Days Gone By
Written By: Wolvespire
Chapter 6: Blessings of the Earth
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While I was asleep, I dreamed about Ticia, and I dreamed about Gattaca, and I dreamed about Ebony. All of them in my life that are gone from me now. I also dreamed of HER, but her face is starting to slip away from me. Her beauty no longer shining in my eyes like it once did. Why didn’t Zoot keep her?
I awoke in a little shack. Not a palace by any means, but definitely a place one could survive. It has everything anyone needs to make a decent life for themselves. I stand up after a couple of times of trying. I’m very sore from the beating I received, but I’m used to pain these days, both physical and mental.
I throw the door to the shack open and what I see isn’t what I expected. The sun is bright, and there are at least a couple of dozen people here. All quietly going about their work at hand. I squint from the sudden light in eyes that are hung over and used to darkness.
I walk down the steps as I realize that this shack I was in was actually in a tree, and is the only one here. I find this very interesting. The leader here must be very evil to take a hut while leaving his people to sleep among the trees.
At the bottom of the steps, I’m stopped by a large boy. “You’re awake then?” The boy asks. Then says “Eagle will be pleased, she’s been anxious to talk to you.” Then he leads me to the fire in the center of the camp and hands me a plate. “Eat friend. You must be hungry.” Adding “I am called Puma, it was Eagle, Oak and I who saved you.”
I nod as I accept the plate, but say nothing to the expecting look that ‘Puma’ is giving me. I simply shovel down the plate full of food quickly and without any fancy fork work. “May I have more?” I ask, managing to be civil in the way that Ticia’s farm girl friend always demanded. Puma says I can, and hands me another plate. I thank him, and still say little else. Puma stares at me and suddenly just angrily walks off. I look after him and I mutter to myself “Hippy moron.”
“You should show a little more appreciation stranger!” A girl’s voice says from behind me. You’ve had two plates of food. That means Puma won’t eat for three days unless he hunts it…and he’s not skilled at hunting or fishing yet.” I turn to see a blonde girl staring hard at me.
“You mean…” I start, before she says “He gave up two days rations to you, and you wouldn’t even give your name. The thanks of a stranger mean nothing.” I put my plate on a log and start to walk away and the girl says “Pick that up! We have a place for them, and we’re not your slaves!” Then she says “You have to start pulling weight around here and contribute.” All I can manage in my sudden fear is “I…I’m so sorry ma’am. I don’t…know your ways.”
The girl shows me where the dishes are to be placed, and says “You’ll know our ways soon enough. I am Eagle, leader of this tribe, and I will teach you all you need to know.” Then she utters words that would set me on a path of being bound to her forever. “You owe a debt for being saved. Few outsiders ever see this place.” For the first time ever, I felt like I was being accepted. Not even when I was with the Locos did I feel like I had a duty to someone. This girl had single handedly changed my entire view of my place in this new world.
“I can never repay the debt I owe.” I say. Then I ask after Puma and Eagle points and says “There.” Then “We’ll have to work on your perception skills. We have a lot of work to do before you get a name.”
I walk up to Puma, and I say to him “I am Jaymes. I have no tribe. I thank you for your food. I will help you hunt if you’ll allow it.” Eagle hears this and asks if I know how. “No,” I tell her, “But I owe my best effort in payment for the kindness given me.” Eagle smiles at this, but says nothing.
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Many weeks go by as I learn the ways of the tribe. The Gaians, they tell me. They teach me hunting, they teach me fishing, which I take to quite naturally. They teach me concealment, how to be quiet in the woods. I learn their signals; I learn tracking and perception skills that will keep me alive. Eagle teaches me water purification and how one hides signs of having been in an area. All the time I’m doing this, I’m also learning what Ticia tried to teach me. That a soul need not be hard to be a warrior.
Several nights before the naming ceremony for me, Eagle and I sat alone, miles away from the camp talking. “Will you give up your other life after the naming Jaymes?” She asked me.
“No Eagle, I don’t think I can. There are too many things for me out there. Is it permitted for me to keep my other name, and my other life after I’m named?” I ask her. Afraid that she’ll make me forget the city if I take the name her tribe will give me.
“Of course it is Jaymes. You can’t forget the life that you’ve lived. I myself had a city life before this, and another name. I will tell it to you if you wish to hear it.” She says, smiling at me warmly in the way a teacher smiles at a pupil who’s doing well.
“Yes Eagle, if you trust me with this, I would hear the name you were known by in other times. It would give me joy if you, as my tribe mistress would trust me with your secret.” I say to her. The first time I’d ever called her my Tribe Mistress.
“Don’t call me that, it sounds stupid.” She said. “Now, as to my other name, I was once known as Amber of The Mallrats before I was Eagle of the Gaians.” When I ask her why she left, her eyes grow somber. “I didn’t leave.” She says, and then grows even sadder. “They abandoned me. They left me on a mountain to die. The man I loved, and all my friends I thought loved me.”
“Oh Eagle, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to bring up bad memories for you.” I say to her. She assures me its okay, that she’s alright with it and she asks about my life before now. I tell her everything except when I was with the Locos, hoping she’d never heard. If she did know, she didn’t say anything.
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A couple of days after the night of talking with Eagle, in the middle of the night, I, along with several others, were awaked by a sound in the leaves. A Gaian tribe offshoot from another part of the woods coming through, but they’re running! I jump to my feet, and in the confusion, I find out that it’s a group of locos come for a raid. Several of the men are standing back trying to figure out where to do the most good, but I, in pants, but wearing no shirt, and my long hair in front of my face, grab my weapons and run head long into the attacking locos. I have my sword out and I howl at the Locos I run into and I stab them repeatedly.
I howl again, and I stab my sword up to the handle through the top of another Loco’s head, then I look around for the next group, and see three attacking Eagle. “NO!!!” I scream, and I run at them as I see a knife flash in the moonlight heading for Amber’s heart. I jump in between them and take the stab in my stomach. I yell in pain, but I stand up again and once more I scream like a demon in the dark and I stab my sword into the person who tried to kill Eagle and cut from his neck all the way down his body. His insides fall to the ground around me, covering me in his blood. The two remaining Locos stand paralyzed with fear in the darkness. “Tell your leader that everyone she sends will end up exactly the same way, I yell.” Then as they keep staring, I say “Now run before I change my mind and only let one of you go!” It was only after it was all over that I discovered I was losing blood quickly, and I became aware of something else.
A child, screaming in the night, scared to death at what she’d seen. When a couple of the girls patched me up, I asked after the child, and she was brought to me. “Hi.” I said to her. Smiling warmly, and holding my hand out to her. She’s holding an old stuffed cat in her little arms. “I’m sorry you had to see that. No child should have to see such things anymore.” Then I ask “Were you hurt child?” She cautiously shakes her head no. “I’m glad.” I tell her. She doesn’t say anything else.
She does stay around and Eagle sits and tells me that this little girl has been through an Eco raid before. That she was hurt terribly. Not physically, but mentally. She’s afraid of animals now because one horrible person ripped her little pet to pieces in front of her. I hold my gaze to her, but a single tear falls down my face as I know who that horrible person is. The child climbed up on my lap and sat there, and Eagle said “Wow, she must really like you. She’s never taken to anyone since we found her. You’re lucky.” I smile, and then I talk to the little girl.
“It’s a hard thing in life, having to deal with the evil of others child. I know.” Then I ask her the question that I regretted for years afterwards. “What is your name little one?” She smiles up at me like she did that day, and she waves again, just like that day and says “My name…Tree.”
Horrified, I put her on the ground and ignoring the intense pain all through my chest, I push myself away from her and I finally get to my feet and I run away, followed closely by Eagle.
When she finally finds me, Eagle asks “What was that about Jaymes?” I just stare at her for so long, before finally saying “The thing, the evil inhuman thing, that tore that little girl apart…he did it for the stupidest of reasons. Because when he killed everyone, he was high on the adrenaline of killing, and she was smiling up at him and she said her name.” Then I hang my head and I turn away from Eagle.
Finally understanding me, she says “Oh Jaymes…it was you?” I look up in pain and shake my head. “Don’t….tell them. PLEASE!” I beg her. “You know I’m not like that now, I’m more gentle now. This is my home Eagle. Don’t abandon me. Please.” I say, still begging.
Eagle kisses my forehead and says “Okay Jaymes. Now, just to seal the difference, lets go back…I think its time for the naming.”
I follow her back to the camp slowly, trying to dry my tears and tear the pain from my heart.
Chapter 7: Into the Shadows
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On returning to the Gaian camp, I am told to go to the guest hut and wait there. I am not to leave, and not to look outside until called for. So, I go into the hut and I wait, wondering what my fate will be here. Its not a nervous fear, just anticipation of what these people will do to make me finally accepted as one of them. This has apparently not been done many times before, so I wait and see.
After several hours, Puma comes to the hut. “It’s time.” Is the only thing he says, and he takes me by the shoulder after I’m out of the hut. I try to shake his hand off me, but he says “It’s part of the ceremony, so stop.” Then he leads me to a part of the woods outside camp, and as we approach, I see a massive fire ring and what looks like the whole tribe surrounding it, and torches on each side of the path marking an entrance of sorts.
Eagle looks up in the semi-darkness as we stop just on the outside of the torches and she begins a ritual wording. “We come tonight to honor a stranger with no name by giving him the name that mother earth deems his.” She lets those words sink in, and then she says “Who brings this stranger to our fire that he may share in its light and protection?”
Puma takes his hand from my shoulder and steps in between the two torches and he says “I, Puma, brother of the Gaian Tribe, and keeper of mother earth bring this man with no name before you, that we can endow him with his name and his responsibility to us.” When he says this, I look around at all the very formal looks on all the faces and it sinks in just how serious this is, and I allow myself to see how truly beautiful this moment is.
Eagle, taking control of the ceremony again says “Bring forth the stranger from the city that he may receive his name if he wishes it so.” And at this, Puma leads me into the circle, next to the fire, and Eagle starts again. “Very well. You have learned our ways stranger, you have taken of our food, and you have seen us in our most private of ceremonies. Will you take up our ways for your own and receive the name that all Gaians will know you by?” They all look at me.
“All men deserve the chance to make their life from what it is, into what they’d like it to be. If it pleases the council, I will take my name, and I will carry your ways in my heart.” I say to them, and I sink back a step from the fire in anticipation of what will happen next.
Eagle speaks once again. “Brothers and Sisters! We will now take suggestions for names, and why the name fits this stranger.” Then Eagle sits down at the head of the fire, awaiting the next part of the ceremony, which is not for me, or her, but is for the members of the tribe to voice their opinion.
In the back, a girl stands up and she says “I, Crane of Gaian tribe submit that the stranger should be called River. He has proven himself to be steady and strong. This name fits him well.” Then she sits and lets the other members whisper their thoughts about this.
After several more members stand and suggest names like Cougar, and Bobcat, and Lion and Tiger. Finally though, Puma stands and says “I suggest the name Wolf. The stranger has proven himself to be a good and silent hunter. He has also proven, when the city tribe came, that he will be violent in his protection of the pack. This is a fitting name for him.”
Finally, through almost an hour of discussion, the choice is between the name River, and the name Wolf. The tribe is completely even on those names. It comes down to a decision from Eagle. She says “Our brother Puma is correct. In naming our members, we must think of the personal characteristics of the person. And the stranger has proven he is loyal, but violent when he needs to be. So, I, as the leader of this tribe, choose that forever, Jaymes of the city is gone, and in his place, from this day forward, Wolf of the Gaian Tribe is all that remains. There is silent acceptance among the members of the tribe at this, and after a small celebration to close the ceremony, we all return back to camp.
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The ceremony changed my way of thinking, and after a few weeks, I decided that I needed to go make amends to some of those I hurt. Sadly the only one of those I hurt that I readily know about is my sister, the hardest person to say I’m sorry to. I tell Eagle this.
“Eagle, I think I need to go to the city. I need to see my sister…tell her I’m sorry for a lot of things. And I’d like to see my brother. I haven’t been good to them. I want to be there for a while.” I tell her, half asking her permission to go.
“Are you sure about this Wolf?” Eagle asks. “There’s no guarantee that you’ll be welcomed back. Can you take that if you aren’t?” Eagle’s face shows such a concern for my feelings, that I am awed at it. How can she be so calm and loving to someone she doesn’t know all that well?
“I have to do it Eagle. I need to at least try. I owe it to my parents to at least try and make things right with my sister.” I tell her, bring out a sense of duty in myself that she has helped to install there.
“Okay. When will you leave Wolf?” Eagle asks me. I tell her I think I’ll leave as soon as the tribe doesn’t need me for a while. “Wolf, there’s always a need. If you wait for that, you’ll never go, so leave now. Go see your brother.” I nod my agreement and I go to get my bed pad.
“You’re not taking anything else with you Wolf?” Puma asks me. “No weapons or anything?” This shocks him amazingly that I plan to go unarmed. But I think its best. Besides, with my Gaian clothes, I’m hardly recognizable.
“I don’t need them.” I say, causing several of the tribe I’m close with to smile a little. Eagle told me once that it meant they could see I was shedding my city image, and becoming one with nature. I shake Puma’s hand and I hug Eagle and tell them I’ll be back with I’m finished finding and talking to my sister, and I know that she’s forgiven me for what I did to her, the trouble I’ve caused and all that. I look around the camp and I feel sadness at leaving. This is home.
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So I make the trip back to the city. Not a happy trip, seeing as I don’t really want to go, but I have to out of duty to my family, duty to myself. Honor drives me now which drives me to do this.
I go back home, but mom and dad’s house is empty. So as I go back the way I came, I stop by HER house. I walk into it, and I see old family photos, old closes, furniture is all gone, but I make my way through the house and eventually come to the room that has to belong to her. There are yearbooks, and other things…and diaries too. Curiosity gets the better of me and I flip through the last few months that the virus was taking the adults, and I read her words.
‘Martin is getting worse, everyone is noticing it now. He’s acting crazy. Yesterday he was muttering something to himself in class. The teacher had to quiet him.
Nobody is around anymore. 30 kids yesterday were taking to the centers, and that boy….oh, what is his name…Martin’s friend, he got taken to a completely different city. At least that’s what I heard. Oh well…whatever happens is fine.
Martin said a strange word yesterday. ‘ZOOT’. I wonder what it means.’
I read that and I quickly put the diary away. I don’t want to read her words anymore. There’s too much pain in them. Besides, I have to go and find Moz. Where would she be? Hmm…time to go.
I go to some kids in the city, and I describe the outfits Moz and her girls wear, and asking this causes fear in people, but I find out where they have their headquarters, and I head out in that direction. I pay with a few trinkets for the information the kids gave me, and I give them some food because they look to be starving.
I go to the building Moz is supposed to be in and I yell inside, finding it empty. I stand outside, letting the sun shine down on me and I wait for my sister to come home.
When she makes it back, I see her make a motion to approach cautiously. She stops about 25 paces away and yells to me about what I think I’m doing here, and not to try anything stupid. I stay silent a moment, taking stock of this group. I don’t see my brother.
“I’m here to see you Moz.” I say. I note that she clearly doesn’t recognize me in my new outfits and my face paint. I don’t want to shock her too much. She’ll be mad at me for our last meeting.
“Who’re you? And what are you doing standing here like this is your building?” Moz asks, still being pragmatic in her treatment of me. I still don’t see my brother among these girls.
“It’s me Moz…Your brother.” I say, holding my hands out to show I carry no weapon. “I’m here to apologize…and see our brother, if you’ll let me.” Then, for good measure, I add “I carry no weapons this time. You can search me.” I think how sad it is that my voice has to take on a formal tone with Madison.
She motions to two of her girls to search me, and she has three more girls take up positions close to me. I have to tell her “Moz, I won’t hurt your girls this time. You only need one girl. Her answer is “Right….your reputation is growing fast little brother. I’m not having my girls go around you without backup.” I nod my understanding to her. I guess it’s what I’d do if I were responsible for the lives of others…especially a child’s.
When she finds out for certain I’m unarmed, she takes my arm and leads her to her room, so she can talk to me in private. I smile warmly to her. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen her, and the last time I was colored by anger. “I love you Moz.”, Are the first words I speak to her.
She says nothing just looks at me, so I continue talking to her. “Moz, where’s Ghany? I’d like to see him if that’d be okay with you.” She is watching me carefully, and slowly says no, but tenses up, looking like she’s ready for violence. She betrays surprise when I say “Okay Moz. I understand…maybe later.” I say it calmly and with an even voice. No hint of anger. Moz stay’s totally quiet.
“Moz, I’m sorry for the way he got his name. I shouldn’t have acted like that, and I shouldn’t have killed your girls.” I reach into my pack and I say “I know it’s not much, but I have some food, and some trinkets here. Maybe it’ll make it easier on you.” Then I say “If you’ll have me, I’ll stay a while and pitch in around here.”
Moz looks at me with disbelief, and says “The city serial killer wants to stay here and help out? What is your body count? And how do we know you won’t kill us in our sleep?”
I nod again, understanding why she’s asking these things. “My body count is more than it should be, and you don’t know that I won’t kill you in your sleep. You just need to trust your family, and know I won’t hurt you or Ghany…or any of the girls.”
Just then, like it had been scripted, a couple of the girls come in and yell about me killing their friends, and jump and start to beat me. I do nothing to stop them, simply sit there and allow it to happen. When a shocked Moz sees that I have no intention of fighting back, she yells for the girls to stop, and sends them away. When she’s regained her calm, she says “Why didn’t you fight back? We know you’ve killed people in this city for less than what just happened.”
My answer was “I killed their friends…I had it coming to me.” She looks on in awe, and I think that, despite herself, she starts to feel that old family loyalty come back, and she sits on the bed beside me like she used to late at night after dad would hit me again.
“Baby brother…what…what’s wrong?” She asks, approaching the subject tenderly and slowly, almost seeming afraid to, but nevertheless her voice betrays that she is concerned.
I smile at Moz, remembering why I wouldn’t trade her for any other sister in the world, but my face takes on a serious expression again as I say “I’m growing up Maddy. I’m finally realizing that my temper tantrums, and my ranting at God, and all that mindless violence aren’t going to get me anywhere. I finally understand that you get what you give in this world.”
She laughs at me when I say this. “You had the right idea before Jaymes. Your problem was that you didn’t have the help you needed to carry your vision out full. Rule through fear…that’s the only way there is.” She ends the statement with a hand motion and one of the girls comes in carrying a bundle, hands it to Moz, then shows herself back out of the room.
She smiles and rubs the bundle, then says “Hey little man, would you like to meet our brother?” She holds him out to me and I carefully take my brother from her arms.
“Oh Moz…he’s beautiful.” I look down at him sadly then and I say “I wish I had taken the time to notice that before.” Adding after a heavy sigh “I’ve been such a fool.”
My sister rubs just rubs my arm and says “Well, you can make up for it now. Weren’t you staying for a while?” I nod to her as Ghany falls peacefully to sleep in my arms.
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A few days go by and there is complete bliss here, with my remaining family gathered around me and laughing and happy like we haven’t been in a very long time. If only momma and papa could be here.
I must to Moz about how funny it was that so few people knew I had a sister. This causes her to burst out into a roaring laugh right along with me and I note with mixed emotions that she laughs like papa used to.
“Well little brother, Martin and his brother…Bray, wasn’t it? They had to know about me.” She says, sticking her tongue out at me and still laughing.
I stick my tongue back out at her and I say “Oh, I think lots of people knew I had a sister, just not many knew it was you.” I shake my head back and forth. “You were always in trouble and getting sent off, and besides, you used mom’s maiden name in school, so its not surprising that not many people made the connection.” Then I add: “Even so, the people that didn’t make fun of me at school, made fun of you. You don’t think I was going to make it worse on myself do you?”
Moz threw a pillow at me and said “Still, you’d think your best friend and his brother would have known.” The noise causes little Ghany to stir in his sleep, but he goes right back into happy slumber like nothing happened. I smile at Moz.
“Bray?” I ask. “I liked him well enough, but I think all that grease did something to his brain. He was too dumb to notice that Trudy was screwing Martin just to make him jealous, so do you think he’s going to notice I had a sister?”
Moz looks at me funny and says “She never did Martin. She just let that rumor go around so she could make Bray jealous.” I sigh at this and nod my head.
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Another day goes by and I catch a few of the girls whispering to each other “Its been nearly a week, and she won’t order a raid because of him. I’M BORED!” and others talking about wishing I’d leave.
I asked Moz about it when I saw her again and she told me they meant a raid on a food stockpile they’d found, and as for wanting me gone…well, some of the girls don’t like a guy hanging around that the have to look after. It cramps their style. Ariya in particular, because the others are making fun of a crush she has on me.
It didn’t take long for Moz’s lie to come out, as a tribe comes along yelling about stolen food. Its clear that Moz’s ‘stockpile’ wasn’t abandoned after all. She leaves me watching Ghany while she runs out to ‘take care of this.’ While I’m sitting there holding Ghany, looking into those innocent eyes, I think about Tree, and how it isn’t right for a child to live through things like this. So without a second thought, with sounds of a battle erupting outside, I gather my brother and some of his toys and I slip out the back door and head for the woods…to the safety of home.
Chapter 8: The Sacrificial Lamb
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And so, here I was, a teenage boy, all but alone in the world, and suddenly faced with the concept of raising a baby boy by myself. I had no idea at the time what I was in for, but now, as I think back on it, I’d rather have faced every fear I had in me rather than face what happened.
It took a little longer to return to Gaian territory, because carrying my baby brother makes travel more difficult. I left Moz in the early evening, and walked for a few hours, until I looked down at Ghany and saw he was yawning with his pudgy little face and softly hitting my chest. “Alright little man, we’ll stop here for the evening. We’ll rest up and get started early tomorrow, huh?” I say to him. Knowing that little ears hear my words, but what does a young mind comprehend?
I notice he needs a diaper change…diapers I don’t have, so I dig through my things and I find an old shirt that I tear up and fasten to his bottom. He smiles up at me, and I tickle his tummy, and kiss his forehead. “All better now.” I say, and prop myself against a tree with Ghany in my arms.
As I sit there, with him calmly laying there taking in all his little eyes can see, I start talking to him. “I hope I made the right decision. I’ve lived the kind of life that Moz was trying to get you to, and I didn’t like it. Its no place for a baby like you.” I feel his tiny hand tug at my shirt and look down to see him smiling up at me, then I continue you. “Oh Ghany. I have done so many bad things. I remind myself of our father. Its probably best you didn’t know him. He wasn’t much of a man. But I hope I can provide for you like he provided me and our sister. God I hope I’m doing right by you. I have a lot to make up for.” After a little while longer, Ghany falls asleep with his little head against my chest, and I move around so I can cover him with my jacket.
The next morning, I awake to Ghany’s cries. I know he must be hungry, because I too am hungry. I don’t have anything for him really, but I carry him to the nearby creek and get some water, and after boiling it and cooling it back down, I pour it ever so carefully in his mouth. “Its not much, but we’ll be home soon and you’ll get a proper meal. Your big brother has a lot to learn about caring for a child.” And for the first time, I think to myself how I would like a child of my own one day. After gathering up the little bag I carry, I set off towards home, and we walk all day. Ghany laughs and smiles at me, and he plays with strands of my long hair. Many times during the day, I stop to hold him up in the air and kiss his little forehead and smile at him. His constant giggles warming my heart.
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I returned to Gaian territory just before nightfall, and surprised everyone by coming in carrying a baby. Eagle wasn’t the first to notice, but she was the first to say anything. “Were you gone THAT long Wolf?” She asks as she giggles a bit, and takes a good look at my brother.
“No Eagle. I’d like you to meet my brother, Ghany.” Then I say “Ghany, I’d like you to meet the girl who gave me a second chance. This is Eagle.” I look at him, then I look at Eagle with a look of contentment on my face.
Eagle looks at one of the girls walking by her and says “Sitka, can you take Ghany? I need to talk to Wolf for a while.” The girl, Sitka, named after a type of tree I’d never heard of before, says yes and carefully lifts my brother from my arms, and Eagle leads me to her hut.
When we arrive and she sits on a cushion, and I in front of her, she says “How did Ghany come to be with us here Wolf? Did your sister just let you have him?” I could tell she was thinking of the impact a baby would have on the group, as only two other babies have been born here, and only one survived.
“No Eagle, she didn’t exactly give him to me. I made a decision.” I told her, not really going into details, but she presses me for just that, and I continue. “When I went to visit her, we talked, and I heard some of the girls talking about a raid on a stockpile. Well, a day or so later, a tribe came in to get back what my sis and her girls had been stealing from them. It was a big battle I guess, and I was left watching Ghany. I just couldn’t let him live in such dangerous circumstances, so I took him.”
“Wolf, you’re smarter than that. You know that no circumstance in this world is without danger…or have you forgotten that the Locos have raided us before?” Amber says. A direct reminder of my time as a servant of Zoot, and the evil I wrought.
“No Amber, I remember very well what the Locos have done to us, and you know I do. I just think that this is safer than having Ghany in the middle of a war between tribes. Stealing food, then stealing it back…its vengeful. Revenge is for children, something for the weak and immature. We don’t have the option of being children anymore. We’re the grown ups now.” I reply, getting a twitch of sadness as I look out and see Tree sitting with Sitka looking at my brother.
“You’re right. People bent on revenge have no place in the world today, but they’re still there, and we’re not safe from them anywhere.” Eagle says to me, and I ask her. “If we’re not safe from vengeance, or from anger anywhere, then why did you run here instead of returning to your tribe after they abandoned you? Let them know what they did?”
“The man I loved didn’t want me anymore, so damn him! Damn them all!” Eagle snaps. “I won’t go begging for a place with people I thought were my friends. If they loved me, they’d have taken me home with them.” Sadness very deep in her voice. I leave it at that.
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Several weeks go by, and the food stores that we have are running low, and hunting and fishing have been bare, so plans are made for a great hunt. All the men leave before first light one day and we start looking for food to feed us all. I am with Puma, and the others all break into two man teams for the hunt. Eagle is with a new recruit who has no name yet.
I kissed my brother before I left and I told him “You watch after Sitka for me little man.” Sitka smiles at me and hugs my brother close to her. “Goodbye baby brother. I’ll see you soon.”
After a half hour in the hunt, Puma lifts his head up and says “Do you hear that Wolf? Sounds like screams.” I lift my head up and I tell him that I don’t hear anything, then I lay back low to the ground, and fix myself for a kill on a deer that has just come into view.
Puma and I manage to get three deer and a dozen squirrels by the end of our hunt, and we clean them and make a drag line to carry it all home. We meet up with Eagle and the rest a mile from camp, then we all walk home.
“I can’t wait to see Ghany.” I say. “I didn’t think I could miss someone as much as I miss him when I have to be away.” Eagle smiles at me and she says “Well, not too much longer and you can play with him all you want. He smiles so big when you’re holding him, have you noticed. He doesn’t do that for anyone else.” I shake my head. I hadn’t noticed.
And then the world stops. The camp comes into our sight and Eagle gasps. I drop my part of the line Puma and I are dragging, and I run into camp, along with Eagle’s new recruit, and Oak, Leaf, and Moss are right behind me…they’re screaming for anyone alive, as the smoke from the fire that was once our camp burns all our eyes. “GHANY!!!!” I scream, like he could yell back anyway. “SITKA!!!” pure terror in my voice. I spin around as a hand touches my shoulder, and Eagle’s tear filled eyes meet mine.
She leads me over to the fire ring, and I look around, and I notice two burnt bodies…one wearing Sitka’s clothes…and the other wearing his. Ghany…my baby brother…I left him...they…they killed him. Its my fault. I shouldn’t have left him. I fall to the ground in tears, and I scream for everyone to get away from me when they try to comfort me.
Chapter 9: The Fight
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My baby brother…gone, and all because I stole him from my sister to remove him from danger. I didn’t defend him though, I left him to die. I let him down.
Eagle was with me right from the beginning of it all. She picked me up from the dirt as I was laying face down in the dirt and my tears and she took me to her hut. “Shh…I’ll take care of you. I’ll make it go away.” I heard her say. She was holding me as I wailed into her shoulder. I think that for someone who never cried as a child, not even when I was a baby from what I’ve been told, that I am crying a lot now. Maybe too many years of holding it all in made me do it now.
Days later when I finally ventured from the hut, I had a single purpose in mind, and told Eagle I was leaving for a while. “Have to tell your sister what happened?” She asked me, to which I replied “Yeah…that’s it…need to tell Moz.”
As I’m leaving, Eagle says “Be careful Wolf. The Chosen are out there in force.” When I ask who the chosen are, she says “The people who attacked us. Terra and Flow survived, and they told me that the attackers called themselves Chosen. They’re being led by someone called ‘The Supreme Mother’, or something like that.”
“Maybe I’ll pay ‘em a little visit.” I say angrily, and Eagle reminds me of my comments to her on people that want revenge, and tells me not to do anything stupid.
So I left to make my way to the city. I lied to Eagle about why I was going though. I have no intention of seeing Moz, I’m going to get a drink. I need one really bad. So much has happened, and a good drink would help it all go away.
When I finally get to the city, the Chosen are indeed in control of it. It looks like a ghost town in the streets, nobody out except for blue robed people carrying weapons and patrolling the streets. I think how I could have saved Ghany if I’d had some weapons. Since I’ve been a Gaian, I haven’t carried a weapon on me. I’ve gone soft, and someone I loved paid for that weakness. I look and see I can’t make it to a bar, so I duck into the nearest building…an old police station.
I crouch down to keep from being noticed as a handful of guards pass the building and look inside. When they leave, miraculously not noticing me, I start to explore. I look through filing cabinets and I find old case files…some are interesting. I even find one on my dad. Before the virus, it looks like he had fourteen Domestic Violence investigations, six D.U.I arrests and even an attempted murder charge when he was nineteen. From the report, it seems that some guy hitting on mom drove dad over the edge. The charges were eventually dropped though. Busy life papa had.
I make my way down some stairs and start to pass a cabinet, but I force it open and look inside. I find a gold mine of weapons. There are Guns, bullet proof vests, and other things. I open a drawer and find grenades. They are labeled ‘Smoke’, ‘Flash’ and ‘Riot’. The riot grenades have a low charge and when they go off, hard rubber pellets shoot out to incapacitate an attacker without doing permanent harm. I also find a few decent knives, and a weird paintball gun. I load it and shoot it, and when the paintball breaks, a powder cloud raises up and gets in my face. The powder stings my eyes and makes breathing hard. When I can finally see and breathe again, I set to work breaking all the pellets I can find, and collecting the powder into bags. About nine pounds of it all told. I also find a big brand new gear bag in other cabinets, and I put all my stuff into it and toss my old one aside.
After doing all this, I sneak past many Chosen, and head into one of my favorite pre-virus stores. It’s a karate weapon shop. I find very good swords in there, so I grab a nice one quickly. I also find an excellent set of Kamas. I had a friend before the virus who was learning karate, and when she went for her red belt, she had to demonstrate a Kama form to the master. She taught me a few of her moves. I was really proud when she got that belt. I place the Kamas in my bag along with a few throwing knives and things. I’ll have Colt, the Gaian leather worker, make me a holder for the Kamas when I get back to camp. As I turn to leave the store, I see a figure jump away from the window, and when I go outside, I don’t see the person, but I see a clear path to an open bar, so I head for it.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
After a couple of drinks, my frayed nerves are pretty much calmed down and I’m not hurting so much. Just then, a surprise visitor finds me. “Back to that again?” The person asks from behind me. I turn, and my face takes on a huge grin.
“TICIA!!!!!!” I yell, then jump from my chair and hug her. “I have missed you so much.” I tell her, then tell her to sit down. She moves my bag out of her way and sits in the chair opposite mine. “Damn, that’s heavy! What have you got in there?” She asks”
“Weapons.” I tell her and she looks at me with darkening eyes. “I thought you’d stopped fighting.” She says. Then: “The talk about you died out quite a while back.” Then she informs me that I owe her food for what I took when I left her.
“I’m sorry about the food Ticia. I had to leave, and I needed it.” I tell her, and then say “As for the weapons…well, you remember me talking about Ghany, right?” She nods her head to the affirmative, and I tell her “Well, I took him from Moz, and a while after I got him back to my tribe, there was a raid. He was killed. These damned Chosen did it.”
Ticia melts into sorrow and tells me that she’s sorry. Then we talk for several more hours, me getting more and more drunk as the time passes. She tells me that she’s been living in that farm where we used to get our food from when we were walking together. After several more minutes of talk, I finally decide that its time to go. I stumble to my feet, and I reach and hand her a few trinkets and trade items in place of the food I took. She accepts them, and I stumble aimlessly towards home.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
The whole way back to camp, all my drunken mind could think about was Gattaca. That night in my room, the passion, the joy, the feeling of all troubles melting away as time seemed to stop again and again each time she kissed me, each time her fingers touched me. For the first time since Ebony, I allow myself to feel that physical need, and that no matter who else I’ve ever wanted, that I’d trade all I own to be with Gattaca…if only I knew where she was.
Still full of that need, and of too much alcohol, I walk into camp, and stumble my way up the steps to Eagle’s hut. She wakes at the noise and says “Welcome home Wolf. Are you okay?” and she tenderly sits me on her bed.
“I…fine…muth beder.” I say, through alcohol slurred speech. I move sloppily over to her and try to kiss her. When she stops me, I say “stupit! Yugno ya wenna.” And grab at her again, trying to kiss her again as I pull my pants off.
Eagle forces me off her again and says “WOLF! Stop this. You’re drunk again!” I grunt and she says “Sleep it off! We’ll talk in the morning.”
“Nuh!” I half grunt “Yunah gaan geve me wut wunt, eh gaan tekit!” Then I start ripping her clothes off and straddle her and punch her over and over until she’s crying. Then I do something that neither I, nor she, even at my memorial, ever admit to again. As Eagle lay crying, staring at the wall beside her, I raped her for over an hour
She could have fought back, she could have screamed for help, anything. But she did something that hurt far worse than anything else she could have done otherwise. When I finished, she looked at me with wet, and terror filled eyes and she said “Its alright Jaymes…you couldn’t help it.” It hurt so much, because for the first time since I met her, she was so disappointed in me, that she didn’t use my Gaian name…she used my city name…and I had disappointed her.
For the rest of time, that one terrible, despicable event became known as ‘The Fight’
Chapter 10: Amber’s Journal
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[publisher’s notice: This document has been authenticated by the council on historical matters as having been written by Queen Amber in the days before the reign of Zoot I, and has been approved by the Council of Tribes to be included in this account. It must be noted that this is one of the few documents that is certified real that makes mention of this man known as Jaymes, and is the only certified document to be included in the overall work known as ‘The Jaymes Saga’, which is judged to be fictitious, although rumor persists to this day that ‘Jaymes’ was a real person, and not just a story akin to Odysseus.]
=======================================
Dear Journal:
It has been too long since Jaymes left me all alone. How could he just leave me here in this hell? He was supposed to come rescue me. I thought he was a man with some morals! I loved him, and he let me down, just like Bray, just like Sasha. How could Jaymes not see how I cared for him?
Surely he knows he should have been kicked out when he raped me, but even though what he did killed me, I couldn’t bear to send him out into the world alone…and it was just a touch of jealousy which kept him here, because I didn’t want some other girl snatching up Jaymes.
Jaymes…I love to just sit and say his name. Sure, in public I call him Wolf, but what a silly name for him. He’s beautiful, and so amazing. But I wish he hadn’t gone…not after everything. I suppose I should write out what happened to make me feel better.
The morning after he raped me, Jaymes woke up to me running my fingers through his hair and watching to make sure he was okay. It was clear that he remembered what he did, because as soon as his eyes met mine, he turned sad and shed a tear. I told him it was alright, that all was forgiven, but he couldn’t live with it. He got up and went outside to be alone. Oh how I was hurting for him. I know he didn’t mean to do it, and he is ripping himself up inside.
I came down to breakfast and sat beside him, and when some of the others asked if we were alright, because they heard noises last night, Jaymes almost confessed, but I stopped him and said “We were having a fight is all, nothing important.” And as I held my hand in his, I said “We’re fine now, aren’t we Wolf?” He grunted, but said nothing else.
He was distant from me for quite some time, and around the same time that Zoot came, other things began to happen. Things I couldn’t let the others know, so for some time, I started to become reclusive. Zoot always came dressed in a robe and hood so as not to be noticed, and when he noticed Jaymes, I told him everything. Zoot started to tell me that I shouldn’t let him do such things to me, and Jaymes doesn’t deserve the things I’m giving him. Then the talk about kicking me out of the tribe began. The only person who refused to entertain ideas of removing me was my Wolf…gentle warrior.
So I asked for him one day, many months later, and when he came in, me covered in a thick heavy blanket, he asked if I was sick…I told him yes, because I felt sick over everything that Zoot and I had talked about, and how I now had this secret from Wolf…this pact with the man he hates so much. Wolf asked if he could do anything, and I spoke to him candidly.
“Yes Wolf, there is something you can do.” I said, hoping by what I was about to do, to force him to love me. “There are many who want to kick me out of here…by force if they must. You are not one of them. I can only trust you.” I said, then I said something to him that disturbed him in so many ways. I asked him in the one way I knew would work on him. “Wolf, can I ask you a question?” I began. He just innocently said “Yes.”, then I said “I ask this from my heart to the one heart I trust more than any. There are people here who I think would do me harm. You are not among them. I ask as Eagle to Wolf, give me your bond of protection. Keep my life as your own.”
Oh how Jaymes was astonished, and frightened as I brought out the small knife and cut my right hand and left shoulder and did the same to him, but he did not say a word, except to say “Yes Tribemistress.” I hate that word, it’s his way of saying I’m someone to be respected and not loved. I have done everything short of saying that to get him to call me anything else.
When our cut hands are covering the shoulder cuts, I say “The circle of blood is our bond, through it we pass our burdens, our loves, our promises, our selves. Through the blood we share our hardships and we share our celebrations. If there is no us, the circle is not complete. The one must shoulder the burden of the two. We protect each other, for the circle is our bond.” Jaymes is so disturbed that he leaves immediately. Just in time to miss a small spasm in me. Zoot would be here soon, I had to wait.
Then Zoot did come, and he came to me with the food, and the water I had promised him in the deal we made, and he also took something from me. He took the weapon that I would use many years in the future to get even with those who don’t love me. He had to kill Puma, because Puma knew about the secret, it was a mistake to do that, because when Wolf found out that Puma was dead, he packed and left.
When I asked him where he was going, he said “Back to where this all began.”…I actually broke down in front of the tribe and begged him to stay with me, but he just walked away…and never acknowledged my begging him to stay with him ever again.
Chapter 11: Beginnings from Endings
------------------------------------------------
So, I did what I told Eagle. I went back to where it all began. I walked off, and made my way through the walk out of the city, an easier walk this time, since I was now used to walking, and moving fast. I made the walk in almost two days. It was to be the event that set my life on its ear, and made me the man I am as I write this.
I walked up to the door, and was stopped by three big guards…people I’d never seen before. They knocked me to the ground when I tried to force my way inside, saying I was here on business. One hit a button on some box thing on his side and said “Tell Ram there’s a Virt here trying to force his way in. He says its business.”
The boy listens a minute, and then, picking me up, says “Alright, lets go.” And takes me in through the familiar corridors to a room where I’m thrown on the ground and locked in and made to wait.
Finally, Ram comes into the room, standing over me like some kind of slave master. “So, the prodigal son returns home eh?” Ram says as I look up at him, not really having any kind of emotion towards him.
“Not the prodigal son I should think.” I tell him. “More like the misunderstood brother looking to return to his roots.” Then I think to myself that its more like the screw up kid asking mom and dad for a handout.
I speak again before he does. “Can I come home?” I ask. Not wanting to say more, afraid to seem like I’m begging. I know Ram hates that, and he’d turn me away and laugh about it all the while.
Ram stares, and makes a little noise…some stupid thing that means he’s thinking, then he says “Hmmm…let you come home? Why? You left me, why do I let you come back and let you eat my food, drink my water, and take my medicines again?”
I stare back at him. I don’t let him know about my time with the Gaian tribe, but I say “I’ve had some interesting experiences since I was here. I don’t require nearly as much food as I used to.” Ram laughs when I say “You can test me.” He nods his head, and with sick pleasure, he says he will.
Three days later, he comes back, unlocks the door, and enters the room. “And how did we do. You must be hungry…nothing to eat in three whole days. Are you sure you want to come back?”
Its my turn to laugh at him. “I said I didn’t need as much food as I used to, not that I’d go hungry.” I point at a pile of bug carcasses on the floor. “I’ve eaten all I needed.” Then I smile a sarcastic smile at him, and say “You sure need to fumigate this place.”
Ram looks at me, and he starts to laugh uncontrollably, and through the laughter, he says “Fine! You can come back.”
And I do take back into my role of commander again, easily and readily, though I’m far more outspoken and defiant of the plan Ram has for the world. That leads up to the battle between Ram and I. Where I tried to leave, and he tried to stop me, and I injured him permanently. I really can’t say more than I already have on that fight. I put Ram in a wheelchair forever.
So, after the fight, I found myself in a V-Room. Jay and Ice had me hooked up to the machine. Ready to scan me, then kill me at Ram’s order. But I found out that that was the farthest thing from their minds. They told me they were going to help me.
“We’re going to send you out of the city. To make sure you never come back, we’re going to try and isolate all your memories of your time as a Techno, and we’re going to erase it.” Jay says, and then I hear a voice say “Program in the memories I’ve ordered.” Jay says “Yes Baval.” Then, as I try to protest what’s happening to me, I feel a burning in my arms, and my body goes limp, but I’m still awake, though I feel in a very deep sleep. Then I remember nothing until something amazing happened.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
“Uhhh!” I groan loudly, and wake into a bright afternoon sun shining directly in my eyes. I groan louder a couple more times, then I open my eyes and try to get up, which is impossible.
“Don’t move.” A girls voice says, and my eyes try unsuccessfully to focus on the red haired girl. The girl’s footsteps, and faded image moving away from me are all I take in, then I hear a large burst of movement coming towards wherever I am. Then the girls voice “He woke up just now.” The girl says, Another voice, slightly familiar says. “Thanks Salene.”
A few more minutes of a whole bunch of fuss, then all the blurs but one disappears. Then that blur sets on the end of whatever I’m laying on. I assume it’s a bed, but one could easily assume it’s a bed.
I try to get up, and I fail at that. “Just lay still.” The still familiar voice says. “Your muscles have probably atrophied. You’ve been down a long time.” I am told. I take this in silently. I can’t see well, and I don’t know if I can trust these people. The person says “Its okay, don’t worry about it. You’ll be fine in a bit.”
After a couple of hours, my eyes are starting to focus in really well, and I see two little girls standing outside my door. It took me until I started writing this to realize it, but Cloe was scared of me because I threatened her, and Patsy was scared because Cloe was.
The girls ran off when I locked eyes with them, then a moment later, an unexpected person comes in…Ebony. What on earth is she doing in THIS place? I hide my fear, because I suddenly realize that I’m helpless in Zoot’s clutches. I soon find out this isn’t so, as Ebony says “The Mallrats found you on a beach…why were you there?”
Just as I’m about to say the words “I don’t know how I got there Ebony.”, I see something that I didn’t think I’d ever see, and something that shocks me at the same time. Trudy walks into the room, carrying her daughter. What I say is, “Wow, you’ve got kids here?”
Ebony tells me that its just the one, and asks “How did you end up on that beach Jaymes?” Memories of the time I came to the mall and wanted to kill this child here…Trudy’s child. The daughter of the girl I love most in the world, and I would have killed her…and Trudy too.
Ebony asks again. “How did you get on the beach Jaymes?” and I make a decision that seems the best, and allows me to escape my pain of everything, and my love for Trudy, and my love for Ebony.
I look at her, a mock confused look on my face and say “Who’s Jaymes?”
-THE END-
***COMING SOON***
THE JAYMES SAGA CONTINUES WITH ‘DARK MIDNIGHT—THE JAYMES SAGA PT. 7’