hope she understands.  I’m cleaning the deer and getting it fixed to cook when Trudy comes out carrying Brady.  “Morning darling.” She says “Hey honey, how did you sleep?” I ask.  She says she slept well.  “Trudy, I know you’re not much to eat meat and all.  But it was just right there, and we need to get moving.”  Trudy kisses me as she sits down and says “Once won’t hurt.”  Cloe comes out then wiping tears from her eyes.  “What’s the matter Cloe?” Trudy asks.  “I had a dream where Patsy was hurt.  I miss her.”  Trudy says “We all do Cloe.  She’ll be back soon.”

After we eat, I bury what’s left of the deer while Cloe and Trudy pack the gear, we leave immediately.  There’s no stopping for rest like we had been, and by the end of the day we’re at the place where Trudy and I spent the night after I asked her to marry me.  The closer we get to home the more worried I become.  I whisper to myself “Maybe Patsy and Cloe were right to be afraid of me.  How can these dreams be true?”  A few minutes later I hear Cloe say “WHAT?”  then hear her running towards me.  “Is it true Jaymes?”  “Is what true?”  she looks at me and says “Is it true what Trudy says, that you’ll leave the tribe when everyone comes back?”  “Well little one, when I said that I wasn’t engaged to Trudy, but its possible I’ll still leave.”  “You can’t leave Jaymes, you just can’t…You and Trudy are Mallrats, you have to stay with us.”  I tell Cloe she needs to get to sleep, tomorrow’s going to be a hard day walking, and I want her ready.

Trudy comes up from her walk around and says “Do you still plan on leaving when we get Ryan and the others back?”  “I’ve been trying not to think about it Trudy.  I’ve never known what it was like to have a family since this virus hit.  I’ve been moving so much I’m almost afraid to stop.  Like I told Cloe, when I said that, we weren’t together.  I can’t ask you to leave your home or family.”  I wrap my arms around her and she lays her head on my chest and says “I’ll follow where you lead me husband.”  She sounds sad, so I pull one of her tricks and say “I’m not your husband yet.”  Happy tears well in my eyes when she replies just as I did yesterday “You are in my mind.”  Trudy eases fears she doesn’t know I have.  “Its time for you to go to bed too Trudy.”  She says “You let me decide when it’s my bedtime.”  I look at her lovingly and say, “We have another long day tomorrow.  I want to be at the mall by nightfall if possible.”  When I lay down on the ground, Trudy lays with me.  “You need to go in the tent sweetie and sleep with Brady.”  Trudy replies “She’ll be fine with Cloe, and we’re right out here.  Your burdens are my burdens.”  I’m surprised to hear her say something like that, but I reply “and yours’ mine wife, and yours’ mine.”  Before we sleep, we finish up where Cloe interrupted us yesterday.

In the early morning long before its time to go, Trudy and I are talking.  Should we tell the others about our marriage?  Trudy thinks it might be good to wait, I on the other hand think we should tell them.  It’d be good to offset the bad news of the coming battle or whatever.  “I think Jaymes is right, you should tell them.  It’ll make everybody happy instead of being sad over everything.” Cloe says, just waking up.  “I think you’re out-voted wife of mine.”  I look around and groan.  “What is it?” Trudy asks “Is it your hands?”  “No, they’re fine, I just don’t want to have to fish this morning.  I’m gonna make a few animal traps for my weapons pack.”  “Will you go with me Trudy?”  she says yes then collects Brady and we’re off.

I cast the fishing lines, start a fire and we wait.  Cloe is holding Brady and playing with her and Trudy and I have our heads on each other’s shoulders looking out at the water.  Trudy looks to Cloe and says “This is where he asked me.”  She points and says “Right over there.”  I squeeze her hand and I say to Cloe “But the sky was prettier then.  Nice purple color, a little lighter than this in Trudy’s hair.”  Cloe smiles.

Finally after an hour we have the fish.  I look at them while we’re eating and say “I hate fish.  Soon as we get back to the mall I’m finding me the biggest piece of sugar candy, crush it and eat it.”  Cloe looks at me as says “What!  You’ll eat worms, but you hate fish?”  “Worms don’t have tiny little bones, fresh, straight from the water fish does.”

We get started just as its getting light out, and we again, don’t stop.  As we’re passing the old chosen base, I say “We’re not making it tonight, we’d best find that cave again.”  Cloe says “What’s wrong with this place?, its got a gate and its right here.”  As diplomatically as I can make it sound I say “I discovered there were problems with this place when we were here a few days ago.”  Trudy looks at me and says “Maybe there’s not as much problem this time.  Lets go in, you can look around.”  As Cloe runs in to sit down, I whisper to Trudy “Are you sure?”  “No, but we need to rest, and Brady’s tired.”  “I’ll be here.” I tell her.  Whispering again I say “Trudy, we’ll need to eat.  Did you…um, did they keep any food supplies in here?  I’m sorry Trudy.”  “Its okay Jaymes, we all need to get over that.  They used to have stuff, back through this passage and to the left.”

I go to the place Trudy pointed out and I try to locate the food.  There are wood crates, most have been opened.  Plenty of plastic containers of water.  Still digging through the things I see a baby basket and it starts me on a path of painful thoughts, what the chosen did to my brother, what they did to Trudy and Brady, Vhan and Yiba.  I lose it.  Screaming and throwing things.  Trudy and Cloe come running to see what’s wrong.  I’m kicking the baby basket when they find me.  The noise makes Brady cry and that stops my rage.  Cloe looks at me and says “Jaymes, what’d the baby bed do to you?”  Tears streaming down my face I look at Trudy and say “More than you’d ever imagine Cloe, more than you’d ever imagine.”  Then “I found food, let’s eat.”

I kiss Trudy before going to sleep.  We don’t talk, I just whisper “Here I thought you’d be the one hurt by coming here.”

We make the mall by midday and shock everyone by coming back so soon.  Alice, Ellie, Jack and Dal are there at one table.  Lex and Tai-San are talking at another.  KC is playing a game.  “Where are Salene, Bray and Danni?”  I ask.  Just then, they walk down the stairs together.  Highly odd.  Salene says “Jaymes, Trudy! What are you doing home so soon.”  I say “We found some stolen property, and thought we’d return it.”  Cloe comes around the corner.  Everyone gasps in surprise and they all say their ‘Hi’ and their ‘What happened’ then the most frightening thing happens.  Cloe catches sight of Bray and says, in an evil voice voice “As a pestilence upon the land they come forth to kill us all.”  Then she passes out.

Chapter 10—The Gathering

 When Cloe passes out I grab her up and take her to her room, which has laid empty since she and Patsy were taken.  Trudy follows me, along with Salene and Bray.  “Salene, take Brady we’re going to be here a while.  Trudy, run and get Tai-San.  Bray, you’ve got questions, ask them and get out.”  Bray looks at me like I’ve got guts.  “What happened to her?”  he asks.  I reply to him “I don’t know.  She was normal, too normal…happy even, until she walked in and saw you there.”  He asks “Did she say how she was treated?”  “She told me and Trudy that they treated them all okay.  Nothing happened until she saw you.” I tell him.  “What do you think happened?”  Bray asks.  I tell him my best guess is a compulsion, hypnosis.  There’s no reason she’d be normal with us and then be off the wall like that.  “Trudy did just that before.” Bray says.  I stare at him.  “I’m sorry Jaymes, but it’s exactly the way she acted.”  Trudy comes in followed by Tai-San and says “He’s right Jaymes, I did.”  I kiss her for the fist time in a while and say “Still, I hate to have you reminded sweetie.”  Lightening the mood, Bray asks “So, Jaymes that thing you had me help with before you left?”  I wrap my arm around Trudy and say “Don’t tell anybody yet.  Cloe’s the only one who knows…we were hoping to tell everyone later.  Happy up the mood and all.”   As Bray walks out he kisses Trudy and says to her “see, I told you you’d find someone to make you happy one day”, I remember what Cloe said and I say “Bray.  She told us we have three weeks.”

 Tai-San looks over Cloe to make sure she’s okay.  “I can’t figure out what’s wrong with her.  I need to meditate.”  Then she leaves.

 “So, when do we tell them Trudy?”  I ask her wrapping her up in my arms.  “Let’s get Cloe stable first, then we’ll see.”  Then she says “Why didn’t we see it Jaymes?  Why couldn’t we see the change?”  Trudy turns in my arms and lays her head against my chest and cries.  “I think she’ll be fine when she wakes up Trudy.  I don’t believe it’s the same.”

 I stand guard outside of Cloe’s room while Trudy looks after her.  Amber comes to the room and starts to go in.  I stop her.  “Jaymes, move, I’m going to check on her.”  “Trudy and Tai-San only.”  “Jaymes, move.” She says.  “Eagle, I’ll hurt you if I have to.  Nobody gets in.  I’m taking care of her.”  I say.  Then Amber says “Jaymes if you don’t…”  I interrupt her by taking a knife from my belt and holding it to her throat.  “Leave now!”  as Amber leaves, Trudy runs past saying she’ll be back, she catches up to Amber and I hear her say “They’re just getting along Amber, and he’s afraid…he found out that one of his dreams is true.  The people that held Cloe and the others…he’s been dreaming about them destroying us and the city.  He’s just scared for her.”  When she comes back I stop her.  She says “What, you’ll hold a knife to my throat now?”  “No, but I’ll give you this…”  and I kiss her.  “Thank you for talking to Amber, Trudy.  I love you.”

After several hours Trudy says “Jaymes, come quick, she’s waking up.”  I sit come and sit on the edge of the bed when she does.  “What happened?” She asks.  “You don’t remember Cloe?”  I ask her.  “No.” she says.  “What do you remember Cloe?”  I remember walking into the mall and seeing Bray, then nothing till just now.  What did I do?”  Trudy tells her what she said.  Cloe says “They took me into a room and made me watch Brays picture flash over and over.  With that phrase playing over and over through a speaker.  Every day for the last month and a half that I was there.  Strapped me to a chair and put me on a thing to hold my eyes open.”  Trudy asks “What else did they do to you?”  Cloe tells her nothing.  “Cloe, I’m the one person who’d know better.  What else did they do?”, Cloe again says they didn’t do anything else.  Trudy screams at her then “YOU TELL ME WHAT THEY DID TO YOU!  ARE YOU MEANT TO HURT US?”  Cloe starts crying “Trudy please stop.  They tied me up, treated me like an animal.  Please stop screaming.”  I walk over to Trudy “Honey, stop it.”  Trudy looks at me with a wild look in her eyes “No, we have to find out now.”  The screaming brings Bray, Alice and Tai-San.  I say “Alice, take Trudy to her room please.”  Trudy starts to fight and Bray grabs onto her as well.  They take her away.  Cloe is still crying.  “Will you be alright Cloe?”  I ask her.  “She’s acting just like she did when she was with the Chosen, Jaymes.”  I tell her that Trudy is just afraid because of that.  “I think she’s just trying so hard to make up for her own pain that she’s not looking at the fact there may not be a problem to solve.  Tai-San, will you stay with her while I go speak to Trudy?”  she smiles and says “Of course.”

I make my way to Trudy’s room, ignoring Lex, Jack & Ellie and all the rest as well.  When I get to her room, Trudy has Brady there, fussing over her and Salene is still there talking to her.  I nod to the door and say “Salene, if you would, and take Brady with you please.”  When she leaves I go into it, loud.  “What was all that about Trudy?”  she replies “She’s been made to do something else Jaymes, I know it.”  I tell her she needs to let it go, that just because it happened to her doesn’t mean Cloe is at risk.  “They wouldn’t waste all that time on her if they intended her to just carry a message, Jaymes.”  I say “You heard the way she did it Trudy.  Her voice changed.  A person has to be trained to do that like that.  Besides, she didn’t do it until she saw Bray.  The way they did it indicates that the message was all she was meant for.”  Trudy says “She’s here for another reason.  I have to stop it this time.”  I came in here ready to scream at her, but hearing her voice, the pain in it, I can’t bear it and I just lay down with her and say “I’m sorry Trudy.  This has to be bad memories for you.”  then I say “Supreme Mother knows how well a person can hide the rage they’ve been forced to feel.  If she is meant for something else, we need to watch.”  I sit on the bed and she lays her head on my leg.  I play with her hair and I sing a tune, a song from long before the virus, a song called In Your Wildest Dreams by a band called The Moody Blues.  When I finish, she kisses me and says “I think its time we told them, don’t you?”  “When will we have the ceremony?”  I ask her.  “When do you think is best?  After everyone is back?”  I tell her it’s a good time.

We first go to see if Cloe is okay, when she sees Trudy, she’s scared at first, but Trudy apologizes and soothes her fears telling her how her time as the Supreme Mother has made her afraid of things like this.  Tai-San is still there, just as she said.  “Cloe, you feeling up to leaving your room for a few minutes?”  I ask her.  “Sure, what’s wrong?” she says in reply.  “Just thought we’d let the rest of them in on what Trudy told you that first day you were with us.”  Cloe smiles then gets up.  We go with Tai-San following. I grab a bucket and a broken mop handle and start making as much noise as I can.  Soon the whole tribe, except our missing is there.  Lex looks like he just got out of bed or something, and Bray is worked up.  Looks like he and Danni got an interruption like Trudy and I got the other day.  Amber is looking like she’s mad I bothered her.  Course, someone threatening to kill you isn’t something you forgive easy.  Especially if it comes from a person sworn to keep you alive at all costs.

Alice asks “What’s this all about Jaymes?  There’s work to be done you know.”  Several others agree.  Trudy has the ring pulled out from under her shirts I notice.  “Well, I just thought I should share the good news with my family.”  I say.  Jack asks “What news is that?”  “I’m glad you asked that Jack.  It proves at least one of you is interested.”  Lex chimes in saying “Will you get on with it already?  I’m about to die of boredom over here.”  “Oh, I love you too Lex.”  I say joking.  Amber speaks up “Jaymes, some of us have more important things to do than get called in to listen to a comedy routine.”  I look at her.  I guess I am a little too happy, but I have a right to be don’t I?  “I am taking too long, huh Bray?”  “Take your time man, it’s your day.  They don’t want to hear it and share it, they can leave.”  Several shocked looks at Bray, then back to me, much more interested.  “Well, I wanted to tell the members of my new family that a dream I’ve held a long time, one of my good dreams, is coming true before my eyes.  While Trudy and I were on the trip, I asked her to be my wife…and she accepted.”  A round of applause and cheers go up from the crowd that wanted me to stop bothering them a few minutes ago.  Even Amber is happy for me, I see tears in her eyes.  All is forgiven for earlier, I know that, but I will still apologize.

After answering all the questions of when the wedding will be and all that, I tell Trudy I’m going for a walk.  “I’ll go with you.”  she says.  “No, I need time to be alone.  That and I’m going to apologize to Amber for earlier.”  “Okay then” she says, then “I’ll miss you.”  Trudy steals a kiss as I start to walk away.

“Can I come in Eagle?”  I ask Amber.  “Of course.”  I just sit for a while and Eagle finally says “You never could do it Wolf.”  “What’s that Eagle?”  “You never could say you were sorry for doing something stupid.  It comes from a deep misguided belief that you never make a wrong move.”  “I was just thinking Eagle, that today is the first time I’ve ever made a threat against you.”  “Yes, it is.” She says.  “That’s why I’ve been avoiding you.  I was more hurt than I was angry.”  “I’m sorry Eagle.  I just feel so protective over her, because I’m about to be a thrust into fatherhood, and because I didn’t keep Cloe safe before, and she’s not scared of me anymore Eagle.  She isn’t scared.”  “I’m glad Jaymes.”  Then she sits back and says “I never thought the day would come when a woman would tame my Wolf.”  I remember the trip and I say “Raven wanted me to send his greetings.”  Amber smiles and says “Raven…haven’t seen him in ages.  How are Vhan and Yiba?”  when I don’t answer she says “Wolf?  What is it?”  “Raven and the other men were out on a hunting party when a group of renegade Chosen came to the camp.  When the women wouldn’t share supplies they were killed along with the children.  Vhan and Yiba among them.”  Eagle can only manage to say “Yiba was so young.”

The three weeks we were given by those holding our people hostage go by quickly.  The first two weeks was battle planning and putting together supplies and weapons.  I restock my weapons including the ones I traded KC for Trudy’s ring and I manage to locate a couple of really nice swords to add to everything.  During the planning what we’ll do, I find out that our enemy calls themselves ‘Jaikarim’.   The start of the third week sees Bray, Lex and I leave out to stake out the beach.  I’m kind of thrown into a leadership position since I’ve lived the most time outdoors.

Before we leave I ask to be alone with Trudy for a while and she and I have some uninterrupted time together to say goodbye.  When that’s done we go out to the main area where everyone is gathered to watch us off.  I hug her and kiss the top of her head, and I kiss Brady on the forehead.  Trudy, with Brady in hand says “Come home to us husband.”  “Whatever my wife commands.”  Then, as I walk out I turn to Amber and almost ready to cry, I say to her “Eagle…remember your promise.”

We make the area around the beach pretty quick and we survey the area, nobody around.  So we build a fire up and start talking about things.  I’m nervous about being away from Trudy during battle conditions.  I bring out the stone that Lex searched out for me.  I find it really does help to relieve stress if I focus my thoughts on it.  Bray notices me looking at it and asks about it.  “A couple of good friends gave me this, told me that it would help me focus my inner strength and it would protect my dreams.” I tell him.  “You okay Jaymes?” he asks.  I tell him that I’m just worried about leaving Trudy and Brady alone.  “Lot of baggage in that marriage.” Lex says.  I don’t like that comment, but rather than start an argument I go for silent intimidation by sharpening my swords and staring at him.  Lex tries to get to talk about how ‘great’ Trudy is.  “Don’t see as that’s your business, do you?”  he tries to goad me by saying “Sorry mate, just figured you’d know.  You can tell me when you find out.”  Then he say, half smiling, “Maybe I’ll give her a go before you guys tie the old knot.”  Bray just looks at the ground shaking his head, he’s known Lex longer than me.  I look to Lex and I take the sword and hold to his neck and I say “Speaking disrespectfully about my fiancée probably isn’t such a good idea is it?”  for a second he doesn’t know what to do then he apologizes and the three of us sit quietly for a long time.

Lex finally says “I just can’t take it anymore, what happens if the chosen come back and your wife there gets taken up with it all again.”  He means it seriously, but I want to joke a bit now. “Well, I guess I’d go with her.”  Bray’s eyes shoot open “Oh, well you could go too Bray.  I mean, hey, I’m about to be The Supreme Stepfather, and Bray, you’re the Supreme Uncle.  I’m sure they’d make room.”  Bray actually gets a good laugh from that.  Lex looks at me “Sure, now we’re joking about your woman.”  Then says “Best not let her hear you make jokes like that mate.  She’ll have your sack.”

More small talk.  It’s a pattern that goes for the rest of the week.  We set ourselves up on a 24 hour a day watch.  The night before the scheduled time, we see these Jaikarim arrive.  Dozens of them come marching onto the beach.  At least 60.  They look almost like the chosen, except they wear all black, faces covered, and those swords, just like my dream and just like Cloe said.  “We need to think about getting the other tribes together.  We won’t be able to take them alone if anything happens.”

As the next day dawns we watch these people wake, shortly after we eat the fresh kill Bray got this morning, we decide its time to go meet them.  I adjust my weapons, and hide what I can, leaving only my swords and sprites exposed.  Bray says “I do the talking.”  Lex starts in, but I say “Bray’s the calm one here, he talks.”

We meet the Jaikarim in the middle of the beach, and before Bray can speak a dozen guards surround us, swords to our throats.  The Jaikarim who appears to be in charge says “I am Tralus, do not speak or we will kill you.”  waiting to see if we say anything he then says “We contacted your tribe because you are in charge.  Everyone, all tribes leave the city or else we kill you all.  You have 2 months.”  Bray starts to say something, then Tralus reminds him “Speak and you die.  You’ve been given extra incentive to comply with our orders.”  At his order, all the marchers, again as one, leave the beach.

“What did they mean ‘extra incentive’?”  Bray says.  We make our way back to the mall still talking amongst the three of us about what the Jaikarim meant and what they were capable of, and how the other tribes won’t leave.  Still, we need to talk to them and we need to try to get the on our side, so I tell Bray “After a night of rest I’ll go talk to the Eco’s and I’ll talk to Moz and her girls.”  Lex laughs “You?  Talk to Moz?  She’ll eat you for supper.”  I look at Lex and say “I don’t know, I think I can convince her.”

When we get to the mall, we find a hideous site.  Its in shambles, looks like its been attacked by a pack of bulls on steroids.  Bray and Lex are screaming for anyone who can hear.  I’ve got my swords drawn and I do a room to room check, starting of course with Trudy’s.  She isn’t there and neither is Brady.  Thoughts of the dream come back, but I push them away.  Halfway through the room to room search I hear crying.  I look and see Cloe crying and holding a bundle.  “Cloe, what happened?”  she screams “Yesterday.  They came like wild animals and took them all!  Except us and Brady!”  I think to myself “Us?”  then look around to see Patsy cowering in a corner.  I walk over to her lean over her “Oh Patsy, are you hurt?”  She doesn’t say anything.  “She said they told her that she was the guide.  She’ll lead you out of the city and to the new place our people are being held.  She hasn’t said a word since.”  “Is Brady okay Cloe?”  she says yes, that they didn’t find her or bother her.  “Is there anyone left?” I ask her “No.”  I then ask “Any dead?”  “Don’t think so.  They aren’t interested in hurting anyone, they just want the city.” She replies.  I tell her I’m leaving and to come get me if something happens to Brady or if Patsy starts talking again.  I look at Patsy and say “I’m glad you’re back little one.”

I meet Bray and Lex by the statue.  “There’s nobody here.”  Lex says.  “Cloe said the Jaikarim came in yesterday and took everyone.” I tell them.  Bray says “Cloe’s here?”  I nod and add “Along with Patsy and Brady.  Lex grunts and says “Why would they leave those three?”  Bray says it before I do “Slow us down, and not give us anyone who can fight.  That’s why they didn’t give us Ryan or Ebony.”  From behind us Patsy screams.  I run to her and say “What is it Patsy?  What happened?”  between sobs she says “Ebony, she’s….she’s working with them.”  My mouth on the floor, I say “No.”  I sit down on the steps.  “She can’t be.”

Lex, Patsy and Cloe are sitting with us and Bray says “Stay with us Jaymes, remember she needs you to keep it together right now.”  I’m sitting here staring at the end of the braid of Ebony’s hair I had Salene help me tie in my own hair.  “I’m not going anywhere this time.  I’m keeping it together.  I’m going to get my wife back.”  Patsy looks at Cloe and whispers “Who’d marry him?  he’s too scary.”  Cloe says louder “Jaymes isn’t scary Patsy, he’s sweet.  He and Trudy are getting married.”  Patsy’s eyes go wide and she says “Really!”  then she looks at me and says “Maybe he isn’t so bad then.”  “That’s what I said” Cloe tells her.

I go into the room Trudy and I have shared since sometime after Ebony was taken.  Ebony…she can’t really be working with them, can she?  I lay there on the bed.  Cloe and Patsy are in there too, because everything to take care of Brady is in there.  “How many people do they have Patsy?”  I ask her.  “I don’t know” she says “a hundred, hundred and fifty.”  I look up at the ceiling.  “Oh good, we only have to kill 50 a piece.”  Cloe says “Don’t you mean 30?”  “150 divided by 3 equals 50 Cloe.” I tell her.  She looks at me weird and says “I know math silly, and you should have been dividing by 5.”  She and Patsy are looking at me smiling.  “Oh no.  You two aren’t fighting.” I tell them.   Patsy says “Why not!  We’re not little kids anymore.”  I tell her that she and Cloe have a much bigger mission in all this.  “You two have to look after little Brady while we go get Trudy and the others back.”  “Well, I’m going to sleep.  You want to leave Brady in here?”  They say okay then leave after saying they’ll be in to check on her later.

When the girls leave I take Brady from her crib and sit on the bed with her.  I bounce her and I wipe her cheeks where she’s got a little stuff on them.  Her little mouth turns into a smile.  “I couldn’t keep her safe this time baby.”  I lean up against the head of the bed and I say “What would we do without her Brady?  I don’t think I can take it if I can’t get you mommy back.”  I kiss Brady on the forehead again and I say “Don’t you worry though.  I’ll take care of you if we don’t get her back.  I’ll take you to the mountains somewhere where all we have to worry about is how hot it gets in the summer and how cold it gets in the winter.  Just like I was going to do with us all as a family.”  I sit holding her silently for a while then I say “At least I’m not scaring your aunt Cloe anymore.  I think aunt Patsy is warming up to me too.”  As I put her back in the crib I say to her “You little miracle.  You’re the only thing Zoot can be praised for.”  Bray hears me say that as he enters and say “Isn’t that the truth.  How’s my niece?”  I tell him she isn’t injured and they must have taken care to not hurt her.  “At least they have some respect.”  Bray says.  “Bray, I’m leaving tomorrow.  I’m going to find a place for the Cloe and Brady, and try to mobilize a few people.  I assume you’ll try to get a few of your own?”  he says “Yeah, and Lex is going too.”  I tell him I’m going to take Patsy and I’m going to see Moz.  “If you think that’ll work, go ahead.”  I tell him I think I can convince her.  I make sure he knows that he’s taking Cloe and Brady with him tomorrow.

The next day I wake up early and wait for Patsy to wake up.  The girls checked on Brady, and even me, several times last night.  One of the times she came in I told Patsy I’d like her to go with me on my trip.  She agreed, she’s not warming up to me as fast as Cloe did, but she’s getting there.  After breakfast we start out towards Moz’s territory.  “I didn’t tell anybody else Patsy, but I want you to take me to the Jaikarim stronghold after we talk to Moz.  “Why do you want to go see Moz anyway?” Patsy asks me.  “We need everyone we can get.”  I tell her, then I ask “Will you take me to the Jaikarim?”  she tells me she will if I want her to.

“Nobody gets in!” a couple of Moz’s girl goons inform me.  “Just let me in.” I tell them.  Moz comes out then “They say there’s a Mallrat out here…YOU!.  What are you doing here?”  “Needed to talk to you.”  I tell her.  “I need your help Moz.”  Patsy is watching the exchange silently, but carefully.  “You’ve only asked my help one other time Jaymes.”  It’s a good thing her back is to her people because the tear in my eye is in hers too.  “The only other time I’ve asked you for anything Moz is when Ghany was killed.”  Moz tells her people to get inside says “Lets walk”, then asks “What do you need me to do baby brother?”  Patsy’s eyes go wide at this as I say to Moz “I need you to look after a little girl and a baby.”  “I’m not a babysitter little brother.”  “Sis, please.  The kid can’t fight and the baby’s going to be my step-daughter.  I need to make sure they’re safe.”  Moz almost smiles when I tell her about my step-daughter.  “You’re getting married Jaymes?  I’m glad to hear it.  Guess I’ll have to get a wedding gift now.”  I smile at her a little and say “Spare a few of your people to help fight, that’d be a good gift.  They’ve got my woman.”  “Oh Jaymes,” Moz says “I’m sorry.”  Patsy is still looking wide eyed at us.  I look at her and say “See Patsy, there’s a soul in everybody.”  Then I say “I expect you to keep this to yourself girl.”  Moz gets back in the conversation and asks “How many do you need?”  I tell her I can use everybody she gives me.  “Who’re you fighting?”  “Some new group called The Jaikarim.”  Her eyes go as wide as Patsy’s were just a moment ago “Are you insane little brother?  You’re gonna get yourself hurt!  Everybody that’s bothered them have got slaughtered.”  “Moz, they want the city.  They contacted the ‘rats cause they’ve got a good line in the city.  We’re supposed to be telling people they’ve got two months to get out.”

After agreeing to watch Cloe and Brady and keep them safe she and I go off on a little walk by ourselves.  “What have you been doing with yourself little brother?” Moz asks me.  I tell her “After Ghany died, I wandered around a long time.  I got in a pretty bad way a little over a year ago and got myself busted good.  The Mallrats found me and nursed me out of a coma.  I’ve been with them since.”  “So,” she asks “Who’s this girl you’re fixin’ to marry?”  I tell her its Trudy from the Mallrats.  “You’re marrying the Supreme Mother?  You’re one screwed up kid little brother.”  “She’s not like that anymore sis.  She’s really sweet and she takes good care of me.  She reminds me a lot of mom.”  I tell her I think it’s time I go.  “Have your people come by ASAP.  I’ll bring the girls before we leave.”  Moz nods her head, then I ask her “I’ve got your word, the girls, especially my daughter, will be safe with you?”  “My people won’t hurt them.”  We embrace and I whisper in her ear “I love you sis.”  She looks at me and says “Me too.”  “Goodbye Moz.” I say.  “Bye Jaymes.”

I decide not to go to face the Jaikarim today, I spent most of the day with Moz so Patsy and I go back to the mall.  I’m not talking much.  “You miss Trudy, don’t you Jaymes?”  “Yes, I do.” I tell her.  “I love her and Brady more than anything.”  Patsy says “See, I told you she was totally in love with you, didn’t I?”  I look at her “Yes you did little beauty.”  I find Patsy to be very wise in her youth and innocence.  “Bet people are loving that you’re marrying the supreme mother.”  I reply “You have no idea.”  Patsy giggles and says “Marrying the supreme mother and Moz is your sister.  All we need next is to hear that you knew Zoot and you’d officially be the scariest person ever.”  I look at her with a goofy grin on my face and say “Do I get a little certificate with that title?”  Patsy says “You’ve got to be joking!”  “Well, he wasn’t Zoot yet, but I knew him.  None of that Power and Chaos and Four Wishes crap.”

When we get back, I find Bray and Lex talking to each other about plans of attack.  “How’d we do on gathering people?”  Bray says “I got some of the Eco-Tribe.  Had a hard time of it till I dropped the names Eagle and Wolf and said they were in trouble.  I said that and they had to force people not to sign up.”  Lex says he got some outcasts “had to tell ‘em we’d feed them though.”  They ask how I did.  “Moz said she’d give me whoever she could spare, and she’ll take care of the girls.”  Bray asks “You trust her to watch after Brady?” Patsy smiles a little, and I say “I trust her.  She won’t do anything to hurt them.”  “Lex says “You’re sure.”  I look at them and say “You think I’m going to leave Brady with somebody I can’t trust”  That’s all that takes.

The remainder of the day is just us waiting around to go to bed.  Patsy and Cloe are the only ones in good spirits, that’s because they don’t have to worry about what’s coming, so they just have to watch Brady and play with her and each other.

The next day we all go out trying to find more people to help us.  The going is slow, but Patsy and I manage to sign up a few from Tribe Circus and some old Locos and Chosen who ran.  The old Locos were keen to help their queen, and the Chosen who still held a spark of belief were more than happy to help the mate of their Supreme Mother.

Moz sends her people over.  A lot, looks like she sent half her tribe.  They treat me like a king, saying that Moz told them to follow my every order like it was hers, they aid with the cleanup of the mall quite well.  My sister trains her people very well.

At the end of the week Bray, Lex, Patsy, Cloe and I wake to a huge noise.  I think we all thought it was our time to die, but when we go outside we see hundreds of people…nearly 500 in total, Moz’s people tell us, all chanting “MALLRATS!  MALLRATS!”  I walk to one of Moz’s girls and ask “Did you guys tell them to do that?”  She says “No.”  I look out over this force we have and I hold Brady and say “We’ll have mommy back soon little one.”

Chapter 11—The Final Battle

 A few days before the battle I take Cloe and Brady to Moz so she can watch them while we’re gone to battle, Patsy goes with me though she isn’t staying since she knows where our people are.

 When we get there, I thank her for sending all those people to us.  Tell her about others showing up.  “How many people you got?” she asks me “Nearly 500,”  I tell her.  “They’re outclassed nearly three to one from what I’m hearing.”  She shows me to the room she had set up for the girls and Brady.  “Thanks Moz.  I appreciate this.”  She smiles at me and says “Least I could do for my little brother and my niece.”  Cloe raises an eyebrow and says “Oh god, first you’re marrying the Supreme Mother, and now….” I stop her “Alright you, I heard this from miss Patsy there already.”  Moz turns to me and smiles a little.  “Thanks again sis.”  “No problem.  Just come back.  I already lost Ghany, don’t want to go through that again.”  “I’ll be back sis”

 Before Patsy and I leave I pick up Brady and hug her and bounce her a bit.  “I love you little princess.”  Then as I put her down I say “I’ll be back soon with your momma.  You be a good girl for Aunt Moz now.”

 The day comes when we leave.  Patsy directs us northwest.  We walk, our little legion of cobbled together tribes, loud but it’s a reassuring sound to hear.  “Here that Lex?”  I ask him.  “What?”  “That roar, that’s the sound of victory and getting our loves back home where they belong.”

 We’re not doing great, real weapons are few, but every little bit helps I guess.  Hopefully the sheer numbers overwhelm them to the point of not being able to resist us.  “Bray, when we get to their camp, I’m breaking off, gonna find a back entrance.  I’m set for an assault on a building more than the rest.”  “You’re taking some people with you, right?” he asks.  “I’ll take about 20 with me.  The rest of you will do a front assault on the building while I take my people to the back.”

 We stop our people pretty far back.  Lex stays behind and Bray, Patsy and I scout ahead.  When we get there, our jaws drop.  “You said 150 maximum Patsy.”  I say as I look at numbers which are closer to even with our own.  At first I think she’s been made like Cloe, hypnotized to work with them, but she is as shocked as anyone, and besides, how could they have known we’d show up?  “Oh well, it’s going to be a fair fight then.  Even better.”  Bray looks at me shocked and says “Are you insane?  We don’t stand a chance against that!”  “A phrase that’s got me through the worst times Bray:  The honor isn’t in the winning or losing…its in the attempt.”  I meditate for a few minutes, thinking about Trudy and Brady, and I hold the stone that Lex and Tai-San gave me.  Then I say “Bray…gather the troops.  Its time.”  While he’s gone, I take out my knife and I cut my hand with it.  Patsy asks why I’m doing this and I tell her “To appease the gods.  There should be blood in ever war.  I’ve bled now, so perhaps the gods will protect me and take me to Trudy.”  Patsy looks confused, but I change the subject.  “Is Ebony really working with these people Patsy?”  “Yes Jaymes, the only time she was ever in a cage is when the pictures were taken.  Otherwise she was always out and about, she used the raid as a way to meet up with them.  Its why she was taken, the rest of us were just to cover for it.”

 When Bray returns with the troops, I yell to the group “All old locos and Chosen with me.”  I told Bray I’d have 20, turns out I’ve got closer to 70 with me.  Oh well, the more I have the easier my task will be.  I look to them and I say “We’ve got the back door.  We hit fast, we hit hard.”  I hold up a Jaikarim robe and I say “and if it’s wearing one of these, I want it dead!”  I survey the area again and I say “Bray, you and Lex get a ten minute lead.”  When they take off, I look to Patsy.  “You need to get yourself headed in the other direction.  Go to Moz and stay there until somebody comes to get you.  If nobody comes, I want your word you and Cloe will watch after Brady for me and Trudy.”  “I’m helping fight Jaymes.”  She says.  I look at her and say “Patsy, you’re always saying you’re not a little kid anymore.  I want you to act like it and go see that the baby is looked after.”  Patsy leans over and hugs me just a bit and says “I see why Trudy loves you.”  then she says “I’ll see that Brady’s safe.”  Then she runs off.

 After the 10 minutes are up, I take my people around the back.  Just as the back of the Jaikarim stronghold is coming into view, the sounds of battle erupt on the other side.  When we reach the building, we see fighting like crazy and many of the fighters at the back running towards the front.  We make our move then.  The Locos and Chosen are some of the best fighters I’ve ever seen, of course I’ve heard Zoot was a fanatic trainer, and the Guardian was unhappy if you didn’t move fast and move well…and people died when the Guardian was unhappy.

 Out the back entrance, nearly a 40 more troops flood out of the facility.  This is a huge building.  Two stories and all told I’d say it could hold upwards of 2 to 3 thousand people.  I’m taking out Jaikarim left and right, not bothering to try to be non-violent.  Trudy is all that matters.  As I take out another group of enemy with one of my special sprites that actually explodes and sends metal out, I feel pressure on the back of my head and the world turns black.

 I wake up and at first I think I’m dreaming again because it’s exactly as it was in the dream.  I’m in a room, its too dark to see anything and I’ve been stripped of my weapons and clothes.  The differences are evident right away, as in the room with me a voice says “You’re awake finally.”  I ask “Who are you?”  the person says “I am Baval, the person who will be killing you shortly.”  Lights come on and for a moment I’m blinded by the brightness.  When my eyes adjust, I hear “Or perhaps Baval will be kind and allow me to do it.”  I turn to see Ebony standing there in a grand purple, black and red leather dress.  I had hoped that Patsy was wrong, the dashed hope makes me start crying.  “Ah,” Ebony says “More tears!”  I look at her and say “Why are you doing this Ebony?”  she calmly looks at me and says “Because the world is changing before our eyes, the pestilence is upon us and you can either be eaten, or be left to pick up in the aftermath.  Soon, we’ll find Bray and Lex and the rest of your rebels and you’ll either be dead, or our slaves.”  I look at Baval and Ebony as they stand together and say “You will not break me.”  Ebony comes close to the cage and says “Perhaps we don’t have to…perhaps we can break the little woman.”  My tears actually stop at that, the anger focusing my mind, anger that I won’t let show.  “So, that’s what this is all about Ebony.  Trudy finally stole the man from you and you can’t take it.”  “SHUT UP!” she says.  I continue anyway “Oh, Ebony…you are so transparent.  Do you know yet how she felt when you took Bray from her?  or is it that you’re jealous that she had something with Zoot that he never thought you were good enough for?”  “SHUT UP! SHUT UP!” she screams again. “Does this make up for it Ebony?” I ask her.  “Does it make up for what?”  she asks.  “Does destroying people who love each other make up for never having a real love yourself?”  I reply.  With sadness in her voice, she says “You have no idea what a person will suffer in love’s name.”  As Baval enters the room again she yells  “Put him with the others!”  as the guards take me away I yell “EBONY!”  she turns and looks as I pull her braid from my hair and throw it at her, then say “Of course you don’t know how she felt…she actually loved Bray.”

 The guards take it upon themselves to knock me unconscious before throwing me into the room with the others.  While I’m out I dream fragments of my life.  My childhood with Moz, watching Trudy at school, hearing from a friend that Trudy was pregnant, watching her to make sure her pregnancy goes smooth, the death of my parents.  I dream about those first frightening months with Moz and Ghany, the three of us running from place to place.  Then I dream about waking from the coma in the mall and that first moment I saw Trudy with little Brady, almost telling her I knew her and was happy to see her.  Then keeping quiet as my heart broke.  As I wake up, I dream about Ebony and how much I love her.

 The Mallrats are scattered about this room.  They’ve propped me up against the wall, and silently I survey the scene.  Alice and Ellie are comforting each other in their fear, Jack is with them.  Dal is sitting with Trudy.  Salene and Ryan are together.  Even in captivity Salene is happy to be back with Ryan.  Tai-San is meditating.  KC and Danni are together.  Not surprising as they’re the ones without anyone to comfort them right now.  The room is dark, so nobody has noticed yet that I’m awake.  I say in a defeated tone “This is not what I meant when I said I’d put us all back together.”  Ryan and Trudy both come over to check me over to see how I am.  “What’d they do to you out there Jaymes?”  Ryan asks.  “They put me in a cage.  These Jaikarim and their new friend.”  Nobody is happy about the Ebony situation.  I tell Ryan “Its good to see you buddy.”  He responds “Salene tells me you watched over her and the others and helped her through this.”  I nod and Ryan says “Thank you.”  Trudy says “Jaymes, where’s Brady.”  Hugging her I say “She’s being taken care of.  I’d rather not say where, just in case but she’s being taken care of, and she will be if…” I trail off.

 The second day Ebony comes in to visit us.  “You are all free to go at any time.  All you have to do is give us the mall and tell your rebels to stop.  Leave the city and don’t come back.”  I stand and look at her “We go nowhere Ebony.  We won’t bow to bullying and neither will the other tribes.”  Ebony smiles at me and says “Your dreams getting any better Jaymes?”  Monitors in the room come on.  Jack says “Oh, come on, not again.”  I watch the monitors and I see the images from my dream, Trudy and the rest tied up and killed.  I look at Ebony and say “What have you done to me?”  she says nothing, just leaves.

 Trudy sits with me and says “They like to show the interrogations to try and scare us into submission.”  I ask her if they showed mine.  “Only the first time.  You’re the only person who they haven’t broken.” Then she says “Thank you for defending me.”

 The third day they take me and they lock me in the cage again.  Baval says “Are you ready to break yet and work with us to stop this rebellion?”  “You will not break me.” I say, just as I did the first day.  Baval responds “No, I’m going to let you break on your own.  Your little Patsy took weeks to break.  Leading you into this trap.”  He smiles and says “She and Ebony knew you’d come after your supreme mother.”  “Her name is Trudy…and you will not break me.”  “What did you do to Ebony?”  I ask.  Baval tells me he “Gave her eyes, that she could see the future without you in it.”

 They leave me in the cage and on the fifth day Ebony comes in with two guards.  “Begin the process.” She says.  The lights in the room go dim, monitors with scenes of pain and death come on and the metal floor starts to shock me at regular intervals.  For three hours they do this before stopping.  Ebony sends the guards away.  The electrified floor has caused my muscles to give out, and I lay flat and drooling on it.  Through much pain I ask “Why are you doing this to me Ebony?  Didn’t I love you enough?”  she opens the cage and comes in with me, then she says something that fills my mind with doubts.  As she slaps my face she whispers “I’m sorry Jaymes, this is the only way to save them.”

 They put me back in the room with Trudy and the others and she comes over to me with Amber.  Amber says “I’m sorry I couldn’t protect her Wolf.”  “She’s alive isn’t she?”  then I say “At least Brady’s safe.” Then I pass out.

 When I wake back up, they take me again.  I’m sitting alone in the cage when I hear Baval and Ebony outside the door arguing with each other.  “You told me you could break him Ebony!”  Baval says.  “I told you I thought I could if I had enough time!”  Baval says “Time is something you don’t have.  You’ve been saved because you said you could do this.  If you don’t give us results, you can share their fate.”  Ebony comes in trying to hide tears, and says “Start the machine.”  This time the images are of babies dying, with words on the screen saying ‘you can save her’, then images of a group of people walking.  As the floor shocks me repeatedly I say, with a lot of pain “I’m sorry I hurt you Ebony.”  To end the pain I escape within myself, a memory of a rainy night where I watched Ebony from outside her house before the virus.  Watching as she argued with her parents about something, ran to her room and locked the door and hugged one of her favorite stuffed bears.  Even in pain I mentally laugh at how the Mallrats would laugh if I told them about this.  Ebony crying and hugging a bear.  Out loud I say “You don’t remember, do you Ebony?”  she doesn’t get a chance to answer, because my body gives out.

 This time they keep me in the cage for several days trying to break me.  Then Baval comes in and without a word shows me a video of the Mallrats, heads down in the room they’ve been held, being covered and tied up, something being poured over them and then set on fire.  This is so much like my dream that I can’t take it and just like in the dream I start to scream over and over “My name is Jaymes.”  For an hour I do this.  Then, something in my heart stops the tears.  With a wild look, I stare at Baval and Ebony and say “The pestilence has eaten my soul…but you will…NOT…BREAK…ME!”  Baval loses his cool for the first time since I’ve been here and says “ENOUGH!”  Looking at Ebony he says “You had your chance.  Guards, take them!”

 They take us to the room, and throw us in, Ebony is stripped of her clothing at Baval’s order.  When I look and see my Trudy still alive I say with tears in my eyes and hurt in my heart “Ebony, you said they were dead!”  in the middle of the floor and naked she says “I’m sorry Jaymes, they made me.”  I lay on the floor, eyes blank, not moving and crying for hours.

 For a week they leave us in there.  Ebony is being treated with as much fear and being shunned like I was when I first came to the Mallrats, but she hasn’t stopped crying the whole week.  Trudy is looking over me and I say “I’ll be back honey.”  I go to Ebony, who is huddled alone in a corner and sit with her.  I give her my jacket to tie around her waist, and an old shirt I use as a rag to wear “Its old and dirty Ebony, but at least you’ll have your dignity.”  She looks at me and doesn’t say anything.  I sit with her in her corner warding off angry stares from everyone and numerous strong ‘requests’ from Trudy to leave her where she is.  Finally I say to everyone “She accepted me when you wouldn’t, now I’m doing the same for her.”  Ebony quietly says “Thank you.”  I look at her and say “Ebony, this doesn’t change anything.  I still love Trudy and I’m going to marry her.”  Then I look at everyone glaring at me and say “But, no one should be alone at a time like this.”

 After two more days, there is a commotion in the halls and screams and howls.  Ebony perks up slightly, listening and says “He found them.”  Salene and Ryan heard her too and she asks “What have you done to us this time Ebony!”  she tells us all that Baval threw her in here both for not breaking me and for sending a messenger to Bray and telling him how he could get in.  Then she says “Baval sent a group after him, but they must have failed.  Bray should have the militia with him this time.”  I almost smile.  The militia wouldn’t help us before cause Ebony hadn’t ordered it.  There’s a noise at the door and Lex breaks it down.  “COME ON!” he screams.  We all pour out and start running out the door.  “Ebony, where are my weapons?” I yell.  “Over here.” She says then throws me my belts, vest and pack from a room off to the side.  I put them on and we run out.  I find Bray as he knocks out one of the Jaikarim.  “What’s the situation?”  I ask.  He says “We found some more old Chosen and a few Locos, most of Moz’s people are here from the first attack, and this time the militia came with us.”  The Jaikarim are running.  Ebony sent a messenger.”  Then he says “Get our people out of here.”  I nod then find Trudy and yell to the others “MALLRATS!  This way!”  I have my swords ready clearing the way, and I feel Trudy take those steel rods from my pack and see her jump into the fight.  Seeing her take down three guys I say “Oh yeah!  That’s what I want in a wife!”  she gives me a quick kiss and starts in again.

 As the battle rages and we are making our escape I see Baval and three of his personal guards grab Ebony, and I start running towards her, Alice and Trudy catch me and Alice says “Leave her, its what she deserves.”  I look at her and Trudy and say “No!  She’s a Mallrat just like the rest of us.  I’m not failing this time.”

 I catch Baval and his people just as they reach the top of a hill overlooking the beach.  “Baval!” I scream.  They stop and turn and I say “Give her to me!”  Baval laughs and starts to leave again.  I throw one of my sprites at them and they stop.  “Baval!  I challenge you for her.  To the death!”  Baval accepts my challenge and strips off his cloak, then takes his sword and holds it in a defensive position.  Ebony says “Jaymes!, just leave.”  I look at her and say “Trust me.”

 Baval and I fight for a while back and forth.  “You’ll never win this Jaymes!” he says, then he says “You were our best agent Jaymes.  Your dream Jaymes!  Do you miss your family!”  I look at him with rage “WHAT?”  Baval laughs and says “You mean you don’t remember your wife and her sisters?  You don’t remember your son?  Killing them made you our best agent ever!”  The world goes silent, I hear nothing but my own heart beating, I see nothing but the sword in Baval’s hand.  I fight and I fight and I fight pushing him back.  Finally, I disarm him, and I grab him by the throat.  “Tell them to let her go and I let you live, say anything else and I kill you now.”  I squeeze his throat and, choking he mumbles something “I CAN’T HEAR YOU BAVAL!”  again, harder he speaks “Let…Let her…go.”  When she’s far enough away I say “This is for all my families!”  and I throw him off the cliff and watch as he falls to the rocks below.

Chapter 12—The Walk Home and Families Reunited

 After I tell the remaining three to leave and never let me see them again, Ebony and I catch up with the others quickly.  I catch up to Trudy and Ebony just kind of hangs back.  Before we get to them Ebony said she really did do what she did to try to save all of us.  “One of these days you’ll have to explain how torturing me was going to save us all Ebony.”

 I walk up behind Trudy and I hug her and kiss her neck.  “Hey sweetie, did you miss me?”  She turns and says “Jaymes!  Oh, I’m glad you’re alright.” Then we share a long kiss.  Jack looks at us and says “Um, alright you two.  There’ll be time for that when we get home.”  We start walking again, arm in arm and her head on my shoulder.

 As we walk I say “Now all we have to do is get our baby back and there’s a wedding to plan.”  Salene and Ellie are walking with us and Trudy asks “Where is Brady?”  I tell her I left her and Cloe with Moz.  “You left my baby with Moz!” Trudy half yells.  “I trust her Trudy.  The girls are taken care of .”  then I say “I hope Patsy made it to them.”  Ellie says “I can’t believe you Jaymes.  Leaving your step-daughter with that crowd.”  I don’t say anything.

 When we make it home its night, but Trudy wants to go get Brady now.  “We’re all tired Trudy.  Besides, I’m hurting.  Moz will take care of her.”  I smile and kiss her with a little look in my eye and say “Besides, I think I need a treatment with Tai-San’s ointment.  “Oh really Jaymes?  Where’s it hurt?”  With a devilish grin, I say “Oh, all over babe, all over.”  Trudy says “Alright, if you trust Moz with Brady I guess I will too.”  then we celebrate our homecoming and fall asleep in each other’s arms.

 The next morning I bring Trudy breakfast in bed.  While I’m making it Ebony comes to talk to me.  “Jaymes, all that stuff you said that first time in the cage.  Did you mean it?”  Still making Trudy’s meal I say “I was upset Ebony.”  She says quietly before leaving “But you were right about everything, except one.”  “Oh?” I ask.  “I do know how she felt.”  I take Trudy her meal and she eats it quickly then says “Lets get our girls now.”  So we go.

 We discuss details of the wedding as we walk.  When we get to Moz’s place the girls say “Go on in Jaymes, she’s been expecting you.”  I ask “Did Patsy make it here?”  the guard says “The blonde girl?  Yeah, she’s here.”  Moz meets us at the door.  “How’re my girls, sis?”  Trudy looks shocked and says “Sis?”  “Yeah Trudy, Moz is my sister, I told you I trust her.”  Moz says “The girls are fine.  My people took extra good care of Brady.  I think you’ve brought out the mother in some of us.”  We walk in and Cloe and Patsy run up and hug Trudy, then come over to me.  “Thanks for watching after my girls Moz.  I owe you.”  Moz says “Family gets taken care of.  You don’t owe me.”  Trudy picks Brady up and says “What’s this?”  I look and see little Brady in an outfit just like Moz and her girls wear and I laugh.  “What’ve you done to my little girl sis?”  I ask.  Trudy says “You trying to make a Mosquito out of my baby?”  I walk up and look at Brady, and Moz says “Some of the girls liked having her around and made it for her.”  I say to Trudy “I don’t know honey, I kind of like her like this.”  We talk to Moz for a while and then Trudy wants to get home.  “Thanks again for taking care of them sis.”  I hug her and say “I love you Moz.”  She says “I love you too Jaymes.”  Then as we’re walking out Moz says “Wait, I made her something”  she runs, then comes back, and hands us a little child sized version of the whip she carries.  “Some of the girls liked having her around?” I say.  “Brady made me think of Ghany.”  Trudy thanks her and I kiss her cheek “Thanks sis.”  Then we leave.

 As Trudy, Brady, Patsy, Cloe and I walk back to the mall, Trudy says “First you’re marrying the Supreme Mother, and now Moz is your sister.”  “Oh God!”  Patsy and Cloe laugh.

 When we get back to the mall and walk in with Brady everybody is happy to see her.  Everybody sees the way Brady is dressed and gets a good laugh.  Danni says “Do we have a little Mosquito on our hands here?”  Patsy says “Some of Moz’s girls made it for her.”  I look and say “Its alright Patsy, I think I can trust the family.”  Then “Bray, you and Lex asked if I trusted Moz to watch after the girls.  Well, I trust my big sister for a lot.”  Almost as one the whole group looks at me and says “Sister!”  KC says “Great!  First you’re marrying the Supreme…”  I stop him and look at Trudy half ready to laugh and say “One more person makes that joke and the wedding’s off.”  Everybody laughs hard.  I ruffle Patsy’s hair and say “Don’t you laugh little one, I blame you for this.

I’m inspecting the mall to see that everything is secure and then I find it.  I run back through the mall and scream “Everybody!  Hurry up, come on everybody!  Hurry up.”  Everybody, all the Mallrats, the whole family run to me.  “Come on.”  I take them there and they see it too.  The candle, with the flowers around it, still burning after everything that’s happened.  I look at Cloe, Patsy, Ebony and Ryan and say “Its your candle…you blow it out.”  The four of them surround it and blow out the candle.  I wrap an arm around Salene and one around Trudy and say “Now they’re home.”

 Trudy and I are walking through the mall and Ebony is standing there.  I’m so uncomfortable talking to her now, especially given the history between Trudy and her.  Trudy and Ebony both see my discomfort as I say to Ebony “I’ll be by after while to get my stuff.”  Ebony just shakes her head and walks away.  “Oh, Trudy.  Why is it that love has to hurt sometimes?” I say.  Trudy says “We can’t appreciate the happy times without the hurt that goes with it.”  We go to her room and sit down.  I haven’t spoken for a long time when Trudy says “Where are you Jaymes?”  I tell her I’m dreading this trip to Ebony’s.  “Do you want me to come with you?” she asks tenderly.  “No Trudy, it’d probably just make things worse.”  She sits with me and asks “Are you starting to have doubts?”  I take her hands in mine and say “No honey…I’m having regrets.”

 I get to Ebony’s room, my room, and I find her laying on the bed where some of my only happy moments for this year happened.  Love, long conversations, meals in bed for us both.  I start in packing my stuff.  Clothes, what few trinkets I own.  My weapons.  For a long time Ebony acts like I wasn’t even there.  Then through sobs she says “All of it, the explosion, the attack, the kidnapping…Baval didn’t even want us.  It was all about you.  he was willing to kill all of us just for his favorite agent.”  I look down at the floor and say “Yeah, and as soon as it came down to it, Ebony was ready to sell out the only good and forgiving family she’s ever had to save her own life.”  She starts crying harder and says “It wasn’t like that Jaymes.  It wasn’t.”  I scream at her “I felt sorry for you!  All those pictures of you in the cage.  I remember the stories, I was scared for you!”  she doesn’t say anything for a few moments, then she says “I’m sorry Jaymes.”  As I gather my things and walk out the door I look back at her, a single tear falling down my cheek and say “You don’t remember.”

 I don’t tell anyone, but I go out walking through the streets.  Lost in my own self pity over the situation between Trudy and Ebony and I, hurt over the mental and physical torture.  I walk around for hours and finally slightly after midnight I make my way to Moz’s place.  I’m exhausted from so much moving and the pain of torture that I finally give out.  I just lay on the steps to her place and silent tears start streaming as I remember the pain of the torture.

 When I wake up Moz is already there in the room with me.  “Morning sis.  What am I doing here?”  I say.  She replies “My guards woke me up last night.  They said you came and just laid down on the steps and started crying.  We thought you’d been drinking.”  Then she says “What are you doing to yourself little brother?  Pre-wedding jitters?”  I’m a few minutes in responding.  “I don’t think there’s going to be a wedding Moz.  I can’t keep anyone I ever love with me in life.  Mom & Dad, Ghany, you, Ebony.  I can’t do that to Trudy, I can’t sis.”  Moz says “I’m still here.”  “We’ll lose touch again…we always do.” I reply, then I ask “Can I stay here Moz?”  “Won’t the Mallrats be missing you?” she asks.  I look at her, dejected and sad I say “Does it matter?”  “I’ve never heard you talk like this little brother.  What’d they do to you?”  “The Jaikarim, Moz…they tortured me, and Ebony helped.”  Moz shakes her head and says “You can stay as long as you need.”  As she leaves I say to her “Please don’t tell them I’m here.”  “Alright, little brother.”

 The next several days go by slowly.  Moz has her girls bring food, which I eat silently.  I don’t speak, even though several of the girls try to get me to.  Moz comes to visit everyday telling me about the latest in the Mallrat search for me.  “They’re offering a reward for you Jaymes.  Bray was here yesterday and Patsy and Cloe came today.”  I nod slowly and thank her for not telling them where I was.  “I know you could use the reward.”  “I’m not selling out my baby brother for some useless bunch of trinkets.”  She says.  Then, out of the blue, she says “Mom and Dad would be proud of you.  You stand up for the right things and you’re an honorable man.”  Then she says “You need to go back home Jaymes and take care of Trudy and that little girl.  She loves you.”  I nod again, then Moz says “Jaymes, she was here the day after you went missing.  She couldn’t stop crying.  She said if I saw you to tell you that the wedding needs to be planned.  They’re just waiting for you.  Ebony was here with her, I think they buried the hatchet and were working together.”  I look at her and say “I can’t do it Moz.”

 One day, the walls in Moz’s little building start feeling like they’re closing in on me, so I go to Moz and tell her I’m leaving for a while, but I’ll be back.  While I’m out and about, through a nice bit of trading, I come up with three bottles of the best sorrow drowning spirits this side of the virus, and walk around getting the drowning started.  After 3 hours I’m halfway through the second bottle and working on my fourth sheet to the wind.  I meet an outcast named May on the street and, drunk, I say “You…you know how...how much love hurts?”  then I ramble on, “Well it does.  You love some…someone and you learn all their….secrets…and you…OF COURSE…you tell them….yours,  then she…starts working….with…your…enemy.  So this beau…beautiful girl you…think…you love…SHE TORTURES YOU!  Sweet…sweet Ebony rips….out…your…heart.  Then she…she…she says…it…was…all…to…save…you”  I stumble away and throw the remainder of bottle two against the side of a building.  “HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME EBONY!”  then as I pass out I whisper to myself over and over “didn’t I love you enough?”  When Ryan and Lex find me I’m still saying “You tortured me Ebony.  What did I do to deserve it?  You don’t remember Ebony…you don’t remember.”  So when Lex and Ryan find me passed out on the ground and turn me over I wake up and the drink takes over and I laugh uncontrollably.  “Lex…you’ve gotten taller! HAHAHAHAHA”

 I laugh all the way home, laugh about the way I killed Baval, even after swearing I wouldn’t.  I laugh at an insult spray painted on the side of a building, then I say “MALLRATS! HAHAHAHA…why didn’t you just name yourselves The ‘Garden Gnomes’ or, um, or…HAHAHA.”  When we get in the mall its worse, cause the noise brings everybody out.  I start laughing again “Here’s the Garden Gnomes now, Lex…oh, oops, that’s our little secret, isn’t it Lex?”  I catch sight of Amber and I say “uh-oh Lex, there’s Eagle…SCREECH! HAHAHA.  She doesn’t like it when you drink Lex…says it messes with your abilibbity to flaction as a twibe.  Wait, that doesn’t sound right, does it Lex?”  I stop long enough to catch my breath and hear Patsy and Cloe giggling, then I see Trudy and start again, waving at her.  “HAHAHA…hi Trudy.  HAHAHAHA…First I’m marrying the supreme mother and now Moz is my sister.  HAHAHA!  And the Guardian is my cousin…and…and”  as I fall over, Bob comes up and nudges me with his nose.  I start laughing again hugging Bob and say “Bob…and Bob is the reincarnation of my sweet baby brother.”  As Ebony walks down the stairs I point and say “AND THERE!  THERE’S THE LOVER THAT WOULD’VE KILLED ME.”  My laughter turns to tears as Ebony turns and runs back where she came from.  Everyone tries to help me up, but I fight them off.  “Leave me alone…I JUST WANT TO BE ALONE.”

 When I wake up the next morning, I find that they left me right where I fell by the statue and Brady is sitting beside me.  Still dressed in the little outfit Moz’s girls made for her and holding the little toy whip that my sister made her, and is hitting me with it softly.  “What are you doing here little girl?”  I ask.  “We better get you back to your mommy.”  I pick her up and cradle her then turn to take her back to Trudy and I find the whole tribe sitting on the stairs.  More surprising, I find Moz is sitting with them.  “What are you doing here sis?”  I ask.  “Trudy came and said you needed help.”  I say “Don’t need your help Moz, theirs either.”  I take Brady and hand her to Trudy and say “Here you go baby.  Here’s your mommy.”  Then I make my way past everybody and go to the kitchen to get a drink.  I sit at a table against a wall with my head leaned against it.  Moz and my tribe follow me.  After a long time I say “Everyone, in two days time I’m going to be leaving.”  Bray says “You can’t do that Jaymes.”  I look at him and say “I can do whatever pleases me Bray.”  Bray says “Nope, tribe rules.  We voted you in, now you’re family until we vote you out.”  I look at everyone, Trudy, Ryan, Ebony, Lex, the girls, Tai-San, Danni and the rest and I look back to Bray and I say “Then please, vote me out so I can go.  Sis, please tell them to vote me out.”  Moz comes to me and says “I’m sorry little brother.  I can’t do that for you.” desperately I say “Tai-San?  Danni?  Please, I just want to be alone.”  Then to Salene “Don’t make me stay.” Almost hysterical I say “Ebony, please…help me.  I don’t want to stay.”  Then back to Bray “Please.”  Bray says “Okay, lets take a vote.  Anyone vote to abandon the man that saved us from the Jaikarim?”  nobody.  “Who votes to keep our friend here and help him through whatever’s hurting him?”  Everyone raises their hands.  Trudy holds up little Brady’s arm too.  “Well Jaymes, looks like you’re stuck with us.”  He says.  I look at Trudy and say “I can’t love you the way you need.  Why won’t you let me out.”  She walks up to me, kisses me and says “Why don’t you let Brady and I decide how we need to be loved, husband.”  “I’m not your husband Trudy.”  She says “You are in my mind.  Now, come back home.”  I look at Moz and ask her “Can I still come stay with you sis?”  she looks at me with sad eyes and says “No Jaymes, that’s not what you need.”  Trudy says “Besides, you have a room with me and Brady.”  Defeated, hurt, and crying I say “please…just let me go.”

 I go to the room Trudy and I have shared and I lay down on the bed.  Trudy follows me in carrying Brady.  When I don’t say anything for an extended period of time, Trudy says “What have I done to you Jaymes?”  “You haven’t done anything Trudy.  I’m just realizing I was meant to be alone.”  Alice was listening at the door and says “Didn’t you tell me once that you wanted the chance to have a family and to not be alone anymore?”  “I was wrong Alice.  I don’t deserve to be happy.”  After she leaves, I ask Trudy “Did you go to Moz’s looking for me?”  She says “Yes, Ebony and I.”

 After a few hours of Trudy trying to get me to talk, she leaves then comes back with Ebony.  “Great.” I say.  Trudy says “Hear us out honey.”  She hands me Brady.  I bounce her and she giggles.  “I’m so sorry Jaymes.  I didn’t know what they’d do to you.  They didn’t tell me.” Ebony says.  I look at her.  “You had images of my dream Ebony…MY DREAM!  Do you know what they did?”  she responds “Baval told me it was part of your conditioning in the beginning.  There never was a wife and son Jaymes.  We don’t know why you started dreaming it with Trudy, Brady and the girls.”  Then Ebony says “Twice when I’ve been around you, the last thing you’ve said to me is ‘You don’t remember’  what did you mean?”  “I was so in love with you.”  Ebony says she knows.  When I don’t continue Trudy says “Jaymes, tell her.”  I look at Ebony and say “I mean I loved you before the virus.  I watched you, waiting to ask you out, but you had it in for Trudy.  You had to have Bray.”  Trudy says “Is that what all this has been about Jaymes?  Ebony and I fighting over Bray?”  “I love you both, and I can’t sit by while you two fight over me because of some sense of pride over old battles.”  Ebony says something I never thought I’d hear her say “I’ve given up Jaymes.  I can’t love you like she does, and you can’t love me the way you love her.  You deserve each other.”  I hug her and say “Thank you Ebony.”  Then she says “I never meant for you to get hurt in there.”

 When she leaves I lay deep in my thoughts.  “So, will there be a wedding Jaymes?” Trudy asks.  “Of course honey.” I say.  She says “I was wondering.  You did tell me if one more person made that ‘Now Moz is your sister’ joke the wedding was off, and you made the joke last night.”  I smile and then I say  “My memories of last night are weird honey, who do I owe apologies?”  She tells me everything I said “I looked at Amber and made a screeching sound and flapped my arms?  Oh god, I hope I didn’t hurt her feelings.”  I add “I called the tribe ‘The Garden Gnomes’?”  Then “Brady didn’t see that did she?”  Trudy says “Yeah, but she’ll forgive, won’t you baby?”  I take her and say “I’m sorry you had to see that daughter.”  Trudy smiles at this and kisses me.  “How is it I got so lucky Trudy?” I ask.  “What do you mean?” she responds.  “I finally have a family that loves me and won’t let me get lost in my despair and my pain.”  “Love is always there if you let it in.”  I nod and say to her “Well wife of mine, I’d best go apologize to Eagle.”

 As I walk through the mall to see Amber, they’re all still out.  Ebony with them.  I lift my arms above my head and scream “LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF THE GARDEN GNOMES!  YOUR FAVORITE ‘SCARIEST PERSON OF ALL TIME’ IS BACK!”  Patsy giggles at the joke.  Moz is still here, but doesn’t get the joke.  Everybody else laughs.  I walk up to Amber and I get on my knees.  “Eagle, I insulted you last night.  I never meant to do it and I’m sorry.”  She lifts me up and says “Nothing happened, no apology is necessary.”

 I sit with Moz, then Trudy comes out with Brady in tow and sit with us.  I hold Brady and even Moz plays with her.  Trudy says “Now its time for a wedding.”  Moz says its time for her to go.  “Won’t you stay a while sis?”  “No, I have things to do.”, then she looks around and says “Besides, they’re being nice…it’s weird.”  so I stand as she does and say “Bye sis.  Will I see you at the wedding?”  Moz hugs me and kisses Brady and says “Of course little brother.” Then she says to Brady “Goodbye little niece.”  After Moz leaves, Tai-San says “The old Jaymes has come back to us.  Now the family is reunited.”

Chapter 13—The Wedding

 As I nurse myself through the initial despair and hurt of my experience with the Jaikarim, the preparations for the wedding are coming alone nicely.  I feel like I’m caught up in a whirlwind of activity.  We’ve asked Tai-San to perform the ceremony, Trudy says she asked my sister for a little something special, but won’t tell me what.  I’ve always thought that a wedding was a woman’s thing, that all the guy had to do was show up, this ceremony proves my theory.

 Trudy and I decided to have a ceremony at the spot where I asked her to marry me, overlooking the lake.  I stand here now looking at the lake and the clouds reflecting on its surface when, for the first time in almost two days, I see my wife to be helping Salene and Danni with some ideas and settings.  When she sees me she walks over, and when she gets there I ask her “Where’s my little girl?”  Trudy tells me that Cloe and Patsy have her, they’re out walking.

“So, what do you think Jaymes?” she asks me regarding the setting up for the ceremony.  “Oh, its beautiful Trudy, but it seems like an awful bit of trouble to go to for a few minutes worth of ritual.”

Later in the day when we get back the mall, Trudy is with her bridesmaids.  She’s asked Patsy and Cloe, Salene, and to everyone’s surprise, she asked Ebony.  When I found out I asked her if she was trying to be cruel.  She told me “You were going to leave Jaymes.  Ebony helped keep you here.  I owe her for that.”  As I stand here in the doorway to Trudy and my room, I listen to the girls talk.  I hear Patsy say “Trudy?”  she answers and Patsy says “I’ll hurt you if you ask me to put my bouquet down for any reason this time.”  Ebony says “I’ll help her.”  At first I’m mad, but I hear Trudy, Patsy and Ebony laughing.  I hate inside jokes I’m not on the inside of.  I shout in to see if it’s alright to enter and I get told in a yell to get out, that I can’t see Trudy in her wedding dress.  “Okay fine,” I say joking “I’m going to go to a bar.  You’ll probably find me at Moz’s tomorrow.”  Trudy says “JAYMES!”  I laugh and then I leave.

I find my groomsmen and get them together to grab some outfits for us.  I’ve asked Bray to be my best man and Lex, Ryan and Jack are to be standing with me also.  We try on our suits and make sure we’re all fitted up and the guys ask if I’m up for a night at the bar.  “No guys, I have a little trip I have to take.  Maybe in a day or two.”

I leave Trudy a note telling her I’m leaving for a day or two “I have to make my peace with ghosts of the past before I can move freely into our future.  I love you Trudy.  All my love.”

I walk over to Moz’s place and start to just walk in when I get stopped at the door.  “Come on Ariya, I just want to see Moz.”  “Can’t go in yet, Jaymes.”  She opens the door and shouts “Jaymes is here wanting Moz.”  I hear Moz yell that she’ll be out in a minute.  When she comes out, she asks what’s going on and I say “I’m going to visit Ghany.  I thought maybe you’d like to come with me.”   She says “Sure bro, just hang out here a minute and let me take care of a few things in here.  “Oh, come on Moz, let me come in.”  “No.” she says.  I don’t argue the point.

During our two day trek, my sister and I share stories of our childhood and we laugh and laugh, we share dreams of ours that died with the adults.  Finally though, we come to the hillside where I buried what was left of our baby brother, and we sit by the marker stone.  “Why did we come here Jaymes?”  Moz asks me.  “I had to take care of him…after you left there was nobody there.  I left him alone and they killed him Moz.  I live with that ghost everyday.”  Moz puts her arm around me and says “You don’t have to say goodbye you know.  I miss him too Jaymes, you just have to fill the empty places up with other things.  You can’t keep pouring salt on old wounds.”  “All I’ve ever known was pain, sis.  I don’t know any other way.” I tell her.  She says “You have to learn another way.  Trudy and Brady can teach you.”  I look to the marker and I say “I love you Ghany, but I have to move on now.”  My sister hugs me and says “Lets go home and get you married.”

Two days before the ceremony and cluttered chaos is the rule of the day.  The final touches are being put on the arches and flowers and the little rock circle Trudy and I will stand in.  When Trudy sees Moz and I, she walks over and kisses me “I missed you darling.  Did you get done everything you needed to?” “I did.  I had to say my goodbyes to my little brother.”  I take Brady and hold her.  She isn’t wearing the Mozzie outfit that my sister’s tribe made for her, but she has the little toy whip that Moz made her and she’s waving it around and it’s hitting me in the face.  Moz and Trudy laugh and Trudy says “She’s going to keep you in line for us.”  I say to Brady “You don’t have to hit me sweet daughter.  My mean days are over.”, Then I kiss her perfect little cheek.

I’m still holding Brady when Moz looks at Trudy and says “I have some things to get finished.  I’ll see you guys at the wedding.”  I hold Brady up and say “Say bye to Aunt Moz little one.”  Brady, who is just learning to talk a little says, “ba…maz”  My sister is not one to be taken with mindless sentiment, but you can almost see her heart melt as she says “Bye Baby.”

“I never would of thought of Moz as a soft heart.” Danni says.  I reply “Our childhoods weren’t ideal, and she didn’t cope so great.  But we were always there for each other.  She isn’t as hard as she’d have everyone believe.”  Danni asks what happened and I say “Strange family life.  She’s the strong one cause that’s the kind of home we were raised in.”

The day before the wedding dawns and Trudy and I lay there for a long while.  We lay there until Brady starts to stir, then we go ahead and get up.  “Does it seem kind of quiet this morning Trudy?”  she says that it does seem a little calm.  Trudy picks up Brady and I slip one of the spike rods into my belt while she isn’t watching.  We walk through the mall slowly.  I look in the others’ rooms as I walk and don’t find anyone there.  “There’s something wrong Trudy.”  When we get to the stairs, Alice yells “Its about time you two were waking up.”  We look down the stairs to see a table set up with a huge breakfast feast on it, and everyone is there looking up at us.  I whisper to Trudy “Did you know about this?”  she says she didn’t and I, still whispering say “They must’ve been up all night.  How’d we sleep through it?”

Ebony is dressed as a waitress and, in character asks “Can I show you to your table?”  I play along with this, holding back what would be one of the biggest laughs I’d ever had, and say “Certainly.”  I lean over to her and ask “How did you get roped into this?”  she replies “You don’t want to know.”  When we go to the table, Ebony shows us to our seats and she says “We’ve taken the liberty of laying out your favorite foods, I’ll be back in a moment with your drinks.”  When she leaves, I put my head on the table unsuccessfully trying to hold back my laughter.  I look up at Trudy, who is smiling herself.  I look around and I say “How did you guys get her to do that?”  Tai-San says “It was her idea.  She’s trying to find some way to make amends to you Jaymes, and embarrassing herself in front of you and Trudy she thinks will make you laugh and make you feel some better.”  Ebony returns then and I try to put a straight face back on.  She puts our drinks down in front of us and goes to the other side of the table where she sits directly across from me.  As everyone digs into the feast they prepared apparently specifically for Trudy and I as guests of honor, I look at Ebony and mouth the words Thank you and You didn’t have to.  Ebony smiles.

The tribe eats and talks.  Then when the meal is over, I start to get up and go back to mine and Trudy’s room.  Lex says “Sit down Jaymes, we’re not finished here yet.”  I sit back down.  KC and Patsy run to another room and return a moment later pushing a cart with a number of gifts on it.  Lex says “We decided to get this out of the way today rather than wait.”  Trudy and I sit there silently.  The tribe gathers around us and starts to pass us gifts.  I take Brady and let Trudy open the gifts.  They give us a lot of household items.  Tai-San and Lex include some herbs and incense in their gift, with another set of power stones to both Trudy and I.  KC managed to get his hands on some jewelry for Trudy and he returned the weapons I traded him for Trudy’s ring to me.  Salene made some clothes for Brady and sewed Trudy and I a ‘Happy Home-Jaymes, Trudy, Brady’ thing in a frame.  Alice gives us a gift of food from the farm for our honeymoon, and Ellie gives us a framed copy of tomorrow’s Amulet where our marriage is the front page story.  After everything’s been opened I start to say thanks to everyone then Patsy says “Wait, there’s one more.”  She runs then comes back with a small wrapped gift.  “Its from the entire tribe, to Jaymes.”  Several smiles, including Trudy.  I hand Brady back to Trudy and unwrap the gift.  In a small frame is a little certificate hand signed that reads ‘Presented to Jaymes the Scariest Person Ever by The Garden Gnomes:  Eagle, Lex, Salene, Tai-San, Bray, Danni, Jack, Alice, KC, Ellie, Dal, Patsy, Trudy, Cloe, Ebony, Brady. Then at the bottom, it said ‘WELCOME TO THE FAMILY’.  I look to Amber and I say “I’ve finally found a home Eagle.”  “No, a family, Wolf.  Just like you always wanted.”

The rest of the day, Trudy and I make our final preparations for the wedding.  She and her Bridesmaids spend the day together and I find Lex, Bray and Jack, they force me to go out.  I don’t want to, I’d rather be at the mall, but Lex says “You’d have to sleep by the statue again anyway, can’t sleep with Trudy, can’t see her on the day of the wedding and all.  So we go to the farm.  “Why are we at the farm?”  We walk in and there’s a load of drinks there, and when we walk in, a woman in a Mozzie suit starts dancing and stripping.  I’m staring out in space because I can’t believe it and I say “You guys asked my SISTER to send a stripper?”  Lex says “Who said we asked her to SEND somebody?”  I look at him and say “That’s just friggin’ wrong.” then “Man, I’ve seen my step-daughter in one of those outfits…its just wrong.”

I made sure not to drink as much tonight as I did the other day, and I wake up early and walk outside.  Bray comes out a few minutes later.  “Today’s the day Jaymes.”  I look at the sky and say “Today’s a good day for a wedding my friend.”  Bray says “Martin would like to be here.”  “I’d like to have Martin here today.  He was odd at times, but he was a good friend.” I tell him.  “Well,” Bray says “Guess we’d best get the others and get started.”

The five of us start walking and most of the way we get to hear about how Jack wonders what Ellie will be wearing.  When we get there, I look over everything.  The arch is there with roses and daisies tied to it, and the little stone path ending in a circle that Trudy and I will stand with Tai-San to take our vows.  Alice is looking after Brady while the ceremony is going on.  Bray, Lex, Jack, Ryan and I go into the little tent that they’ve set up for us to change in, when we get our formals on and situated we walk back out.  Moz and several of her people are there, changed from their usual black outfits with silver head pieces, into white outfits with gold head pieces.  I go to Moz and say “You look beautiful.  Thanks for being here with us today sis.”  “Wouldn’t miss it.” She replies.  Tai-San says “Its time to get started.”

The guys and I take our positions.  Myself and Bray inside the circle, and the guys standing just on the outside.  Tai-San makes a hand gesture to one of Moz’s girls standing on top of a little rise.  The girl in turn, makes a gesture to the other side of the rise and then Ebony, Patsy, Cloe, along with Trudy’s maid of honor, Salene appear over the rise.  Ebony in front, Cloe and Patsy walking beside each other next and Salene in the back.  Ebony and Salene are centered to Cloe and Patsy.  All are wearing intricate soft pink dresses.  Once the four of them have walked a dozen or so feet over the rise, Trudy appears.  She’s being carried in, laying on a decorated table sort of thing, on the shoulders of six good sized guys.  I look to Bray and say “My wife knows how to make an entrance, doesn’t she?”  “Sure does.” He says.  I add “Cleopatra could not have been more beautiful.”  Ebony and the others have stopped at the end of the stone path, and when the people carrying Trudy reach the girls they stop and one of the carriers lets go of the platform and helps her down.  Trudy smoothes out her dress and the girls move up, Trudy and Salene in the circle, with Ebony, Patsy and Cloe standing outside.  I whisper to Trudy “You look exquisite wife”.  For the final time, Trudy says to me “I’m not your wife yet.  Her dress is conservative in style, but beautiful on her.

Tai-San begins the ceremony.  “We’ve gathered today to witness our friends take the first step on the journey of marriage.”  “It’s a happy time when two souls longing for a companion find each other and an even happier time when those souls join together to strengthen each other in love.”  Tai-San asks for the rings to be passed forward.  Salene gives Trudy mine and Bray hands me Trudy’s ring with the necklace cord still attached.  Tai-San continues “Trudy and Jaymes have asked to speak as they exchange the rings.  Jaymes?”  I turn to Trudy and take her ring by the cord she tied to it and whisper “sorry babe, its gonna look goofy.”  Then louder I say “Trudy.  Before the virus destroyed our world, I had no idea how the feeling of love is misunderstood by so many people who think they know what it means.  That is, until I met you and I knew what true love was.  Knew that love was waking every morning thinking how you’ll get to see the one you love, watching someone you didn’t have a right to love to make sure they were okay.  Over the last several months though, I realized that I didn’t know what love was.  Love is being with someone who watches over you and cares more for you than for themselves.  Love is being with a person who hurts with you when you’re in pain.  Trudy, Love is you.  With this ring I vow that I will watch over you and Brady, keep you safe, be better for you, forever.”  I slip the ring around her neck over the veil covering her face.  “Sorry honey.”  I say softly.  “I’d rather wear it like this than not at all.” She says, just as soft.

Tai-San then directs Trudy to say her vows.  “Jaymes, as I think back over my life, I can think of none who was more silently caring to me than you were.  Watching over me from afar, sending gifts to brighten my mood on bad days, making sure my Brady was safe in me.  Never taking credit for any of it.  Then, when we found each other again, keeping your distance even though it hurt you, just to keep me from hurting, and most of all for making me see that Trudy and The Supreme Mother aren’t the same person.  I give this ring, this symbol of infinity as my vow that I will be your companion, your lover, I will be there to hurt when you hurt, cry when you cry, and smile when you smile, forever.

Tai-San says “If there are any who know a reason these souls should not be joined, let them say now.”  I look at Ebony and she, with a little devil look in her eyes acts like she’s going to say something.  I almost laugh, but I stop myself.  Tai-San continues “Very well then, here in the presence of friends and family I say for all to hear that these two souls are now one.”  Cheers and applause erupt from all present.

Lex, Ryan and Jack, Ebony, Patsy and Cloe move to form two lines at the end of the stone path, Trudy and I turn and walk down the path and Salene and Bray fall in behind us.

The reception is pretty much routine, although I consider the gathering last night with the Mallrats collected together to be the true reception.

When everyone is gone and it’s just the Mallrats still all gathered under the statue, I look at them all there, take a good look at the mall, and then at Trudy and happy tears start to flow.  I’ll never be alone again.

Epilogue—Look Into The Future

 I lay in bed listening to my sweet wife Trudy as she sleeps.  As I listen, the sound of little feet comes up beside me.  “Daddy?” a perfect little voice says.  “Yes Brady.”  “Will you tell me a story?” she asks me, adding “I can’t sleep.  “Of course baby, but we have to be quiet.  Mommy is trying to sleep.”

 I hold little Brady in my arms and tell her a story, which puts her right to sleep.  I lay her between her mother and myself and turn to watch my special ladies as they sleep, and then I start to think about the past.

 “Have three years really gone by?” I ask myself silently.  So much has changed since that day overlooking the lake.  Missing friends, budding loves, triumphs and pains.  Through it all we Mallrats have managed to stay a family.

 Moz had a falling out with the Mallrats, and not even the fact that I was a member could save us from my sister’s rage.  We lost Danni in that war.  Moz killed her as we watched just because she was there.  I personally raided her headquarters and blew it up without the others knowing.  They never found proof Moz was there or not.  I still don’t know if I killed my sister.

 Lex and Tai-San were married not long after Trudy and I and are expecting their second child soon.  Fatherhood has been good for Lex.  He’s not nearly the outlaw he used to be, and Tai-San wears motherhood wonderfully.  Little Zan is a beautiful child.

 Jack and Ellie found love with one another and are around each other all the time.  If I wasn’t such a romantic at heart, I’d be sick watching how sweet they are together.

 Amber is still with us.  She and I are still close in the bonds we formed during the times of Eagle and Wolf.  Amber’s leadership is strong, and fair.  The city is a better place because of her being a leader in it.

 Salene is a mother.  She and Ryan had a baby a year after Trudy and I were joined.  The shame of it is that Ryan couldn’t be here to be the father he always wanted to be.  Poor Ryan, another loss in the war with Moz.

 Patsy and Cloe are a sore point, especially with Trudy.  They both grew into wonderful, beautiful young women.  Patsy fell in love with a boy and after a fair courtship they announced they were to be married.  Even though they were young, they were very much in love.  On the day of the wedding Patsy received a wedding present with a note to open it immediately.  Inside the box was the head of her husband to be.  Poor Patsy went insane and used some of the ideals that Trudy, as the supreme mother, tried to corrupt her with to form the ‘Infinity Tribe’ whose belief was that Zoot was not a god, but that Zoot was a force within us all, which grew inside you increasing your powers and strength.  In her insanity Patsy believed that each time you killed a person, that their ‘Zoot-force’ entered you and added to your own.  Cloe tried to go reason with her, since their friendship was so powerful, three days later Trudy received a box with most of Cloe in it and a note, apparently written in Cloe’s blood that read: ‘Supreme Mother, Cloe no longer stands in the way of the will of Zoot.  Signed Patsy.’  Patsy was so fanatic and violent in her psychosis that even the Guardian joined his forces with us to destroy her.  Even going so far as to sacrifice his own life to kill her.  We buried Patsy and Cloe both beside Bob, whom in more innocent days, they’d both loved so much.  My wife has never quite stopped hurting over Patsy’s death.

 Ebony moved on with her life a changed woman.  So much so that she was able to get Bray to see that her love for him was genuine and they were married almost a year ago now.  Ebony still gives in to temptation every now and again though.  Their time together hasn’t been entirely happy though.  Their firstborn died from complications with the birth.   Ebony hurt for a long time over that, believing that her sins in the past had caused the death of her baby.  Trudy was understanding as I did what I could to help Ebony through her pain.  During this time, not only did Ebony accept that her past didn’t cause the death of her baby, but I came to make my peace with her over the torture I received from the Jaikarim.

 As for KC, Dal and Alice, KC still scams his way through life.  He has a few more scars from deals gone bad, Dal finally because bored with city living and moved out to the farm.  Alice moved there as well to get away from the mall.

 There have some additions to our family.  May, the outcast I screamed at while I was drunk that one night.  She had fun with me for months over that.  We also have the honor of hosting some idiot named Ned and his little brother and sister.

 Then finally there’s myself and my beautiful Trudy.  We love each other as much as we ever did.  Our twins, Son Ghany and Daughter Lianla will be turning one year old soon, so between those two miracles and little Brady who’s now into everything, Trudy and I have our hands full.  We still love each other, but its not all been roses.  After the war with my sister, I was thrown into a depression.  I was drunk all the time and one night, I wound up in bed with Salene.  I don't remember it, but Salene swears nothing happened, all we did was talk, but it didn’t matter to Trudy.  I slept many nights under the statue for that one.  But at least Brady would sneak out to keep me company sometimes.  I don’t think Trudy liked that, but she wouldn’t say anything to Brady for visiting her daddy.  When everyone, especially Lex helped get me off drinking, Trudy and I were stronger for it.

 “AAH!” comes a scream that rips me from my thoughts.  I turn over in the bed where Brady screamed, Trudy is awake too and says, “What is it baby?  Why are you here?”  Brady says “I couldn’t sleep mommy, and daddy told me a story.”  Trudy says “He did?  Well, why didn’t you wake me up?”  Brady replies “We wanted to let you sleep mommy.”  Trudy kisses her and asks why she was screaming.  “I had a bad dream mommy.”  I lean over and steal a kiss from my wife and then I hug my daughter and say “Bad dreams are only in our head baby.  They only have the power we let them have.”  Trudy smiles at me and we lay with our foreheads touching, and each of us holding Brady.  Before I fall asleep again I hear “I love you daddy.”  “I love you too Brady.

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